Willow-Tree

Nobody did say it would be easy, I was just saying why it isn't really an option for me right now, unfortunately. We did consider it last year instead of school, but travel would be costly, and I'm not very confident outside alone, and I would have had to have travelled alone. It's not that I can only wear black, it's just that I can't wear burgundy. Obviously if one came up that was the right colour and the school were happy with it, and it was the right material so that I was happy with it, then I'd give it a go. But, all uniform suppliers that I have checked don't make jumpers out of a material that I can deal with. The vest idea would be useful for winter if nothing else is solved yes, I've just had the polo shirts professionally fitted so it would be a struggle to get anything under it! (lol) But yes, that might be the only way to go. I did attempt to go yesterday with just the polo shirt but I had a panic attack for one reason or another, so didn't make it. I've looked on google for black cotton trousers, unfortunately, the school don't allow any linen type material or any denim type material, and other than that I've found it very difficult to locate a suitable pair, as I have had a few in the past that apparently aren't allowed. My inside leg is 34" (33" at a push) and most lines of clothing don't go up to that leg length. I'll check, but it doesn't say in our planner that we are allowed a skirt, and I have never seen anybody in one, so my guess is that it's not allowed. Thank you for the ideas though, I'll give the vest thing a go, and look into the skirt thing, but I keep having panic attacks so I've not actually made it to school yet to see if they're okay with it. I'm also not well at the moment as I have practically stopped eating and sleeping, so Mum's a bit worried.

Kathryn - Thank you for your understanding, it is much appreciated. <'> The agreement was never confirmed in writing - no, unfortunately. Flora - I've had teachers comment on how smart I look and I've always explained why I wear a different jumper and no one has ever had an issue with it, not even students, until just before the summer holidays, when the deputy heads started kicking up a fuss. Bid - The school also have an issue with my trousers as I have to wear cotton because I suffer from eczema on my legs. But the only pair I can find in a suitable style and the right leg length apparently look like jeans to the school (depsite being pure black). We tried to resolve the issues for some months without solicitors, and for a while we were told that the black jumper was fine. But when it was evident that they were going to make it difficult in such an important year we felt we didn't have much choice. As when we last spoke to them about the issue before the summer, they told us how to resolve the issue (get a burgundy jumper OR a doctors note explaining exactly why I need a different jumper, which I went to my psychiatrist for) they still weren't happy, so we felt we didn't have much choice but to contact a solicitor. We are not very confrontational people and so we didn't know how to resolve the issue, having tried and tried before to do so. NobbyNobbs - I'm not against the uniform in a 'rebel' kind of way. I appreciate that they want their students to look smart, and after all, when I first brought the jumper issues up, I was told to wear a black jumper instead. So I did. I can't just 'go to a local college' because I would have to travel alone on the train and then walk alone to the college and I am by no means confident enough to do that, and sometimes not even safe to. And by the time I could start (next September) I would be entering inot the same year that I should be in and as I have been in both my local schools in my correct year and been bullied extensively, I would feel uncomfortable ending up in the same building with them all over again. Oxgirl - Thank you for your support, as I said in response to NobbyNobbs, there are reasons why I can't just 'go to college'. <'>

I'm sorry, the solicitor suggested that I should be treated as a sixth former taking GCSE's lessons, I should have made that more clear. The solicitor also said that if the school are willing to bend some rules and not others, or bend rules for a year (letting me wear the jumper for a year) and then changing their minds, it's all a bit confusing as to WHY they keep changing their minds. Yes I looked at the burgundy jumper that was suggested but it's not the right colour, and I know how picky the school have been about colour so far as I now have two jumpers that aren't acceptable to them, which is wasted money for me. They have said they will get me one specially made, but have not said if it will be in a material I can wear, so that again would be wasted time and money. I have tried everything to get a jumper that they will find acceptable. I didn't mean to sound like I was taking the 'I can do whatever I want' attitude, I just meant that, when I came back to this school they said obvioulsly I would be treated the same, but that they would try their best to help me through the difficulties I might come across, having being bullied out of two schools and having had a nervous breakdown and at one point being diagnosed as having a phobia of school. So obviously it was going to be difficult for me, and I've had a lot of panic attacks about a lot of things, and they haven't been very supportive, the jumper is one thing in a long line of things that have gone wrong in the year that I have been there. I've tried to go to school in just the polo shirt, or an almost burgundy jumper but have panicked and had to stay home. I thought that people here would have understood about routine and issues with fabrics etc. It's that I've worn the black one for so long that I'm so used to it and I find it very difficult to go to school without wearing it. I'm sorry to have bothered you, and sorry if I sounded pathetic or spoilt or whatever, it wasn't my intention. I'm just going through a hard time, and I realise how stupid my fear of being at school without a certain jumper is, but I've tried to compromise with the school, like I have with a lot of things and it's just not working. Many thanks, Willow. And also, as I said, it's not that I don't see the school's point, I do. But they haven't gone about dealing with it very professionally. I don't even get the same punishement as everyone else. Which is another area they treat me differently. They send me home, they put everyone else in isolcation for the day. And, they let me go without phoning my Mum, because I'm 17, when last year, they said that I'm their responsibility and would have to notify my Mum, so they keep changing the rules. And when I'm in a panicky state I'm not safe to be out alone as traffic noise overwhelms me and I go into meltdown, and the school know this, and still they let me walk home alone in tears.

I am 17 and I am voluntarily back at school, so I don't think they should be enforcing the same rules on me as they do everyone of mandatory school age. If I get through school I would give them A* and A grades, which would look good for them. I am basically a sixth former who is attending GCSE classes. I don't attend RE or PE because I don't need them and I have issues with them, and they allow me to miss those, which is something they wouldn't do for the rest of my year. So they are being extremely pedantic about a jumper. If they can bend the rules about one thing and not another. And if they can let me wear the jumper for a year without hassling me, but now cause such a fuss? It's not that I don't see their point, it's the way they have chosen to go about dealing with it.

Hiya, thank you for looking for me, I'm not sure it's the right colour though, and I've wasted a lot of money on wrong jumpers! I'll see where I get with the solicitor and then make a desicion. Thank you for the support though

Hiya, it's 85% viscose and 15% polyamide

Yeah, she will be helping. It's just a lot of stress for us all. Mum has 'a lot on her plate' already!

Hiya, I recently re-applied to the DLA because the first time I filled it in I didn't really know what to put because I'd only just been diagnosed and I didn't really fully understand what about me was due to having Asperger's and dyspraxia. So, I got their letter back today and they have still only awarded Lower Rate for both Care and Mobility. And yet, I need more care than my 9 year old Autistic brother; where some of his care needs are still quite reflective of his age, nearly all of mine are not. So, me and my Mum have decided to appeal it. I think I should get at least middle rate care. So, now I have to fight that, as well as fight the school (see my post about being sent home on the first day of school). HELP ME! Many thanks in advance for your support. I'm only 17, I'm really struggling with all of this. Willow

I'm allergic to fur and feathers. But if I had to pick, I would pick rabbits.

Hiya, the school have replied to my solicitor, they are sticking by what they've said about the school jumper having to be burgundy. So my solicitor is emailing back trying to exaplain EXACTLY why that is going to be a problem. But he has also taken note of the materials that go into my black jumper, to see if he can contact anyone that will be willing to specially make one for me. Even if we get one, I know I will still find it difficult. But, what am I supposed to do? Willow

Yeah we looked for the entire summer holidays for a jumper and it's just not happening. For some strange reason, we couldn't find one at all, never mind about in the right style/material. And besides, they said to either get a burgundy jumper or to get a note for my black one from a doctor or psychiatrist, explaining why I couldn't wear the normal one, which I did and they still sent me home so...

Hiya, unfortunately I'm still stuck in school. (Don't know if you've seen my latest post about it) I have velcro shoes at the moment, that are by a 'fasionable' brand. I think that's the best way to go about it. Although to be honest, a lot of shoes these days are slip on, (which is what I wore before I found my velcro ones). I think a lot of boys tend to go for slip on 'loafer' (not sure if that's the right term) type shoes. How is he with slip ons? Good luck with it Willow

http://www.footyboots4kids.com/football%20...amp;lace=velcro This site seems to have a few different styles and sizes all velcro fastening. Or you could always just try www.ebay.co.uk and search for velcro football boots in his size. Hope this helps, I myself am really poor at laces and I'm 17. From Willow.

Hiya, I got the letter from my solicitor yesterday, which means the school will have recieved their copy yesterday and so should be repyling to me/the solicitors in some way today. We have still heard nothing from them, and they should have contacted my Mum to tell her why I was sent home, what she can do about it, when I can go back etc. So, I'm not pleased with it at all, because I have checked with my friend and I have missed all the introducations to the course for year 11 at school. And I've missed being informed about all the upcoming exams, etc. Basically, everything that would have given me some sort of stability. So, now when I go back, everyone will be 'in the know' except for me, which I hate. From Willow

I'm hoping that I can get it sorted through my solicitor. I'm hoping that when the school get a letter land on their desk from a solictor that they might just back down...maybe. Finger's crossed.

My Mum said that! And the solicitor said something similar (making a joke out of the situation). Because it's so ridiculous.

We had a new headteacher, it was his first official day today. Would be awesome to cause him that much trouble in his first week. It's because of him that the new rules are stricter.

Hello. A couple of months ago, in the last term of the last school year, before the summer holidays, I got sent home for wearing a plain black jumper. Just to give you a bit of background, I have been officially diagnosed as having Autistic Spectrum Disorder and also dyspraxia, but it has been noted in writing that I am more Asperger's than Autism. I attend a Secondary School two years out of age range, so that I can get my GCSE's, after leaving school early because of being bullied. I cannot wear the official school jumper as it is a disgusting material that completely freaks me out to touch, and it is a round neck, which makes me feel like I am being choked, and so the whole thing is just generally unpleasant. So, my head of year agreed that I could wear a plain black jumper instead. Problem solved. Well, no it wasn't, because toward the end of June a Deputy Head asked me to take my black jumper off, and I said that I couldn't because the top underneath (the official school polo shirt) was baggy and that it irritated me, but with the jumper on top it made it tight, so I could deal with it. And she persisted to ask me to remove it, despite me saying I couldn't, not that I wouldn't. And anyway, long story short, she ended up ringing my Mum and sending me home, but not before my anxiety and stress levels reached maximum and I had the worst panic attack of my life, but she still sent me home, and I collasped/fell over outside near the main road, so had to go back into school and get first aid to help calm my breathing. After that episode, we thought they might understand and let me wear my jumper. But...no. They said I could wear it until I got a doctors note for it, or until I found a burgundy one. It's not easy to find a burgundy jumper, nevermind about one in the right style/material, so I got an appointment with a psychiatrist and he wrote to my school saying that my anxieties with the uniform, inparticular the jumper, were understandable given my diagnosis. So I went back to school today, with my letter and my black jumper, happy and comfortable with the situation and for the first time in a long time, not nervous about school. But, as soon as I walked through the gates I was met by the new headteacher, my head of year and a few other heads of years. All greeting people, etc. And my head of year called me over and told me I had to go home because of my jumper. I was expecting this, so I had my letter in hand, but he said it wasn't good enough, and that now my trousers too are unexceptable. (They are a jean like style, but are completely black in colour and are made from cotton, not denim. I cannot wear polyester or any of the other material that smart trousers are made from as it sends me insane). He told me to phone Mum and go home. So I went to the office, and they told me to speak to a Deputy Head (not the one from before) and she told me the same, that the letter didn't mean that they could make an exception and that it would be a major problem for me. And so I walked home in tears. My Mum was furious, and I rang my Dad and he was equally mad at the situation, so me and my Mum marched down to the solicitors and got seen straight away and everything was written down, and an email has already been sent to my school, and the hard copy (letter) will be posted to them (and me) tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes. I can't attend school until I agree to wear a jumper they find suitable (or until I make them let me wear my black one). The problem is, they let me wear it for so long that it is now part of my school routine, and my comfort zone. I fought really hard to get into this school because of my age, and the situation being so unusual, I'm not going to give up fighting now! Sorry about the length of this rant... Willow

Hiya, Just to update you all, it was my first day back at school today after the summer holidays, and I got sent home before I even got through the door. Because I wear a plain black jumper, not the offical burgundy school jumper. Because the official one is intolerable to me. I have just put a video blog up about it. And I have loads of other video blogs now too. I'm devastated that I got sent home, because last term the same thing happened, only they were so ignorant of my disability and they wouldn't listen that I had a panic attack. And so I now have anxieties about the whole situation making it really difficult to go back at all, but I did and I was okay with it. Only to be told I had to go home. And I can't go back until I get a suitable jumper. But, for almost an entire school year they allowed me to wear the black jumper, and so now I am used to it and it is in my routine and it's where my comfort zone is and everything so it's just all so terrible right now. I went to see a solicitor with my Mum today, and they are going to contact the school. I didn't say that in the blog though because people from my school might see it and I don't want the school to find out before they get the letter. Blog about getting sent home: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwtKZQpXRhI My YouTube page: http://www.youtube.com/user/WillowMarsden Anyway, Thanks for reading/watching, Willow

Hello, I can play recorder quite well, I learnt whilst at school, I can't read music, but they didn't know that! I just used to start at the page and look like I was reading it. I could copy what everyone else was doing though and remember it, or play it just by listening to it. I can also play the piano (well, I have a keyboard), but again, I can't read music. It's more difficult for me to play that by ear, but I have taught myself to play Fur Elise, and someone else taught me how to play a song by Enya. But that's where my ability stops. I can't seem to learn anything new anymore. I have tried over and over to learn to read music, but I can't look at the sheet, process what it all means and play the notes without looking. None of it happens fast enough for it to sound legible. I also cannot dance. I can remember what it is to do, but I can't put it all together and keep in time with the music. Again, things happen to fast for me to process it all in time. I once tried to play the guitar, but it was too fiddly. I also sing, but that's not really an instrument! I also try to find logic. Well, I sort of try to find a logical reason for my being able to play. It doesn't serve a purpose, so I sometimes don't want to do it because I don't understand what it's for. And then I decided that it's because I enjoy it. Mostly. It does annoy me that I can't read music, or play more fluently though. ( This is me playing Fur Elise: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azbn4I3kBOE This is me playing the Enya song I mentioned: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmIoISZjSnM...feature=related The only two things I can play fully and fluently! I'm not sure what to tell you really, because I still haven't really got over any of the issues I have with playing instruments, so I guess this was all a bit pointless me saying. But there you go! Good luck with finding an instrument, From Willow

No I'm not sure about an OT but I saw one along the way somewhere!

Well, under 18's can see a peadiatrician. And I think occupational therapists can diagnose. Not really sure. It just depends on how obviously you present the typical triats that they initially look for. Because with me, I'm not too 'obvious' and they took the best part of 2 years deciding. But I think that has to do with my age, because I'm a 'teenager' they think they can blame it on thinks like hormones! Good luck with it all anyway.

Hello, it depends how old you are. I'm 17 and was 16 when diagnosed, and they won't specifically say Asperger's, they just say 'Autistic Spectrum Disorder' which is fine I guess, I know I'm closer to Asperger's though. Who are you seeing? A Psychiatrist? What are the reasons you asked to be assessed? It's a difficult process to go through when you don't present obvious 'triats' clearly. I myself try my very best to hide my Asperger's when I am out, and I try and be formal when I meet people, so they never think there's much wrong. But after listing all the issues I have they've finally decided that I am indeed on the spectrum. It's hard to tell you what to expect when I don't really know anything about you Sorry that wasn't much help! Willow

Agreed

I agree with that. I'd like to see people go through what I've been through and then portray it as humerous, as I'm sure many would agree, it's just not the case.