Can you discourage physical violence

[Lynden]

Logan is three in a few weeks, and although he's skin and bone, and fairly hyptonic he can give a good wallop when he wants to, and is good at kicking - which is really painful because he's in stability boots.

 

At the minute he's only physical with me, and only when he's frustrated or upset, and I can handle it but I do worry what it'll be like in a few years time.

 

I'm not sure how best to discourage it though other than just say no sharply and removing myself from him.

 

(he has limited understanding atm so social stories etc would be a waste of time and he's completely non verbal also.

 

Lynne x

[bid]

Only a quick thought...

 

I would use the same simple phrase each time, such as 'No kicking' and 'Hands down'. These were a couple of phrases suggested to us, and they are also used at the special school where I work.

 

We were told that it's essential to use the same simple phrase each time, as it helps with understanding.

 

I'm sure others will be along soon with more good tips.

 

Bid

[Guest flutter]

have recently been told that showing a hand and saying stop can help,

have always been told not too much chat ( which snoookers me)

[lisann]

Yes NAS help day suggested using a red circle and just saying STOP.

Don't know if that would work.

 

Lisa x

[bramblebrae]

Logan is three in a few weeks, and although he's skin and bone, and fairly hyptonic he can give a good wallop when he wants to, and is good at kicking - which is really painful because he's in stability boots.

 

At the minute he's only physical with me, and only when he's frustrated or upset, and I can handle it but I do worry what it'll be like in a few years time.

 

I'm not sure how best to discourage it though other than just say no sharply and removing myself from him.

 

(he has limited understanding atm so social stories etc would be a waste of time and he's completely non verbal also.

 

Lynne x

 

 

Hi sorry can I totally butt in - firstly hi fellow Aberdeenshire person well I'm in Aberdeen itself now. I'm not to sure myself what to do my son does lash out occasionally at me and others at school when in primary 1 ..I say no and sometimes smack his bum which is probably wrong- my dad goes absolutley nuts the couple of times he has seen him hitting me he shouts very loud at S and school well if he hit a child they didn't seem to care that much but if it's a member of staff they don't see it as ASD related (well they didn't-now he has 1to1 support in school most of the time and a weekly social group with autism outreach teacher-it hasn't happened - funny that school still act this way alot even though I feel we have shown how different he is with the right support).

 

What I wanted to butt in about was this-- my son has worn AFO's ankle foot orthoses (splints) for mmh 2 or 3 years now but at his last orthotics review they have prescribed stability boots. The whole appointment was a bit chaotic cause S was totally hyper like I've never really witnessed before - jumping around everthing- coulda been cause we had a different lady and there was a physiotherapist there too - so not quite as expected and it was the first week of the holidays. Anyway the thing is she mentioned inserts being put in the stability boots but then they didn't make any casts or anything as usually would happen for the afo's and I wondered if your son had inserts in his boots and are these standard things or do they need to make casts of the actual foot first? Thing is my sons trainers are falling apart and I've tried various shoe shops and cannot get a shoe/trainer to fit over the splints. So we are hoping in vain that the stability boots show up before the sole falls out the bottoms of these. It shouldn't be long, just after school goes back I think, but if we then have to wait until cast is taken and insert made I think he'll be going to school barefoot for a bit. Thanks for your help

 

Lorraine

[call me jaded]

We had one technique that was really effective, which was to say 'Out' and then remove him from whichever room we were in and shut the door on him. It only had to be for a few seconds and after he'd learnt that we meant it, we usually only had to say 'Stop or you're going out'.

 

It really helped if we told him how good he was generally, and we never tried to go back over bad behaviour with him as he used to get infuriated if we said he was naughty, or bad in any way.

 

So for us it was a modified 'naughty step' and positive reinforcement. Works with our other children too.

 

I think you have to be prepared to follow through even if it's totally inconvenient to do so.

[Lynden]

Hi sorry can I totally butt in - firstly hi fellow Aberdeenshire person well I'm in Aberdeen itself now. I'm not to sure myself what to do my son does lash out occasionally at me and others at school when in primary 1 ..I say no and sometimes smack his bum which is probably wrong- my dad goes absolutley nuts the couple of times he has seen him hitting me he shouts very loud at S and school well if he hit a child they didn't seem to care that much but if it's a member of staff they don't see it as ASD related (well they didn't-now he has 1to1 support in school most of the time and a weekly social group with autism outreach teacher-it hasn't happened - funny that school still act this way alot even though I feel we have shown how different he is with the right support).

 

What I wanted to butt in about was this-- my son has worn AFO's ankle foot orthoses (splints) for mmh 2 or 3 years now but at his last orthotics review they have prescribed stability boots. The whole appointment was a bit chaotic cause S was totally hyper like I've never really witnessed before - jumping around everthing- coulda been cause we had a different lady and there was a physiotherapist there too - so not quite as expected and it was the first week of the holidays. Anyway the thing is she mentioned inserts being put in the stability boots but then they didn't make any casts or anything as usually would happen for the afo's and I wondered if your son had inserts in his boots and are these standard things or do they need to make casts of the actual foot first? Thing is my sons trainers are falling apart and I've tried various shoe shops and cannot get a shoe/trainer to fit over the splints. So we are hoping in vain that the stability boots show up before the sole falls out the bottoms of these. It shouldn't be long, just after school goes back I think, but if we then have to wait until cast is taken and insert made I think he'll be going to school barefoot for a bit. Thanks for your help

 

Lorraine

 

Hi Lorraine :-)

 

Its nice to hear from someone close by! Logan is supposed to get splints too but he flipped out last visit to Orthotics too so they couldn't see him walk so couldn't decide if he needed splints or if his boots were enough. The inserts are standard and not made to fit - they have various different sizes/shapes so they just pick the one that best fits your wee one. Logan wont wear them at all. If your child has sensory issues it can take them some getting used to. If they decide he doesn't need splints we probably will need to try the inserts again to stop his ankles turning in his boots. We're waiting for a bigger pair for Logan too - I think this last lot took about 3 weeks to come so hopefully wont be too long for you!!

 

Lynne x