Shaunsmum

I took Shaun today too but we had the opposite from you, he didn't enjoy the film (we seen it in 2D as he wont wear the glasses), he continually asked through the film to go home, twice he asked to go to the toilet and also said at one stage he had to go wash his hands (which is normally a fight to get him to do), I had to keep telling him that there was only 5 mins left, thankfully he doesn't have any sense of time YET lol. He went to see Shrek yesterday so don't know if it was the film or if he was just fed up with being there yesterday or not. I thought it was a bit scary for young kids at some stages of it and I thought it was sad at the end, nearly started crying lol. Glad you had a great time at the cinema xxx

Hi the only thing Shaun has ever done (so far) is to bite his finger, I was talking to him about how hitting his brother hurt him and made him upset, his finger was at his mouth but after a few minutes I realised his finger was actually in is mouth and he was biting, the way he was doing it you wouldn't have noticed that he was doing that. I moved his hands down by his side and told him to take a deep breath in and out (the nursery used to do this and found it worked, it hasn't worked for me though). Then I started talking to him about other things. He done this for a couple of weeks and I asked the school if they had noticed him doing it and they said he didn't do it at school (but then they can put him into time out and he does his time with no problems but he kicks and screams when I do it at home). The school said there was another boy in his class who done this regularly and Shaun was copying him. He doesn't do anything else at the moment and I'm hoping he won't. If I had a situation like you had I don't know how I would have handled.

I agree with you here, old age and being obese are not disabilities but they can bring disabilities with them. My father-in-law is a pensioner, he walks with a stick and has a blue badge, he finds it extremely difficult to walk distances and that is why he was awarded a blue badge. I'm obese and although it's my own fault that I am obese (actually I'm morbidly obese) I am finding it extremely difficult to lose weight, I eat healthy and I have 2 dogs I walk daily. Although I wouldn't apply for a blue badge. The point I'm trying to make is that no one asks for their health problems and everyone has different health problems and there have been posts talking about discriminating against ASD/AS and I feel (whether intended or not) that there have been others discriminated against. Also I don't want you to think that I was offended by what you said, everything I have typed is just my opinion (of which I have many lol) I must apologise too if I've taken over the original post Anne-Marie xxx Just to add it's Severe disablement allowance my mum gets and will still have to go for another assessment (from my original post) xxx

Shaun was toilet trained just 4 months before his 5th birthday. I had broached the subject a few times with him but he got extremely upset. He was getting ready to start school and they said that they would get him out of nappies as it was easier for them if he was out of them because it takes 2 people to change him. The nursery was on holiday in the February for 5 days so I just decided that I wasn't putting nappies on him apart from in bed. He got really upset and we had a lot of wet pants that day (he was just doing a dribble everytime) the second day was worse but by the third day he was going to the toilet and I think we only had one accident. Also at the end of the first day he refused to put a pull up on at bedtime and said he was a big boy now. I used a reward chart which was blue tac-ed to the bathroom wall above the toilet. I had searched for one that didn't just say potty reward chart but had a picture and couldn't find one. Someone emailed me the free behaviour website address and they had one in pink and in blue with a picture of a child sitting on a potty. They also have stickers you can download, I done it on to normal paper then laminated it and stuck them on with blue tac too. Sorry if someones already put this site addy on http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/

I don't agree that it should only be wheelchair users. My mum has a blue badge, she doesn't use a wheelchair but she has scoliosis, she's had it since she was 6 years old, she spent years in and out of hospital had several operations and has a scar that runs the length of her spine. The hospital broke both her hips when she was younger and her right hip never healed properly. She now has problems with her back and her hip. It gets worse as she gets older, she has even asked for an operation on her back which they wont do as it could leave her paralysed. They have told her she needs a hip replacement but they wont do it because she's only 51. It is though getting to the stage where her leg just goes numb and she has to quickly sit down else she falls over. It's at the stage now where she is too scared to go into town on her own. I was with her one day when this happened, she didn't fall because I was with her but she went grey, I thought she was having a heart attack. She has a walking stick which was given to her by physio. It will not be too far away in the future before I think she will end up in a wheelchair permanently. She receives the lifetime diasablement benefit (can't remember the proper name) but she too will have to have these new assessments. She can't work or look after her grandchildren. I do agree about the fact that this should not be dealt with one disability at a time and I haven't signed the petition either. Anne-Marie xxxx

I would contact your local Social work services and ask if they have access to benefits advice officers. We have a wonderful lady who helps us fill in any forms we have and will tell you what you're able to apply for and will fill in the forms on your behalf with the information you give them. We don't recieve child tax credits as we still reveive money on our income support for the children, she told me a year ago that it will change on it's own but for now we were better off leaving it as it was. I phoned her last week to ask if we should now apply for child tax credit and she's said again that things are not clear as yet with what exactly the changes are going to be (other than the ones about new babies after a certain date ect) and that at the moment we are still better to leave it as it is for now. We live in central scotland so things might be different in other areas but it's definately worth giving them a phone and asking if they have benefits advice officers. Sorry for rambling on lol Anne-Marie xxx

I'm really worried about this too because of what we'll have to go through with Shaun going for assessments etc, we get the high rate of care and low rate of mobility for Shaun. My husband also gets the low rate of care as he has mental health problems. We both don't work, him because of his mental health problems, me because of both him and Shaun. My husband and I have discussed and argued for hours at a time about this. Mental health is a very difficult illness to prove. If it comes down to it I will have to go out to work (which was always my plan when Shaun went to school) and he will have to be a stay at home Dad, which on his good days will be fine but I don't know how he'll cope on his bad days. Also I don't have great qualifications so what have to go with a job that offered minimum wage. I have now been accepted at college to do my NC in Child care and early education but there is a waiting list and I don't know if I'm going to be offered a place or not. Anne-Marie xxx

Thanks guys, I had a lump in my throat when he said it. xxx

I was looking at a text book on child care, I was reading the chapter on 'Special Needs'. My middle son asked what I was reading and I told him I was reading about Special needs. My 6 year Autistic son asked me 'Mum do I have special needs', my heart was in my mouth, really wasn't expecting this question as early as this. I answered truthfully and said yes you are Autistic, he then said ' yes I am, I'm fantastic'. My answer? 'Yes you are'. It certainly made me smile and my family. Hope it makes you smile too Anne-Marie xxx

I was told when we first applied for the care component that because Shaun was too young to claim it (they have to be 5yrs) that they would write to me closer to the time. 2 weeks after his birthday I realised they hadn't contacted me so I gave them a call. I was told it would be backdated to the date I phoned, I explained about them not contacting me and was told it would still only be back dated to that day. When the benefits officer came out I explained to her what had happened and she put a covering letter in stating that the money should be back dated to Shaun's birthday because they failed to contact me and I had to contact them instead. We got the money back dated to his birthday, I don't think I would have gotten that if I had done the forms myself. AM xxx

It took 4 months when we first claimed for the care component then 3 months when we claimed for the mobility component (shaun wasn't old enough for that when we applied at first). We then had to reclaim this year and it took the 11 weeks it says on the letter. I phoned my local social work office and asked for a benefits advice officer who came to the house and filled the forms in for us. We've just been awarded Shauns DLA for the next 6 years instead of 2 which was what it was the first time we applied. The benefits officer also kept a photocopy of the form and helps to appeal any decision your not happy with. We had the same officer come out to fill in the renewal form too, she brought the copy of the first form so she could see what changes if any there were and also just to remind us what we said last time around. Anne-Marie xxx

THanks Jsmum. He did do really well on holiday, it's my MIL's caravan so he's used to going there a lot throughout the summer holidays. I think after reading your post it could be a bit of everything you've said. I do have routines at home but only in what order things are done, we don't have our meals at the same time everyday and bathtime tomorrow could be half an hour later or earlier than it was tonight. I am a very un-organised person, I always have been and it never seemed to make a difference to Shaun but now he's going into is second year at primary school he may be noticing more that we don't do things at the same time. I do have a whiteboard hanging on my living room wall where I right what's happening that day and what order and we've noticed when he goes into my MIL he looks at her calander to see what she's doing so I'll try sticking to a routine this next week and see if it makes a difference. His older brother is out with friends a lot just now and the middle brother has been to the park a lot too so they do get space from each other, unless the weather is bad. Thanks again Anne-Marie xxx

The family were on GMTV last week, I didn't see it but my mum did. I hope they get the support they so badly need. Annemarie xxx

Last week we were at the caravan and Shaun was great, came out of places we were when he was told his time was up with no tantrums (a massive change from last year). Now that we're home I'm finding him tearful over the slightest thing which is really unlike him, he is fighting with his middle brother more often than normal. We also noticed the same thing at the Christmas hols. Has anyone else experienced this. My mil thinks it's because he's not got his school routine but I don't know what I can do about that during the hols. Anyone any ideas please. Anne-Marie xxx

Same here lol xxx