fiorelli

Hiya Simon Hope you're well. It has been a long time! To be honest, I feel like have been all take and no give on here lately. I have been throughly floored by L going to high school and the battle that has gone along with it. But now I have done all I can I am totally lost and trying to find a little hope. So, I too, hope that we get the result that we want. After the result comes through, I may come on and talk about it in a bit more detail, as that is the one thing I found difficult in the whole process was there that there was very little in the way of other peoples views/feelings/info as to what happens at tribunal. Fi x

Those who have been to tribunal, did you get any idea/feelings from the panel about what the outcome might have been? How did you cope with the wait between tribunal and finding out the 'verdict'?

Carol - Social Worker???? Core Assessment??? You've got to be joking right???!!! They are like gold dust and two of the things (against many others) that I've been fighting for. I did see that from Carers UK and quoted it in the original request which they seem to have just read the 'Please can I have a carer's assessment' bit and not read the rest. I have had the same old spiel about seeing other worse off than us who are not entitled to anything. Only this time, the guy went as far as to say that they ONLY deal with children who are at extreme risk. hmmm. Sorry Carol, I went off on a bit of a tangent there - not aimed at you. Fi xx

I wondered if you guys can help me. I put in a request for a carers assessment via the LA's adult services website. I recieved a letter yesterday saying that the request had been received and that someone would contact me in due course. Today I called ~Children's services (about a matter un-related to the CA) who said that my request had been passed onto them -via all manner of different departments. I was also told that they did not know what to do with the request as a carers assessment "is for adults who look after adults", and that "whilst as a parent of a child with a disability you are entitled to apply for and recieve carer's allowance, the actual act of caring for the child, even if they have disabilities is classed as within the remit of 'parent'"... Any help? What can I do - Any suggestions? Fi x

Thank you for replying Kazzen, I hope you don't mind, but there are a lot of personal questions in there, I'll pm you the answers?

Thank you both for replying. It was more or less the answer I was expecting. (although hoping not to get iykwim...) LEA have replied to tribunal saying that ASD and ADHD are not educational needs, and as such they will not name them on the statement. And that because each person with these presents differently, they oppose naming them on the statement. They are also opposing the resi school (big surprise - not!) saying that it is a social need rather than an educational one. Bah! I have a huge fight on my hands, esp. as I have heard that my local LEA are re-assessing everyone in resi. school to see if they still need the placement...

Does anyone know how you go about gaining/asking for tri-partite funding for a residential special school? Thanks x

Has anyone had to fill in the new style DLA forms? It is renewal time for my son and I have been given one of these to fill in. Only problem is that I have absolutely no idea where to start!! (It's just typical that I dug out the original forms I filled in 6 years ago in order to copy and amend them onto the renewal form that I thought was going to be the same as last time...) Fi xx

I'm sorry that you seem to be having some problems with your son lately. However, I'm not so sure that the problems you have detailed are all about your Sister in Law. Surely it shouldn't have been up to SIL to say to your son that he couldn't be at the birth of her baby? If he has problems with communication at some level, maybe it should have been worked on/brought up before the point of birth when and how it would be appropriate for your son to see the new baby after it was born? I have to say that for (more than) 2 weeks after my children were born, the last thing on my mind was my nephew and when he wanted to see the baby. If there was such a strong bond between your BIL and your son before, then any 'issues' in their relationship should have been addressed earlier. As your son is 18, he is legalled classed as having the mental capacity to make his own decisions and choices - even if they are the wrong ones. From what you have written, your son made the choice to drink to excess. Your son made the choice to send text messages whilst in hospital to 'see if anyone cared', and chose not to send one to you (maybe because he already knew the answer to the question in that case was a big fat 'yes'?!). These may have been the 'wrong' choices, or 'bad' choices - however they were his, and his to make. Use them as a learning tool with him. I do however, agree with you that the reply from your SIL was innappropriate. I think asking about girlfriends is a perfectly normal thing to ask an 18 year old (I do it to my 12 year old - and even my 8 yr old!), and it can only be a good thing that he was looking at ways to open up conversation (in my view anyway!). I questioned how much lodge my sister used to have to pay our mum. There were many reasons for this: because of how much my sister earned, I didn't want her being taken for granted, I didn't want her to think life is a free ride etc. etc. etc, I don't know your son's situation, but by the sounds of it, he doesn't work. For someone not in employment, £50 a month is a lot of money. Maybe your SIL thought this too, and wondered why your son had to pay so much, and said what she did out of concern for him? I don't know. I'm not there. These are only my views on the situation as you have discribed it. But I really don't think that your SIL is entirely to blame, and I certainly don't think that 3 times in a year is something to get fed up over.

Kazzen, no it's not a mainstream school - it's a special school for MLD.

I have just received a letter from the LEA... However - I HAVE NOT received a final amended statement of SEN that names a school yet! Does anyone know if this a 'standard' thing to do or not? (and what I need to do about it - esp. as this school is only going to be a VERY last resort!!) Thanks xx

sorry, just tried to delete this topic, but found we no longer have that option. Basically, I have just been reading through all of my old PM's and found one from the lovely Phasmid that answered my question, and a few more that have cropped up again. (I know you can't read this, but) Thank you Phasmid, your support, was - and is really useful! x

Does anyone know if you HAVE to meet with the LEA if you have concerns with the proposed statement, or can you just write it all in a letter? Thanks x

Hiya, was wondering if anyone here has any knowledge of statements and is willing to look through one with me. thanks.x

hi JsMum, he had high dest scores back in yr r, but have not been able to get an ed psych to assess him properly, and cannot afford to go private. I suspect he might be though

Thanks for replying and sorry I haven't been able to get back on sooner. I can't see that my son has made much, if any progress academically and I have brought it up on many occasions, only to be shot down in flames with 'he is making progress/he is on track' etc, and IEP's are a very sore subject (I'm sure if you search for my posts you'll get the general idea!), I think I was more laughing at the fact that they put about walking quietly around the school above other (academic) things! My son is currently in a residential special school (BESD - LA run). About the only thing we can agree on is that he is behaving in school, but that he is hiding a lot of "stuff" from school. School feel L has MLD, however, Ed Psych hasn't mentioned it, and his CAMHS psych doesn't seem to think he has - so who knows! As for new school, again who knows! I think I have it short-listed to 2, however, I need to visit the others in order to be able to discount them fully.

Well, it is L's yr 6 review of his statement in a couple of weeks. I have just recieved copies of his latest IEP and NC levels. If I didn't laugh, I'd cry. IEP: Focus on thetask in hand. Move about the school without singin loudly My work makes sense with a beginning, middle and end. Add several small number pairs totalling 9, 10 or 11 NC Levels... English Reading - yr 3: 2c, yr 4: 2c, yr 5: 2c/b year 6 expectation 3 English Writing - yr 3: 1c, yr 4: 1c, yr 5: 1c year 6 expectation 2 spelling Test - yr 3: (autumn) 6.0 (summer) 6.9 yr 4: (a) 6.7 (s) 7.0 Yr 5: (a) no level marked (s) 6.9 Maths - yr 3: 2c, yr 4: 2b, yr 5: 2b year 6 expectation 3 Not long ago, we were being assured that L would make NC Level 4 in all his subjects. Despite me telling/querying with them about the fact we feel L hasn't been progressing, they have always assured us he is. I will be so glad to see the back of this school. The only good thing about them is that they are backing us (at the moment!) in the type of school we will need for L.

The Highway code (no. 219) says this: (note that is my bold on the quote) taken from the Highways Code 2007 http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/TravelAndTrans...ycode/DG_069858 Basically, you did the right thing, and the ambulance was in the wrong for getting frustrated with you and flashing his lights. (Although I can understand why they may have been frustrated - it doesn't make it right - it could have ended in them dealing with an entirely different incident...) xxx

I just wondered when everyone recieves their child's end of year reports? Yet again, we are at the last day of term and we have no report. I bet any money it will turn up on my doorstep tomorrow morning.

Thanks kazzen.

When visiting a prospective school, would you take along any reports you have on your child? And if so, which would you say are the more 'important' ones to take along? Thanks. Fi xx

frogslegs, no he doesn't speak to his 'father' on the phone - L rarely uses the phone anyway, and if he can get away without using it, he will do! This is just typical of his 'father' he will go for at least 6 months with no contact, then suddenly he's been trying to contact us and can't get through, will see L for a weekend or 2, then nothing.

Had some problems with L this weekend just gone. He had been absolutely adamant that he was seeing his 'father' this weekend, going into great detail in school to teachers/friends about what the plans were/what he was going to be doing. 8.00pm Friday night, and he realised that 'father' wasn't coming for him. We knew that 'father' had said that he wouldn't be seeing him until the summer at least, and talked to him about that, as did school. School also discussed with him about various scenarios that may have happened, and worked through some coping strategies. Several times over the weekend, we have had one very distressed/anxious/annoyed/confused L. He has been crying, screaming, shouting, in amongst talking absolute gibberish. He has been getting all his 'problems' mixed up - he'll be talking about one thing and giving details for another. He has been upset about 'lies' he said he has told - when in fact, he hasn't told any lies these things actually happened. We ended up with a completely broken bedroom door, where he kicked it so much that it has fallen to pieces, and has great big holes in it. (We discussed this with him when he was calm the next day, and he is to do some chores in order to earn some money to help replace the door. Not talking lots, just a couple of chores for a few weeks in order for him to earn a £1 or 2, of which he will need to give up 40/50p, just so he - hopefully - will realise that there are consequences to his actions, no matter how distressed he is. The more I think about it now, the more upset I get for him. I didn't know how to help him. I don't know how to help him. I can see where the weekend started and why, but I was powerless to prevent it.

Thanks again for your help with this all. I wanted to give you a little update. My portfolio is finished, and I have my on-line exam on Monday. The leaflets I made up, and my (5 minute) presentation on ASDs was well recieved. - Well nobody was asleep by the end of it, and I had plenty of questions afterwards, so I think I did an ok job. I am awaiting the written feedback from my tutor, but she verbally said I did very well, and that my slides were very informative and brilliant for the guy down the street who knows nothing. (well, I think that was a compliment anyway!)

If she doesn't want to pay rent, then she doesn't want to keep any belongings at your house, doesn't want you to provide any of her meals, doesn't want you to provide sky in her room anymore and certainly doesn't want to have baths at your house? She's 21, not 12 - she needs to realise that.