keepingmesane

(((((((lisa))))))) it sounds a nightmare where you are and those people need a serious kick up the bottom. hope you get something sorted xxxxx

stockport seems to have very good support and is often one of the first areas to try out new treatments

Im due to go on holiday with all my family on sat, we are going to butlins to stay in a caravan for a week. but i have been so depressed in the last week. Ive never been one for holidays, when younger i had to take things of mine with me as i really didnt like being somewhere else. even now i loathe being anywhere but in my own house. if i stay in someone elses place i cant go to bed unless i have enough clothing oon so no skin touches the material (i also feel really uncomfortable sitting on other peoples sofas and often wont remove my jumper even if it is hot) i never sleep well as i just feel so uncomfortable, i cant explain it properly but it just makes my skin crawl last year was the first time we went on holiday with the children and we went to the same place that we are going this year. i was really out of sorts and very tetchy for the first half of the holiday until i adjusted to being there. im worried im going to be like that again but nothing i do makes it any better. does anyone else feel like this? im made to feel odd because i dont like holidays and i dont like leaving my home for the night (even to my own parents house) dh is trying to be understanding but is frustrated with me as i am so different to everyone else. I also cant go away without taking loads of my own things which leads to me getting ribbed a lot by family, but its what settles me enough to go please say im not alone in how i feel

personally, i think some of the people on this thread have missed the point! yes playing football is dangerous in a shop BUT he was not playing football any more and had returned the item after being talked to by his mum, so effectively this 'dogooder' told him off when he had complied with what his mum asked. and in my opinion it was wholly inappropriate for her to interfere and yes i would have said something to her! I dont see why anyone should have apologised to her as she wasnt directly involved aside from seeing him, and if she'd been watching him then she should also have seen his mum dealing with it. We cant do right for wrong really can we, if we defend our child because they are different, we are told that we are making excuses. I totally agree that bad behaviour needs to be dealt with and not excused, but ignorance and interference from others too needs to be addressed and if we all ignore them then they never have a chance to learn that what they are doing is inappropriate! J's Mum, i understood what you are saying and i agree with how you dealt with it ((((((( ))))))) try not to take comments to heart, we are all different and we deal with things in different ways, what matters the most is that J did what you asked and thats a big thing

Hi, its my post that baddad has pointed you to. my son who is 4 1/2 adores computer games to the point that he would play all day if we let him. we introduced time limits for him with visable timers so that he knew how long he has left. we are happy to let him play the games as he is really good at them and really enjoys them, more than anything else. we encourage him to do other things during his breaks. depending on the game, i think there are far worse things out there that they could get obsessesd with. good luck with it all, i know all too well how mind numbing it can be when they constantly talk about the same thing. but at least he is happy

Thanks for the wishes, Jas is now out of hospital and hopefully we can put all this behind us now. She spoke briefly on the phone sounding very chirpy like her normal self so lets hope its a one off She is on her way back to auntie helens house and will be coming back home in the morning with lumpy (isaac that is, he smacked his head on the fri when he tripped and slammed into a wall, then he bumped his head again today at the hospital in the glass corridors) I'll be glad to have them both back home again where i can keep an eye on them, bless my parents are really worn out with it all, think they will just collapse once they get home after dropping them off tomorrow

she is doing a lot better and looks like she will be let out later today for a follow up down here. i know these things happen but its just rotten when i cant be with her. im starting to calm down now though and will get to talk to her when she is back at auntie helens. i can imagine she is rather enjoying the attention and little monkey has stopped my parents from meeting my sisters boyfriend which was the reason for going up lol. cant wait to give her a big hug incidentally, i now know what i put my mum through as i was so accident prone when younger they were forever visiting hospitals with me. thanks again for the support

thanks for the replies xxx slight update - She had a fit for about 20 minutes this morn and took almost 2 - 21/2 hours to come out of it. she is ok and is being watched by the doctors. i have said for a while that i have found several times that she has been stood lost staring into space, rufus reminded me this morning about my concerns. its been a short while since ive looked for them as i put it down to her autism. my sister is with her which i am pleased at but equally breaking my heart that i cant be there to see her and to find out from the doctors. im debating hopping in the car but its a good 7 hr journey and my parents arent sure if they are going to release her soon. im having to be quite strong on the phone as my mum and dad are really upset and shocked by it all, my mum is in tears all the time and even my dad cried cant wait til she is home but in the meantime im sat by the phone for the next update and will let you know more when i do.

im really upset, just got a phone call from my parents who took isaac and jas to my sisters in scotland. Jas has=d to be taken to stirling hosp by ambulance as she starthed fitting this morning at 5am ish. she has only just come out of it at 7.20, she couldnt speak at all im getting imformation as i can but my parents are very distressed by whats gone on. jas had no temperature at all, she was fidgety through the night and my sist had her in with her and was watchig her carefully, sh recognised the fit straight away and they called an ambulance i feel absolutely sdistaught as i cant get to her to give her a cuddle and to see whats happening. all i keep seeing is her when she was 5 days old and repatedlky fitting. my dad is worried its epilepsy, but would that suyddenly just start? her glands were up a bit on thurs but otherwise she was fine. sorry for the post bt im feeling rather helpless at the moment just waiting for the pjhone. it makes it so much more difficult that she is asd as its hard to know what she is feeling and whats bothering her

in the last couple of weeks kieran has been refusing to go to things that he previously enjoyed as he wanted "to stay home and play my games" he has always had times that he didnt want to go to things and only occasionally could i not get him to go, he would usually eventually agree to go with a bit of a huff. but this is new, he is really against going out and gets very very upset if we push it. i know his obsession for his games is taking over but im at a loss as to what to do. its the one thing he loves to do, he doesnt really play with toys, he will read and occasionally do some jigsaws. i dont see how i can remove the games (as my parents would like me to do as they dont like video games) we have been restricting the games to a couple of short periods in the day but its still the same, not wanting to go out. he uses his games as the excuse but im not entirely sure that is why sometimes, its as though sometimes he just wants to stay in his own comfort zone as he cant face other things, but i dont want this to become a permanent thing. he only settles at my parents for more than a day if they let him on the childrens websites and even had to set up a playstation to calm him at one point Today was the final straw for me and i feel really upset about it. My parents were collecting kieran and jasmine today to take them up to see my sister in scotland for the weekend. kieran refused to go and said to take isaac instead, as he wanted to stay at home with his games. we tried all the normal tricks that would normally work to get him to go, even telling him there would be no games here for him but he just didnt want to go. I know i could try and force him to go to things, but i dont feel right doing that as it just distresses him (to say the least) and makes the whole time a nightmare. He is a smart little boy but still only 4 1/2 so understanding and bargaining is limited. i dont feel right making him do certain things, like going away for the weekend, if he doesnt want to Am i doing things wrong? i feel as though everyone is looking at me as a weak mum and just giving in to everything, but i just dont want to battle everything with him. we've tried portable gaming, but that only has limited success. i feel like i have really let him down but at the same time i know exactly how he feels as i was, and still feel, the same. sorry for the confusing post, i just know i am going to have my family on my back about his obsession taking over and i just dont know what i should do about it, it isnt as easy as just removing it from him and not let him play games ever again.

ive been on the site a little while but thought that i would show a few pics of my lovely lot now that im a bit more settled on the board http://www.keepingmesane.com/recent_pictures.html i hope this is ok to do, its just i cant post photos any other way (im a bit dim when it comes to computers lol)

thanks, the problem is that neither of mine like the kitchen timer noises, in fact my daughter gets quite upset with it as she loses track and suddenly rings out of the blue, so im looking for the quieter type timer and they like the fact they can see roughly how much time they still have left.

just wondering where i can get some visual timers. ive seen various sand timers on ebay of which i think im going to get the 5 and 15 minute ones, but i would like to find a 30 min timer. has anyone seen them for sale at a not too expensive price? thanks in advance

hi all, this is probably gonna be quite a strange post but i wanted to find out if anyone else felt the same or maybe their child does. when i was younger i used to read loads, i would get so involved in the story it was as though i was there. i often didnt respond to anyone when i was reading as i never heard them, it was like i was a million miles away. Now you might say that that is the sign of a good book which i agree, but it would absolutely devastate me when the story finished, it felt as though the world had ended. often i would end up reading the book again and again and just keep going til i got hooked on the next book. It was the same with films and i often used to wear videos out from watching them again and again. I have spent most of my life doing this as i preferred to stay in on my own, its what makes me happiest. As i got older i sort of found the same thing with video games and often couldnt play again once i died as i was so involved in it that it would really throw me if the character died, i couldnt play again for a little while until i got over it. i didnt like how it felt. Now i have children i find that i no longer read fiction any more as i cant allow myself to get hooked again and i have to admit im embaressed that i get so obsessed and find the feelings overwhelming. I still watch films repeatedly much to the annoyance of my husband, im as bad as my children (in fact worse sometimes) in wanting the same film again and again. I find it quite sad that i no longer read but i just cant let it take over me as my children always need me.

typical! they are always on their best behaviour at the wrong times. the only way they actually got to see jas having her bad times was because the nursery filmed her a lot, can you film him at home and maybe when you take him in to nursery, just so you can show what happens. the team here couldnt dispute things when they could actually see it happening ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

hi and thanks for the responses both my dh and i love games so we arent surprised how much he likes them, its more that it he is acting older than he is with regards to the games and yet he isnt old enough to understand timings etc. we are going to get a visual timer so he can see how long he has gone and hopefully this will reduce some of the anxiety, also he needs to know when he will be able to play so we need to set more of a structure i think to help him out. thanks again xxx

hope it went ok today and that you wont have too much of a wait for the report

hi all, im after a bit of advice on my 4 1/2 yr old. for a long time video games have held my sons interest, he isnt too bothered with other toys but will time and again go back to the video games, he would happily play all day if allowed to. when he first started playing he spent all his time jumping or driving off things into water etc as he found this hilarious. but lately he is now trying to do the game properly and is learning very fast. we have been going through phases of him getting very anxious or upset if he didnt win, got stuck or fell off something. we are kind of getting through that now but we are finding that he is now starting to give up other things to stay playing games. last week he turned down his share care worker who he normally adores and then on saturday this week we went to the zoo and although he was ok, he spent most of the day wanting to go home and almost refused staying at his grandparents for the night (a much loved treat not so long ago) because he wanted to play his game. the only reason he stayed there is because we told him that it would be bed time when we got home so no games. we want to introduce a time limit on the games but equally we understand that it is the one thing he really enjoys and makes him happy. how long should we allow him to play for at a time? 30 mins? 1 hour? and then a film for the others in between. he does have a leapster handheld console to allow his love of games but also do something that is at least educational. what should we do? what have others done in this situation? we do play board games, puzzles and lots of other things which he will join in with for a while so he isnt exclusively on the console all the time, but we are worried about how much of a hold it has been getting over him lately

it will be me, dh and my parents going so 1 adult to each child, couldnt face it otherwise lol. does anyone know what i would need to prove that we are carers?

We are going to chester zoo tomorrow as its my middle sons 3rd birthday next tues. we've been once before and it was ok but had some very stressed moments. both of my twins are on the autistic spectrum and react to things very differently, they both want to go to the zoo so at least thats something. can i get discounts taking them in ? they both get dla. anything else i can do to make it easier for them? thanks in advance

i love drawing and painting when i get some free time, though that is a rarity! you can see what i get up to on my website.. www.keepingmesane.com i am hoping to develop it more into a business for me in the future so i can work it around my children and my health my other love is my chinchillas of which i now have 4 i enjoy gaming but find it difficult as it often leaves me feeling really ill

hi all, i dont know if anyone can help but i am having a real problem with my asd daughter. for a while now whenever she got frustrated she would get part of my clothing in her mouth and really bite hard for a few moments. she has now moved on to actually biting people, which of course is not acceptable. i have had it suggested to me that we get her a bracelet or something attached to her like a small piece of cloth, that she can bite or pull about when things get too much for her. but is this a good thing? shouldnt i be trying to discourage her? im not sure what to do with her as she is so headstrong, we are trying everything to get her to stop or to divert her as her slightly younger brother is now copying causing loads of problems

hi, we have only just (last week) got my son potty trained he is nearly 4 1/2 and i just left it til i felt he was ready. luckily for us the nursery and the hv were behind us and happy to wait. his twin sister who is also asd potty trained herself last year and even then she was later than most. try not to worry too much about daft hv, take teh cue from your child and that way it should avoid the extra stress that they and you dont need

hi all, ive been reading quite a few threads about whether to explain to people that your child is autistic and just wanted to ask whether anyone felt they needed to do this due to overly friendly behaviour rather than negative behaviour? my two can have some spectacular meltdowns but generally are ok when we go out for short times, but they are so overly social with everyone especially my daughter. to the point where it ccan make some people feel quite uncomfortable. of course i do my best to distract them but jasmine just loves talking to people and going very close so i often end up explaining that she is autistic... but many dont believe me as thats not what they think autism is... rainman syndrome! does anyone else have an overfriendly and very active child? i admit that mine seem very normal if not overconfident children to most people, its hard to get them to understand that my children do have difficulties i had a horrendous time the other day when i had to go to a doctors appt and had to take all four children with me on my own! kieran and jasmine are exciteable and loud enough but add isaac who is twice as load and boistrous and it was a disaster, i mustve looked like the worst mother around with the most unruly children..

can i ask also how many are boys and how many are girls? sorry but its just that i found our consultant and team were more surprised by jasmine as she wasnt so obvious, it took one of the team (who is a specialist in asd and deals with a lot of girls) to watch jasmines ados video to spot her.