stressedmumto2
-
Content Count
1,015 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by stressedmumto2
-
-
I have the opposite problem, my son is very sociable and seeks out friendships, usually the wrong kind with the wrong kind of kids, I have tried relentlessly to be more fun in comparision to friends but he wants their company, he's out all day long and in the rain it drives me nuts.
Today he is meant to be going to a family party but refusing to go, I know he doesn't like parties but it's with his cousins and I have tried everything to persuade him to go including good old bribes!!
Set that aside I have also asked him if he would like to go to the cinema with me, just us to watch whatever he wants but he can't bear to leave his friend behind so he's also refusing that option saying i'll go if he can come, um no thankyou I am trying to get you away from him!!
I just wish he wasn't like this, I know I should be garteful he has a friend and can play out but his friend is like an obsession, from 7am this morning my son had been aksing to go and play with this child and it's taken everything to keep him in till 9am, ususally this friend wanders up here at 8am sometimes before. His friend also has special needs but gets chucked out the door early or is it that he's like my son too and keeping on to go out and the parents just give in??
I've thought that as my son meets other children he wont be so obsessed in this child but the only time they are apart is if they have had a big fall out, however as they are getting older theire fall out's only last a day, eeeekkk
Sorry this was a long reply and no help to you but I think if you can get your son along to some clubs that are interest to him, i.e. computers, pokemon etc then he will meet other children who enjoy the same interest and friendhsips could then develop.
<'> -
My 9 year old going on 12 year old will still occasionaly hold my hand in town etc, he can be very loving on his terms and at bedtime wants me to sit on bed talking to him or waching a video with him. He will sit on my knee and did so last night when we had a bar-b.
He's growing up too fast so I treasure these moments like mad
<'> -
Hi Enid,
I remember situations like that so frequent with my son, only he wouldn't hide from others but from me or he would just wander off wih others. I've now got to the stage where I have given him a list of places he can go but he still wanders further, I have provided him with a mobile that on the agreement if he's out he has to take it with him and he has to answer his phone if I call. He has my no' saved on it and other family members so if he's stressed he can at least call one of us or we can call him. I also set the alarms 10minutes apart so he gets a 1st alarm then a second alarm and he know's he has 10 mins extra to make it home from the 2nd alarm, there are consequences if he doesn't get in at the right time, either no bike the next day or no going out unsupervised.
I have found so far it's been working quite well, although I still can't keep track off him and his wandering off is the biggest problem but he is in many ways acting responsibly, his friends all remind him too when his alarm starts going off and also tell him to answer his phone when I am calling. I have tried to make sure that his friends can also be responsible for helping him and slowly it is being drummed in.
I wander if giving your son a phone but using the same kind of agreement will work with him, in that if he does get stressed he can be in contact if he wants but also know's that by the time the alarm goes off he has to make it home or the next day he can't play out or whatever consequence you give.
Good luck and i'm glad you found him safe
<'> -
Jenrose no matter how you feel today went, you done your best and the panel would of taken all of that on board.
The LA do tell such fibs at tribunals and I could go on and on about the ones mine told but it wont help you.
You've done what you have done today and I think even if you don't get the result you want you will keep fighting to make sure your dd gets the support she needs and that is what's important.
Put your feet up tongiht, have a glass of plonk if you drink and relax, there's no more you can do for now but I do think you have done really well. I do not think I could of faced tribunal by myself
<'> -
Mumble your post just reminded me of my last move.
My daughter two days before was taken into hospital with suspected meningitis, turns out it was just a viral infection but she was in hossy for 5 days, dad who usualy worked away from home had to take care of many of the things, in between me rushing around.
If I or the children were to fall ill this time I wouldn't end up moving so I need to stay strong but it's a gd idea, lol
Bard I like your suggetsions/advice especially the take away one, lol
<'> -
I know your feelings but you can do it
<'> you've come this far already <'> and if you don't fight for your child chances are they wont get the provision they need, cos no other ###### will do it.Try to get a good nights sleep tonight and have a good brekkie in the morning. I'm feeling quite annoyed myself as i've now been waiting 19 working days since my tribunal and the results are usually out within 10 working days.
I will be thinking of you tomorrow but just try to stay calm at all times, take care and remember you're doing your best
<'> -
Thanks for the link j's mum. I may be moving soon and i'm useless at preparing myself. I know I need to get rid of bits now but I can't bear to throw things away.
Good luck with your move SG
<'> -
Everything crossed here too. Stay calm and focused, if you don't understand something ask them to repeat the question. I've had representation at my tribunals but parenmts can do it by themselfs, you know the case afterall. Stick to the fcats and try no to get angry when/if the LA try to play games and lie.
Will be thinking of you
<'> -
J's mum and J
<'> <'> How horrible for both of you, recently my son come of his bike badly and we had to to to A"n"E it was a nightmare. We have a big trampoline in our garden with a net around it and I am always worried too, especially as my son tries to do backflips!!I hope J has a speedy recovery and doesn't get too bored
<'> -
Call the police and get it reported. Hope hubby is ok now.
<'> -
Hedders if your dd is a bit of a chatter box it may be advisable to ask th school to do her a social story backed up by a visual chart for no talking at such and such time (whenever it may be that they have to be completly quiet) it's often very difficult for the child to know when they can and can't talk so having visual reinforcers is a good place to start before punsihments are thrown in for non compliance, plus there may be a need from the school to understand why she continued to talk was it that she felt there was somthing really important to say?? or was it just normal chit chat.
I was a chatterbox at school and it was one of the things I would get into trouble for!!
-
It's an illegal exclusion and Cat has covered it all.
My son's mainstream would also do this too him and half a day off does equal to have day exclsuion which does add up if they put it in writing!, once they add up to so many days it can become a permanent exclusion and maybe they are tring to avoid this with just asking you to take him home, however if they are stating he is tired in the afternoons then they need to make reasonable adjustments to allow him to continue to go to school for the full day, perhaps with trying to give him more 1-1 support for the afternoons.
I think you definatly need to take it up with the head and if you still don't find it satisfactory then contact the governors.
I hope you manage to get things sorted
<'> -
Hi Warren,
Thanks really appreciate this
<'> -
Good luck with this, why don't you write down a list of concerns as it's quite daunting trying to remember stuff on the appointment. Hope it goes well for you
<'> -
Hugs to you and your DD>
< <'> -
Hi, thanks for all your posts. I wrote a really long reaply earlier and thought I would be able to go back to it but have lost it, arghhhhhhh
Ok this morning I made a compromise with him in the end he could have the bike in two weeks when I would have the money, but he still couldn't handle that so in the end I told him that would mean 10 days off going to school and trying to be good, we compromised it to be 8 days, which in hindsight if he could manage that at the moment for 8 days in a row we would achieve something, but I feel like I have majorly given in. He will have to earn the equipment he wants and to be honest with you I think that if he does get it he will feel more ordered in himself.
So today I have made the charts so he can tick off the days and done an aggrement with him that he can sign so that he fully understands it is his b'day present, I think in all honesty I made the biggest mistake in the first place making things uncertain for him, in many ways I am the same as him and need to know when things will definatly happen or it can stress me out a huge amount just not knowing.
I have been to the shop and i've worked out a maximum on what I will allow him to spend and I think it will work out ok, i've seen him in the same turmoil over not being able to get tadpoles form the local swampy area as it wasn't season and his lack of understanding leads him to become very frustrated which then leads to more stress, he simply ends up feeling unable to cope.
karent my son is exactly the same and over the last few days he's not been eating his normal amounts of food, been very picky with choosing only to eat pot noodles and the sound sensation he's experiencing has become abit unbearable for him, he thinks I am constantly shouting even when i'm not!!
Kazzen my son says he got hit in the eye by the head whilst being restrained, at first the dep head denied it saying he was stood close by and never seen anything of the sort happen, then I recieved a call later in the day to say the head did chat with my son after he accidently poked him in the eye when he was restraining and that my son was fine about it.
Thanks again for all the advice, I just hope he's had a good day at school
-
Hi Mumble sorry to hear you are feling stressed at the mo and I hope you start to feel less stressed soon, you've had some good advice here which I have also found really helpfull.
Liz c how you describe things is exactly how I am feeling alot at the moment and I didn't think I was stressed, maybe I am, a few years ago I used to suffer very badly with panic attacks and thought I was having heart attacks and it was very scary, at the time beta blockers did help.
<'> -
Fantastic news about the new home j's mum, I hope you and J settle in very well
<'> -
Can someone help please and answer this question form me on personal experience or maybe they have read it about it somewhere?
Do the obsessions become more intense when the child is highly anxious?
My son is quite anxious at the mo', he's stopped taking strattera and overall he's been much better in the home, no major aggresive behaviour and out-bursts, however the last few weeks, and more recent days he's been very intense about having something I simply can't afford right at the moment. I know it's more than just an interest as it's taking over his whole thought process from the minute he wakes till the minute he goes to sleep and he can't cope with the not knowing when he can get it. His friend is getting what he wants sometime over the weekend so all the boys have been quite hyped about it, he also says that many of the other kids take the micky out of him cos his present equipment isn't very good, plus he sees the equipment he has as majorly holding his progress back, with a full explanations from him I can see where he is coming from in a way.
Part of it is my own fault for saying if his dad gave me half the money he could have it before his b'day which is 4 months away as an earley present and this has made him more insecure and badgering for it to the point of saying he isn't going to go to school. Yesterday he refsued to go to school after an incident the day before when he got hurt during a physical intervention, he's built a worse case scenario around it happening thinking it may happen again.
He's also had a major change in his class with a new teacher starting and a change of ta's, he's in a special school and this year already he's had 3 different teachers and 3 different ta's. I know it can be helped in some schools but it's been totally disruptive for him and his mates.
Could all the stress be contributing to his obsession? I would like to know what others think?
-
Excellant video and I really enjoyed it too. You're all brill
<'> -
Hi Karen, I know it varies from area to area but when you can't evn have access to the criteria, well that's another thing, lol
-
My son 9 howls and makes other noises, sometimes it's from excitement and other times I think he does it to block out other sounds, such as me talking, dog barking etc.
It may be that she is blocking out other sounds, is she doing it at school at all?
<'> -
Can someone help me please and tell me what mod learning difficulties would mean in their area. Would there be a criteria set out or would it be down to IQ as it seems to be in our area for a child being able to access the child and disability team.
Thanks in advance, I'm confused
-
I wish in so many ways my son was a bit like a few of your's. Initially I tried to force my son to stay in the garden and my attempts at making the garden a non-escape zone were folied everytime he was left in the garden for just a few moments. I have a big garden so he had the space he had toys to play with and still wans't happy. Most days after school I would take him to the skate park or the beach even in the cold and then I started to invite the other children ino our garden but he would still escape. Some of my very first posts on this board were related to him escaping out of the garden and from the car as I was pulling into my drive desperate to play out with the other children.
My son pushes the boundaries, we set times and areas he can safely play outside and he pushes them so that he can go further afield with his friends, mostly to skate parks in our borough, there are about 8, it is quite scary and so often I wish he was just wanting to stay in the garden so at least then I know where he is. the only good side I can say is he does appear very street wise although he is still very vunerable, he can go ino a shop and get me one or two items, he gets confused when paying for items but he's learning and he has made friends.
I would never force a child to play out who didn't want to but I would encourage others to come in and play. Parenting is a hard job, so often I think I am doing the wrong thing but who really know's what the right thing is anyway when every child is different.
<'>
Ed Psych
in General Discussion
Posted · Report reply
I would definatly ask to see the report and ask her what her intention was for asking those questions. When my son was seen by an ed physc for his statement, she asked him stupid questions like what are your qualities, to which my son replied I wear cool clothes, and many other nonsense questions which they way she presented them to my son were done in a way he could say anything and didn't have to think about giving an answer to the question from an educational point of view, I think she should of asked what are your best qualities at school for a educational response. Her report stated that he didn't seem stressed about school, at the time he was out of school due to refusal and frequent exclusions and I think her questioning was to show he had no difficulties in school and to lay blame with parents.
My son has seen many other professionals and recently seen a psychiatrist who asked my son do you have a best friend and why is he your best friend, to which my son said because I have know him for 3 or 4 years, the consultant also asked my son why do people marry, to which my son replied I don't know and I don't really care. When I asked why he asked these questions the consultant said they are basic questions from the ados test just to see what my son's answers would be, to get an idea of his understanding, so maybe the ed physc was doing the same with your son. You will only know if you ask her.
Sometimes the ed physc may ask these questions to make the child feel comfortable, many times children feel more cofy when they can talk about their family.
I would just ask her and see what she says, good luck
<'>