fiorelli

Louis has to run out and SHUT the gate before I can go through it. He likes doing the 'karate' moves along with the 'ha - ha - ha' noises to go with it. He prefers to run rather than walk (although his run isn't fast, so not too bad) Makes constant 'siren' noises when we are out (and most of the time when we are in too!)

As some of you may (or may not) know, Louis has been excluded from school until the end of term. (main stream school, that cannot cope with his special needs) After some pushing from the headteacher, the LEA decided he could go to respite education part-time in September. Now, both school, and myself were under the impression that this respite was the only education he was going to be getting - but Oh, No - we found out that he has to go to school FULL TIME, and to this respite place a couple of sessions a week, and that it wouldn't be permanent. A couple of days ago, the headteacher came to me, and said that under the advice of the ed. pshyc, in September, Louis would be able to go to school full time, but that he would need to be educated seperately from everyone else. When I was first told this, I though 'not a problem, he is going to get his one-to-one', and left it at that. Today however, I have just had a phonecall from the respite unit who have said that Louis is to go to them for 4 sessions a week (each session lasting 1 1/2 hours) for 6 weeks. and that there is only going to be 1 other child in with Louis. They also mentioned that the headteacher wasn't sure about the seperate education because of the legalities of it. This has sent alarm bells ringing, and I am not at all sure about what the hell is going on. On one hand, I am happy for him to be educated seperately from the rest of the school/class because it means he gets the one-to-one. But on the other hand I am not because, he will be socially excluded from the rest of the class except at playtime (I have been told to pick him up at lunch-times), he will not be able to take part in class projects, he will not be able to even attempt doing any sort of team work. He will not have any continuity of care (the headteacher is not sure who will teach him - it will more than likely be anyone who has a few minutes to spare), He will not be able to try and build up any form of friendship with the children in his new class.... Oh, and this unit he needs to go to I either have to drive him there, or get on two busses, OR They will put on a taxi (which I have asked them to do) but the best bit.......They don't want to give him an escort - they asked me if I wanted one (something about they may not have the budget/might not be allowed one) - Of Course I ###### want an escort for my SIX YEAR OLD SON - I am not having him getting in any old ###### taxi without anyone with him!!!!!!! Certainly not in this day and age!!!

I know where you are coming from. My son is like this. We, unfortunately, have to be VERY careful about mentioning germs, as my son started to develop an OCD about washing his hands because of germs after they had a lesson in school about germs. We just say now, that he must put his hand over his mouth so as nobody else will catch his sneeze/cough etc. It doesn't work all the time, but he is starting to remember. We just need to work on the eating with mouth closed now...

dope - yep, I've heard of them

cahms? - I've heard that mentioned, but not sure what it is (think it's been mentioned in school?)...Anyway, get everyone, and anyone you can to speak to the school. We have a great school nurse who is really 'up' on her ASD/Aspergers/ADHD/Communication Problems stuff, and so was really good in getting the school to understand and help.

Yes, my son definately shows SOME traits of Aspergers, especially in the communication side. He doesn't understand people/situations. He speaks in a very monotonous tone, and often 'goes of on a tangent', not realising that others aren't interested, or have gotten bored of the subject. He has very little imagination - dispite the many toys we have bought him, he can't/won't play with them. He has very few friends, because they don't understand him and vice versa, and because he can't have everything his way. He hates places where there are too many people, and will get very agitated. He is treated as if he has Aspergers insofar as we use PECS to help him plan his days. He has a lot of one-to-one help in school to help him with situations he can't deal with. ummm, I am sure there is more, but I just can't think - argh!!! Oh, he also goes to a 'nurture ggroup' in school to help him with his communication skills. I am sorry to hear the school aren't being very helpful. I suppose we one of the lucky ones, as sons school is VERY supportive, I am often to be found in the headteachers office/classroom/resources room getting help/advice - or even on occassion, giving THEM help and advice. Good luck - any more questions, give us a shout!

sorry about how long it has taken to get back to you. DAMP is a term that was coined in Scandanavia for children with a mix of 'problems' that weren't specific to ADHD/Aspergers, but was a mix. In this country, it is more widely known as ADHD with Co Morbid DCD (Developmental Co-ordination Disorder). This is where the problem is lies. The scandanavian countried are now refering to DAMP as ADHD with CoMorbid DCD, and we are now referring to it as DAMP. Unless you scan speek in a nordic language, you will be hard pressed to find out much. A few sites I have found are: http://www.chw.edu.au/parents/factsheets/dampj.htm http://www.cafamily.org.uk/Direct/a81.html My son is VERY active, (can't sit still unless he is watching the t.v. when he is controlling it), he can't hold his attention to anything for more than a couple of minutes - unless he is in control. He can be violent - often for no apparent reason. He has great difficulties with his motor control - both fine and gross (he has great difficulty writing/drawing, and his running is very stilted and slow compared to others his age). He also has HUGE problems with how he understands things. He cannot read facial expressions, and cannot read a 'tone of voice'. He cannot cope with anyone touching him (to cross a road, we have to have our hands sort of hovering over each others). He hates town/classroom - anywhere where there are loud noises/lots of people. He often makes very loud siren noises with his hands covering his ears so as to block everything out. He runs away from a situation he can't handle, his swearing..ARGH!!!..... I could go on, but I might not finish! basically, there is just too much, over too many 'spectrums' to just be as simple as 'ADHD', or 'Aspergers', or 'Developmental Co-ordination Delay' - or even anything else. Hence why the DAMP dx. I probably haven't answered any of your questions, if not, sorry - let me know, and I'll try to help some more. Look at them sites, and see what you think. Luv June xx

My Son has DAMP - can I help with anything?

the school have developed a 'Nook' where he can go for time out if he feels he needs it. There he has a tape player with headphones that he can listen to (he likes that). They are also developing a room where he can go for time out, and he is away from everyone else, and he knows he is safe, and so do the school.

and got excluded until the end of term... Apparently they were doing a subject (Louis says it was handwriting, teacher thinks it was something else), and Louis said "everyone was telling me how to do it, but I already know", so he got upset and wanted to "go and count the lego". But the teacher/classroom assistant wanted him to this subject. So Louis got very upset, and went into meltdown, throwing things, hitting out, shouting etc. when they managed to get him out of the classroom he proceeded to trash the library. No I understand that he shouldn't have trashed the library (the main reason he was excluded) BUT: The classroom assistant should have realised he was getting upset They could have said to him '2 minutes counting lego, then back to the subject' (His IEP states that they are working on him doing things on teachers terms rather than on his own terms) Also - Louis has never shown this wanting to 'count' things at home, so it is something new to me - is it a normal behaviour for those with Aspergers/ADHD or no?

Thanks all, you've been a help.

well, I have changed my mind (again ) - school have now finished writing their application, and have given it to me to look through and change any bits I want changed, and add any bits I want added, and also to write a bit in their myself. They have also got a report and signature from the Behaviour Intervention Team, and the Educational Pshycologist. The Peadiatrician is also going to write a report, and I need to get a report from the Opthamologist, and the ENT Specialist and get them to agree to sign the statement (the ENT should agree as son has hearing loss in his right ear). EOTAS are also involved and will be doing assessments in September. All in all, I think that to change what is happening at the moment would probably be a bad thing. so am going to stick with what is happening for the time being, and hopefully all will turn out good.

Do you need to have a statement in place for your child to get into a special school?

After son being excluded until the end of term today, I have decided that I will put in an application myself rather than wait for the school to get their butts in gear. So, my question is - What do I put in my application? Does anyone have a sample application I can look at?

not sure if this is in the right place - but here goes... Does anyone else's kids who have a dx of any sort, constantly eat? My sons' daily intake of food goes along these lines: Breakfast - 2 Weetabix with semi-skimmed milk - no sugar Yoghurt Piece of fruit when he gets to school he will say he is hungry, and usually says he hasn't had any breakfast so gets someething to eat there (a cereal of some sort) 11.00am - fruit with the rest of class 12.00 - 2 extra pieces of fruit he has managed to blag from school Lunch sandwich (4 slices of bread) crisps fruit yoghurt or 2 toast with egg and beans fruit snack - again, fruit/crisps (only ever has one packet of crisps in any one day) Dinner - spaghetti bolognaise (full adult size portion)/chicken pasta and salad pudding of some sort Bearing in mind that my son is only 6, and he is eating full ADULT size meals, and still asks for more - and eats it - if it is given - and he usually asks for a lot more during the day. He is not fat by any means - he is very tall for his age, and his weight is very in proportion to his height (I would be the first to say if it wasn't! http://groups.msn.com/HitchedPhotoAlbumMk-...o&PhotoID=13717 - son is the boy stood in front of adult bridesmaid - he is a couple of inches taller now - photo taken last august) Is it just my son - and is it something to worry about?

http://www.channel4.com/bigbrother/news/newsstory.jsp?id=820 hmmm, some 'typical' behaviours being reported in the above - I;ll leave you to make your own opinions. hope he can cope in there.

That's ok Carole. At the moment, I must admit, that I would rather let him have the control of the tv, because as you pointed out - at the moment, that is probably the only thing he feels he has control over - how heartless would I be to take that security away from him? Unfortunately, between myself and the school, we have decided that sicknotes/holiday until the end of the term will be a very last resort, as we are VERY concerned about how he would go back in september if he was to have nearly 3 months off. - It is bad enough after a weeks half term break!

Carole, Louis is 6 (will be 7 in September, and is the size of a 9 year old!) believe me, we have tried to take the control of the tv away from him - at one point we managed, but he has gone downhill an awful lot recently, and the tv is the only way he is calm - so as the saying goes - better the devil you know... I am totally with you on the fact that too much tv is bad for the kids, and I get annoyed with myself for 'allowing' him to watch as much as he does. He used to have a tv in his bedroom, but we have put our foot down and refused him another one, as he used to unplug it all, and move it all around the house - Video player and all! - he eventually blew it up by pouring water into it (luckily it wasn't plugged in!) It is comforting to know that other children have a fear of dogs. It's a shame though, as they can be such good companions.

Seriously! We can't get anywhere near the thing! We have to watch and listen to little snippits of different programs ranging from kids tv to teenager tv to car chase programs to shopping channels - NO music channels though - he doesn't like them If we even try and suggest a different channel he goes absolutely mental! If we turn the tv off - again he goes ape! and Woe betide anyone who suggests he goes and plays or does a little homework! Anyone got any ideas? Also, he has developed a fear of dogs - he is alright with the little pups (as long as they are in someone's arms and quite) - but any other sign of a dog and he is . I have even had him run out into the middle of a road just to get away from a dog before (luckily there was nothing coming!) I have tried telling him that the dogs aren't interested in him as he doesn't smell like dog food. Have tried showing him that they are ok, by me stroking them etc. but nothing - if anything it is getting worse!

myself and the school and the educational pshycologist are all of the opinion that Louis would be better off in a setting where the classes are smaller, and the staff trained to help Louis - eg. special schoolare. In fact, the EP is of the opinion that Louis should only have schooling for 1 HOUR a day for the time being, as he just cannot cope. With regards to all those who have mentioned eyeQ - louis is on them (when we can get him to take it!) we started it a couple of weeks ago, so have a long way to go before we see any changes.

Thanks for replying guys! We already have a diagnosis - He saw the peadiatrician in September 2004, and was diagnosed with the DAMP (deficit of attention, motor control and perception), social communication problems and possible aspergers (which was due to be re-assessed next year). But because he has gone downhill so quickly over the last 6 months, it was felt he needs to go back and see the pead. and hopefully get medication of some sorts, or see a clinical pshycologist rather than the ed. pshyc. Bit of an update since I posted this morning. The LEA have said that Louis can go into respite education (so he goes to a special needs unit instead of his school) or a little while to make it easier for the school, so they don't have to exclude him. If he can get through the next 4 weeks without being excluded again, he cannot be permanently excluded before september - and even then, he will have his 30 half day fixed term exclusions to use up. So hopefully all this will buy us enough time to get a statement going through.

chest. Feel bad for writing such a long and involved post as my first post - Sorry Where to start? Well, my eldest son, Louis, has always been a 'bit of a handful'. For a long time, I put this down to us having a couple of unsettled years while I split up with his (and middle son's) father, and moved away. It is hard to say exactly what was wrong, but he was a lot more 'work' than my younger two sons, and was always quite violent (would bite people, hit, kick etc). He went to playgroup, but would always scream when he was left there, we put this down to him not liking it, and were glad that he was going to nursery soon. He seemed to settle in well at nursery, but was a bit below the standard that was expected (in terms of drawing etc.) for a child of his age. Then we had to move (as we were renting - I had met someone not long after moving away originally - we got 'priced out' of the area). But, Crikey, did I have a bad time then, I didn't like to leave the house for fear that the neighbours were talking about how much Louis was screaming and crying, and how much I was shouting at him. He got settled into a new pre-school, and seemed to settle well in the beginning. Then the biting started again. Of his friends. (he had never bitten friends before), and again, didn't seem to be up to the 'standard' that everyone else was with regards to early writing, and drawing. Even play was very stilted. I lost count of the times, that when the Health Visitor came around (I had a young baby at that time), she asked if Louis's attention seeking was because she was there, and I always answered 'yes'. I just felt so bad that I couldn't control my son, when my younger two were really good and happy, and a lot 'easier'. Well, he went on to school. I think within the first couple of weeks, I had already been called into school about his behaviour. We started trying the sticker charts, reward systems, time-outs, naughty stair, shouting, even smacking a couple of times (which I feel REALLY bad about) (in fact, some of these we had been using near enough from the word go). I had to fill in a medical form for Louis, at the beginning of school, on it I was asked if I had any concerns about certain things (speech being one), and I said yes, so the school nurse flagged it up, found out what had been happening, and that I have siblings with learning difficulties. She arranged for us to see a peadiatrician at the hospital to see if there was anything medically wrong with him, so he underwent a barrage of tests - eyes, ears, nose, speech, etc. He was diagnosed with DAMP (deficit of attention, motor control and perception), and Social Communication Problems, and possible Aspergers. Roll on to this year, things have got so bad. He has lost all concentration. Everything he does, has got to be on his terms - but as you know, a child can not always live life on his terms - life just isn't like that. When he can't get his way, he 'goes into one', shouting, screaming, crying, throwing things, hitting things etc. only last week, he was sent home from school, as his class mates had to be taken out of the room, and there was a teacher at each door, with Louis in the middle with things flying over his head. We are desperately trying to get him seen by the peadiatrician again, but the waiting list is SOO long (possibly being seen end of August/beginning of September), and even then, there probably isn't anything they can do. (medication has been mentioned, but it seems as if no-one around here can prescribe it). We have had to see the ENT specialist again, and it turns out he has a mild hearing loss. We are due to go back in two weeks and see the eye doctor. It is just a nightmare, the school have sent him home again today, as within 10 minutes of registration, he had wandered out of the classroom, and was refusing to do anything. The headteacher spoke to me, and has said he has all but used up his 'allocation' of fixed time exclusions - next time it will be a permanent exclusion - she does not want this, and has said she will do everything she can to prevent it - even if it means that Louis has to have 2 weeks holiday and 2 weeks sick leave to get him to the end of term (this is so as we can get a statement application up and running). The headteacher has admitted to me on more than one occasion that they cannot cope with him there. Yesterday, she said 'He is not learning anything - we are just babysitting him'. now we are a stale-mate - we are waiting on appointments to come through and the LEA to decide what to do. It is just so frustrating not knowing, and not being able to help my son, who is very upset and confused at what is happening to him at the moment. fiorelli xx Sorry this turned out so long