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About david3

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    Salisbury Hill

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  • Interests
    Music, football, women, psychotherapy.
  1. david3

    I'm david3

    I think that I am missing my beloved in a different way tonight. 'How do I feel at the end of the day? Does it worry me to be alone? No. I'll get by with a little help from my friends.' I miss my beloved. I also miss the happy days of my childhood. I miss the girlfiend I took walking out in Middlesbrough. I have difficulty remembering her name. I think that I could remember her name if I had some therapy. Once upon a time I had no trouble remembering her name. We moved to Redcar and I had so much on my mind, I put looking after my primary school girl friend in cold storage. Maybe I have found my childhood sweetheart again in my beloved. It is remotely possible that the little girl I miss is now the beloved I miss. I could call my childhood sweetheart, Beatrice. Dante lost Beatrice and found her again in Heaven. I may have lost Beatrice in childhood and found her again now. I hear my beloved opening the front door now. Dear Reader, I have many problems this morning. First of all I have a hangover from going out last night to a blues club. I think that I have been smoking too much rather than drinking too much. I am a smoker like an alcoholic is an alcoholic. I smoke for the comfort of a simple pleasure. Like Kipling said 'a woman is a woman and a cigar is a smoke'. I decide that sending things to my long term loved one is cruel now. I've been writing to her for ages to put thing right and I receive nothing back. I'm suffering from a lot of male anxiety. The blues band last night sang a song about a man waiting for something from his woman. This is what I am doing. I decide to be happy with the image I have in my soul of her and to be good terms with it rather than be on good terms with the real woman. You can't argue with a mad woman and I guess the real woman is very angry with me. I choose to be at peace with the girl of my dreams and let the woman of the real world make her own decisions how I am treated by her. I'm pretty obsessive-compulsive about my Penny. More later soon. Dear Reader; Here is my other problem. I have difficulty putting things into words. I may be high-functioning; I still have difficulty dealing with paradoxes. I think this is a symptom of autism according to 'normals'. Who decides what normal behaviour is? I think that I have a right to my opinion what normal behaviour is. This is what I see. I attend Quakers. I've read the guidelines Advices and Queries. I've read the bit about being considerate to the meeting when I break the silence and I've read the bit about listening to people who break the silence with consideration. The thing is- I get told off for speaking in meeting. I get told off for contributing too much. I have a lot to say and decide to say only what I consider useful and even the little I say is too much for some people. I remember being blocked from entering last week's meeting. They're heavy on rule making and inconsiderate of me, the autistic human being. I have a fantasy of Quakers being somewhere I could settle down and I think that some people just won't have it. I am responsible for the situation. I would be to blame if I did anything malicious. This is what happened. David3; I decide what I do. William; But you don't decide what you do. I decide what you do because you behave badly. David3; I do decide. William; Oh, no, you don't. Infuriating illogical. I could give him a thump, but that would be bad behaviour.
  2. david3

    I'm david3

    Dear Other, I am missing your kindness this afternoon. I want to relax and be who I am with someone I am loved by. I decide to keep my cool here and wait until I find my way to you easier. I really want to be with you at the same time I want to be safe and protected from attacks on my temper. I'm watching the football now. Liverpool are winning 1-0 with an hour to go against a weaker side. They play this hour without conceding a goal they win. I'm filling a gap watching the game and if I got a better offer from you, I would be with you tout suite. While I am separate from the reaI you I am in touch with my image of you. I hope that you are well and that someday I will join up your reality and my image. David.
  3. Think feeling emotions is something we are born with.
  4. I think that sometimes showing someone how to do something is better than giving a person written instructions. A word may mean little to someone where pointing an object or performing an action will say a lot. It's easier to learn to dance by dancing rather than reading about dancing in a book.
  5. david3

    The Female Eunuch

    I take the comment that women will always be better than men and only let men think they are better with a pinch of salt. I imagine a couple where the woman thinks that she is better than the man and the man only letting her think that she is better for the sake of a quiet life. A bit like the Buckets in Keeping Up Appearances. I think that Hyacinth thinks she's in charge with her husband patiently keeping her excesses in check.
  6. I am hurt by the nasty things people do. I get really annoyed by people who ignore my existence. I feel sorry for them because I have friendship to give and they miss out on my friendship. I offer friendship and I am repelled.
  7. david3

    The Female Eunuch

    I've been thinking that there being more of one gender in a job is alright as long as those who choose this job are selected on the basis of merit rather than gender.
  8. I have difficulty respecting some people and hope that if I show these people some respect I will get respect in return. I also respect nasty people in the sense of being careful to keep out of the firing line. Don't pay to insult someone who might hurt me.
  9. I think that u got some smarts, special. I too wish my life had gone different. I am where I am here and now, and I am grown up so I have more power to choose how I live and what I do to do better.
  10. I'm confused. I think dyslexia difficulty reading. What u think?
  11. I think practise makes better. You read Ladybird books?
  12. Think we can agree we get little respect if we give little respect.
  13. david3

    I'm david3

    I am diagnosed with autism. I am confused. I want to get in touch with Her and at the same time I think that I should not get in touch with Her. I decide to play safe for now and wait and see what I feel tomorrow. I choose to keep my cake rather than eat my cake. I am pleased to have my cake. I am feeling wound up tonight. I am afraid that I might do something that I will get in trouble for. I am the only person standing between me and doing something evil, I think that I am coping with my emotions. (posts merged please read the Mental Health topic at the top of the forum for more help)
  14. david3

    The Female Eunuch

    Lyndalou I'm sorry if my words offended you. Did you read what Special Talent said? She said that if no one treats women with respect they get no respect back. Is her remark as offensive as my remark to you? I don't end up with these women. I end up with women who can stand up for rights. Who treat me with the same respect I give to them. I am OK and they are OK, and neither of us even tries to put the other down. I hear what you say. I decide if my attitude towards women is good or bad. I decide that it always could be better.
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