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robert7111a

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Posts posted by robert7111a

  1. Posted · Report reply

    .

    Usually happens as I have been told I am predictable and a creature of habit with set routines.

     

    But that can only be a good thing surely? I thought women liked a steady bloke because they were...erm...predictable (and reliable). My wife isn't that keen on spontaniaty and is pleased I have set routines. She knows exactly where she stands

  2. Posted · Report reply

    Yes I can't begin to understand that emotions must be running high in your household. Not sure if this has been mentioned but roughly, what age is your daughter and at what age did she start to self-harm? Can you/she think of any occurence at the time for her to begin this behaviour? Does she feel she's getting the attention she needs? Is she self-harming as a cry for help/parasuicide? You know there is a reason for her doing this and the sooner this reason is understood, the sooner you/she can move on.

     

    Is she a victim of bullying/rape? Does she dislike her body? Sorry for all the questions but just trying to empathise

  3. Posted · Report reply

    What actually is borderline personality disorder?. In my book this shouldn't exist. Either the individual has a personality disorder or does not. It sounds like a psychiatrist isn't sure/can't make up her/her mind whether the individual has a personality disorder or not so just applies the label BPD to get them out the door. Does BPD mean the person has an element of depression?. Body Dysmorphic Disorder certainly sounds like a depression state as it suggests the individual is unhappy with some aspect of his/her body

  4. Posted · Report reply

    Thank you LancsLad for getting us started - and a very thought-provoking post.

     

    My wife had her own issues when we first met but we had something in common (college course) and somehow we just clicked. Obviously back then, I had no idea about Aspergers. What I found interesting over the years was that she herself was not a social animal either and I just believed this was one of the reasons why we got on. Because she had serious issues back then, I tolerated them for the simple reason that I had lost two serious girlfriends (short-lived) and I certainly did not want to lose another. When I helped her overcome her issues, I don't know whether she felt she "owed" it to me but our relationship continued to blossom and of course, resulted in us getting married (and still going strong)

     

    A member of her family has got married twice during our marriage reign and the second one is looking a bit dodgy. Many of her friends got married and are having serious difficulties but for some reason, ours has remained very strong. I suppose I do give affection (we still hug and kiss every day) but in many ways, we live our own lives under the same roof - i.e. we don't really do that much as a family (daughter too). She gives more to the family (despite working herself) and is the doting housewife/mother. I suspect the reason we don't do that much as a family is to do with my long working hours and my self-indulgence in my hobby. Like you LancsLad, she has stuck by me through thick and thin and I am eternally grateful. She miscarried twice during her time of her own issue but we are blessed with a beautiful daughter whom I don't suspect has AS but like me, has certain traits. My wife is very forgiving of people which makes her into the lovely person that she is.

     

    We have never rowed, always been very tolerant of each other (especially as I have the worst issues) and I suppose from a husband with AS traits, this is quite a success story. But I still have a lot to learn and know that I don't always give her my attention as I should

     

    Any other thoughts/suggestions/help gratefully welcome...

  12. Posted · Report reply

    It's just like the high price of motor insurance to pay for the b**&%$£*s that drive around without insurance and cause accidents to innocent victims. Don't get me started on that one

     

    Apart from the authorities, who else is there to report Charlie's habit/addition? How can Charlie get help if there is nobody to report to? I doubt his GP would be interested, they have far more pressing issues to deal with.

  14. Posted · Report reply

    With respect, I don't think anyone has insulted Charlie (or not intentionally anyway). I for one am trying to get him to visualise the consequences if he gets caught in the vague hope that a "shock tactic" might work.

     

    Clearly there is not an easy answer. Charlie was brought up in an environment where he didn't know right from wrong at the time - however he certainly knows its wrong now. We just need more ideas thrown in the mixing pot

  16. Posted · Report reply

    Welcome Bobzilla. You obviously are doing well for yourself with a City job, wife and kids.

     

    Do I understand correctly that you say your wife has Aspergers? Also I am a bit confused when you say about the difficulty you have forming meaningful long-term relationships. With whom?

     

    You mention about feeling "a bit alone and misunderstood". If your wife has Aspergers, then surely she would understand. Do you give her the care and attention that she needs or do you feel she does not give you the care and attention that you want?

     

    How does the bi-polar affect you/your family?

     

     

  17. Posted · Report reply

    Thanks LancsLad. I know you are trying to be positive and maybe years ago, the local shopkeeper might well have been more tolerant/understanding

     

    Just to add to SidiousUk's comments, firstly I have learnt something...I have never heard of kleptomania.

     

    Also, something for Charlie to consider: if you are unfortunate enough to get caught/get done/get a criminal record etc...prospective employers will do a CRB check and therefore you will need to declare you have a criminal record - otherwise your employer will deem you untrustworthy and dismiss you for lying.

  19. Posted · Report reply

    I say "go" and if you don't like it, then it's only one or two hours spent and you will have at least achieved 2 things:

     

    1) I went, loved it and will go again

     

    2) I went, hated it and will never go again

     

    You could kick yourself for not going. You might be missing out.

  20. Posted · Report reply

    I have my reservations about going to the police and admitting to a crime (or several in your case). They may well take the hard line and throw the book at you and then you are tarred as a common thief with a criminal record to boot.

     

    Although LancsLad has good intentions, I also have my reservations about admitting your crimes to the Co-op store manager. He might just call the police on the spot and may very well have you on CCTV which can be used in evidence.

     

    This seems clearly to be an addition and in the absence of a "Shoplifter's Anonymous" support group, I agree with others that you should go to your GP (who in turn should treat your information as confidential)

     

    At the end of the day, you are committing crimes/offences and the police will not use your AS as an excuse unless you have an official diagnosis.

  21. Posted · Report reply

    Just to reinforce other posters, yes, having ASD does make one more vulnerable simply because they have difficulty interpreting other people's intentions/body language and are generally too honest sometimes.

     

    Special_talent123.. I hope you don't mind me expanding on your original question..."why are some people with ASD more suspectable to being vulnerable than others?"

     

    Perhaps this might offer some insight as to why people with ASD are more vulnerable in society

  22. Posted · Report reply

    Hey A-S Warrior, from my perspective, you bring a lot of energy and debate to this forum so don't stop now. We often feel bad about ourselves and sometimes post things in haste without thinking things through. I suppose it's easy to say "don't take it personally" if somebody posts something defensive. We are all human and like to voice our opinions whether other people like them or not.

     

    Keep up the good work!

  23. Posted · Report reply

    Is this an addiction?

     

    What is the motive? Is it the fact you don't get caught so you get a buzz out of it? Or do you steal to hoard?

     

    The reason I got into trouble was not the shoplifting itself, but I admitted to something else as well to get away from a horrible situation. I was a juvenile then and realised the serious nature of my actions. What happened next put me off stealing forever

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