fluffyblueberry

Hello, just to say, I'm pretty much in the same boat as you. I'm looking for someone to get referred to - around North yorkshire. My son was diagnosed with Autism just over a year ago - after reading a LOT I've realised that I must have AS. I really struggle with a lot of things and always have - I thought I was neurotic/crazy - I suffer from depression and ocd, major anxiety, huge anxiety in social situations. Plus there are sensory issues...I never realised why I couldn't cope in the supermarket lol... Anyway, I'm scared of going to the doctor too and I've put it off for the last few months. I also want to go to a doctor that's sensitive, it's problematic. I worry that it'll be thrown in my face. I want to be as prepared as possible. Good luck! I'd like to know how it goes for you

About a month ago I found a list of places that diagnose ASD in adults in the UK - I found one closest to me and wrote it down, now I've lost it and can't find the list! I'd like to make a note of where specialises in adult diagnosis before I approach the doctor. I'm in Yorkshire. Any ideas? Many thanks, Natalie

It's often a view chucked out there - that that people with Asperger's or ASD are more likely to suffer from Coeliac disease or gluten intolerance etc...Although, I have read that this is actually a myth and that people on the spectrum are no more likely to suffer from such things. I'm undiagnosed but have many symptoms of coeliac disease and am about to be tested. At the least, I do have a gluten sensitivity. I was just wondering how many on this forum have similar problems? Thanks!

Hi, sorry I meant to reply before - yes, I think it's better to be somewhere where you can excuse yourself. I think what you describe with your anxiety is, in many ways, what I have experienced regularly throughout my whole life since childhood. I think it has definitely got worse over time however, now that I have more expected of me and more responsibilities. Hi. I do not have AS.However several years ago I had a period of severe anxiety. At the time my husband and myself were lodgers with a single friend of ours. Ben was a baby and our elder son was nearly three. Over the course of several months I became increasingly anxious and found it difficult to feel safe. I very much used the house as a base in an effort to feel in control in order to cope. I became increasingly anxious if people visited or if my regular routine was interrupted. In order to try to cope I had particular jobs that I needed to do. For example I was washing the kitchen floor three or four times each day. If anything happened to prevent the routine I became increasingly agitated. Eventually the situation became unmanageable and my friend asked us to move. We found a house of our own and I had some psychotherapy. Having our own place with our own furniture and more space and privacy also helped a lot I am very well now. I still do not find change easy and would be anxious if people came to stay. However I am aware that the change will make me a bit anxious. So I would plan time out of the house for some of the time or do the garden or baking which I enjoy in order to manage better. I would also plan so that if I became more anxious than usual I could pop out even to the local shop. I have found that I needed to find a balance. When I allowed the anxiety to control me the range of things I could do got smaller and smaller until I felt safe in one room. So I learned that if I wanted to live and have a marriage I needed to do things that would be difficult at first. However it does not work to try to do everything at once as the anxiety is not then manageable. So I have learned to do things in stages. The strategies I have are very similar to the ones I use when planning an outing or new activity with Ben in mind. We can now have visitors to stay for example. However I would invite people home for a planned visit where I get on well with them. I would have a good idea of how long the visit was for and what we would do during the visit. If we arrange to see people where I am less certain of things going well I tend to arrange to meet up somewhere that is planned. If the visit does not go to plan it is much easier to excuse ourselves than it is to hope people will leave.

Thanks!

Hello, thank you for your response. I'm glad it was a straight-forward process for you, it sounds like a relief. I'm not sure it will be that straight-forward for me because it's not obvious that I have it, you wouldn't be able to tell if you met me, (I doubt). Even if you spent a lot of time with me, you would most likely put my behaviour down to other things... If it wasn't for my son having ASD, I would never looked into it and regognised myself so much in the books. But I'm still confused becsause I'm trying to sort out my self-identity again, I'd like to see another women with asperger's like myself and see "ahh I relate to you"...but I've never met another woman with it (to my knowledge!) and so I can't :/. Asperger's would explain so much that's happened in my life, I just want to know if that is the answer.

Hello, yes I have recently become aware of lime trees due to my son but wasn't sure whether they were involved with adults - I will look it up, thanks!

Hi! I'm in York!! I have a son (4) with ASD, (diagnosed a year ago). I suspect I'm on the spectrum myself and I'm looking into it. Welcome!

Hey there, I was wondering how those of you with AS/ASD feel about people coming into your home - whether friends/strangers/family members? For example, I live with my husband and two children, but I find it an absolutely traumatising experience if anyone from my husbands family come to stay or even stay near by when we need to see them every day. It would be the same if one of his friends stayed. I feel trapped, I feel that my home is my "safe place" and that if someone I'm not comfortable with comes in, it's extremely uncomfortable, I can't be myself, I am so full of anxiety and the anxiety can last for weeks beforehand too, (while I'm waiting). The only people I can stand staying in my house are my parents and one very close friend that I have - I think because they know all about me. But even THEN, I can get anxious. I feel better if I am going to THEIR house, because then I am in control and can leave any time? But if they are here, I can't do that, I can't escape. Do any of you feel that way? And how do you cope?

Hello, I just read a few of your blog posts - they're hilarious, I love it. I really related to your supermarket problems - I don't have it on such a big scale, but I have learnt that I must take a list or else I end up going in circles/confusion/anxiety - have often left with nothing!! lol, very frustrating. :/... Now I like to make one list, split it in half and give one half to my husband and I do the other bit. I hate it when he questions my list of puts extra stuff in when I'm THERE, if he does it off on his own then that's ok and I can just stick to my list. I'm not diagnosed yet but suspected after my son was diagnosed ASD. I'll keep dipping into your blog, thanks. Nat I have AS, and was diagnosed around four months ago. Following the diagnosis, I was a little frustrated that there wasn't a guide for exactly how I felt. I started writing a blog in an attempt to understand my own AS better, and thought that it may also help anyone else who may have AS or know someone who has, and finds it difficult putting things into words. Hopefully it may be of some use, it certainly is to me. Many thanks, www.whitecubed.blogspot.com Ps - if you have any comments, please feel free to post them.

Hi all, I'm new. I have just made a couple of posts in "beyond adolesence" but thought I should introduce myself here too. I'm 28, My oldest son (4 years) was diagnosed with ASD a year ago. Since then, by constantly reading, I have come to the realisation that I most likely have AS. It's been quite a shock for me and very difficult because I've ran for a long time from my problems rather than facing them. It was easier to pretend and push them away and avoid situations where I'd have to deal with them. Now I'm having to face it and face the past and it's very confusing for me. It feels surreal, if that makes sense. I'm probably going to look at getting diagnosed, but I still want to educate myself further first and feel more at ease with the idea. I'm really pleased I found this forum. Nat

Thank you... my mum has only just started to talk about some of the unusual things I used to do as a very small child - I was her only child, so she just thought I was a bit different but didn't question it much. I think she'd find filling out the questionnaire quite interesting.

I have only just written a topic - but thought of a second... what was the process you went through for your diagnosis of AS/ASD as an adult?? How long was the referral? What tests did you have to take? What were they like? How long did it all take? Private or NHS? Any insight would be beneficial. I'm hoping if it's not so unknown, I might be able to approach it with less anticipation :/

hello, thanks for your reply. I can't remember when I understood what some of my problems meant, I was probably quite young but I had no clue how to deal with it. Possibly if I'd known as a very young teen, it may have made things worse for me in some ways, I may not have been able to cope with it. But as an older one, I think I could have dealt with it and made better choices - worked WITH my strengths, rather than constantly pushing myself. I wouldn't have been so hard on myself. I think if I HAD a diagnosis, I would be able to start to learn to accept it and move on but because I'm in limbo here, it's difficult to know what to feel.

P.S. Did you know about AS when you got the diagnosis? Or was it all new to you?

I love your quote "everything must be straight...".. I have that same problem, especially when I'm in the full-grasp of an OCD period. Thank you for replying. Yes, it was actually my mother who first said she thought I showed signs of AS, (well, my dad actually does as well, quite strongly) and my husband agreed. Since then, we have all talked about it quite a lot, but I don't think they understand the hard time I'm having with it. I would take my husband to the doctor, except I think I might be more open if he wasn't actually - just because he IS so confident, he does talk for me a lot without even thinking and there is so much I haven't really discussed with him, that it's better coming from me. I'm hoping that once I'm over the initial shock, I'll be able to make progress. I'm already acknowledging that I have sensory issues that I didn't acknowledge I had...I can get over-anxious in certain situations/get headaches/feel sick/panic etc for no apparent reason, I'm learning that sometimes this is sensory overload. This is common in the supermarket, in certain shops where I recoil and have to leave, (bright lights, too busy) or just when there is too much going on in general... Thank you for your support!

Hello all, my son was diagnosed with ASD a year ago, (he's just turning 4). Since researching everything I could lay my hands on - I quickly acknowledged I had many traits of AS...but what I read didn't quite fit me. I then researched traits of specifically AS WOMEN and read a couple of books on the subject... it was like reading about myself, it was so accurate that it has really turned my head inside out and upside down. I'm 28. All my life I have suffered from associated problems - OCD/ritualistic behaviour from childhood, severe anxiety, depression and even apparent "social phobia"..(as diagnosed at 13). I went to several schools, finally becoming settled at a tutorial college for older teens. It suited me because I could choose a limited range of subjects I was interested in, the classes were really small, (5 or 6 people) and there was little pressure to socialise. I struggled my way through my teens, it was extremely confusing for me. From around the age of 14, a decade of alcohol and drug abuse began. Some drugs allowed me to escape more into my own world, where I felt comfortable - alcohol could numb me and meant I was able to socialise for longer periods of time. Social problems have existed all my life - I found it very hard to concentrate on conversations, it was all exhausting for me. I do best one on one, but even then I do find it hard to filter out outside noise and not be distracted, it's a of lot of effort. I have always felt different, I always wondered why I could find even simple every day tasks hard. I've battled with being a perfectionist on the one hand and yet it being totally against my capabilities to achieve anything like what I "expect" of myself. I've often felt like it's a constant "tug-of-war" in my head between what I want to be/what I expect and what I am. When I was 24, after being dropped from a job after three months, (the longest I'd held down a full-time position) I fell into a depression. I believe I became pregnant on purpose in many ways - firstly to escape the world of employment, (that was very much expected of me, I had good A-level results and a degree that I had "put on hold" due to stress and other issues). After my first baby, I completed my degree part-time, (which suited me much better). But I was still able to escape employment, luckily my husband worked and supported us. I got married at 20 to an extrovert, a very socially capable man...it wasn't by accident! I thought I could learn from him - and I have - although, what I've learnt is to imitate and "pretend" better at being socially capable. Obviously, I had no idea that I had AS and hoped I would "grow out" of whatever it was and overcome all problems. Unfortunately, that did not happen. So, I have come to this realisation that I have AS and I would like to seek diagnosis but I am so afraid of the reaction, I'm worried they'll just tell me I'm ridiculous for thinking such a thing. If you were to meet me you might think I come accoss a bit nervous or eccentric but I can hold it together quite well for short periods. I think I can even appear pretty "normal" when I want to. I have only ever met a couple of men with AS that were more severe, I have never met another woman, (apart from videos I've seen out on the web!). I'm anxious that I see someone who has a clear understanding of the differences between men and women with AS and how it can present differently. I'm completely obsessing about this now and can't seem to get it out of my mind. I know some people say they find out or realise they have AS and it's a "relief"...I don't feel that way, I feel shock...what I have read has been so accurate and it's just so shocking that having AS could have influenced my life course so completely, so specifically and in such a huge variety of ways. I even feel a bit angry because I know I would have done things very differently if I had known this earlier on in life. It's been a mind-blowing discovery - before this, I didn't know anything about Autism or AS and it's very strange that my sons own diagnosis could lead me to discover so much about myself. I welcome any advice.

Hi there, My son was diagnosed with ASD a year ago. After obsessively researching for many months, I did come to wonder whether I may have AS. At first I wasn't sure because many of the websites for AS/ASD still describe AS in the typically "male" way - whereas recent research has discovered that AS presents differently in women and it can appear to be quite distinct - this has meant that many women have gone undiagnosed. When I started to read about specifically female AS, I discovered I related to a large majority of the traits/feelings/symptoms etc... I'm still at the stage of discovery right now, I'm still trying to process it all. It's been quite difficult for me because I have, (and do) suffer from quite a range of problems and it feels very peculiar to have an answer and I do feel that if I had been diagnosed in the past, it would have made a great difference to me. I do want to seek diagnosis but don't really know where to start - first I need a psychiatrist that has experience diagnosing adults with AS and then I would rather like one who is also aware of the differences between men and women with AS! What did you have to go through to be diagnosed? Nat Well, here goes! I was yesterday diagnosed as having AS - what a surprise. . . . . NOT! And I paid a good wack for the privilege of having label attached to me to explain my alternative thought processes! There I was, trundling west on the M4 with my wife, coming back home after the diagnosis, when we cast our minds back to when we were making a similar return journey after Professor Fraser diagnosed our son some thirteen years previously! In all seriousness, though, the diagnoses is hugely significant for me, for it means I can focus what I'm good at, less at what I'm not good at, and I know I can get help/advice to overcome my deficits - if I choose to. I can now come to terms with who and what I am. Diagnosis comes as a great relief, and now I can plan for my future, and become less tense about myself. For all you parents of children with ASD or AS diagnoses, have you thought about whether yourself or your partner/spouse has any symptoms of AS? For all you late diagnosed AS people, how important has the diagnosis been and what difference has it made? Well, I've now 'outed' myself, and I FEEL GREAT about it!"