MARGOT10

baddad,I thin thay was your screen name.Iam so sorry you are having such a hard time.I have got to say that we only got reffered as my daughter was badly bullied,came hme with a bruise of a whole foot print on her leg.I had d in a school that came top of the league tables in the midlands.So therefore her learning and behavior problems that I kept asking about were ignored as was the bullying.I moved her school in what some may say is considered a deprived area.The school have said yes she is behind,yes she has difficulty with social skills and yes we think there is cause for concern. My d now has a learning mentor who checks on her progress,the big and little children are in seperate playgrounds but if my d is on her own at playtime the school allow eldest to go into her.Also If d is overwhelmed in class eldest is bought into the classroom to settle her.I know this is not ideal but until other stratagies are put into place it works for now. What iam trying to say is that I find the better or more reputable the area you live or send kids to school,the less proffessionals seem to acknowledge what you are saying.Academicly the school is not as high as the one before but I dont want a rocket scientist i want acknowledgement of my concerns and a smile on my d face.And it has taken two and half years to get her to assessment.

I have got to say the help I am getting for my daughter is wonderful.She has a social worker who I can call anytime and always calls back,she has a play therapist.I have told them the problems I struggle with and they are going to arrange help for me.The social worker is going to arrange a meeting with the school to arrange behavior management interventions in school and to discuss all my concerns and the difficulties she has.So far so good I have told them what I WANT AND GOT IT.

My ex hubby father of my daughter Iam convinced is autistic.He was quite violent but not with an apology he would rationalise the behavior the same way as my daughter does hers.He was obsessional over his mobile would cry if you touched it,took everything literally.Absolutely convinced that my daughter has inherited his problems.

My daughter starts play sessions tomorrow with a lady who specalises in autism.should i assume that seeing these play therapies are starting before the final assessment that they are pretty sure what they are dealing with.I have known there was something that I could not put my finger on wrong since she was a baby.I love my daughter very much and I know this is proberbly wrong,but even more since assessments as she finds friendships so hard and cannot understand so much that I sometimes want to wrap myself around her.

Hi,iam new here and wanted some advice. my daughter has been having trouble with social interactions,repetative play and whole host of other concerns since nursery.Her teacher at nursery was also the school senco and we believed my daughter was showing signs of autism.After one appointment i was told that I was understimulating her and left to it.We are now two years on daughter has not moved on socialy has poor social skills,few friends,is below average at school,cannot carry a conversation ect. To cut a long story short my daughter was reffered to a socail worker at camhs because of bullying.They arried out school observation ask the teachers of her behavior,ask her previous school of her behavior I had moved her because of the bullying.School reports were awful her social interactions were terrible,she could not follow teachers instructions and the woman sent to observe her said that in her opinion my daughter would not be able to work unassisted.The social worker has stated that in his opinion my daughter is on the spectrum and is setting up a ADI or 3Di assessment he stated he would not be doing this if he was not sure that ths is the difficulty. How many of you have a person other than specialist refer you,are these people normally right,and can I now start addressing my daughters behavior as part of autsm and looking for ways to combat for ex time, social,repetativness.In short is it safe to say that these people are normally right and I now know what the problem is.We cannot get this last assessment until november can I still ask for help in school as she hates it.

Hi,we are in the same situation my daughters has been seeing a social worker for problems with her social skills and some bullying she endured.The social worker has now arranged for a 3di assessment to be done as he said in his proffessional opinion my daughter is on the spectrum as she has many of the traits.The only problem is he cant get it done until november which means my daughter will go back to school with no help. I know this sounds terrible but there are some and I have met them who like getting the attention because of the difficulties they have with their child,and is it possible your friend might be annoyed that you are in the same boat.I do know this sounds awful and apologise if anybody is offended but there are people who want the world to believe they suffer more than you.I know you and I and all on here do not want our child to have it any harder than any other,but some like the attention it brings.Try and put some space between you and friend if you are anything like me you are having times when you keep crying and others when you think no my child looks so normal until they do something.Iam fnding thngs confusing,frightening,and also releaved.It must be very hurtful for you.

Emma,my daughter cries saying she has no friends but it is because she does not treat them well is dominant and very self involved,my daughter cannot talk out of her line of interest.eveything is about her what she can get and how it effects her. my daughter is very cuddly and affectionate and wants to have friends and in her own way loves them as long as they do as she says and if they dont to her they are being horrible,actually that applies to me ,her dad and her sister.She is very verbal but talks at you and does not talk to you. As I said if you feel there is a problem there proberbly is.Trust your instinct and talk to gp.Wishing you love as i know how worried and frustrated you must be right now.

Emma,Iam new and not as knowledgeable as other mums here.What you said and your mother said about maddie being differant is exactly what I and my mother said about my 5 yr old girl.she has had diffulculty with friendships which has not improved with time,very sensative with sounds, long list. My daughter is on the spectrum,the educational assessor came to her nursery when she was 3 and said I was under stimulating her,she is five now and when I told them something I could not put my finger on was wrong IT WAS.Trust your gut feeling you are her mum and nobody knows her like you.A mothers instinct is stronger than I think any of us realise.Like your daughter mine cannot read is behind at school and shows little interest in learning although loves being read to.Trust what you feel.

Brook,thankyou bobbie does say to people are you going home now if they visit,she will say when she has had enough of friends.I have been thinking all afternoon bobbie goes into year one when she returns to school.She was talking this afternoon we call it waffling,she seems to just pick a subject out the air and talk.She said nobody in her class wants to play with her and she did not know why cos she wants to be friends.I think Iam going to give her six months and if i dont feel she is thriving in school I will home school her. like you and hubby I will be quite happy if she learns enough to live,she is struggling so much with friendship building that I think it would be cruel to keep that sort of pressure of her the fear in her face some mornings when she does not want to go is something that neither her or nor I can keep facing.Thankyou all for being so kind and supporting.

Carole your a darlin.sensory things have always been a problem with bobbie since she was 6mth old she would physicly shake almost fit like at loud noises.She now comments alot on a boy in her class who talks to loud and they cant do their work and also that a friends voice makes her head hurt and feel sick and I have to tell friend to go home.puppets,bangs,shouting,fireworks,people in costume ,fairs,bobbie doesnt like them. Bobbie does have a social worker I told him about the incident with kidnapping,he asked if she was just being naughty.The anser is yes and no,bobbie wants what she wants and nothing outside of it.He gave very little help or advice.Iam sure I will get there when I can get my head straight enough to know where iam going.At the moment I keep looking at her and thinking I dont know how to help you.I feel useless like I should be doing something,or somebody needs to do something.Is this normal,i have known she was differant since she was born,i told the doctors,health visitor.but now they know I feel scared.Iam so sorry for going on,hubby thinks its something that will get better and no big deal.but i feel its huge.Carole from the bottom of my heart thankyou for responding and i totally believe the best advice I can on my daughter is from somebody in the same boat as myself.

cAROLE AND BROOK. yOUR ADVICE WAS WONDERFUL.And i agree totally with what you said about a child having to learn things that they do not fully understand yet.I found it funny because my daughters teacher said that my daughter had alot of trouble with maths,my first thought was for goodness sake she is five.They also said she still has an immature pincer grip,is unable to use scissors.Iam however worried because she does not like school,she has bad social skills and the other children run away from her.I have to give the other children credit though cos my daughter has said to children go away your shoes are begusting as she says it. I thought that if I could help get her academics up abit she may not feel so set aside.brook I would love to home school bobbie Iam scared stiff as school goes back soon,and I keep crying because I dont want to send her back.Dont get me wrong her school is good,we have just moved her school as she was bullied so bad that the police attended the school twice bear in mind the kids are five.That school was meant to be a very school in wealthy area but it had the not at our school attitude.She now attends a school in what some may consider a deprived area.but it has learning mentors,parent support worker,pay ground pals.I know I have to send her back as her social skills are so poor. I think what I worry most about is not her academics to me they have never been that important in either of children.I just want them to be happy and at peace with themselfs.Bobbie cannot articulate her feelings so I have no idea exactly how she feels.Your advice was wonderful I feel like iam flying blind and dont know where to start.

I am very sorry this happened to your son,but i bet the lad who did it was scared stiff.This sounds so stupid but the other day my daughter was playing in front of my house.My daughter will only play dress up so always in some odd outfit or another and never has shoes on right feet.some 12yr old girl was shouting at my eldest your sisters a tramp and cant even put her shoes on right.I went up to her and with tears of anger streaming down my face reared almighty into her.I know i over reacted but dx recent i flew.At the moment I feel very protective all my little one said is mummy i look pretty dont I.

Hi,I just need some tips on how a child with asd learns the best.My five year ols is very behind according to teachers.I find it hard how a five year old can be behind,buts thats a differant topic.she does not know her A B C s,and although can identify numbers and letters in front of her she struggles just chanting them.It is also hard to hold daughters attention when trying to explain bad behavior as she is very self involved. My daughter kisnapped her friend ,the friend called round with an elder she was playing with.Bobbie decided that friend needed to stay and play with her.she pulled her into the house closed and locked the door and it was when friend started shouting she opened the door.she then ran after her to pull her back.friend sais she did not want to be friends bobbie came into garden hit us with a padded baseball bat and when i took it of her she ran into the house locked the back door with keys that are kept in lock and would not let us in.luckily hubby finished work early so we unlocked door.I could not get through to her all she kept saying was but mummy I wanted friend to play with me. So how do you all discipline your child or explain behavior.In the shop today she shouts out that boy looks like a sucker cos he has a funny face,time and time i try and it doesnt get through.what do you all suggest.

You just hit the nail on the head why i dont want to send daughter back to school.My daughter can be nasty the kids at school run away from her.my daughter is only five so maybe her behavior is not condemed so much yet cos of her age.I got to say as much as love my child i can understand to why children and adults dont want to be around her.Iam sorry i cant say much to help but i 100per cent understand what you are saying.Iam not getting any help or guidence on how to improve daughters social skills and i cant get through to her,iam scared for her.with love and a hug cos i understand.

Hi we live an area where the kids play out,my youngest is autistic and not very socially aware as in what you say and dont say she will also repeat what she has heard.I got the kids together they all play by my house and explained my daughter has something wrong with her and that she may say horrible things and that if she did come and tell me and i will discipline her.the kids have been good with her and ignore the bad,but look out for her as well. I do belive that most parents raise their kids to be aware that we are not all the same and sometimes you have to make allowences.when the kids know rather than condem your child they will look out.my daughter is quite physical and invades space.but so far so good the kids have been fine.Our children do need the freedom and experiances of all other children,I know how you feel I dont want to send my daughter back to school cos she is not accepted by the children there.