feel so bad and guilty ....!!!

[smiley1590]

i feel so bad n guilty when i eat ...... i can't explain it feel so disgusted hideous like i'm making my body fatter uglier all i go if had choice would be to jog all day and night or go gym .....

 

 

[Tally]

What is your doctor doing to help you with this?

[smiley1590]

havn't told my doctor!

[Tally]

You have posted a number of times about this kind of thing. It's obviously been going on a long time and isn't going to go away on its own. If you don't get proper medical help, you are just going to feel worse and worse. People on the forum cannot offer you the specialist medical help you need. You need to speak to a doctor.

[baranigirl]

well done for admitting it on here, next step is to find a friend you can confide in, they can go to see a GP with you xxx

[smiley1590]

yeps fanks for your advice soory to keep going on bout mine and my mates issues i must annoy and frustrate you guys! i know i do that to myself! feel like a burden talkin about everything all time!

[Tally]

The problem is that you are talking to the wrong people. What people on the forum can provide is a friendly listening ear. People would be more willing to provide that if they knew it was all you needed - because you were getting specialist help from a doctor. To expect people on an internet forum to provide you with your only source of support with a serious illness puts too much pressure on people and isn't fair on them.

 

I all these thoughts and feelings about yourself are as bad as you say they are, why won't you ask for the treatment that could stop them?

[smiley1590]

sorry to put pressure on everyone on here wasn't my intentions feel selfish wrong and bad now! i'm scared afraid get help!X

[dana]

Hi Smilie,

 

Pleeeease do not feel guilty for talking about your problems here. <'> We all have problems and do that. Thank God for this forum. Nice and friendly people here have helped me a lot as well.

 

It is good that you have a courage to admit that you DO have a problem with eating. I agree with Tally that you need help from your doctor about this. Only he can give you proper medical advice. Please DO it rather sooner than later because this is a serious metter and there IS help available. You are brave and you can do it. Maybe that idea to ask one of your friends to go with you is a good one. Keep us informed.

 

Best wishes

 

Danaxxx

[Paula]

Smiley

 

Ive had eating issues all my life i understand exactley the fealings you are haveing.

 

Up until the age of 16 i was fine then i suddenly became more aware of my body and although id always been realy slim five foot 7 and at the time a size 8 i decided i wanted to get into exercise............to cut a long storey short by the time i reached 18 i had gained weight through being depressed and stuff and was suddenly a size 16 i went on a diet and lost the weight and it was this that triggered years and years of eating problems.

 

I used to not eat for days on end i fealt horrendous but wanted to remaine slim after id lost the weight ...........then id be so damn hungry id binge eat for days on end then id feel guilty and starve myself this went on for years at one stage i fealt so guilty after eating that i drank salt water in an attempt to make myself sick.

 

I would have periods where i was reasonabley well and would eat kinda normally but it wouldnt last long..........i was also very very secretive over my eating habits........if i was going out for a meal with family then to appear normal id starve all day so that i wouldnt take in too many calories during the meal yet could eat it all up so that no one would realise.

 

 

I was extreamley unhappy and desperate for the binge starve cycle to end..............i look bakc at photos and i can now see how painfully thin i was yet at the time i fealt i had to be thinner........

 

 

I contacted the eating disorder associating it was a place where i coudl be honest about my habits a place to talk and they also did a news letter.......its a while back now so im not sure hwta they do now.

 

I still have problems regarding self image food and weight and im 41 so ive spent a hell of a long time like this......im now a healthy weight 10 stone and a decent size 12 and i try not to let it get a hold of me againe but its not easy............when i start to get scared and my husband says youre not fat i now choose to beleive him rather than what my own mind tells me because it can and was often wrong......the photos prove i was seeing things wrongly.........

 

 

People often think food issues are purely about weight but controll and fear are often at the root .

 

Please get help talk to someone a gp or a freind dont spend the best years of youre life like i did in misery.

[Final]

Maybe a contrasting attitude will grant some perspective here...

 

I am underweight, and always have been. It has been a consistent source of mockery and teasing for me since i was very young. When i was in middle-school (9-12 years old) my ribs and spine were very visible. It has been a source of anxiety, depression and self-loathing for a long time. The worst thing is that i get plenty of exercise, and if money and time permitted i would eat pretty much constantly; i'm always hungry, and have a ridiculously fast metabolism.

 

Whilst some people who are worried about being overweight think that i am lucky, i feel completely the opposite. I consider overweight people the lucky ones - being able to gain and lose weight at whim seems ideal to me.

 

When it comes to feeling disgusted by eating, perhaps the following viewpoint may be useful. Food is awesome. There is a ridiculous variety of delicious foods to sample and enjoy. This is possible for anyone, regardless of plans for weight loss or gain. Having such extensive tastebuds is one of the finest joys of being human.

 

 

I'm not sure how to communicate this point properly, but to try and summarize i'm saying that there are people such as myself in the opposite boat, and also that food is to be enjoyed, not despised.