Fourthdimension

Bedlam Insane Asylum We all know the word bedlam refers to a state of utter madness but do you really know the origins of the word? Bedlam originally referred to the notorious insane asylum which opened its doors (as a priory, St. Mary of Bethlehem) in thirteenth centuryLondon. Without a doubt it was a place where chaos and madness were the norm. One can almost imagine the sound of clinking chains mixed in with the rants and raves of hopeless lunatics left to the devices of keepers ill prepared to provide the comfort and care we now know an individual clutched in the throws of mental illness requires. So bedlam meaning "a scene or state of uproar and confusion" (according to the online dictionary Dictionary.com) came into contemporary vernacular through a circuitous path whose origin lie in the mispronunciation of the word Bethlem.. and more information can be found here http://www.squidoo.com/bedlam-insane-asylum More information on the 21st century and the hospital " 21st century In 1999, Bethlem Royal Hospital became part of the South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust ("SLaM"), along with the Maudsley Hospital in Camberwell. In 2001 SLaM sought planning permission for an expanded Medium Secure Unit in 2001 and extensive further works to improve security, much of which would be on Metropolitan Open Land. Local residents groups organised mass meetings to oppose the application, with accusations that it was unfair most patients could be from inner London areas and therefore not locals and that drug use was rife in and around the Hospital. Bromley Council eventually refused the application, with Croydon Council also objecting. However the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister overturned the decision to refuse in 2003, and development started. The new 89-bed, £33.5m unit (River House) opened in February 2008.[10] It is the most significant development on the site since the hospital was formally opened at Monks Orchard in 1930.[11]River House represents a major improvement in the quality of local NHS care for people with mental health problems. The unit provides care for people who were previously being treated in hospitals as far as 200 miles away from their families because of the historic shortage of medium secure beds in South-east London. This, in turn, was intended to help the NHS to manage people's progress through care and treatment more effectively. The Hospital Trust still owns land throughout England, often left to it as a bequest. It owns a lease in Piccadilly for which it has paid the same peppercorn rent for over 200 years. This property is let out to shops and a hotel, which contributes to funding." he hospital includes a range of specialist services such as the National Psychosis Unit. Other services on the hospital include the Bethlem Adolescent Unit which provides care and treatment for young people aged 12 – 18 from across the UK. A virtual tour of the unit is available on the SLaM website.[12] The hospital also has an occupational therapy department, which has its own art gallery displaying work of current patients, and a number of noted artists have been past patients at the hospital over the years.[13] Several examples of their work can be found in the Bethlem museum. Which is from my favorite unreliable source http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bethlem_Royal_Hospital So to be honest mate ......Dont worry there not medival practitioners and human rights gave them not the right to experiment on you and we now have ethical codes of conduct like the right to withdraw There most likely just gonna ask you some questions and get to know you So chill its gonna be fine

Here's a bit of info : http://www.national.slam.nhs.uk/services/adult-services/bgc/ Here's what services they provide : http://www.slam.nhs.uk/service-finder.aspx?SiteLocation=Maudsley%20Hospital Here's a timeline that tends to rant a lot about its uniqueness and excellence lol from been the oldest psychiatric hospital in the world dating back too 1247 been returned to London council and been reopened in 1923 to coining the word bedlam from the old name for the hospital which was Bethlehem and Bedlam was used in Shakespeare plays as a word denoting confusion and turmoil. After the fire of London (1666) which swept through the city of London inside the old Roman wall the hospital was reopened as "the new Bethlehem" in 1676 when it was reopened. in 1770 Bethlehem was the only public institution for those with mental disorders it also had a groovy slogan (" Aversos Compono Animos ") translating too "I bring relief to a troubled mind". The name maudlsey came from Dr Henry Maudsley an eminent psychiatrist, whom urged the London City Council to establish a "fitly equipped hospital for mental diseases". Then 1915 the war office takes control of the place and then London city council dont get it back until 1923 then in 1930 it was relocated too Beckenham where it is today.In ​In 1948 Nhs formed providing free health care for everyone at the point of delivery 1999 - South London and Maudsley NHS Trust (SLaM) was formed following the reconfiguration of community and mental health services in south east London. 2008- They close their medium secure unit at Cane hill Close although most had already been closed in 1992 2011-The Maudsley part of the name is internationally recognised for excellence in research, treatment and teaching in mental health care. Heres the information on its history http://www.slam.nhs.uk/about-us/history.aspx?selcat=4638&page=1&showcat=4638&selattr=&selattrs=4875%2c4874&item= Ok so I guess that tells you what they do and the history but after a ciggarette and a coffee I'll see if i can find anything else about them

I ain't posted on here for awhile. I normally just come here to check my pm's but I'm interested in going To be honest it would be great to meet people who are like minded and who have had similar problems or similar interests but at this present minute I'd probably only be interested in meeting up depending on who else is attending. I've been writing and then erasing this one sentence for the past ten minutes so am just gonna leave this message as it is

holocaust

fireblanket

lol Darkshine that must have took some work

Thats not weird about you having an imaginery friend from a tv programme.I was a lot weirder then that lol do you know peach from the Mario brothers well i use to think she was my wife and go around talking to her and i think as i grew older i dare say 14 i imagined well enacted my imagination of erm..well having sex with her. All this would be understandable if i had a mental dysfuntion or abnormality however i honestly don't apart from aspergers or social anxiety and a misanthropic view maybe even a slight chemical imablance causing maybe well not depression and i would nt refer to it as bi-polar but i would explain it as a fluctuation of emotions. I dont mean to seem insane or come across as annoying or need sectioning nor do i want to seem arrogant or egocentric when i say am intelligent or at least of average intelligence. I'm just trying to say its not weird that you done that. Imagination is a powerful tool , an invisible trap or a glimpse of the future. We can create a subjective experience of almost anything and its nothing to worry about. Darkshines right when she says it depends on how common the name is and also we find names attractive , its hard to believe but we prefer some names over others and names that we dont like we can thing negativelty of. So i guess that would mean that names that we are fond of or attracted to we create a more positive piccture of and that would result in social or intrapersonal attraction and whatever follows from there. I don't dismiss the paranormal. I'm really spiritual. #i believe that the paranormal can be thought of as a cause when there is no rational explanation. I dont believe in coincidences because if something happens . that it just happens then its insignificant but nothing is insignificant every thing happens for a reason, a cause or a lesson. Sorry , i didn't mean to write a serious reply or for it to sound that way. Am just in a better mood than i was before. Take care

incinerated

Hey Clarebear, Is it typical for depression and/or for people without depression to go through waves of manic and mania like one time i might be sad and the next happy all in a short space of time but some that prevail for longer than others, i use to wonder if it was bi-polar because my mam showed symptoms of bi-polar but my mood swings are that drastic to be identified as bi-polar X Hey Darkshine, I think your right it is most likely to be caused by each a majority of factors. I never put AS on lol because AS is a label and not a factor lol. physiological causes, nurture and social acceptance could all be factors that cause AS but they also cause many other things <'> hugs x

Hi Bid, OK , so how do you think this is speaking for people with AS? Its actually about specific types of people who actually assign purpose and significance to the things they do and have a different outlook than others. Not AS people not NT people but a mix of a few from both groups. Yes, people think differently some more so than others , but did i mention specifically AS? Yes your right firstly my problem was a grammatical rule influenced by my regional use of pronouns as if you come to where i live you would here alot of people refer to themselves as "we" meaning me and everyone who thinks this or alike. This is what i mean by "we". Secondly i have just attached a weblink here which goes to the wikipedia page for aspergers. If you scroll down the list you will see that a symptom of aspergers is to feel like a stranger in an alien world. so i was not wrong when i said a symptom....am not saying we all have it . Al i am saying is that it is a well known symptom of aspergers. "Asperger syndrome is sometimes called "wrong planet" syndrome because people with Asperger syndrome often feel that they are quite normal but are living in a world full of aliens." http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=aspergers%20simple%20explanation&source=web&cd=2&sqi=2&ved=0CCYQFjAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fsimple.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FAsperger_syndrome&ei=as7PTqXrFsGc8gPdzt3lDw&usg=AFQjCNGmju-T_IrSSjZj67WzdOgHm-bo5w Hey Darkshine - haha your totally right about the sheep and ants . I enjoyed reading that. where did you find out soo much about sheep haha I dont think its trust that they follow each other because of but rather despair. The feeling of helplessness when everyone around you who you rely on for comfort suddenly dashes away leaving you in panic and despair . so in danger we think fast in order to quell the danger and reform in your comfort one which is the flock so the natural thing to then do would be too follow the flock to avoid been left alone in despair and panic at the alien life of independence and solitude Thanks Darkshine X

Hi Baddad, I agree with that. Your right that it is exercising a degree of moderation "on my own terms" rather than complying to normative social influence and your right some people do like been the victim and victimized. There is a good book on this called "The games that people play" written by Eric Berne. (Anyone who wants a copy i got it on email to share). On the other hand, Personally i dont like playing the victim nor any other role. I seclude my self in my little room so that i dont become the victim. Wel, Baddad looks like I'd get what i wanted because frankly i dont want to be accomodated by people i am perfectly happy in my little bubble. I just like to rant alot Maybe it is a pretty dismissive way to treat humanity but i guess am just treating them the same way they treat *"me". if my dad done that to me and told me where i could ram it , i d turn back round and personally assist him in practical way and show him where he could raam it too Because Baddad children , your son or whatever, were all entitled to our expression of free speech and also choice and in not allowing them to decide for themselves is totally wrong and if your son did turn around and say that to you then maybe bowlby was right and it means something is wrong with the parenting and not the child does nt say much for my mam and dad. Thanks Hey Darkshine Thank you because thats exactly how i see things aswell. Your right about obsessions and that they can become harmful. I dont know if there would be a difference in the example you used . What do you think would be the outcome? I suppose thinking in a normal way is different than both shallow and obsessional because i think that obsessional or shallow thinking has alot of affectionate distortion because we feel passionate about the object or goal more and we become more judgemental to people who dont agree with us because i guess obsession and shallowness are ways of percieving things and we make them so much a part of us that seeing things in a different manner such as the normal way of seeing a box is just a box not a work of masterpiece but for the obsessor it is his masterpiece and saying otherwise is offensive to him or her because their obsessions become a possession of their own with a great degree of significance. I think there cant be a normal way in seeing things but maybe an interlocking circle of norms that most NT's abide by for example they all have different normalities than each other and than us but there more ontop of each other all the time which makes normative and informative social influence more influential because of proximity, functional or physical, similarity, circumstance and association and positive reinforcement been stronger than if the person lived without much socialbillity like many here live, including myself. I think these influences just tie them and make stronger bonds to society like a drug they become dependant on it. acting in a way to be postively reinforced by the social group or internalising a best friend or lover changing them from who they are to who society wants them to be. So in the end i think that even if they do have a cause or a goal to reach it will still be highly influenced by the peer groups and the reinforcement given by them or maybe just for the reason of positive reinforcement. Obsessional thoughts have less social ties because you dont internalise the social group into yourself but instead you internalise the desired goal or object making this your life and feeling passionate towards the cause and of course its easier to get lost in your obsession without those social ties to tell us when we have gone too far Shallow thoughts i think shallowness is where something has went wrong in there life and someone has negatively reinforced a shallow perception of the world onto them or positively reinforced this and it has passion just as much as obsession does but the passion is much easier to turn to hatred. I understand how you feel about anger and i use to do the same but since i have been realising it more often i have felt much better. Your right a few people in society are ok but usually they aren't part of society just a passer-by who meets a companion traveller and stop for a cup of coffee. they dont actively participate in society as a blind follower of the crowd. I guess it is unfair to punish people for something that they are unaware of but when they realise what they are doing wrong they then have the chance to change it and if they still hurt you regardless of having been made aware then they deserve to be punished haha Your true it is easier to get on with life and pretend but unless you knew what it was like to live life without pretence you wont be able to decide wether its just better to pretend. hugs x Tally - Thats very true and your 100% right Hi Bid - Wrong , were not sneering at society, were sneering back at society. Its not really the same thing Hey justine, I m glad your life is going well and the sheep i talk about is nt all NT people and it includes some aspies . i just generalized the ignorant and arrogant people who go on living their lifes jumping through social hoops been ignorant and sneering down upon intelect and awareness. If your son has AS or HFA then that still means you could have it do a degree and so could your mother thus eccentricity but even if you dont have it, my rant was not directed at NT's such as yourself as your not a sheep if you think for yourself rather than society thinking for you and thats the distinction i was trying to make not the distinction between aspies and NT's . Matzoball - Here is a moderated oppinion of your unmoderated oppinion on my idea ofm moderation so bid thinks i am speaking for all aspies and was said in another post and now your saying am calling anyone who is nt me a sheep so i in fact think that the problem is nt anything but the fact that you want to take it in an offensive way and as was said earlier on i am entitled to my oppinions and expressions and if you dont like it you simply dont have to read it but maybe if you did read it you would nt thinking i was calling anyone who was not me a sheep thats the ignorance am talking about. at least read the thing before hating me p.s. if it makes you feel better i could comply with Darkshine and call them ants instead and darkshine - "The thing is - even when people do not agree with me - I am listening to what people say, I add it to the balance and decide the merits of the information provided to me, I take into account their opinions and feelings and weigh them against my own, so at least when people disagree they can know that I take their view into account, whether we agree in the end or not " this is totally the way i do things

Pin *because of Rolling pin

Hi Again Baddad, I am not needy at all lol I live my life in solitude without much contact with people and just do my own thing because people only cause me problems or maybe i create problems from been with people either way it is a no win situation. I dont wish to project my feelings onto anyone else and i appreciate people who share their knowledge and experiences with me so i can develop from that. Maybe it is not a unviersal feeling with aspeies but on the following website and others i have read it is listed as a symptom which means i cant be alone in feeling this http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=simple%20aspergers%20symptoms%20wiki&source=web&cd=2&sqi=2&ved=0CCcQFjAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fsimple.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FAsperger_syndrome&ei=lqvKTvjABsSx8gPCo7hp&usg=AFQjCNGmju-T_IrSSjZj67WzdOgHm-bo5w Maybe it is an illusion created in me but there is no prove that the feeling of belonging in this world is not also an illusion maybe they are paradoxal and complimentary. maybe to belong in a place you have to realise what seperation is like. Hello Bid and thank you for your empathy but i am happy with my life too. I just dont feel like i belong here is all To be honest i dont really volunteer i ve never got the time as i have 2 jobs and i study to and ontop f that if i dont study the things i feel passionate about in my spare time it only strengths the feeling of not belonging so i try to do that as much as possible however if anybody asks me for help i will mmore than willingly give it. I think last term i helped 6 people with essays and each of them got good marks on that they would have found harder if i never assisted them because they asked for help. So its not that i am not look outwardly its just that i see nothing nice when i look out and the things i find pleasant i try to keep in my life as much as possible friendships that are not constrived , friends that offer comradery rather than just beeen by my side and then leaving when that rain cloud passes over Hey tally and your right and its not that i dont value my life its just that i dont want or feel i belong here. Haha how do you think that a person that can relate to the smiths needs to seek help haha Thanks Prof that helped True baddad that difference is wide spread but difference varies on different degrees and yes NT people are just as much different than themselves than us but they have a lesser degree of difference between each other and although the interests and similarities of aspies vary greatly too they can relate to each other more because of that whilst as NT's have a harder time at understanding aspies because they have a lesser degree of difference and have a different set of norms , if i made sense there. Thank you clarebear I am sorry to hear tht you have had an unplesant time and i hope things get better for you if they havent already. I understand that you are right and it is time to seek help but too which help i seek depends maybe its not medical maybe its just something theraputic i need like finding a life that i feel happy with, finding a partner i am satisfied to be with. A career that fufills my expectations. Thank you for the advice and i will hold it in contemplation. best regards. X

Hi Baddad, I know That what i think about people cant be sweepingly applied to people but too attempt to learn about people such as relationships and attraction and other stuff is to start to devlop an idea of how people think and to be honest in my eyes there is two types of people and in noway is it a seperation between aspies and Nt's but i always find alot more aspies fall into this catagory and that is that their awake and attempt to realise how people act , how the world acts rather than taking a lazy approach to knowledge and follow suit as you find the majority do, more so nt people because they dont need knowledge when they have social ties. So yes the sheep not only that which has much in common with some aspies and sorry to say this as you will all just say i am been judgemental and arrogant but i must say a majority of NT's aswell as other people who walk around with their eyes shut to the ironies of life do walk and feed for a reason i guess you were right. To nourish and postively reinforce their blind ignorance to the chaos that stalks them in this world. The chaos which is this world and to postively reinforce this a bit like taking the lamb to the slaughter. So i guess your right that sweeping generlisisations could be made by bovine idiots ,like say thinking that i just meant NT's when i was talking about sheep as could been over assumptious on a piece of text be readily percieved as been arrogant and egocentric and selfish be easily assumed to be as such by people bovine idiots cheers Baddad Hi Bid, Which part says i am speaking for everyone with autism. Could you point that out for me? As i just said above bid not all people from the same catagorie fall under the same sub catogory however the disntiction between us and them is not specifically saying aspies and Nt's. Its talking about the people who are awake to whats going on and the people who are asleep thinking life is a field of sunflowers and then they get lost in that field because they never look up too see the rain falling so when they finally find the way of that field and see the emptyness before them they are less prepared for it. In the nicest way possible my friend , i dont want to speak for you. No offence . As i said in my other post why should i feel responsible enough to speak for you when my own responsibility is to speak for myself and hope i find or relate to a few who understand through similarities "Just typing this because I'm bored and my fingers need exercise." good one Kat Baaba Hi Dekra - I never said we are not individual i am just taking a nomothetic outlook on life trying to find the logical laws that must be in place whilst not disregarding the ideographic concept but instead trying to say that ideographical laws can still be present in a nomothetic law so for example to say everyone acts in a similar way is to say their is a universal law that suits everyone and to say that their is sub catogries of different types of people is still nomothetic but then to define the traits and characters of those people that have been defined by a nomothetic law in an ideographic way is still saying that people are individual but under different circumstances develop different traits. Why do you have to defend their right to do so? as i said in a previous post we all speak and are responsible for ourselves so why should we defend other peoples rights when that is just trespassing. Am not having a go at people who walk around half asleep or want to live life in their own way i am only making a distinction filled with personalizations of my own and your right we do all have the right to make our own choice and preference and if walking around half asleep following the crowd is your preference rather than a conditioning of society then do so happily but just because we feel like options make us follow blindly it does nt mean they really do , their is always self help to resolve a situation rather than adhering to the crowd. Hehe i agree with that Darkshine your right. "People, like sheep, tend to follow a leader - occasionally in the right direction." written by Alexander Chase who is a genius. Legend has it he was born in Ottawa, Canada and was raised by wolves. He then rejoined society and became a success. Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who_is_Alexander_Chase#ixzz1eMsqpWzz I think thats where the saying came from

Hi Baddad , How do you think too act without moderation is selfishness when you can still act without moderation and still have a degree of control over been considerate for others? For example, i use to act in moderation when in a social situation. Why because i didn't want to hurt people, Didn't want people to think bad of me and didn't wanna think bad of people. I would be over-courteous and too much restraint over my patience and consideration of others leading to inevitably been used by people. You get washed up in these waves of moderation that you forget what it is like to be free and without restraint. Just because we act without moderation it does not mean we are impolite or act destructively. It is just to be free. When you give that run all you have and you say forget about moderation or body failure because even if my body fails me and my legs become week i will get to this point and suceed. To act in extreme fashions is to inspire the passion and determination that life seeps from you and make your own choices and feel Independent been one with yourself. What makes you condemn all extremities as bad just because all people aren't nice who you met who acts extrmely it does not mean they are all bad. Look at people like martin luther king....Did he not act in extremity to reach his cause? Activists who stop wars and want peace is that not acting extremly or how about those scientists who creat substances that safe lifes because they forgot about moderation and devoted blood sweat and tears into creating these formula's is that not acting in all extremities or that dying patient who wants one last smell of the mountain air and climbs that steep ascent just for the breeze in her face so she can say I am alive, and i have lived and despite times been bad i tried my best.... But hey even saying it was greed, just say to act extremely is greed then what makes you think greed is any more of a social label as say love. Take a look of them both. I guess they both have distinct differences but they have much similarities too, both are thrown into passionate states maybe greed thay only care about themself or that object and love only cares about a person which in psychology in short term attraction we view people as objects. Both are blinded by a cause Both would die for their cause Both can turn inwards from the world they live and create a fantasy world filled with pessimism or optimism for the outside world whilst their internal world just revolves around the object they desire. Greed is just another social label so that we can tear each other apart for been ourselves. A miser...Greed for money, I have much more people who spend money freely hurt me than i have people who lock themselves and their money away from society. I mean greed, lust, love,extreme actions and emotions all of these are filled with passion I guess it becomes easy to forget about people when acting extremely but it does not mean that you hurt people you simply avoid them. Hi Bid, At not one point did i say i was unique. I said i am just trying to be me by doing what i want instead of following labels. So yes i am trying to find my uniqueness because we are all unique. Maybe you dont feel unique but we all are and why do i have to consider other people when they can consider themselves. Of course its not that i hurt them because i just avoid them and avoiding people as you say is not considering people but its not hurting them either. Why cant they consider themselves and their lives too give it more value or passion. I value my life and even though i say i dont in a different post i dont mean just because am not happy living here that i dont value living here but thats another post. So i do value my life and the people who come into it but what relevance is me considering people and things that are not my buisness. So my life is not empty. because to give some thing your all and act in all extremity is only to invoke passion ,love and hate. Maybe people come and go and in the end i have noone but if none desires to stay in my life then thats there choice why should i change myself to fit someoneelse. Maybe the ideology of having a full life filled with social ties and loving families is all just an illusion and in fact all we ever have is ourselves at come point. I guess to readying oneself to not need others is more considerate than considering and leaning on peoples shoulders. They have their own burdens why do they need mine. Yes your right it is about self control and displine and they can be found on either side and are not a constant to moderation but a variable to freedom. Its just how you approach them. Hey Dekra, Thanks I hope you continue to see that and continue your life in ignorance to the truth that life is vindictive , callous and rude and actually i wasn't referring simply to NT, maybe the NT people who share the same similarities as Some Aspies and other people in general life so yes it is a generalization not a specification and actually i was talking about with NT's aswell as others. The type of people who think life is cosy and smug and that everything is fine. No africans are starving no women been abused or men been tortured. No possible reason that we are capable of self extinction or beoming slaves to goverments and instutions that restrict our right to be free and think. Just compare the recent changes . England promoting human rights in other countries but scrapping the bill of rights here. So yeah if you want to continue see life has that sweet smelling rose then so be it , go pick it up and smell it but just remember it has thorns. Sometimes getting cut from them instills that passion to go beyond reason to fill that emptiness. I know life aint no saint and that its not a nice place and too be frank i don't want to be here but i still forget about lazy moderaton and give it my Extreme all so at least i know i lived even if it was in despair. Hey Darkshine - Your right its not AS specific but you see a lot more AS people with it because we have obsessions and we forget about others and retreat to our safe haven to work in passion on our obessions that we extremely admire Whilst as NT's usually are to busy socially interacting to take time out and think about having an obsession yet alone think in an obsessional way. I understand what you say when you say moderation is required for say you want to punch someone and i agree with that very much but maybe if it was kept inside you that anger and dwelled on it would evolve into a more potent type of anger or sucidal thoughts or just simply change the way you think of things, but to not be moderate about that and say channel that rage into a constructive passive agressive outburst not only will you get the point across that your not a push over and that you are independant and can think for yourself but people will give you more respect and it will relieve you of such feelings. I am not really agressive although i think i would be if instead of transforming my anger into a passive agressive way i would be quite agressive but this does not make it moderated because it has been transformed it just makes it expressed in a different manner , a more sensible one I can see what your saying Darkshine and i agree slightly but maybe the anger and the fustration is only there because you go about with moderation and poeple can be fustrating but we keep it locked up inside and slowly life builds a wall of torment and to exorcise this we must offer no restraint and just say life is how it is that way we know the ride we are in for and not have to decorate it with cosy flowers dressed in a shorts and top when we can prepare for what lies a head and be better readied with our winter coat and hat to bear the rain and cold. I guess it would hurt others if others have hurt you but then dont they deserve to be hurt if they have caused you pain. why should you live your life with people hurting you and just take it like you were wearing a bullet proof vest when you can pull your gun out and defend oneself. Their is a difference between abuse and self defense but society wants us to be vunerable and thats why we mistaken the two. Thanks Darkshine (hugs) Indiscreet, I think you have said pretty much how i feel sometimes but you dont have to go around pretending that we have to adapt to fit them because this adaptation that becomes automatic and restricts us is what makes us become miserable and lessens the value of trueness and freedom to oneself. To act without moderation is nt to slaughter or abuse and is nt to overstep the line and affect other peoples choice but instead it is too affect your own choices while you can and think what do i want? Thanks for understanding. Hey Cmuir - You just reminded me of something i learnt in psychology - obedience has two states one is the agentic state where the consciousness only feels responsible to the boss and the job and our consicousness does not act in a normal way and we are taught in this while we are a child where a mother smacks a child for bullying another child shows that they are instilling good ethics in the child but also making the child more susceptible to the will of authorities this is why the natzi's killed the jews. So these expectations are nt really expectations at all but rather explicit demands/implicit demands made from society and yes just like eating doughnuts can effect ones health so can acting without expectations set by others or moderation effect my happiness but speaking freely and been myself will attract someone similar to me rather than finding a face that fits the mask. Like attracts like. I'd prefer to take off the mask and attract someone similar to me and be happy rather than put on the mask and live a life of lies just to life in pretense that it will bring me more happiness. When i can be happy right now even if despair is a cloud that swirls over all skies. Thanks for your replies