Mandapanda
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Posts posted by Mandapanda
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Help......I found seamless black sports socks for Ben that worked last weekend.Men's size rather than boys.
The shop concerned [just had anniversary] have changed stock and no longer have them.
Any recommendations anyone.Please pm me if you cannot post specific details.
I just wish I had bought ten packs.
Karen.
Hi Karen
You could try tubular ski socks. They don't have seams and are thick like sports socks. Many outdoor clothing suppliers do them. Trespass is one make.
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Hi
My eldest son starts college next week
.He didn't get all the results expected and 2 keys ones (Eng Lang & History) were D rather than C. At the start of the enrolment appointment they were saying he couldn't do any of the AS subjects he wanted because of those 2 Ds. He got B in Eng Lit but that doesn't count towards being able to do Eng Lang. This was rather stressful
It didn't help that he got A in Physics, and Bs in Biology and Chemistry and Eng Lit, but did not want to do them!!!! He doesn't like maths and this is what put him off Physics, and there was no changing his mind.
Well, lots of discussion, negotiation (and pleading by me
) and they have agreed that he can retake GCSE Eng Lang (one year course), and still do Early Modern History and Philosophy, and instead of Eng Lang and Russian he is doing Biology (hoorah!) and Applied ICT (designing websites etc - hoorah!). The enrolment tutor had to bring in the Head of Department who spent quite a long time with us and was very patient and understanding, but she did point out that he will now be doing a 'funny mixture' of subjects - I couldn't help saying "well he is a funny child" 
. I did go on to say that sometimes people have to do something different to do something special 
.They insisted he accept some sort of support from Student Services (something he consistently refused at school), including assessments for things like dyslexia because of his problems organising his thoughts and difficulties with mental arithmetic. He seems OK about this but obviously thinks they won't find anything so he won't NEED any help
.All in all we came out of this very well indeed. I feel guilty that they sort of had to 'give in' and let him do things they didn't really want him to do (because they want him to achieve and not fail), and I have talked to him about the need for putting in extra effort to prove it was the right decision, but there was a point when he was getting negative and I was concerned he would decide he didn't want to go to college if he couldn't do what he wanted. It's a tightrope sometimes.
At least these days GCSEs aren't the end of the world, and he doesn't have to continue the courses if he really doesn't get on with them, and if he does really well in Eng Lang from the beginning the Head of Dept said they "might be able to sort something out", but in any event if he gets C or above in Eng Lang he can start Eng Lang AS next year.
What a relief - just hope he looks like he's putting in lots of effort on the courses (he's good at looking unenthusiastic and unmotivated, even if he is really keen!!).
Next trauma will be whether he can actually catch the bus on time after 2 1/2 months of lay-ins
PS: He finally appeared in something 'official' to do with school (after all these years
). He is in the Yearbook as having the Best Hair (it's very long, wild and ginger) . He is over the moon about this 
and I am very proud (although I'd love him to wash it more . -
Wiith Sam's other condition we had a nightmare being referred to the wrong person and being told he was making up his dislocations!!
Who do these people think they are ?!!!
I believe gagging on food can be a sign of dyspraxia.
My youngest has never been good going to other people, even grandparents he was very close to. He was fine whilst he was with childminder/at school, but the parting has continually been a problem. Holidays just magnified the problem afterwards. My eldest has Asperger's and would go off with anybody when younger! I think it depends not only on diagnosis but their inherent personality.
You might look at information on the National Autistic Website, including info on Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) - my youngest is different in some significant ways to my eldest who has Asperger's and PDA is a related condition. However you may well be looking more at High Functioning Autism, but children can have other difficulties at the same time, eg. dyspraxia, adhd, and some of them have overlapping/similar symptoms. It can be very difficult to work it out for yourself.
Taking my eldest out into shops was such a problem, I gave up for many years. I would go to town when my husband could look after him. When he got older and wanted to go to town to spend birthday money, he became much better, would hold hands, stay with us (mostly), etc. So things can get better as they get older.
Support after diagnosis can be extremely varied depending on your local services. Pretty hopeless where I live, unfortunately
Good luck.
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Tell me, with your asthma, how do you feel about vehicle fumes, particularly diesel fumes, as vehicle fumes contain many of the chemicals in burning cigarettes and more harmful ones besides, in fact diesel fumes are a known carcinogen.And, did you not notice, I suggested a compromise that is comfortable to all, not one group being given preferential treatment over another.
I have not always been a smoker, depression contributed to my smoking, but when I was not a smoker, I did not complain about others smoking, I just accepted the fact that if I go into certain places, I will be breathing smoke, just as I breath vehicle fumes in the street, it is one of lifes risks. To note, I am 42 now, I started smoking at age 32, so, I was a long time non smoker. Asthma I have not had, but from age 4 through to age 37, I had hay fever, and every pollen was a problem to me, I could'nt walk down the street before the eyes started streaming, either that, or always sleeping because of the piriton that was only available at the time. As a child, I suffered with eczma.
Sreangely though, when in a smoke laden atmosphere, it retarded the effects of the hayfever.
I wasn't aware that smoking was a treatment for depression ....
I make do with antidepressants myself. Surely if you can get all the same chemicals (and more) by walking down the street by a busy road you could save yourself a fortune by not smoking as well. If you only started smoking 10 years ago, it was already well reported the harm smoking does to the body. You moan about diesel fumes (which generally are outside in the open air), yet you suggest you should be allowed to sit in an enclosed room deliberately inhaling dangerous fumes from your own cigarettes (which is filtered, presumably) and other people's (which is unfiltered and therefore even more harmful) Smoking rooms increase the concentration of smoke and are therefore even more harmful to smokers - I never found the extractor fan system in smoking rooms could cope with the concentration of smoke.
Smoking will protect you from pollen by laying down a layer of gunk in your nasal passages and lungs. This is not strange, and neither is it a 'benefit' of smoking.
Please don't think I am criticising you as a person, just your smoking and your 'arguments' for being allowed to affect other people with your smoke. Nobbynobs can't affect you with asthma, except perhaps by falling on you during an asthma attack, but your smoke could kill Nobbynobs (or others with asthma). You can smoke at home, friends' and relatives' homes if they let you, in your car, and out in the open air. I think that is ample opportunity for you to harm yourself. The NHS are providing many different ways of helping people give up smoking at the moment, but you have to really want to give up. I know, I've done it.
We all have a right to breathe fresh air (as fresh as possible). No arguments can get round that one
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Smoking, believe it or not, is an addiction, not so much of a choice, ever done it, become hooked, and tried to deprive yourself of it, believe me, it is not easy and there is much truth in the saying, once a smoker, always a smoker, as life is not quite the same after ridding an addiction. Even my father, thirty years non smoking still admits he would love to draw on smouldering tobacco, just one more time, such is the addiction, I believe it alters the brain chemistry irreversibly.Cigarettes, they are too expensive, more than I can afford, so, I smoke rolling tobacco, that way besides being cheaper, I can custom make a smoke to my choice, more often than not, barely more than two puffs, but it is enough sometimes.. Also with rolling tobacco, there is a deficit of chemicals in there, neglect a smoke, it goes out, quite unlike a cigarette that will burn to the filter and there pose a fire hazard.
I don't want to smoke, I wished I had never started at age 30, but I did due to peer pressure and am now stuck with it. Even my doctor knows my desire to stop, but won't give me the required medication to get me off it, and even recommends I do not try to give up as he recognises tobacco, does help with managing stress, something I am plagued with on a day to day basis.
The so called smoking ban, is yet another law to be policed by the police that have better things to do, like catching hard core criminals. It is a toothless law and aimed at alienating normally law abiding citizens. A better solution might have been available, like going back to the turn of the twentieth century and later civility of public venues offering smoke rooms for those addicted and those not, but want to smoke. But, whilst the government still reaps tax from tobacco, it's laws against the smoking of tobacco indicate the government as usual speaks with a forked tongue. And why is it, the bars in Parliament, the law proposers and makers are still allowed to smoke indoors, to me, a law starts with the law makers, not the laws are for the populace only.
But,as people seem to think smoking tobacco products is the root cause of cancer, I just wonder how many of those believers run diesel cars, and are quite happy with the effects of diesel fumes on the enviroment, in their hair and on their clothes. Know that, diesel fumes are a known carcinogen and hazardous to health, far more than smoking ever was. The reason everything is quiet, is because diesel is big business, the tax reaped is more than that for tobacco. Just notice what happens, those of you with diesel cars, notice the fuel tax hikes and restrictions that come into place, soon,it will be known diesel fumes pose more of a risk to health than smoking tobacco ever did.
As for cars that are breaking the law, if your boss says put notices on cars that break the law, then comply with your boss, as it is your job, but if anyone ever challenges you as to why you are putting notics on cars, direct them to your boss. Just say you are doing what you are told as per your job description. Now, it strikes as your boss is all well and good saying these things, but are they actually engaged in finding and putting notices on cars themself, if they are not, then what they say, is not what they experience, if it was they were involved in the day to day hassles of disgruntled motorists, they might not impose such directives. It might very well be, they direct their minnions to do the dirty work, knowing full well they will not feel the angst of their actions. Just to note it is all well and good imposing rules, but if you are not willing to impose them and rely on others, it speaks of meglomania.
And just finally to note, smoking tobacco is not illegal, using drugs other than tobacco or alcohol unless directed by a recognised medical practitioner is illegal.
Smoking may be an addiction but it can certainly be overcome. I smoked for 11 years, often up to 40 a day. I gave up 27 years ago now and am so glad. I never ever want to smoke again. My mother gave up smoking at the age of 74 and is going strong at 86. I think you are making excuses for yourself, and have not reached the mindset where you REALLY WANT to give up.
Hi Warren
I work for the NHS and of course people are not supposed to smoke anywhere on our premises either, including the car park. Our patients have mental health issues and can be depressed, agitated, paranoid, etc. I personally do not think I should be expected to ask them to stop, but all us staff are supposed to, we don't have security guards or anything.
The tax disc notice is awkward if boss says you should. If confronted, could you say that you have been given orders to put the note on and you wouldn't want them to get clamped by the DVLA. (I personally wasn't aware this could happen in a car park). People should 'shoot the messenger'.
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Hi special talent
I finally managed to watch the programme. It was really good. 3 quite different characters (and parents!).
I thought you did really well on the date, getting the conversation going with your questions. It looked like Alex would have sat there in silence otherwise! Alex looked very cool and spoke well (to the camera, anyway!). I was really impressed with the way he was succeeding and being appreciated at work. A very nice young man.
I really liked Ollie and thought he had a great personality. I liked his parents' attitude too (except the blunt way mum suggested a boring data entry job!!).
I thought Tom's case was quite sad really. It was like his parents didn't really know him, or hadn't made any effort to understand him. When his dad talked about having to 'restrain' him and Tom then talked about needing to be strong for when his dad 'attacked' him, I felt it spoke volumes about their relationship. Tom was able to tell the camera all this stuff, but I wonder if his parents had ever tried to talk calmly to him about it, and listened to what he had to say. They just seemed indignant because he kept 'hitting' them, and obviously didn't realise that their behaviour towards him might be escalating matters to that point. During an argument, one of his siblings called him a 'retard', without any rebuke from mum or dad. I was horrified mum went through his stuff and took the card - she should have talked it through with him, and just because he had young DVDs does not mean he 'really ONLY' likes them, my son likes stuff for his age but also finds younger stuff comforting. When Tom's friend said she couldn't come and he was in bed, his mum walked in, leaned over him and pulled at him. Surely she should have been able to tell from looking at him that it wasn't good news? His mum's note talked to him like a toddler, which also showed how little she understood him and how she didn't realise he was growing up. It was very troubling to me that he could only be happy away from his family, but I really hope he does well in the future.
I wonder if they will make one for the girls in the future, or maybe they felt the girls' difficulties weren't so easy to spot, as it is supposed to be generlly harder to diagnose girls with asd.
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my son who is 10 has been dx with adhd and asd and i am just wondering if anybodys children either walk in circles or pace from one foot to another.Why do they do this and what is it called,i dont know if to try and stop him doing it or to just ignore this,also can anybody give me any advice on getting your child to shower,have his hair washed or cut as my child is terrified of everythingHi jacqueline
I am sorry to say this but your post made me chuckle
Only because most of us have problems like this, especially the washing bit.Autistic children often love spinning (themselves or other things), my eldest got in trouble at school for spinning a protractor and it falling on the floor repeatedly (he didn't think it was his fault it went on the floor as he was only spinning it, not pushing/throwing it on the floor). He may feel 'weird' standing still, pacing may help him ignore other things he would become aware of if he just stood still and quiet. My son just turned 16 and still walks on tiptoe - obviously so in bare feet, but still slightly in shoes. We took him to a specialist having told him it would affect him in the future and may lead to an operation, but the specialist said it wasn't a problem and not to worry about it
. He doesn't want and has no intention of not walking on his toes, so there isn't much we can do about it really.When he was younger he had various 'habits'. He would make noises with his mouth, or make gestures, perhaps this is your son's version of a 'habit'. We were told that if we tried to stop him doing what he was doing, he might start doing something less desirable, which made a lot of sense to me !! He doesn't really have any noticeable habits now, although he will occasionally chew his tongue when he is concentrating.
We manage to get him (very reluctantly) to have a shower once a week (mostly), but I'm not sure if soap or shampoo is involved. I try to keep his clothes, pyjamas and bedding washed regularly which helps. Being a teenager he smells strongly of BO at times, but then so do other lads his age.
Would your son play with cups, bowls, or toys in water? We used to put a tiny amount of water in the bath with some little boats for Mj to play with, he used to spend ages in there (although not actually washing, he was 'soaking' clean
). Shame he won't play with toys now he's 16!!! I know your son is 10, but sometimes they are still happy to do something a younger child would do.Good luck
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Hi Ian
Fascinating topic. It is interesting to know there is a different angle to consider when trying to understand how people with asd perceive the world. I had seen things about the coloured lenses, but nothing about what you are explaining.
Thanks for posting!
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It may be either a vestibular problem, proprioceptive problem, systemic difficulty or visual problem.
HI Ian
Are you a doctor?
Hi petet
He could have an ear infection but either not feel or be able to express the pain. My boys have had frequent ear infections with no pain, even though we were told that wasn't possible !!
Hope you get it sorted, it must be very unnerving for him and you.
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Thank you KezTHaving felt so low and tired I called in the cavalry(my mum) who took ds at 6.am and I went to back to bed for a couple of hours and was refreshed(well a bit) and ready to carry on! she is the only person I have ever left him with and never overnight as he is very hard work and an escape artist! But I think that I need to ask for help a little more often as it really helped. I think I can be a little too proud for my own good sometimes! I just never wanted to "put" on her and have always felt that my life choices led me to be a single parent and I didnt want my mum to feel put upon, but truth be told she loved being asked to help out! and the two of them had a ball! we have agreed she will sleep over once a week and do the night with ds and let me get a full nights sleep!!!!!!!
so maybe that bad day worked out to be very positive indeed.
Lyn x
Hi bluefish
That solution sounds like heaven to me - well done! I have a husband but our parents were all too elderly to help out much when our youngest was born. Our eldest would go and stay with them occasionally, which they, he and we enjoyed very much. Our youngest would never go as he is too anxious. My mum stays with us sometimes but she doesn't really take much notice of the boys (
). My oh has always left for work at 7.20am so he's never been much help in the mornings and for about 10 years we were looking after his elderly parents, so he would often go straight from work to help them and again at the weekend.I can look back now and realise I let many things go because I just didn't have the energy to be disciplined and have rigid guidelines like I perhaps should have. When you're so tired you just want to lay down, there is no way you feel like having big arguments and standing your ground over some rule or other. However, that is not the end of the world. My boys are growing up lovely now. We have had major probs with the youngest (mainly due to anxiety), but he is gradually coming out of that now.
As long as kids know you love them, they will overlook being snapped at/shouted at from time to time. With my eldest that was the only way he knew that he had pushed me too far - he wasn't able to 'take the hint' from a glare or other body language, he had to see a demonstrative display of my emotions (which at times he did frequently!!).
Don't beat yourself up, and when you're having a good day praise your son and, if he'll let you, give him a big hug and tell him you love him
. You best take this approach with your mum as well - keep her onside !!!! -
Do you have first hand information of EXACTLY what Gary McKinnon did or are you relying on possibly distorted information from the mainstream media?Is the information from the conspiracy theorists any less distorted?
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It's hard to let stuff go though, isn't it, as you feel it's just another situation where he got his own way...Ahhh, that's what 'other people' (and Baddad) would say. I would say we are bending the rules, er.. I mean.. being flexible, so that they can cope with life.
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Hi KezT
My eldest was a bit picky but always ate a little bit of everything. When he hit teens he got more hungry and so ate more. He'll eat pretty much anything now, but he doesn't like pies (for example) as when he cuts them they 'fall apart and are messy'. He tends to like foods that are 'separate' and not too hard.
My youngest has been/is extremely limited in his eating. Now he is 13, whilst consciously being aware he should eat more healthily it is still extremely difficult for him to face trying anything new. He gets very anxious about it. He has recently tried broccoli, lettuce and baby sweetcorn (and not liked any of them, but at least he tried). He will occasionally (about once a month) eat some apple slices. He will regularly eat a few slices of raw carrot and a few (about 4!) peas on a Sunday with his roast chicken and roast potatoes. He will eat cheese and crackers. Other than this it is all crisps, biscuits and cakes.
We tried the 'leave him and he'll eat when he's hungry enough'. Several times he went 4 days without eating anything at all. We spent 2 hours trying to get him to eat half a slice of carrot once. You can't realistically force a child to chew and swallow (I have tried in the past
)I have detected signs of his appetite increasing as he is currently undergoing a growth spurt, so here's hoping
.I know adults who are very restricted in their eating habits, so either forcing them made them like that, or forcing them had no effect at all !!! (That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it
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'Other people' have no idea what we have to cope with as parents, do they?!!!
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Hi call me jaded
Fair enough
.Do you know what can be done about it, can people be 'un-mercuried', or can it only be prevented in future, or is more research needed?
I believe Alzheimer's has been linked to aluminium. My in-laws both had dementia and were very proud of their aluminium saucepans they'd had since their wedding in the 1940s. Could be coincidence of course, but there could be something in it.
The trouble as I see it is, if researchers go looking for a particular answer they may well find it. Whereas if they go in open-minded and look at various possibilities they may not find that particular answer. Eg. Andrew Wakefield found (I think) the measles virus in the gut of children with autism who also had bowel problems. That may not mean the measles virus caused the bowel problem, it may not mean it caused the autism, it may not mean the bowel problem and the autism are caused by the same thing, etc. They just not do enough of the 'right' research to answer the necessary questions.
I hope you find what you are looking for, it's just not my way of dealing with things. But it's a good job we're all different !!
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Hi
I'm reading Why are they so weird? what's really going on inside a teenager's brain by Barbara Strauch.
Whilst the title is a little off-putting, it is actually a very scientific book about how the brain develops and new (as of 2004!) discoveries about it. I am finding it fascinating and very good at explaining teenagers' seemingly unpredictable and irrational behaviour.
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My son is 12 and recently diagnosed with Asperger's. Our latest dilemma is that he needs a brace on his teeth (not just a little wonky, he only has one central incisor at the top as his other one didn't come down). Two years ago he had an operation to remove an extra tooth that was lodged in his gum and he coped with that really well. However he refuses to brush his teeth daily (we're lucky if he does it twice a week - ugh!) so the dentist is obviously reluctant to put a brace on in case food gets stuck and rots his teeth. We've tried all kinds of things to get him to brush his teeth (rewards and explaining clearly why he should eg doesn't want painful ugly rotten teeth), but it's as if he can't possibly imagine that scenario as it's not happening now. He has had problems with not liking the taste of toothpaste so he uses a milk teeth one, not perfect but better than nothing. He's seen people with bad teeth and even commented on it himself but doesn't put two and two together and see that could be him- as if it's so far in the future it doesn't matter. I realise it's all part of his Asperger's and not being able to imagine/ visualise but don't know what to do next. He's the same over having baths and wearing clean clothes. Clearly we can't force him to have a brace but he's a good looking lad and we don't want him regretting this when he's older. His incisor is now off centre and the gap getting too small for the other tooth to come through naturally. He looks like he's had a fight and had it knocked out! Having Asperger's, he cares very little for his appearance but still manages to pull off looking cool somehow.He has always gone to his orthodontist appointments reluctantly (with bribes, basically
) and now is refusing to go at all (he has one tomorrow). I don't want to get into a situation where I'm offering him big bribes to go to the orthodontist as if he doesn't brush his teeth it will amount to nothing anyway. He also refused to go to his last appointment with our family dentist. He's not needed treatment apart from his operation so doesn't have a fear of the dentist - he just doesn't see the point.Should I just give up on this one? It totally doesn't bother him having mad teeth!
Hi Esty
Join the club!
My eldest has always been good at cleaning his teeth but at 14 after having 2 teeth out so 2 adult ones had room to grow, he needed 2 more out but refused to have it done. It was the injections that were so traumatic for him. He also needed a brace but I knew that was a non-starter. We had a lovely orthodontist who was very understanding and explained that if he was willing to put up with the 'less regular' appearance of his teeth then they would leave well alone, and he could have something done later on if he decided to. He hates showering and washing his hair and does it once a week very reluctantly, though I don't think any soap or shampoo is involved!
My youngest will wash (occasionally) but hates toothpaste and used to tolerate the milk teeth toothpaste. Since they changed their range he has to use the 0-3 one, even though he is now 13, as it is the only one like their old version. My dentist said the only difference between that and adult toothpaste is the taste, so I don't think there is a problem.
We have tried many different toothpastes to no avail. I even tried Fennel toothpaste (yeuch!), as my son hates mint. Recently I have discovered a whitish gel toothpaste which I myself much prefer to ordinary toothpaste as it is not 'pasty', IYKWIM!! However, most toothpastes including the gel ones all seem to slightly 'burn' my son's mouth. He would use a non-burning cheese flavoured toothpaste if there was one
. I think there is a gaping niche in the market here !!!! -
http://www.dentalwellness4u.com/mercurydetox/autism.htmlhi everyone -i recently came across this -i just wondered who else had heard about this ?
ive just looked on the net and never relised before that there was mercury free dentists too,has anybody else looked into this at all?
Hi rainbow queen
Surely there must be many, many people with these fillings whose children are not on the autistic spectrum? Maybe not on here as we are here because of autism, but in the wider general public?
I am 1 of 4 girls who all have these fillings. Out of our 8 children (we have 2 each), who have all had the MMR, 2 are diagnosed on the spectrum and 3 others show traits. My eldest son who has AS was starved of oxygen at birth. My ring finger is longer than my index finger, which is meant to correlate with my sons receiving more testerone in the womb. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law show clear signs of being on the autistic spectrum, and some of my family show traits. My children did not have any adverse reaction whatsoever to the MMR - I have heard of children having temperatures and screaming for 24 hours and their leg swelling up. Autistic traits start to show up at about the age when they have the MMR anyway, and my eldest son was extremely 'different' from birth anyway (in many good ways as well as not so good ways!), even though he is on the milder end of the spectrum.
I can understand people looking for reasons, but I personally don't have the energy to expend looking for answers which won't change my or my children's situation. Questions should be asked by someone, but I don't like it when websites and other sources of media are basically scaremongering as it can cause a lot of possibly unnecessary stress and anxiety for people.
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Hi Mandapanda, he's not very verbal at all and his understanding is very limited indeed, I know that he wants to look out of the window which will be why he is getting up there. He reacts very badly if he is told 'no' and it makes no difference to what he does anyway, we are obviously not taking our eyes off him but it is frustrating working out how to explain dangers to him when he doesn't seem to understand even basic sentences and he only understands a limited amount of words!!!Hi concernedmummy
You might assume he wants to see out of the window, but things aren't always as obvious and straightforward as that. My son was forever 'calling' the cat with a little noise we make. One day when he was older I said "why do you keep calling the cat when your are walking away?". He said "Oh, I thought it was comforting him." (I felt really guilty questioning his action then
!)Could you possibly put a step near the window with some cushions around, so he can look in a more relatively safe place? Or could you perhaps lift him up to look out of the window, perhaps first thing in the morning and last thing at night and talk about what you can see. Maybe when it becomes a more normal activity it won't seem so attractive.
Saying no may not mean anything to him. Relating the word no to the action he is carrying out is actually quite a complex process. It might be worth trying to just calmly (if you can!) lift him down each time, without making a fuss. We managed to stop our eldest pulling all the CDs out of the rack by doing this. It took about 3 months and was exhausting, but eventually he gave up and realised it was more fun doing something else as we wouldn't keep taking him away.
I do think you would be best getting some more knowledgeable advice from the NAS, due to your son's difficulties with understanding.
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i know its off topic , but im sure some of you can do flexible thinking and not crucify me. mandapanda my son is 22 . I have been waiting for him to 'grow up' for years. With some autistics pictures/social stories make no difference. Not everyone with autism is as able as your child, yet some people cant grasp this and think there is an answer. Not all problems have solutions. None of you know GM yet you sit there and judge! What do you think is going to happen to all of your children once they are adults? Autism doesnt dissapear unfortunately. GM has AS, cut him some slack, you harsh lot.,as you never know, one day, your adult may do something without knowing the consequences and i bet you wont want them to be judged by others who dont know himHi lisac
I apologise for wrongly assuming your son was younger. Your situation would rather appear to be a good example of what we are trying to DEFEND. If your son was in GM's position, it sounds like you would be totally justified in including AS in any defence. Your son would perhaps not realise the seriousness or consequences of his actions, or would be unable to resist the urge to do what he was doing, and would not understand any impact on other people. Someone in this situation needs this defence to be given proper value. If people use AS as a defence when it did not hinder/disable their thought process or realisation of the illegality of their actions, then your son's defence would not be given the credence it should be given.
GM has admitted he knew what he was doing was not just wrong but ILLEGAL and he did it anyway. He did not just look for the information he wanted, he left messages and apparently deleted files. This is not harmless and can cause losses of information and a financial cost. If I had a company and he did that to my computer system, and admitted he knew it was illegal but did it anyway, I would want the proper legal process to take place. If someone like your son did it and genuinely did not understand the enormity of what he had done, that would be a different case entirely.
It is my understanding and concern and compassion for people with AS, and my knowledge of the very varied level of comprehension and ability that people with AS can have, that leads me to wonder and discuss whether GM is genuine in his use of AS in his defence case. Perhaps it is being used because he has NO OTHER DEFENCE for his actions, and not because it was genuinely a factor in the case. I hope this explains my point of view better.
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if i got in touch with JK publishers ring or email them do you think be interested in the AS/MH poems i have done so far of sent them sample of my work as proof? and explained my official diagnosis of AS/dyspraxia MH probs your thoughts and ideas? would they help raise money to fund this project my dream? could this be a opportunity worth taking???im desperate to be noticed???Give it a go, you won't know unless you try. Type a covering letter and get someone to check it, then GO FOR IT! I personally wouldn't phone them as I feel that is a less professional approach to a large publishing company, and you are unlikely to get to speak to the most relevent person. Sending by post would be professional and hopefully less likely to be overlooked. Just be prepared for either rejection, or no reply at all. They are probably a good publisher to get in touch with and, at the very least, hopefully they can offer some advice.
Good luck.
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autism makes me jealousautism doesn't stop for no-body nothing
because it careless
i hate that dress
feel such a dreadful mess
somedays makes you think and feel lifeless!
Hi smiley1590
Great poem again! I see this emotion in my youngest son sometimes (obviously not about dresses though!!). Mind you I have felt like that about being extremely short sighted and having to wear glasses when I was younger. I wear contact lenses now, glasses made my eye look like little piggy eyes, it coloured my whole view of myself at the time.
Can I suggest you put more of your poems in posts together as I think people will be more likely to read through them - I know that might sound like the opposite of what will happen but they could think 'oh, another poem' and skip over it, whereas if there are a few they may feel it is more 'worth' taking the time to read through. Just my thinking.
I hope you're doing OK at the moment.
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In answer to lisac's points, I believe we are totally justified in discussing this for several reasons.
People with asd vary tremendously and can have very different levels of understanding and ability, including understanding of consequences of actions. If someone with asd says they knew something was wrong/illegal but did it anyway, it may be because 'they wanted to do it, so they did it'. Just as my son, when younger - about 8yrs I think, collected Hot Wheels cars, so when he saw one at the doctor's surgery, he took it. He knew stealing was wrong, but he wanted it so much it overrode that conscious thought. Asd children particularly will react emotionally to situations rather than with conscious thought. Now, however, my son is 15 he would not do the same thing again. His emotional reactions have lessened and the conscious thought has a certain degree more control. Is this because of how we dealt with earlier situations and taught him, or is it just because he is growing up? This is a very important point where crime and a defence of AS is concerned. If GM had a different upbringing would he act/think differently, or should growing up have curbed his thoughts/actions? Or is his AS more severe that he is more 'disabled' than my son - although that does not appear to be the case from hearing him talk.
Media coverage leads to building up of stereotypes in people's minds, whether it be about terrorists, gay people, catholic priests - whatever. This is not in any of our interests.
I am sorry to use this 'simile?' but I can't think of another one at the moment, but a woman crying rape when she has agreed to it devalues the true claims of raped women. A person crying AS when it is not sufficiently impairing to them to 'cause' their crime devalues the very real situations some people with AS can find themselves in - truly through no fault of their own. This is why this is so hotly debated by us all.
lisac - just because your son does what he does now, it does not mean he will still be doing equivalent things when he is grown up. It may take a lot of discussing with him, using pictures/social stories, but he can probably learn not to do it, either that (or as I wonder above), maybe he will just grow up and not do it.
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Hi concernedmummy
How verbal is your son? Could you/someone else draw some pictures showing a favourite toy doing the same thing, with 2 or 3 endings showing different outcomes.
Asd children can be very rule-led but they can also act impulsively, but you may find there is a 'good' reason for him doing this, eg. a different view of the room/outside.
I would suggest talking to the NAS to see what they suggest. It strikes me that the NAS should perhaps develop some cartoon type leaflets to help parents explain dangers like this to their children.
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UPDATE
Mj is going to be doing GCSE Eng Lan, Early Modern History AS, Philosophy AS, Biology AS, Applied ICT AS, and Japanese ASSET course (a basic course, supposedly equiv to GCSE but still won't enable him to do Russian after
).
I contacted school about retaking History and they 'don't do retakes'. I said "what if he can't do the course he wants because of low grade?". They said "he won't be the only one in that position". They said he could retake it next year, but then he would have had a year of no teaching. This makes no sense to me. I asked why college would say to speak to them about retakes if they don't do them and they said "you'll have to ask college that".
I can't believe that if they don't get the grade they want they cannot retake it somehow. I'm going to call college again and perhaps speak to Connexions. Although he is still able to do the AS History, he wanted to get a better grade in the GCSE as it would look better if he wanted to take it further in future.