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About steve123

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    Salisbury Hill
  1. Thats OK, thought I should raise this here as the information might be useful to others. The herbal tablets which I have been taking are called Aconite, they are available in the likes of Holland & Barratt or you can get them on prescription. The normal strength is 30c, but i'm on the prescribed 200c strength which I take one a day of and that chills me out big time. My ex was in the process of completing a mental health nursing degree and had worked with plenty of people with autism and aspergers so I thought her diagnosis was solid, that said I had always expressed that I felt the traits flowed from the anxiety and were not always present. It upset her when I mentioned that I only felt like it round her, so this was not raised much, but essentially that was the case. What were considered my traits rose after being badgered alot about about what Emma thought was AS and my fixation on the condition; your doing it, your doing it again, something has to change, stop repeating me, your anxiety is too much.... I think highlighting it just made things worse. Though I loved her to bits, it does make me wonder how things would have panned out with someone who was positive and didn't highlight it as much. At least I now know that cognative behavioural therapy is the answer if it crops up again. That said at present I am single so there is no need for it right now, if anything I need time to heal as it's not everyday you propose to someone then have them exit your life. I am somewhat older in life now, 36, so am a little bit more knowledgeable about life and everything. A lot about dating is being self confident (not arrogant), just being yourself, and not trying too hard - especially from the male perspective that can come across as being desparate which is like garlic to a vampire when it concerns women.
  2. Having just gone through the assessments for Aspergers I thought that I would share my experiences with you. My ex-partner was convinced that I had the condition, and in time it was something that I came to accept. I was doing involuntary stuff such as repeating her words on occasion, problems with eye contact, felt awkward in social situations, had mounting anxiety, would have problems with communication that got progressively worse, I would fixate on this condition I believed I had, so it seemed pretty much an open and shut case. When these traits were highlighted it would have something of a snowball effect as my anxiety would increase.... the traits felt as though they flowed through the anxiety, these drove my ex nuts on many occasion, and thus it became self perpetuating to the point where I honestly had problems operating and had become a nervous wreck. That said these problems would not be there permanently and seemed to only rear their ugly head when I was with Emma. Outside of the relationship I could function and communicate without any problem and could talk to anyone without a sign of it. I know it caused lots of problems and eventually led to things ending on bad terms which I regret. When Emma tried to shift the relationship into a friendship, I took it bad, I felt as though I was being strung along and rejected at the same time which caused me both to do and say some things that I shouldn't have. So there I am, I did the quotient test which gave an indication that I didn't have Aspergers which was later confirmed by the Disco assessment..... so what did I have? On reading a paper it was there in black and white, a condition that could be mistaken for Aspergers that matched what I felt and was an anxiety based condition. All the boxes were ticked. The condition is called Love Shyness, which is an unfortunate name, but here is the article: http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c104/telso/443552.jpg I had felt like this in a previous relationships, but nowhere to the same degree, so it would appear that the cruel twist in this anxiety condition is the more you like someone the more likely you are to exhibit what could be AS like behaviour. However in at least knowing what I have I am able to tackle it if it crops up again, I am taking some super strength herbal tablets which have ironed out my nerves, am relatively back to my old self and am about to start a new job which will help me realise my dreams. We both helped one another, I held her up when things got bad with her depression, stopped her doing a runner when the pressure of her degree mounted and made sure she realised her plan of becoming a mental health nurse. In return I spent time with a wonderful warm and loving woman who helped to influence and set my mind in the right direction with regard to many things including work, my living situation and so forth. Post relationship i've tried to keep a line of communication open, I really valued knowing her but things appear to have irretrievably broken down to the point where there appears to be no route back. I just wish that we had met at a different time and under different circumstances.
  3. Yep, good luck with that. I'm in the same boat as yourself, as my business has been hit by the recession, and i'm starting to look and apply for jobs now.
  4. Its definitely worth giving a go, I didn't want to be taking anti-depressants and asked if anything herbal was available - after taking herbal sleeping tablets previously..... and they work a treat, though as I mentioned before i'm on the 200c ones, probably best to try 30c and see how they work. I know that you can get them from Holland & Barrett or similar health shops, however you'll probably get a better quantity if you ask for them to be prescribed.... and obviously the stronger ones are only available on prescription. Think the thing about reading about the condition was that obviously you'd worry a lot more about the condition, and thats not particularly good for anybody with a pre-existing problem with anxiety.
  5. Here you go its on Delphi forums, the fact that all posts are moderated before going up says something about the place: http://login.prospero.com/dir-login/index....om%2FASPartners My ex had something of a negative outlook on life, so the advice on there was far from the best she could have had at the time when we were having troubles.
  6. If your partner is feeling suicidal then it might be a case that the doctor will prescribe anti-depressents, they're ok but from experience of knowing people on them they are difficult to come off. It might be worth giving the Aconite a go, believe me they chill you out. Without them I can be somewhat jumpy on occasion, they seem to level things out and have a chilling effect - so worth considering as an alternative. They come in varying strengths. Its definately worth going to try and obtain a diagnosis so you then know either way. It might be different for your partner but I found all the reading on the condition made me worse, I seemed to dwell on stuff which made the whole nervous anxiety thing worse when I was around my girlfriend.... but in the end just as I was getting help and the tests for diagnosis she decided to split. Which brings me nicely to AS Partners, i've tried 4 times to post helpful advice and it hasn't gone up. Whoever is OKing posts has the ability to sculpt the content of the message board - and in that they seem to only be accepting negative comments, and the leave him type of advice - which believe me having come across my ex-partners posts seems to have swayed the situation. Sure her analysis of me was a nightmare (she was studying to be a mental health nurse) and her up & down behaviour, and no doubt my nervous behaviour was very difficult to live with but I did love her. That said it could be strained and hard at the same time, the highest of highs and lowest of lows sometimes in one day. Will have to remain philosophical on this one though, maybe it just wasn't meant to be and not let it hold me back.
  7. Finally I got through the whole process, the quotient test gave an indication that I wasn't suffering from Aspergers and the Disco assessment has now confirmed it..... but don't think this is the end of my journey, as i'd like to stick round and help others having been through all this. There's help out there if you need it, and I found that if you can locate a doctor with experience in the field of autism they can be invaluable. I found that a lot of my problems stemmed from anxiety and that's what I was eventually diagnosed with, I am now taking herbal Aconite tablets which works wonders though am on a stronger strength which has to be prescribed. On my journey to seek assessment I found that talking to neutral people really helped, I was directed to a local mental health unit - that didn't handle any autism related conditions.... that was alot of help.... but found that speaking to one of the professionals about the problems I was having really lifted a weight.... likewise this might assist a person with AS to cope, I know there are groups and support services which might offer a similar service.
  8. Having just been through the diagnosis stage of things, if anyone has any questions let me know. My assessment turned out to be negative, though I do did have a few of what you consider traits when I was around my then partner. There is help out there for people if you want it, the main thing I found is persisting and finding a decent doctor as the wheels of the NHS move very slowly. The one thing I would say is steer well clear of "AS Partners" as they do not post any positive or constructive advice, i've tried to post some helpful tips on there and it just doesn't appear - so if you stumble across that site take it with a strong pinch of salt.
  9. I dont know whether its mainly anxiety issues with yourself, however after suffering badly from this myself I am now taking herbal tablets which are wonderful - they are called Aconite, the ones on sale in the likes of boots and holland & barrett etc are about £5 for the 30c strength, you can get 200c ones but they are on prescription and a doctor would likely wan to try you on the weaker ones first.
  10. Well the assessment is now out of the way, and I wasn't diagnosed with Aspergers despite having a number of the traits. Had a word with the doctor after the PCT assessed me and he is of the opinion that its an anxiety, anyway am on Aconite 200c which are herbal tablets for my nerves which are shot but they seem to be doing the job. Spoke to a friend about this the past week to try and put everything in perspective and said I felt like a rabbit in a cage being poked with a stick, eventually the rabbits gonna become nervous of the stick - the constant highlighting of what my girlfriend believed was Aspergers became that proverbial stick. Anyway I am now single again, which has its pluses and minuses. Things weren't going well, and advice she had on AS Partners wasn't particularly conducive to us staying together. Have noticed that only negative advice posts seem to go up there as tried to post some positives about seeking assessment and other helpful tips that AS suffers might find useful after my little journey. But at the end of the day life goes on..... so onwards and upwards.
  11. Was always under the impression I was just quiet. Though on doing a fair bit of reading I do have symptoms which come out through anxiety.
  12. Been a bit of a rollercoaster, going out with a mental health nurse who is of the opinion that I have Aspergers. I agree that alot of the symptoms are there - anxiety, resistent to change, find certain social environments difficult etc..... She wants me to seek help, but not sure where to look and whether it would be of help as the anxiety triggers the aspergers.... I only tend to feel like it around the Girlfriend. Think its a subconcious thing that will be very hard to change. Any suggestoins would be greatfully received.
  13. Tend to get very anxious around my girlfriend, however have found that Kalms herbal tablets help relieve the anxiety that I sometime suffer from when this occurs. Just thought I put this up if anyone sufferred likewise.
  14. Would like to say she's a qualified psychiatrist, probably feels like it after having read so much on the condition.... but being a mental health nurse probably raised her suspicions to the fact that my quirky behaviour could be attributed to AS.
  15. Hi just came across the site, and thought I should sign up, i'm 35. Girlfriend said that I had Aspergers about 2-3 montsh ago which was alot to take on. Initially kind of blocked it out, but can see that alot of the symptoms are there but only seem to come out when I get nervous.... dont know if that is similar to other people, still learning I guess. But hello anyways.
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