matzoball

That's brilliant Paula, you all must be chuffed to bits for him! So glad to hear that everything is going great for him Good luck! jxx

I agree that it is dangerous to set precidents in which the partner who has asd has to defer to being the 'bad guy' purely because they have autism. However I do not think this is the real issue at heart here. Forgive me for being presumptious, but I feel this has been written by someone who has only just started to come to terms with his dx, and is obviously having marital troubles due to the dx and he is trying to make sense of it all. No one knows Barreys personal circumstances apart from Barrey and it seems he is trying to do something positive as he comes to terms with it. This is only my personal opinion. Barrey - I think it may be more helpful to perhaps do some more research on asd and relationships before you continue writing your article - perhaps even speak to other male autistics on here to maybe gain some perspective and perhaps get some advice. The NAS may be able to point you in the direction of relationship counsellors who specialise in dealing with asd and relationships.

I'm on my 6th tattoo now - and about to go get my 7th(a sleeve piece) - however I agree they aren't for everybody! After my first two awful tattoos now I always wait at least a year when I have seen or drawn a design I like, and then wait even more - they are with you for the rest of your life so it's always best to be absolutely sure! At least with piercings you can always take them out! I had 8 and now only have three!

In regards to the programme - it was great. I thought the driving instructor Julia was wonderful - she is a true inspiration. I was asked by the NAS to become a speaker and was very unsure due to confidence issues etc, but after seeing her nail that speech in the programme I've been given the bolster I need to start giving speeches of my own. She provides an amazing service for people on the spectrum who want to take that step and get behind the wheel, she puts herself out there and teaches other driving instructors to understand our needs, and she educates people about being on the spectrum - and that makes her a personal hero to me. Well done BBC for putting this on.

AandA - I don't think apologising for upsetting someone then attacking them a few posts later for the same upset is at all empathetic, nor called for. People who care for someone who has severe autism cannot possibly understand the difficulties that the other side of the spectrum experiences and vice versa. It does not make those difficulties less real or hard to deal with whether they are severe or less so. We all want to be understood on here, and in the outside world - so perhaps creating divisions where there should be strong bonds isn't the way to go. Having a difference of opinion is one thing - personally attacking someone is another.

just attended second appointment with my mum - the psychologist says that even before we go through the next assessment appointments that it is her opinion from what we have discussed so far that i am a high functioning autistic then even went so far as to suggest my mum is too - i am really really confused now! 4 more appointments to go apparently...

i went to the psychologists on tuesday as what I thought was part of my care package finally kicking in - then when i went in the psychologist starting taking me through the disco proceedure! I asked why when i already had a dx and she said I had been referred by my new doctor when I changed surgeries - I thought all of this stuff was on the computers and in my regular doctors notes? I got really upset but she said that I needed to do it again - she's even asked for my mum to attend next week for the second appointment! Has this happened to anyone else?

irregular periods can be often be fixed with taking the pill, but there are lots of different methods that may wok better for you. does the tummy troubles happen all the time or just when you are due or having your period? i ask this because i always get a funny tummy at that time because of the bloating(perhaps tmi!)

at the initial disciplinary i didn't have anyone in with me because they gave me a days notice with no paperwork, and they said all this stuff that i know i didn't do(and i later found enough proof that i didn't) - and said they had tolerated it until that point. then they handed me the final warning. then i appealed it with the union on board, the rep was nice enough but useless as a rep(basically told them to take pity on the poor disabled girl). i've also got an appointment on tuesday to go to the cab as well - taken a whole day off so i'm sure that will please them haha

They didn't give me a verbal or written, they went straight to final warning as apparently gross misconduct goes straight to final warning or dismissal. The bully is mates with one of the directors so as I said he gets away with a lot. But for now i'm going to do what i said earlier about prospects etc. and keep my head down xx

I sat down with my manager again this afternoon, and he pretty much said 'well, what can you do?'. I didn't feel the bullying was down to my AS until he started calling me retard, and has done a couple of times since in conversation to other colleagues. I'm going to request the prospects course, as I think that doing that alone will show them I am serious about involving someone in some kid of official capacity. If that doesn't have any effect, I'll be heading down the union route as has been suggested. The final warning was classed as gross misconduct as I went awol(outside) - so they went straight to final warning. I just have to keep my head down for another 6 months til it drops off my record. I've already started looking for another job as it's not a place I want to be anymore.

We both sit in a bay of desks with 4 other people, and when he says all this stuff they just groan and then laugh. He gets away with murder because he plays the 'old card', or the 'he comes from a different generation' thing - I was given a final warning for going outside the side door to have a panic attack so I know they just don't give a ###### and see me as more trouble than I'm worth.

Everyone at my work knows I have AS as my manager informed everyone right after I told him 10 months ago, the guy who winds me up knows as he sat and asked me all about it two days after he got moved to where I sit. He doesn't do it to anyone else so I know he is bullying me.

8 months ago I got made to sit beside an older guy at work - he knows how easily wound up I am and that I take things literally a lot. He constantly says racist, sexist and homophobic stuff(such as my Uncle deserved to die from HIV because he was gay or my best friend should go back to the jungle because she's black), and I know it's just to wind me up. I complain at least once a week to my manager who says I should just ignore it because he's an old man and he's doing it on purpose just to get a rise. Just because I am easily wound up doesn't mean that there's an open invitation to do so. Yesterday he asked me to help him with his emails, I showed him what to do and because he didn't understand he started shouting at me so I walked away. When I walked away he started swearing at me so I told him to shut up. I had to go to the toilet to calm down because I started having a panic attack and when I came back he tried to apologise. I told him just to leave me alone for a while and he started swearing at me again and calling me names like retard and stupid. I had to go outside because I ended up having another panic attack. I spoke to my manager who said he would talk to him about it - and when he did all he told him was to stop having fights with me. Nothing about my asd and how it affects me, nothing about the fact he is bullying me. I told him the next step was me bringing in Prospects and he said nothing. I don't want him to lose his job but I really don't know what to do.

http://www.imdb.com/news/ni2039600/ this actually made me sick to my stomach - what's going to happen to the kids who are now depending on that school as part of their routine, or the parents who relied on them for support?

fantastic - keep it up!

i thought it was brilliant - still a bit lost after david tennent going but i was rally enjoying myself by the end of the episode also love the fact that there is a scot in the tardis again(well a scot that actually uses their accent haha)! wonder how captain jack is going to react?

thanks

just wanted to apologise for the(now reading back on it), completely manic post! things have calmed down, and talked out, and as a result our relationship is a lot better. i think being near a computer when i am upset is generally a bad idea - even deleted my twitter as a precaution lol again sorry for the rant! jxx

the purpose of blogs is expression of ones opinion - and as we all know it's hard for people like us to express ourselves through the usual means(face to face, telephone, groups etc). i think vlogs(video blogs) like these are great- they might not be saying anything inherently interesting in of itself, but the fact that someone on the spectrum is able to relax and express themselves via this medium is not only interesting - but wonderful.

from what you said earlier as well - this person isn't doing you any good - you need to maybe speak to a counsellor who will be patient and let you say what you need to say and feel what is right for you to feel. your nan would not like to see you this upset and i bet she would have a few choice words to say about this so called friend. you said she is close with her gran, well she is going to feel bad for treating you the way she has when her gran passes away - you would never make fun of her if she coped with it in her own way because you act like a good friend. but being a good friend does not mean you take any kind of bad behaviour from her. good friends treat each other with respect. and you definitely deserve respect. please do me a favour and speak to someone about grief counselling. it helps, believe me. chin up kiddo.

had half day from work to get co-codomol for sensory related headaches - new doctor decided i didn't seem like i was on the spectrum even though it took me 10 minutes to explain something that would take someone else 30 seconds. ended up arguing as he was trying to say i was just depressed - don't know how he got that from 'i am having headaches because of my sensitive hearing please help me' so that got my back up in meantime boyfriends cousin is getting married - boyfriends mother after saying i had nothing to do with family asked me to help get dj for reception as someone at work does it spare time. got a quote and waited on word back from her - she tells me it is 'to deer' which i take to mean too dear and that an ex friend of boyfriend is coming to 'weading' isn't that fun haha. ex friend currently is spreading rumours about me and boyfriend(which i shouldn't get upset about so i've been told), and physically ignored boyfriends mother in street after knowing her for 19 years. this is all because i am going out with bf. last friend of his ended up getting married and got the same treatment except he turned up at their wedding with a crowd of troublemakers to try and stop them from getting married. he won't try and ruin this wedding, but i am angry he is going and worried because he will spout all these horrible lies to my boyfriends family who already think i am wierd. i won't make any scene and be civil even pleasant, as it is a family wedding and it is not right to get into any kind of confrontation like that. i know i can trust myself to not make any negative impact on the big day. but i cannot help but get stressed about what might happen even if logically i know that there is no point being stressed over 'what ifs'. i know myself enough that when i find out something negative, and that i cannot control the outcome i become very stressed and over react. but it is only a very short intense outburst and i am okay once i have time to process it. when i phoned boyfriends mum to talk about it - she didn't even say hello she laughed at me and i could hear boyfriends sister in background laughing at me because they said they knew i would phone once i found out ex friend was going. then she told me i was stupid and just had to deal with it then said if i was going to 'get ill' over it i shouldn't go. but when i tried to explain why i was stressed she said it wasn't my problem and to remember i was going with family and not to bother if he said anything. now i am not even bothered about the wedding i am bothered about boyfriends mums attitude to me and my AS - she says i don't have a real disability and that i don't have problems like people who have wheelchairs etc then when i have meltdowns because of stuff she says she makes me feel stupid and low and not worth a damn. can't speak to boyfriend as talking about mum is off limits. i think his mum hates me because i am a problem in her eyes and not good enough for her son.

That sounds awful, I didnt know whether to tell people at my work about my ds - but had to due to a meltdown in the middle of the office. He may actually have grounds to sue his work as he's been publicly humiliated and singled out due to his AS? It might be a good idea for your partner to perhaps approach him in a friendly way and let him know there is someone on his side there?

no one has the right to make you feel like that about your gran - like you say if you said something like that to her she wouldn't take it. if that's how you choose to be reminded of your nan then that's no ones business but yours. you need to tell your friend that she hurt you by calling you weird and that you need her support instead of the way she is treating you. you shouldn't feel bad for coping with things the way you do - if she is your friend she will understand that you had to take care of yourself when you were going through the assessments - it's a ###### big thing to go through! if she is making you feel guilty about all of this, it might be time to look for a new best friend, because you deserve better than that! JXX

welcome to the forum I was diagnosed last year aged 32, so i know what you're going through! i put my mental moments down to being a daft scot haha