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Mumble - the issue is bad as i said! just don't want another problem on top of one i already have that's all! lisa - thanks for your quick reply yeah i know blood pressure can be side effect as doc checked my blood pressure before started this pill! and got to go back and have blood pressure reviewed in 3 months! XKLX

@ lisa - when u was on this type of pill did it make you put on ANY weight with fluid retention? XKLX

cutlery find hard /difficult to have skills to ride a bike i would investigate the possibility of dyspraxia. i have tried to attempt suicide myself by ODing on tabs and i on and off harm myself ( self-harm - cutting) so i can empathise with your son and the thoughts of wanting life over ALOT! XKLX

i have today been prescribed logynon contraceptive pill hoping to see if this makes my period less heavy and easier to manage /cope/deal with each month rather than dreading and making me feel so yukky awful and rough with it! hoping it stablalises my moods too as everywhere when time of month even worse the doc told me the blood (hormone) tests all came back normal levels so just wondering if it just plain stress worrying causing me feel dizzy tired no energy alot of time! still puzzled mystery still out there not solved but just putting down to depression/anxiety playing up maybe! i got to go back in three months see if it is working and to check blood pressure as risk of side effect of high blood pressure though he checked mine today and was normal fine! and i asked about weight gain and he said i could possibly experience fluid retention but not FAT gain! so that reassures me great deal more! if i told my doctor i'm having suicidal thoughts/feelings ? would this have to go any further or this that confidential? plucking up the courage tell him today having panic attack over telling him couldn't breathe heart beating real fast scared afraid! don't know if it is cause time of month or if it depression too? confusing on where i stand here all i know is don't feel in good place mentally at the moment! just fingers crossed it works for the good now! has anyone had success with this contraceptive pill at all ? as know there's loads different types out there? XKLX

maybe an ASD specialist pyschologist to talk through mental health issues such as depression but also built up frustration and anger to work through in steps and stages how and why this affects him!? i would look into this possibilty! has medication been discussed in the docs help ease his depressive thoughts/feelings? (suicidal)wanting be dead maybe medication for anxiety could ease things too? have anyone like docs mentioned CAMHS ( child ,Adolescent,Mental Health Service) as this is team which could help provide service of working through MH issues such as depression ,anxiety with clients with complex difficulties such as AS!? not being able to open packet or put his own socks on does he have gross/fine motor difficulties? is is he clumsy, forgetful is handwriting large? - has co morbid condition to Dyspraxia been looked into? as this can go alongside AS and is very similiar close in alot of signs too so hard to spot the difference between each one! hope this information helps in some way anyway! XKLX

i was agorphobic before being officially assessed or diagnosed with AS which is why mum took me to docs as wouldn't leave the house without parents was scared to was having panic attacks is your son depressed too? if spends his time in bed and is 'unhappy'? have you thought of meds for anxiety disorders? may help him take the anxiety edge of the situation? does he have an support worker or social worker? XKLX

nah haven't talked to my sis about this but she said she don't want me to lose too much weight! she mentioned it in convo! XKLX

i ain't going overboard with dieting i ain't doing enough!i enjoy taking my own measures though! if gets me SKINNY THIN!!! XKLX

i can relate to this emptiness/void feeling inside i have felt exactly same since same age 14! and felt very annoyed frustrated with myself and nothing seems to get close to filling step towards the 'void' yeah does hurt not knowing exactly the 'missing part' of the jigsaw!!! can't find reason/explanation! XKLX

my sister on my 21st birthday party asked me if like /mind being her bridemaid for her in oct 12th 2013 now all that running through my mind is getting in shape getting rid of excess weight and looking right for her BIG wedding day! XKLX

i really don't want to admit this to my doc that i've reached this breaking point! XKLX

don't know if it's time to consider anti-depressants medication ... struggling to cope/manage with intrusive paranoid obsessive thoughts feel fed up exhaused dizzy tired weak keep wanting over eat feel fed up frustrated everything piling on top of me overwhelming me feel like what's in the point in anything? feel like have no purpose to my life? hardly ever had stable routine /mood can't work out which direction i should be heading!? i feel such a confusing wreck inside don't know how or what i feel just feel empty ,miserable... numb ... list could go on get so panicky and anxious where does this leave me? i think stopping suddenly anti-depressants meds i was on maybe i ended it too quick...! ( paroxetine) anyone got any advice? what would you do? don't want to rely on meds! or put on weight on anti-dp's!i know can't carry on like this it needs to end! XKLX

do i keep reminding myself it ALL IN MY HEAD....??? and just my ANXIETY playing up?! XKLX

i KNOW we didn't hurt anyone like run them over but keep THINKING we did why do i have these unreal thoughts? is it the guilt still eating me up? it keeps running through my head i feel like MURDERED someone! but know it ALL IN MY HEAD! XKLX

Atlantis- thanks for your reassurance ,glad i'm not only one who has been in this position/situation struggling to 'balance' employment issues A.S can be challenge in work place get in the way! i don't know if i'm ever going to able to manage/cope with full time employment or be overwhelmed by full time for long-term! i would like to have predictablity of wages /income and routine of knowing where i am ... just confuses me totally! i try just 'get on with it'! and not moan about it! yeah is VERY hard thing to do looks like i have NO option just SO scared back into corner i need security feel i haven't got it in any area of my life which makes it feel rocky unstable .... i can't find peace of mind or pushing myself i seem to be in habit cycle of both of these! so hard to break! XKLX

Atlantis- thanks for your reassurance ,glad i'm not only one who has been in this position/situation struggling to 'balance' employment issues A.S can be challenge in work place get in the way! i don't know if i'm ever going to able to manage/cope with full time employment or be overwhelmed by full time for long-term! i would like to have predictablity of wages /income and routine of knowing where i am ... just confuses me totally! i try just 'get on with it'! and not moan about it! yeah is VERY hard thing to do looks like i have NO option just SO scared back into corner i need security feel i haven't got it in any area of my life which makes it feel rocky unstable .... i can't find peace of mind or pushing myself i seem to be in habit cycle of both of these! so hard to break! XKLX

no i don't want go out of my comfort zone of what i love to do and enjoy nothing else i rather do! i may go back to college but whether i could get funding for this as really expensive to fund the course! i like to do full level 2 and then level 3 maybe another option! i been told i can't do regular hours by care manager i must do UNDER 16 hours because my DLA benefit! i'm exhaused all time anyway so no different really! just sensory POV! but then that happens all time too! XKLX

the reason why don't think i'd cope with longer hours is due to my exhaustion i feel after doing just feel hours i am drained mentally overwhelmed gradual increase i have thought about myself but i know i feel like failure let down aswell if had to back out because i couldn't cope /manage feel like mess my work/boss around feel bad all around like catch 22 all time really getting to me in big way making me generally fed up depressed miserable! P.S pancakemaker the started this thread NOT darkshine!!! lol XKLX

i couldn't manage/cope with full time anyway .... i don't get income support or incapacity my brother is on E.S.A benefit but he has to go for assessmemnts all time he struggles to keep it and he is DEAFBLIND! know i didn't know DLA was changing and we all being assessed! what is P.I.P? XKLX

i am bank staff at local nursery the staff girlies are good team work for understanding supportive but my dad can't understand or see why i can't just go for working full time i've tried explaining clearly that i know i wouldn't cope /manage and my mum agrees with me on this! as feels be too much pressure/strain and i'd buckle at first hurdle and fall! plus my mum my DLA appointee for me so by rules have stick to under 16 hrs so annoying frustrating! work very slow pace at the moment due to term starting up boss got to calculate numbers of children then work out staff ratio of full time then anything left over work hours goes onto us -bank staff my dad wants me start looking for another bank staff nursery job with more stable less hit and miss hours with regular income and routine and if this local nursery boss where i wrk now phoned up while if got another job somewhere else needed me to say can't make it to my boss i work for now not give reason just say can't do it! my mum said wouldn't hurt to go knocking on doors asking around once again giving CV's my mum said just nod at my dad just let go in one ear out the other .... i really feel further away than ever to my dad makes me so sad yet angry bitter i feel like A.S has caused drift block in between us our relationship how do i ever get this back! i tried explaining i get mentally tired/drained after doing few hours here and there it hurts me inside deeply to think i could be letting him down by not attempting any more hours at work.... my mum gets it understands i said to my mum that i will go ask at local nurseries but still ain't jobs to go around -stretch feel so miserable ,depressed it's heartbreaking soul destroying .... it's not like i don't want to work or be at home all day doing nothing... i do what i can do! but he seems want push me see if i could do more he don't realise that nudge could break me literally! my mum says take no notice of what my dad says about work etc but inside it niggles eats away at me! i think my dad just thinks i can click my fingers and do full time work just like that but tried tell him make him see /understand in our A.S world it doesn't work in that way! i thought be other way round my mum being like my dad is but nope! me and my dad had heart to heart 2 saturdays ago i said maybe i shouldn't have gone for official assessment and diagnosis and he said it hasn't done much good has it! and i was thinking same myself! i so emotionally torn/confused by work situation so difficult know what to do . work where i am has picked up before has just took slow progress /time so may happen once again my boss said she'll inform me when she knows when i'm needed in work again won't be this week been in today though as was an open day! just feel so fed up feel hopeless useless .... he don't realises it dents my self esteem makes my depression bad! could cry .... i just feel utter waste of space like have no purpose meaning for anything anymore like what's point in trying make something of my life! feel like giving in and up! i've had enough! when i try explain how i see things he says kids in my day that didn't have a 'label' diagnosis condition stuck on them and they cope o.k well... like that's supposed to help or ease situations i go through! just makes me feel worse what's point trying make him understand he says make him understand tell him how it is what it like when i do he don't get it anyways! used to be my mum when i was child i felt distant too and had more 'cold' relationship which knock on effect to self -esteem but they swapped roles! just want disappear,runaway anything but this mess .... i try explain best i can into work how i feel about things that make me anxious upset he can't seem to connect to it how come my mum can! looks like he can't accept get his head around the diagnosis and my life my world where does this leave me in middle of no where alone .... glad i have my mum's guidance /reassurance feel running out of options feel like never going to meet 'normal' standards in society! i work so hard put so much damn effort into everything i do! feel crushed wrecked! my nans understood better than him so can't be generation thing! i don't know if he compares me to 'norms' and think she could do if she just tried pushed that bit harder better but i'm don't want to as i know myself and i'll end up scared anxious highly likely possibility end up pulling out due to MH issues! i love my dad loads and he's keeps me on a high a up alot of time about my life with A.S but just lately he can't seem to grasp the concept of whole picture why i get so depressed anxious with it all like i should just stop WORRYING being paranoid wish it was that EASY i think he thinks can switch it on and off when had enough or feel like it! XKLX

why am i haunted by situations for so long which leaves a trail of destruction for ages like paranoia/anxiety feel like everyone after me ... out to get me! everything going to come crashing down upon me! i feel so depressed with myself over what happened last night! going take a long while to recover why did i put myself in firing line of harm,risk i can't make sense of it? isn't like me! i not good sense of character i ain't street wise and first time i met him through school friends mate now i'm worried! if someone got hurt by his driving don't know what i'd done i hadn't thought it through enough looking back did assess the situation fully but with me i jump all time isntead of taking my time to balancing up the situation first trying to predict situations is anyway this could be A.S related/connected? feel sick with worry /anxiety it making me ill as can't escape! feel like let my family down! feel like i enjoy destroying myself not in good way! all getting way too much! i'm sinking and fast! i can't justify my actions at all!

thanks for not judging me on this situation was scared panicking about posting on this but needed tell someone feel like all building up circling around in my head driving me mad crazy! thanks for your understanding and your helpful advice! XKLX

thanks for all your replies on this. it been brewing in my head since last night what if i'd said no situation but thing is i can't take it back or change what happened but suppose i know what to do in future why did i put myself in danger? i'm not excusing my irresponsibility and stupidity but could this be based about no sense of danger and impulse control ( A.S)? trying to find out why i didn't speak out i did say to him it be easier and quicker to walk there but he was insistent to drive but i shouldn't have been the passenger feel so guilty i'm battling with telling my parents but feel they can't make me feel as BAD guilty as much i already do i tripping over myself! i got a high buzz thrill from him driving fast in my head i was saying this is 'wrong' i shouldn't be in this car sitting here! i don't know if can easily forget or forgive myself why did i put myself in this dangerous position! i keep thinking what if we had crashed or hurt someone else on the road don't bear thinking about but all i can think about! yeah was frightening experience i wanted to scream 'STOP' why do i let myself be put in these situations i felt vulnerable but from start i should had SAID NO! the answer in simple staring me in the face now! i'm panicking as getting anxious/paranoid about the police coming to get me or finding out but it was one off mistake a mistake that i won't let happen again! i can't believe i let this happen freely! i feel such a BAD person i can't escape it always get caught in uncomfortable and awakard situations! being assertive more difficult/hard due to A.S? XKLX

i could cry about it just thinking about it! i can't understand why i did it! i was wreckless SO wrong! i feel sick to my stomach thinking about it! i was near enough having a panic attack in the car! i was shaking from head to toe! i WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN! don't know why i did in the first place was SO reckless and irresponsible! XKLX

i got into a car with someone who had been drinking don't know why i didn't say no in my head i wanted too but felt frozen to say anything i was really scared as he was driving fast it was my own fault i should have been more assertive my heart was in my mouth ! i don't know why i been so idiotic,stupid and foolish i am SO ANGRY upset with myself feel so ashamed don't get why couldn't be assertive and say NO it so easy to say! so why couldn't i JUST SAY IT! GRRRR.... not can't forget it! keep going over it in my head but learn't my lesson the hard way i learn't by this silly mistake! XKLX