alexmum2

I understand Tally and everyone else who has mentioned that he may be missinterpreting things I have thought of this but my instincts and past exeriences have convinced me that this is most likely not the case.

Yes indeed

Thanks lisac for your kind support

Many thanks for your kind concern it helpd just being able to tell someone of your worries. got an email form the head of subject studies who said he would look into it and get back to me; left a message for this teacher yesturday (who has given my son so much greef) to contact me to discuss my concerns; However she has not returned my call as yet. Took my son to CAHMS meeting today; had a very understanding phsycologist listen to my son's concerns then he spoke to me on my own, I ended up crying when he explained what my son had told him, there were things that even I was unawear off that my son was experiencing.Just made me feel so proud and humble that my young son was takeing all this heart ache and worry on his own shoulders because he didn't want to complain too much to me and appear as a nusisance. I have told him he could never ever be that to me, and that i am here always for him.

Just like to say that I know this women must have some problems for you aren't the first person to have said this to me, Baddad can say what he likes but I don't agree that I hear what i want to hear or agree with only those who back me; there may well be people on this forum like that I'm not one however. Yes I must admit I was very cross when my son came home from school as this has been ongoing and I've come to the end of the line. Still waiting for her to call me. Thanks for your support.

While i don't wish to get into a debate about this I feel I need to point out that you are entitled to your opinon but I do feel i know my son better than anyone you may or may not feel that about your children well that's up to you. As for the teacher who responed with the fact that her teaching methods are different well she is hardly likely to pull down another member of staff at a parents evening to ourselves, she was more tackful than that; but she felt strongly enough to move our son without me even requesting it. As for the TA she too would be highly unlikely to bad mouth a teacher to my son. I am not a parent that sees what they want to see or agree with what i want to hear, like i said before my son does have his faults and i'm happy to put my hand up and say this to anyone ,he also drives me insane sometimes however for all his mis givings he has never hurt or bullied anyone' also to have such a bad reaction to her outburst then that tells me one thing it must have been pretty horendous added to the fact the home school book disappeared shortly after the TA made the comment about the teacher having the outburst! I've just got back from the GP with my son who is off school today because he is feeling sick drowsey and is very pale and a short time ago I nearly called the ambulance as he was bent double in agony luckily the pain subsided after the worst 10 mins I have experienced in a long time, the GP stated he was haveing stomach spasms due to stress. I put this topic forward to find out if anyone else has been through this kind of thing with a teacher and what was the out come.

As always Sally44 you relpy is full of common sense; yes I will write a letter to school when i've spoken to the head of studies and to the teacher involved, but at this moment I feel so strongly about this situation I am prepared to take my son out of school and pay for private tuition of this subject if nothing is done. At the moment because of yesturday my son is off school he says he feels drizzy headachey tired and just a moment ago he had a panic attack, so I've taken the day off work and made another appointment at the doctors. Thanks again for your words of wisdom they are much appreiciated.

No I don't know any other mums to ask about this teacher as we have only just moved into the area and all my son's school friends from his previous school are not at this school, the only one i can ask is a freind of mine who's daughter is in sixth form. But yes that is what I would have done had it been possible. The TA has said to my son when he has complained to her about this teacher that she feels she can be a bit strict. I have asked for this teacher to contact me when she has tha time to explain to her that i have requested that my son be moved to a differnt class for this lesson and I am going to explaine why. I have contacted the head of studies for this subject' requesting a move as yet I've not heard anything.

In response to your comment about my son not being a reliable source of info' he doesn't lie, that's not to say he is perfect in every way to quote your other remark( his exemplary behaviour) which i might add sounds a tad condescending. We know our kids better than anyone we know how they work and I know it's not something he would make up! When you have a teacher that lacks in confidence they tend to target the less able less confident kids. Also at one point my son was haveing a shared lesson with this teacher and another teacher I spoke to the other member of staff and explained that my son wasn't happy with this particular teacher and even she said that this teachers methods of teaching were not hers and arranged for my son to change his lesson and have both lessons with her.. So even other staff members are awear of this teachers attitude. My son's Ta has also said that she is or can be over strict. It's one thing being bullied by other kids it's quiet another to be bullied by an adult. Also I have come across this kind of thing before, another his last TA behaved like this towards him and I made mu own investigation I asked the other kids in my son's class and they confirmed exactly what he was saying(he wasn't around when I asked them) just incase your thinking well they would say that wouldn't they.

The first day my son started secondray school he was very scared but to make his fear worse one of his tutors decided he was the one she would pick on and bully. In his home school book his TA mentioned that my son had a server nose bleed in class after he was told off by this teacher apperntly she was having a difficult time cntrolling the class; and i feel she used my son to vent her anger and bring her class in oder. My son was so stressed he had a nose bleed ( he handn't had a nose bleed in over 2 years up until this point! Every time he had a lesson with her he was so scared of going to school because she would use any excuse to tell him off even for the slightest thing, she even told him off for twidling with his pencil! My son told me that no one else in his class gets told off the way he does even if they do something realy wrong which only confirmed my fears that she has it in for him. He sits on his own at the back of the class and is very quiet so for this evil person sees him as a the perfect target. It's got to the point where I don't want to send him to school when he has her for this lesson; so I have sent an email to the head of this subjet requesting that he be moved to some one elses class for this subject. what is realy sad is that it is his favourite subject. recently he had some respit from her because they took him out of this lesson to do social club but unfortunately it was a social club that consisted of just him and his TA! She said she couldn't take other kids out of there lessons so i said he doesn't need to learn to socialise with adults he gets enough of that with his father and me he needs to socialise with his peer group. As i felt this wasn't working they moved himback to the lesson with this bullying teacher. Today he had a lesson with her and she screamed and shouted at him because he didn't understan something (bareing in mind he had missed an awful to of class because of this waste of time social club) he had a lot to catch up on; I asked him why he couldn't ask his TA to help him he explained that she was helping someone else! Tomorrow I am going to the school to confront her as to why she feels the need to bully my son and to explain to her why I've put a request in for him to be moved to another group God I am so angry i could slap her!

I know how you all feel my son too was never invited to parties perhaps the odd one or two but not many. I would have parties for him and most of the kids he chose came but very few invited him to their parties. I remember reading somewhere that to help your child get friends it was a good idea to invite kids from your childs class back to your house for tea or on outings to interesting places so that your child would be popular which i did ( like a Fool) my son would invite some one to go to the cinema or seaside or adventure parks ect and we would end up paying for them; after a while when our son never got invited back to their house or for outings we stopped, I felt we were just being used as child minders. It's very hurtfull to see these kids handing out invites and your child not receiving one especially when you invited them to your childs party. I remember one party he was invited to was a swimming party at our local sports centre; I decieded to wait as it was a long way to got home and back; (most mums went and came back later for their kids) I watched my son on his own in the pool not one child came up to him and asked him to play even though he knew them all, it was heart breaking after that I never made him go to another party again.

Hi szxmum, just read your message on posative experience; i would just like to say how happy I am for you both; after all you and your son ahve suffered over the years something good has happened I and really pleased for you. Because of this post i read your other posts and I would like to say that the post square peg in a round whole is exactly how i have felt about my son'sexperiences with school also my son who has just started secondary school has like your son mentioned to me that he has felt that most of his school life is like hell on earth and I hate myself for making him go but what choice do we have we either home educate in which they never have much opertunity to mix with peer groups and get fed up playing on the computer all day every day. so like you I worry all the time about my son's future, but you comments have given me hope, in that your son has come through it and hopefully mine will too. Goodluck

Hi Joanne1 My son is dreading going back to school he was in tears tonight; and no I don't think there are any good secondary schools out there that can help our children but having said that I haven't had much experience with secondary schools that have special needs deptments; as my older children didn't have AS my problems started within the schools system when my son who does have AS started school; we have had nothing but problems from the teachers not listening to us, bullying thats never delt with, being put in classes with other kids who are disruptive and abusive just because I feel he has AS (my son is none of these) be made to do contact sports which he hates being laughted at because he cannot run as fast as every other kid the list goes on. I feel for you. Hopfully he doesn't have much longer at school my son is only in year 7

My son never lets me know if he has had any house points I seem to find out by accident; dont know if he is proud of them or not or if he just forgets to tell me. Also as for detention it doesn't work for my child because if he is badly behaved there is usually a reason for it! he's been goeded or wound up by others to the point where he can't take anymore but the teacher only sees his bad behavoiur not what went before.

Thanks bike mad for your support just haveing support form people give you curage.

Hi please forgive me if I have already replyed to this I'm still finding my way around this site. Yes i konw what you meen you have to be on as good a terms as you can manage with the school staff as I have learned to my cost; if ever I mentioned any thing negative about the treatment of my child or their ability use stratagises outlined in his statement they would make his life even more difficult than it already was! Also i would never trust any member of staff as in the past they have white washed over really serious issue that only come to light by accident or long after you can do anything about them. Yes i agree it's disgraceful what they think they can get away with.

Hi Sally 44 what a great reply I agree with all you say and i am not going to take this laying down again! they have moved my son back to his original class after the annual reveiw; I explained to the Ed Psych that was there ( never had one before at an annual review ) that I wasn't happy about the move she said that she didn't have the power to move him back but she would speak to the senco ( the senco was out of the room when she said this) they said that if he missed behaved again they would move him back, but after reading your reply there is no way i will let that happen! Like you say they should have stratagies in place to cope with any challenging behaviour, also he only misbehaves badly if he is stressed by something (wound up by other kids) Also statements were read at the reveiw from members of staff who teach my son and they were all very possative EVEN the teacher from the class were he was moved from! this made me very angry and i challenged the senco about it ,she made some feeble excuse about the fact that the teacher may not have notice my son behaving badly because his TA most likely controlled his behaviour so that the teacher didn't notice (is she for real or what?) Anyway thanks again you realy have helped you've made me think (yes of cause why didn't I think of that!)

<'> <'> Thanks spike for your support; since I wrote this we have had an annual reveiw and yes he is statemented for 25hours. In the reveiw several teacher gave statements on my son progress and behaviour in there classes and all were possative even the teacher of the class he was moved out of!which didn't fit in with what the other teacher (the one that had it in for him) was saying! So I insisted he be moved back or I would make an appointment to speak to the head also it was suggested that if there was any future challenging behaviour then move him back I said at lease give him a chance, and I would eat my hat if there was! So the moral of this story is fight for what you believe is right! Just to say we have only just been offered the help of CAHMs.

My son is quiet good in a subject at school; he had a work partner that he worked well with the (only friend he has in the school) and not a close friend at that just one who says hello and maybe chats with him at lunch time some times. Well there was a blip in his behaviour one day (he was particularly stress this particular week due to sex education lesson that he found difficult to cope with) anyway because they moved him down a class and put him with a group of kids that in his words are noisy disruptive and generally the dredges of the year. He feels totally let down and his likeing of the subject is deterioating because as he says he wants to learn and they don't; plus the fact that this teacher seems to "have it in for him" since his blip. We only realy became aware of how bad the situation was when we went to a parents eveing and spoke to this teacher who was quiet clearly very negative about our son. This prompted me to contact the head of studies by email as i couldn't get hold of her any other way to which she wrote me a letter exlpaining that he was doing well in this class and was not prepaired to move him. Not happy with this ineffective reply we made an appointment to speak to the deputy head to ask why he was moved to a low group when this was not an academic issue. She said she would investigate and get back to us but we felt she was just making noise but will not move him. My question is do you think this is unjust and how can we force them to move him back?