Paula
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Posts posted by Paula
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My son is normally placid natured............when he was yunger much younger he would have temper tantrums and be stubborn but hed rarely lash out............as he got older the tamptrums dissapeared as he gained more understanding and we learned his ways..then when he hit the teanage years hed do the usual stomping round and take himself to his bedroom and kick the bed and slam the door............normal stuff i guess his sister now 18 did the same thing.........hes never hurt me not in the big scheme of things hes lashed out to get me away from him or out of his room and if i havent moved fast enough then hes caught me with his foot as hes kicked yes hell front up to me and shout and i refuse to back down .........on occasions hell raise his fist and you can see the struggle in him as he tries to controll his rage...........but hes never punched me,hes lowered his fist to me face but stopped and not made contact.Thing is i stand theire and refuse to move because i feel if he thinks he can intimidate and scare me then hes won.So i refuse to budge untill i want to not because hes thretened me.Sometimes i realise i handle it wrong but hindsight is a wonderfull thing.
Youre son may be taller than his dad coz my sons dad is only 5ft 10 and im 5ft 6..............he toweres over his dad also.
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My son has started to say he wishes he was little againe ...................
It makes me sad too .
Jsmum i wasnt judgeing you for calling the police as parents we do what we feel is right at the time i dont envy you the position where you have to call the coppers not easy,i hope it never comes to that with my son.
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I love dr who me i get right excited at it all i was literally cheering when i saw the daleks and cyber men pop up.
Im into star trek too and deep space nine and star gate atlantis and stargate and stargate universe and voyeger ...........think you get the picture.............ive seen the new star trek film around 6 times so far and still cant get enough of it ............cant waite for the next film saw something on the net about it............i like star wars too........i guess im a bit of a geek when it comes to this type of thing..............Thing is i love watching films over and over againe because i like to spot everything about the film im into how stuffs directed the musical score costumes lighting the lot it can make or break stuff.................
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Thanks for the advice and understanding.
I could never go to the police over my own son.
There is always a reason behind his outburst and thankgod they are few and far between.This year is going to be a toughy but weve had tough years before and coped.
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Its not easy for sure..............
Hes the picture of inocence today .
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Smiley
Ive had eating issues all my life i understand exactley the fealings you are haveing.
Up until the age of 16 i was fine then i suddenly became more aware of my body and although id always been realy slim five foot 7 and at the time a size 8 i decided i wanted to get into exercise............to cut a long storey short by the time i reached 18 i had gained weight through being depressed and stuff and was suddenly a size 16 i went on a diet and lost the weight and it was this that triggered years and years of eating problems.
I used to not eat for days on end i fealt horrendous but wanted to remaine slim after id lost the weight ...........then id be so damn hungry id binge eat for days on end then id feel guilty and starve myself this went on for years at one stage i fealt so guilty after eating that i drank salt water in an attempt to make myself sick.
I would have periods where i was reasonabley well and would eat kinda normally but it wouldnt last long..........i was also very very secretive over my eating habits........if i was going out for a meal with family then to appear normal id starve all day so that i wouldnt take in too many calories during the meal yet could eat it all up so that no one would realise.
I was extreamley unhappy and desperate for the binge starve cycle to end..............i look bakc at photos and i can now see how painfully thin i was yet at the time i fealt i had to be thinner........
I contacted the eating disorder associating it was a place where i coudl be honest about my habits a place to talk and they also did a news letter.......its a while back now so im not sure hwta they do now.
I still have problems regarding self image food and weight and im 41 so ive spent a hell of a long time like this......im now a healthy weight 10 stone and a decent size 12 and i try not to let it get a hold of me againe but its not easy............when i start to get scared and my husband says youre not fat i now choose to beleive him rather than what my own mind tells me because it can and was often wrong......the photos prove i was seeing things wrongly.........
People often think food issues are purely about weight but controll and fear are often at the root .
Please get help talk to someone a gp or a freind dont spend the best years of youre life like i did in misery.
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I thought it was brilliant and matt Smith was perfect as dr who...............he was very different to david tennent but then david tennant was different to christopher eccleston.I thought the story was great and the new assistant is brill basically i love dr who.............i was dead excited at the preview of all that is to come.......daleks,cyber men.weaping angels.........cant waite for saturday ill be tuneing in............
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There are good times and thats why its easy to forget underneath it hes still the same.Im not makeing excuses for his behaviour but there are reasons behind the recent increase in outburst.hes leaving school this year its a big change has hes attended the school a special school since he was 5 and he doesnt want to leave.Were hopeing hell go to the local college and do a foundation lifeskill course in the special needs unit but hes aprehensive about going.Things are realy hard at the moment for him with big changes afoot.........i guess the right chocalates inforced ridgedley are his way of maintaining some sort of controll...............
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<'> <'> Lou lou
My son is now 16 and stands at six foot 2 almost and weighs two stone more than me i cant do anything with him either not physcially hes too big and too strong and hes an imovable object.If things go wrong for him ..............then all hell kicks of and he is very agressive shouting pushing,lashing out kicking doors,threatening to leave .wed to call the coppers before xmas as he legged it and dissapeared on a bus ........luckily..............i say through gritted teeth.............we found him and home he came..............
When my son was younger it was easy to retraine him and gaine controll but not anymore.............If i use my voice and shout he just gets worse its like throwing petrol onto the fire and woosh he erupts even more.
Ive no advice what soever just wanted yu to know you aint alone and its easy for people not in this situation to say gaine controll or stay calm or disapline but its isnt possible and it isnt easy...............
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Why are the easter holidays so long..............
Its already staerting to drag me down im utterly fed up with it.
Then to top it all i made a mistake when buying my son his normal treat.............i pi9cked up m and ms instead of minstrals by mistake someone had put them back in the wrong place and i was in a rush and didnt notice.Sounds trivial but it was enough to send him flying into a rage and to cut a long story short i got a kick in the stomach for the mistake id made.It hurt........i just ended up on the floor in tears sobbing me heart out ............ i dont know what was worse the fact hed hurt me ,the fact ive had 16 years of this ######, or the fact he was utterly oblivious to my upset...........10 minutes after his outburst and rage he was carrying on as normal ............
I treid to say to him its wrong and why did you behave like that totally over the top but he was in denial and no apology was offered.
Im so fed up ive given 16 years to this lad to brining him up,all the sacrafices ive made so his life can be easier and for what to have someone who basically doesnt give a toss who appears to not care,who you sometimes think doesnt even know if youre there or care one jot about you youre a nothing to them.............Somedays i just want out..........but of course i cant ..........i love this paine in the backside aspie son...........so i plod on.
Years ago when he was around 7 i got to the point where i couldnt take no more and i took an overdose...........
id give anything in the world for him to be bloomeing normal.................i just want normality.
Sorry for moaning on...............i know he cant help any of it and i know to him the wrong chocalates were a big big deal............but sometimes you just want to scream...............
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Imajine my poor mum.........i was 41 two weeks ago.............
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When i hear stories like this i get scared for my son and his future ................
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karens right i do a lot of weight training at the gym as well as cardio and i actually weigh more now a stone more than i used to weigh before i started at a gym but my body shape is firmer and better and im still the same size clothes i was when i weighed a stone less.
people focus in too much on weight its about being fit healthy and toned and happy.................
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I used to brush them when he was younger and he was more cooperative.........now hes 16 and stands over six foot tall wont cooperate and im unable to force him neither is is dad he toweres over him too.
he visits the community dentis wh deal with special needs adults ect and kids.......he has had sealents on his teeth and he also has them painted with flouride stuff every couple of months............im going to look inot flouride tablets
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my daughters 18 and my son is now 16 its like how did i get old enough to be the parent of an adult.
Hope he had a lovley day despite being ill and is on the mend.....
You look back and realise just how far theyve come and how much theyve acheived............
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Hiya Smiley
Clothes size is dependant not only on weight but on body shape and height and bone structure ect.
Im five foot seven and weigh ten stone and take a size 10,my sister is five foot 11 weighs around 12 stone and is in a size 14 but looks realy realy slim because shes tall and leggy i look slim but im a lot curvier than her due to being smaller in height with shorter legs.
Are you exerciseing as well as dieting.
If you want to change youre body shape ,get firmer ,tighter and build muscle which will burn more energy there by allowing you to eat more in the long run then exercise is the key combineing weights along with cardio.I go to the gym minimum of 3 times a week .Spin classes are great for burning calories....its where you sit on a stationary bike with an instructor and music playing its great realy gets the heart pumping and it is for all shapes and sizes and abilities regardless of how full on it can look...just make sure you take water youre going to need it.You meay be a pear shape but you can be a tight small firm pear thats what i like to think.
Good luck with the weight loss,dont focus in too much on actually weight go on how youre clothes feel and how you feel inside............
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Utterly fed up with trying to get my 16 year old son to bursh his teeth correctly.When he was younger and smaller.........now stands over 6ft............i used to do his teeth but now he wont let me but refuses to do them himslef.Or if he does he literaly does it for 10 seconds.............and removes all the toothpaste.
For the past 18 months ive been takeing him every single month to the community dentist to see the hygenist who cleans and plishes his teeth in an attempt to help.............hell allow this to happen is the perfect patient ...........wont do them at home though.he recently been prescribed some sort of special tooth paste high in flouride but low on taste and still he refuses to use it.Hes been back to the dentist twice in the past 10 days to have two fillings his first ones........
the ineviatble lecture came from the dentist one he hasnt seen before and i had to explaine how he wont let me do his teeth and how he hates the tast of toothpaste and how he cant breath through his nose and hates things in his mouth ect ect.............i thought god i feel bad enough as it is. I feel so powerless.I feel im doing all i can there arent many parents would take there child every single month once sometimes more to try to keep on top of the cleaning.
My thinking being eventually something will click and hopefully his teeth wont be in too bad a state..........
I know ive read post like this before but want reasurance im not alone in this and im not a bad mother which is what i feal like after the dentists dressing down..........
Its so bloomeing hard and no one understands im doing me best.
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Instead of giveing vitamin supplements why not try if you havent already upping the fresh fruit and veg intake in his diet.If hes anything like my son who is also 16 i realise this may be harder to do than it sounds but my son loves fruite smoothies and its a way of getting all sorts of different fruits into them........i also whizz up bannas in milk to make a milk shake and hell drink that.
From my own personal experiance ...............i suffer from aneamia.........this can make you realy suseptible to illness ........my iron count was that low they thought id have to have a transfusion im ok now but on realy high dosgae of iron.I also take perfectil tablets they promote haire skin and nails but containe alsorts of vitamins i feel a lot better on them you take 1 a day and i also take high dosage vitamin c and zinc every day............i do notice a difference in my general health and ability to fight of illnes and recover when i stop takeing the supplements............perfectil is available at boots quiete expensive as far as vitamins go but normally available on 3 for 2 and its the best supplement ive ever taken.
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yes i managed to get nappies for my son from the incontenance team.
I went via the health visitor route ........my son was four or five i forget now its so long ago..........and he still would wet and soil the bed............his reasonoing at the time was he was comfy in bed and couldnt understand why hed to get ut of bed to go to the toilet it was easiet to do it in bed hed never react or alert us to the fact and would lie in the bed all soiled till we smelt or spotted it and changed it.............thankgod this is another thing he grew out of.Anyway i couldnt get nappies to fit properly due to his size i explained this to either the health visitor or gp and they refered me to the incontance place and they issued nappies.My son is 16 now so maybe things have changed.
I tell you what helped my sons bowels flax seeds and oil in his breakfast............i also used to give him bergen bread its available in most supermarkets,its full of flax seeds and oil this would get his bowels moving just a couple of slices a day sometimes helped.My sisters little girl NT has tried this bread due to constipation and its worked wonders for her too.
Also i would sit my son on the toilet in the dark......i read somewhere that sometimes this helps something to do with reducing stimuli...........and id turn the tap on so he could hear the water running he once said at the time this calmed him.......sometimes hed sit there for an hour before hed relax enough and feel safe enough to go to the toilet.........he would say that he alwasy fealt better when hed had a poo and id say well then why dont you go more often his answer was he couldnt be bothered.............
Like i say try not to worry........i could have saved myself years of worry if id known hed grow out of it which he did.
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I could write a book to rivel war and peace on bowels and my son who is now 16.
He refused to do a poo on the toilet he would sit on the toilet but wouldnt go he held it in.His stomach was all boated it was horrendous.We were seeing the peadiatrican and he was put on movicol,and suppositries that contracted the bowel and cream to stop him from stopping the poo comeing out..........dont ask where wed to put the cream.
I remember id sit him on the toilet and hed sream the place down saying he didnt want to go sometimes hed be sat there an hour and do nothing.......hed got constant anal leakage.
We looked into his diet and cut out all the rubbishy foods and gave him a lot of wholemeal stuff and fruit at one stage but still he had this problem.
I wish i could offer a solution but we never found one...........Time........was the cure for our son.he got older hes now 16 and hes fine now in fact he goes to the toilet twice a day most days with no problems.I guess he just grew out of it maybe his bowel matured,maybe he started to reconise he needed to go well never know .Youre son might do the same.
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My son now 16 and due to leave his special school this year did work experiance twice .The first time he did one week in a local wood yard...........i was worried sick but he absolutley loved it.The second time he did two weeks at the local asda store working on produce.Againe i was worried and againe he loved it and seamed to gaine a new found confidence and a bit of a swagger.
My son wanted to do the work experiance............if like youre son though hed been adamant he didnt want to do it then i dont think id have forced the issue.Could you not say hell do the placement go through the motions and hope he changes his mind but if he doesnt then say hes pulling out,Im thinking he might come round to the idea.
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Im comeing at this from a different angle.
my asperger son now 16 went through a phase like this where he wouldnt listen was rude and a terrible teen also........
Our son would say he was behavieng like his sister.........his sister is now 18.........that he was rebelling like she did ....he would announce im a ttenager now.............I kinda thought perhaps he feels to be "normal" hes to behave like has he sees it a normal rebelious paine in the butt teenager.........
Maybe thats what at the route of youre sons recent behaviour..........maybe hes thining im a teanager and i should be a paine in the backside because thats normal.
That aside.......not easy but we always found ignoreing our sons behaviour to a certaine extent put a stop to it........a lot of the time he was just wanting a reaction....when he didnt get one the fun element went.
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Just an update ive visted the local college and visted the special needs provision and met the students on the foundation course my son would be doing and the teachers and support staff.My mind is now a lot more at rest,so ive contacted my sons special school and said its ok for them to take him on a visit and fill in the application forms ect if he wants to attend then its ok with me.It realy helped that the lady who runs the department had three children of her own all attending the unit all with very complex learning disabilities i thought yep she understands she gets it.
of course if my son turns round after he visits and says no mum i dont want to go then of course i wont push it he must deicde for himself.
Dr who...
in Off Topic
Posted · Edited by Paula · Report reply
Naff off baddad
kathryn is right david Tennant does do stuff on the stage also shakespear or summat i once saw him interviewed about it hes a good actor.
paines me to admit but im kinda in agreement of barrowman he does me nutt in hes very very full on and though i did enjoy Torchwood it kinda pushed the limits of credibility how everyone met captaine jack and no matter what sex or how straight they were they always ended up going gay and snogging him by the end scene even that bloke who had a girlfreind and she went into a cyber man thing or summat and then suddenly hes lusting after jack and there at it.........it was like lets watch torchwood whos gonna turn gay this week..............