stepdad

My stepson has been bullied throughout his school life and he's still verbally abused now at 18yrs. Sorry I can't be more positive and say ''The bullies will get tired'', 'cos they DON'T. He is 6ft 2in & 13st, but has always been mercilessly bullied by GIRLS. Because of his gentle nature and non-interest in anything remotely boyish (football, cars, girls, etc), he has always gravitated towards girls as friends. Almost without exception, they have turned on him, often becoming quite seriously abusive towards him. Don't get me wrong, he is a bigger B***h than many girls, and can cause problems himself as he gets over involved in gossip and hearsay, believing all he hears. In school the staff all know him really well so protect him to some extent. The problem is often, (and I bet some of you have experienced this), ''Little Johnny was only joking, your son just doesn't get it''. OK sometimes their right, but the problem is, the teachers are SCARED of retribution from parents claiming favoritism, and will often ignore things or tell him to ''remember your sense of humour''. Anyway my rant is over, and I really really hope your lad gets treated better. Best wishes Robbie

daniels-mum, hows his academic skills? My son was ok at the start of secondary due to him being a bit more academic than others. What he lacked in social skills he made up for, and surpassed himself with his school work. I know that this may not be much of a comfort for you, but if he's anything like my boy he'll be very resilient ( or is that thick skinned?) I believe at his age he'll pull it of with his peers, all kids are very different at his age. I've always been quite strict about age appropriate games, toys, books, etc, and rightly or wrongly he has had things for his right age group. This may not be to everyones thinking but it has worked to some extent. I wish all the best Robbie

I originally bought my stepson an electric razor that you can use wet or dry. It looked similar to a bladed razor in shape, and wasn't to noisy. After a while of him shaving in the shower, he told us that his razor wasn't shaving him properly, he has a strong beard, and asked for a wet shave. This started with me shaving him in stages, as he was scared and kept moving. Soon he was asking to do it himself as he wanted the control. I spent hours with him encouraging and sometimes taking over from him, until now he shaves himself with a wet razor. Touch wood we haven't had any trips to A&E and he manages well. We just make sure we check the blades, making sure he has the safest and easiest on the market ( fusion) this way he doesn't have to try hard to get a good shave. Robbie

Hello guys interesting to hear your views, as my 18yr Aspergers stepson is looking at going to university next year and obviously his mother and I have concerns for him. He has been offered a look around Bangor, which actually has special needs help as well as single rooms with en-suite, which is a must for him. Can you give us any info on other uni's that I can look up? Cheers Robbie

All these words of encouragement are greatly appreciated, Thankyou. It's nice to be able to talk about problems faced by my son, and actually have someone understand what my son, and us as his parents are going through. Unfortunately, there are no groups or clubs in our area that my son can attend, everything seems to be geared towards younger children. He's still trying hard to be like his peers, bless him, he went clubbing last night so we expect a blow by blow account of the night out, OOH Can't wait for all that detail Te He.

Hi, This is my first post, so sorry if I waffle on a bit. My stepson is 18yrs old and has been diagnosed with Aspergers since the age of approx 6. I was a family friend before marrying his mother, so new him from the age of around 10yrs. I have worked with disabilities for many years, and have experienced Autism in many forms, but obviously living with it is very different. I witnessed my stepson growing up and often remarked to his mother "You think he's finding things difficult now?" Wait until he's older"! Anyway, the inevitable has happened, and he is a sulky teenager. Problem is he's a sulky 12yr old in 18yr old body. He is finding life incredibly hard at the moment, as he doesn't fit in more than ever. He has always been socially inept, as we expected, but up until he was around 15yrs, things were ok. Now his friends all want to be in the pub and talking constantly about the opposite sex, while he wants to talk about High school Musical!!! This obviously is becoming a huge problem for him, and he is becoming more of an outcast than he was already. He tries to fit in but he doesn't relly like alcohol, hasn't a clue about his sexuality, and is looked upon as weird by his so called friends. Anyone know someone in this position, or have any suggestions Cheers Robbie