JeanneA

Hi thanks for your comments. Glen is in a special school, he has got a statement has had since he was 7. The school just cannot cope with him and would go along with anything if it means he wouldn't be there for a while, thats how I feel. The so called professionals prefer to put it down to the home and not the school suggesting that perhaps Glen is not happy with myself and his step-dad, which is completely untrue. Glen's problems are and always have been school related but no-one it seems will admit this. I will look into contacting the people you have suggested, thank you for that much appreciated.

Thanks Lisa it has made me feel so much better reading your comments. Like you my son's problems are School related but the professionals don't seem to agree with us. I do feel very bullied by the clinical psychologist I haven't liked her since the first time I saw her, she is very forceful.

Hi Sally thanks very much for your comments, really appreciate what you have said. My husband and I are writing a letter this weekend to the clinical psychologist. The psychologist does think that Glen's behaviour problems are mental health related as apposed to ASD, we are not convinced however. I do not want my son to be sent away for a long time I have extremely concerned about all of this.

Hi, my son Glen as you know is autistic and I have been informed from the clinical psychologist that due to my son's behaviour isssues over the years he needs to go to a residential place for a mental health assessment. Glen is 15 now and his main problems are school related which is why his behaviour deteriates, he gets aggressive, wets himself, strips off etc. Rather than advice or work with the School etc the psychologist is saying Glen needs to go away but I do not want him to. Glen is a child who needs routine, will be extremely anxious somewhere that he's never been especially surrounded by strangers. I don't think its a good idea at his age for him to be taken away from his home for a long time and to take him away from all the things he enjoys. All the professionals including Glen's social worker are for it. Please tell me what you think and also I presume that the parents do have the final say in something like this and we can't be forced into it?

Thanks very much Sam's Mum for your comments they make a lot of sense!

Thanks for all the support. I do agree that the professionals seem to have forgotten that the child is Autistic, his behaviors have always been changeable. I know my friend is concerned about this residential placing for observing purposes. They seem to not be addressing that the child is obviously not happy at School and just blaming the parents.

Thanks trekster for your help. They seem to think the child suffers from mental health issues they want to send the child to a residential place along with my friend and her husband where they can be observed by psychiatrists, psychologists etc.

A friend of mine is feeling extremely angry and upset at the moment. Her ASD child has been having behavior problems on and off for years. There has been professional meetings organized at the School. Anyway a report has been composed by a clinical psychologist with input from the School, social services, from my friend and her husband (her child's step dad). The school have said in the report that due to the child's extreme behavior over the years they have suspicions that the child may be being abused at home or elsewhere. My friend denies these accusations and is horrified that anyone could suggest that of her, her husband or anyone in her family. I know my friend and her husband really well and I know that they would never do anything like that. The school as far as I can see just can't cope with the child and are trying to put the blame on the 'home situation'. I do so feel for my friend, she is so distressed with this, I have never seen her so upset.

Thanks Nicky, I'm taking one day at a time I know what the School is like!

Glen got on ok at School. It looks like they are starting to listen at last to what my hubby and myself have been saving for ages. Glen is now in a class which is going to concentrate on life and personal skills, they will go out in the community several times a week, go to shops and buy food etc for snacks. Hopefully Glen will be more settled in this class.

I have been dreading this day for weeks. Glen has behaved so well during the summer holiday compared to how he was behaving at School the past school year. I just hope that things improve in this new School year.

My son Glen who is 15 and is severely autistic, is and always has been very repetitive, are there many autistic kids that are similar? Sometimes Glen is less repetitive than others, at the moment it has increased again. It's always the same things that he says, food items as Glen is obsessed with food. Glen will continually repeat the food items he thinks he is getting today or tomorrow, particularly deserts and breakfasts. Glen is also more repetitive in anxious situations, i.e. School. It would be interesting to hear back from parents with their experiences of their kids being repetitive.

Sounds like you have it really tough Mellow. My son Glen, 15 is severely autistic. Glen also has to be told what he is doing from the minute he gets up, everything has to be organised for him. Glen will jump on his trampoline in the garden and loves his swing, so I do get some peace when he is out there. It isn't taking Glen out as he has a fear of dogs always has from a very young age. However he is better than he used to be I can just about take him to a park and we have a walk round, but I am constantly on the look out for dogs. Glen does have a lot of sensory issues, the 2 things that seem to be the best for Glen are exercise and music therapy (listening to music through head-phones). Glen also loves swimming. Have to tried getting your child to do some form of exercise Mellow? I'm sure it would help relieve any stress, as it does my son.

Has anyone tried Valergan for sleep purposes? I was prescribed this for Glen a few years back and it did help and still does, however I only use it occasionally when I really have to.

Hi my social worker's manager chaired the meeting and both her and the social worker were quite good but I did feel the social worker didn't say as much as I had hoped. I did feel that both the School and the Clinical Psychologists were trying to emphasise on the home situation as apposed to the school situation, and that Glen's behavioural issues were a home problem as apposed to a School problem.

I attended the Proffessionals Meeting this afternoon, I got the feeling that the School do blame the parents/home life past and present etc. I've came away from the meeting with the same feelings On the brighter side Glen is staying in the Autism base that he has been moved to, as I was concerned to what would happen in September. It was brought up at the meeting if I thought Glen's behaviour deteriated when Glen's dad and myself split up 7 years ago! To which I replied 'no', I left Glen's dad so that Glen would be in a happier environment with me, which has proved to be the case. I just get the feeling they don't believe me, it is just so frustrating. The clinical psychologist particularly kept remarking about how bad/extreme Glen's behaviours are she also said that she may have to seek the advice of someone more senior than herself if she couldn't try and find a solution to why Glen behaves the way he does. I don't know I've just come away feeling a bit low really, perhaps I should have said more, I was very nervous throughout the meeting. Another meeting has been called for September 23rd, with all the professionals involved that were there today.

Thanks wassup, Glen's social worker and her manager are both totally on my side and will be supporting me. I will let you know how I get on, I do know they have failed but instead of admitting that they are trying to pass the buck!

Hi I am attending a Proffessionals Meeting at my son Glen's School tomorrow. The meeting has been called because of Glen's deteriation in his behaviour at School particularly in the last year. Glen is far more relaxed at home, he can be aggressive: i.e. hit out at me etc, but he is mainly aggressive at School, where he hits out at staff, throws chairs etc. I am not happy with how the School has performed regarding helping lesson Glen's agression I don't feel they have done enough. When I ask them 'why did Glen get aggressive', they say: 'we are still trying to work that out'! Glen has been placed in a different class: the autism base, as this class is more structured to Glen's needs and he is slightly better since being in that class, so that is something. Glen never wants to go to School and will always say 'home tomorrow' each day! Has anyone else attending a Proffessionals Meeting before, and if so what came out of it for you? I would be interested to know. I have been told by Glen's social worker that the School representatives will bring up about myself and Glen's dad splitting up 7 years ago and the fact I moved out the family home with Glen. They will say by doing that Glen must have been effected, it could have made him aggressive. This is rubbish, Glen has been the way he is since the age of around 2, he has had various behavioural issues since that age, I knew something was wrong with him. Many professionals saw Glen and said he was a very complexed little boy with extreme anxiety. I am concerned that rather than take any responsibility for Glen's behaviour themselves they are going to put the blame on me splitting with Glen's dad.

Thanks for the last 2 comments much appreciated. My daughter is and always has been very selfish I'm afraid, she has never understood why she has to pay rent, she has begrudged paying it, wierd as that may sound to you! Paying rent isn't an essential to her unlike buying loads of clothes, hair dye, handbags, shoes etc each week!! On Sunday, my daughter came and took the rest of her stuff, we are on good terms and I know for a fact she has wanted to live with her boyfriend (albeit in his parents house) for ages but just hasn't been able to tell me! I hope one day she will learn the value of money, will learn how to save would be good instead of spending it all every month once she gets paid! When we did used to go out together, very seldom mind you it was still always me that paid for her in cafes etc, never her offering to pay, or very seldom anyway.

Our mortgage is around a £1000 each month, plus numerous other extras each month in the form of bills etc. My daughter had sky tv in her room which my husband put in for her and all she was paying was £40 which included the sky. I only do a little cleaning work so I don't earn much, my hubby is the main wage earner but he only brings her around £1600 a month. So we find it very tough indeed. My daughter brings home just over £1000 a month and she begrudged paying £40 a week, we could not go down to £20 a week that she asked, we did compromise at £30 but that wasn't good enough.

Yes Chris we intend to get the front door key back this weekend when she should be taking the rest of her stuff! Thanks guys for all the replies it has been so helpful to get people views!

Hi bid thanks for your comments. My daugther brings home just over £1000 a month, so we feel she can pay the £40, we have as I've said offered to put it down to £30 but thats still not enough for her she wants to pay only £20 a month. I am a softie that is my trouble and she is playing on that. Its not just that, when she was nearly 15 I left her Dad for the man I'm married to now. I did ask her to come and live with us but she refused. So for nearly 6 years she lived with her Dad before coming to live here when her dad kicked her out because he was fed-up with her very selfish ways which is just what my husband and I are fed-up with now. So after leaving her with her Dad for 6 years do you think I should give in to her demands of £20 a week due to my past guilt? I would love to know what anyone thinks.

I have brought the subject of rent up before regarding my daughter, sorry for bringing it up again but really need your thoughts. I have been charging her £40 a week rent and most of you thought that was not enough. Although she sleeps at her boyfriend's parents house every night she still had most of her stuff here plus had 4 meals a week and an occassional bath and sky tv in her room. My daughter asked again at the weekend for the rent to be reduced to £20 a week, we said no, but compromised and said we would except £30. My daughter because she didn't get her way (£20 a week) then said she was moving out to her boyfriend's parents house permantly. Last night she took a lot of her stuff there but still has more to take. I am left feeling guilty, being a typical soft Mum, and have the feeling she still wants us to back down to £20 a week so she can still have the room here and come and go as she wants. Please give me your thoughts on this, should I let her go ahead and move out or back down. My hubby Carl (her step-dad) wants her to go he does not think we should back down.

Thanks isme, I think she's lucky we haven't increased her rent

Thanks Emma I intend to