curra Report post Posted July 2, 2006 DS is having more frequent and worse meltdowns lately and as he grows I find it harder to calm him down. This weekend it has been a complete horror: tears, swearing at me, seizures, he harmed himself with a pencil , and tried to hurt me throwing a fork and pencils at my face, twisting my arms, he screams, then when things start to get a bit quieter he starts again shouting, "Please don't leave me!!" "I'm so desperate" - it's impossible to say how terrible this 2-day long meltdown has been. There has been no triggers at home. ASt last he said its the school and the thought of going back tomorrow. I try to stay calm, don't get angry, don't demand much of him, reassure him, do everything to avoid him being anxious, but it has been of little help. I was about to call an emergency doctor this evening, but I hesitate because once I asked the emergency line and they said that they would come and sedate him. I gave him his Melatonin and he fell asleep after 30 minutes. But what can I do if it gets worse and out of control? Has any of you experience with this kind of meltdowns? Would an emergency doctor be of any use? Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted July 2, 2006 <'> <'> <'> You reassure him and don't demand much of him - but the you can't take away the cause which appears to be school. He is telling you this, which means that he knows what the problem is, and often the overload does happen at home. I think that age is a factor because we had some volcanic eruptions between the ages of 12 and 16. If your son has seizures is he on meds for them and could they be playing a part here? I have a friend and her son has seizures but not ASD, the meds he takes for his seizures can make him aggressive. Stress can also induce a seizure in my friends son so could the stress be adding to everything? I can't offer you any advice here all I can say it that when it reached this point with my son we took him out of the environment that was causing the damage. It's not the answer for everyone but it was for us. I would not like to say re an emergency doctor I know someone who called for one and he simply called the on duty psychiatrist who was a 7 hour journey away Oracle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bramblebrae Report post Posted July 3, 2006 <'> <'> <'> You reassure him and don't demand much of him - but the you can't take away the cause which appears to be school. He is telling you this, which means that he knows what the problem is, and often the overload does happen at home. I think that age is a factor because we had some volcanic eruptions between the ages of 12 and 16. If your son has seizures is he on meds for them and could they be playing a part here? I have a friend and her son has seizures but not ASD, the meds he takes for his seizures can make him aggressive. Stress can also induce a seizure in my friends son so could the stress be adding to everything? I can't offer you any advice here all I can say it that when it reached this point with my son we took him out of the environment that was causing the damage. It's not the answer for everyone but it was for us. I would not like to say re an emergency doctor I know someone who called for one and he simply called the on duty psychiatrist who was a 7 hour journey away Oracle this may be the entirely wrong thing to do but i think id give in and say no school tomorrow and get him straight to gp in the morning though its 2am now this isnt much use. I would think he needs referred to councellor is it camhs i think who can maybe help him sort out what is causing his anxiety about school and also back you up in case school cause trouble at him being off. i have no experience of this I've not had very big meltdowns yet my son is only just coming up for 7yrs old though when he has lashed out at me and I know things are getting really out of hand I just back off physically if hes not in danger and try to talk really calmly I dont, well i don't think you can, discuss the problem until a state of calmness is reached. I'm sure your doing the right thing as it is. It's just not in your power to remove his anxiety about school other than saying he can stay home sick for the one day maybe get him to agree to talk to gp about it all at the time. its just what i feel is what i would do in the situation you have described. It must be very worrying for you and scary I hope things get better soon..let us know how it goes take care Lorraine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
onlycrazygal Report post Posted July 3, 2006 i would take him out of school love , if school is making him feel this bad im sorry but i wouldnt hesitate , though granted its a very personal decision....... i really do hope your both feeling better soon.... <'> hugs, paula x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tez Report post Posted July 3, 2006 Curra, it does sound as though school is at the root of all the problems. A's doctor has always said to me that it's no good treating the symptoms unless you tackle the cause. She's always told me to use melatonin to calm A if he becomes hysterical although he is more inclined to internalise his problems, so I think you took the right step here, but you do need to tackle the root cause. Totally agree with Oracle that you need to reassure him and not demand too much from him.Personally, like Oracle, our solution was also to take A out of school, although we hesitated too long before doing so. If you read any of my recent posts you will see that I feel totally vindicated in doing this. However, this is a personal decision and you may feel it better to get him extra support at school. I do think that there needs to be a record both on his medical notes and his school records of the problems and I think a referral to CAMHS or an urgent appointment if he's already using the CAMHS service are called for. They can back you up with the school and LEA whatever way you decide to proceed. I really hope you find a solution. <'> <'> for you and your son. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted July 3, 2006 Maybe get him signed off school for the rest of the term,or maybe come to some sort of agreement with school and just let him do mornings....dinner and playtime are probably best avoided I would definitely go and see the gp..........fact is you don,t want this to get any worse than it is already is.My son is winding himself up for...............sports day..........leavers day..............leavers assembly..........leavers trip..........awards assembly................the last day............with all this going on it,s no wonder they get more stressed and anxious . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zemanski Report post Posted July 3, 2006 This will get worse if you don't deal with the anxiety As a first step I would say don't formally take him out of school this stage - get a sick note and a referral to CAMHS as others suggest - if you just take him out then you can run into legal trouble unless you deregister him properly, also if you degregister a this point the LEA have no responsibility to provide anything for him. Some people prefer this and it works for them but it is a huge committment, also it rules out specialist placements which might be available and might be the answer for him - a small unit or special school might suit him. Tez and I both decided we wanted the resources of the LEA to support our boys and it has been a struggle but both have had support from an LEA department called EOTAS (education other than at school) who provide tuition and sometimes placement in a small unit. Their aim is officially to reintegrate into mainstream but this should only happen if it is appropriate. Most parents don't know this is available but as a sick child suffering from anxiety your son would be eligible, once the school has the sick note and it is clear he will be absent for more than 15 school days they should contact EOTAS to set this up. This may work out or not, but at any rate it would give you time to explore options and make a decision for your boy in a considered way. just another option Zemanski Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted July 3, 2006 Thanks everyone for your messages. I came as soon as I got up to the PC to read them and I'm glad and relieved to be backed up by you in my decisiosn over night not to send him to school today and take him today straight to the GP. I asked DS how's his feeling today and he said he's afraid of school, so it's very clear. I don't like him to miss on his learning but his health comes first. He has an app with his councellor in a week. They have not gone too much into the causes of his reactions but on his behaviour there and IMO he doesn't feel supported very much from that front. GP may help - I hope. M has always had a certain anxiety about going to school but this year it got worse and after he was excluded some weeks ago it's getting just too much because he harms himself and tries to hurt me too. When that happens I think that if he hurt me and I couldn't care for him for sometime it would be so difficult for him, so I also get very scared and that doesn't help very much. But I won't call emergency if it happens again I'll post later again after seeing the GP <'> <'> Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jb1964 Report post Posted July 3, 2006 Hi Curra, Hope he's feeling a little less anxious this morning - it is so scarey when they're like this and even though school is the problem it is so difficult to get to the root of it. I can understand your worries too about what would happen if you couldn't look after him - I think you need to explain all this to your GP. Can someone keep your son in the waiting room while you go in first to explain the problems - I know my daughter doesn't cope very well when I'm talking about her in front of her - and if I mention something has happened and it hasn't happened that morning - she'll keep interrupting getting me to explain what I mean all the time. Good luck at the GP's. Take care, Jb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tez Report post Posted July 3, 2006 Curra Good luck at the GPs this morning. Hope he understands and helps. Zemanski is right, don't deregister just get him signed off sick for now. Sorry I should have made it plain in my post that that is how we took A out of school. He's been off sick for about 15 months now, but fortunately we now have a statement that stipulates home ed by the LEA, although they're wriggling like mad to get out of it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted July 3, 2006 We're back from the GP. He didn't "sign" him off but said that I can keep M at home and let the school know that he saw M and agrees that he stays at home. The GP also said I have to ask for a meeting at school to ask that things are in place so that he can go back to school feeling safe. That sounds fine but I've already done it and things haven't changed much according to M. I didn't speak to the GP alone though, I think I'll give him a ring later to explain him the rest. M is feeling more relaxed now Thank you all of you for your replies! <'> <'> <'> I know that I can find help and support in this forum and I REALLY appreciate it! Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
