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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team

windylou

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Everything posted by windylou

  1. Hi my son has Aspergers and struggles with noise (especially loud unexpected noises). I have constant complaints that he is being rude in the dinner hall due to the noise. Unfortunately I know that my son would be able to cope in the dinner hall IF he wasn't spending the 3 hours before listening to the noise from 2 classrooms he is not only listening to this he is also having to cope with the teacher shouting THROUGH him when she is addressing other children because apparently that's the only thing the other child seems to respond to. My son has actually gone as far as to take in some earplugs to try to drown out the noise but he has been told he can't use them because he wont be able to hear the teacher, I had no idea until I found them in his pockets and he told me why. I suggested earplugs before and I was told the same. So not sure what to do about that really. He won't tell the class teacher anything because he approaches it wrong and ends up being in trouble for being rude so expects me to do it, if I say anything I am just one of those parents who is attacking a class teacher, again. If he tells another member of staff the noise level in the class is acceptable. So any suggestions would be greatly appreciated I am now at a loss.
  2. Hello, I have just started another thread and realised I never got back on this one! Sorry! Thank you for your replies, it's a little late for my reply now but I thought it best I did one. After banging my head against a brick wall for a few more months, being treated like I do not support my son, listening to her tell my boy he needs to change to fit in with the world because the world won't change for him things finally came to a head when she told me I needed to take my son to see a counselor because of his poor attitude to learning, apparently in the 15 years she had been working with SEN children (I dread to think what happened to her other pupils) she had never met one like my son....this was the final straw! My son was suspended shortly after because he supposedly tried to push the same teacher through a window. When we went in to speak to the head we were informed that another teacher who was present when it happened put a complaint in about the teacher in question and said she had purposely wound up our son which had resulted in her having to restrain him she was so appalled by what she had seen she had to go to see a counselor herself and the other teacher no longer works at my sons old school.
  3. Year 7 high school. English

    Hi everyone, It's been some time since I was last here. So just to update, my son is now 11 and has started Yr 7 at high school. He has settled in really well and has even made a couple of friends along the way . We attended an induction evening last night with his form tutor and he has progressed really well in all subjects so far BUT..the poor work ethic in English is still there. My husband and I were proud as punch while we were chatting to the form tutor but I have a knot in the pit of my stomach because every year, since our son started school, begins like this. First it's his poor attitude (with writing usually in English) which is flagged until eventually it takes a turn for the worst and it results in rudeness, work refusal, restraining and ultimately suspension from school.I know they will push him with this and then every other aspect of school which he does well in will go out of the window. I have been there, done it, tried to help and failed miserably in the past. My son really likes this school because he said they help him instead of telling him he is lying all of the time(his words) and I can see how hard he is working to be someone he is not everyday. I am to contact his English teacher to discuss the above which is the only area in his progress that requires improvement but I really do not know what to suggest. As far as I know he gets a scribe when doing lengthy pieces of work and I only know this because my son told me. Does anyone else's child have the same issues? if so what suggestions have you or the school made to help? I really don't want to see my boy turn into the unhappy shell of a person he did throughout primary school. Thank you.
  4. OT appointment

    Hi I may (or may not of mentioned in previous posts) that my son was waiting for an OT assessment of his fine/gross motor skills? and just wanted to update you really as you have all been so helpful. Well he has just had his assessment and some of the tests involving his fine motor skills couldn't be scored because of the time it took him to complete them even though he did show excellent pencil control and completed the task. The OT noted that he used 4 fingers instead of 3 to hold his pencil and he was applying too much pressure to the pencil.The OT said she disagreed with standard tests when assessing a child with ASD because they do not give an accurate picture of the child's strengths and difficulties. She was more concerned about the way he processed things and he wanted things to be perfect which would affect him a lot in school. One of the fine motor tests involved my son copying 12 different pictures into a box below each of them and he did them all in mirror image (this took 25 minutes because he was concentrating on getting each picture perfect instead of just quickly drawing them). Another one was to draw a picture of himself wearing his school uniform, this was very detailed and it took him 20+ minutes. When asked to read and copy 1 short sentence on a piece of lined paper he refused and turned away, wouldn't acknowledge any of us, said he just wanted to run out through the door but with lots of gentle encouragement and an extension of his computer time at home he eventually did it very quickly and neatly (while shielding it from everyone so he could write 'quicker') but continued to make comments about wanted to rip it up/punch it and run out of the room through gritted teeth. He had a slight delay when timed to use each hand for tasks but the OT wasn't concerned because he favored the quickest hand when writing. He avoided anything which involved balancing. She didn't go too into detail about the tests for the gross motor tests, made a comment that he would catch up with regards to fine/gross motor delays- so I'm guessing he is delayed there???(she said she will make sure it's all in a very detailed report) but she gave us some ideas with helping him in other ways at school such as velcro on his shirts so it was one less thing for him to tackle while changing from PE or swimming right now she wants to concentrate on the written work at school and taking the pressure off him as he will already have too many demands on him due to his asperger's to begin with. So will be suggesting a laptop for all written work (this has been suggested before by the peadiatrician and both the school and EP said no so not sure how this will pan out). She took lots of other information from us including his scout leaders full name!? annd we mentioned to her that we had been refused a SA for our son she said appeal and she will support us the best she can (she has recently been to tribunal), when she asked what his behavior at school was like and we said he has lashed out in the past but we haven't had any calls about it for a while she smiled and said that's definatley not his nature what I can see here today is that he has a very gentle nature-which brought a tear to my eye because she saw our son!! she will contact the EP, CAMHS, for more information and wants to do an observation in school now that she has met him to see what is being done and if there may be anything else causing issues. PHEW! what a long post sorry! All in all I feel really positive, and when we left the appointment we noticed our son had a little spring in his step too. Now we are just waiting on an appointment with podiatry to check out his flat feet and see if that is adding to his difficulties too!
  5. OT appointment

    Thanks for the link sally. Well we received the OT report, Manual dexterity-25th percentile (between 5th and 15th being some degree of difficulty)- he was reluctant to perform the lacing task but managed well with encouragement-no fine motor difficulties identified. Aiming and catching-9th percentile-struggled to control force of movements, tended to catch against his body. sets his own agenda rather than abiding by rules of game/task. Balance-5th percentile- refused to stand on the balance board so score particularly low-references of upcoming podiatry appointment noted. Pencil skills (visual motor intergration)- not possible to score. Used sketched feathered lines rather than 1 line, mirror images of some pictures, should of taken 3 minutes but took over 20 although accurate no indications of visual perception difficulties but rather an in individualized interpretation and execution of what was required. commented it "had to be perfect". Pictorial test- not scored although very detailed proficient picture was drawn- took a great deal of time. Minnesota speed test- to copy a sentence- took a great deal of coaxing to complete 1 line, couldn't be persuaded to do more. Sentence was produced very slowly and carefully and a neat lower case print was achieved. spacing between words was poor. 4 point grasp was used to guide the pencil adequately...processing skills are having a large impact on his performance. School observation to see how our sons processing skills are affecting his school work in the school enviro and also to see if there is anything else which could be causing difficulties. Now for the podiatry assessment! Dyspraxia was ruled out by several of the tests, think it was due to the vestibular tests. Excellent core strength. Our son is an isopathic(?) toe walker, rather than using the heel toe pattern while walking he is using toe heel...which explains why he seems like he is dragging his feet!.I hadn't got a clue what he meant until the chap demonstrated for me. He has stiffness of the ankle joints and tightness of the calf muscles. During one of the tests our son had to tip his head back and the chap said he was very flexible...after all of the tests had been performed he was pretty sure he was hypermobile. He made a note that his knees stuck out more (behind him) than most when he was standing straight, he could bend his little finger straight back when his hand was flat on a table, thumb went right back and touched his forearm, wrists flexed more than most, legs were more flexible at the hips, and also his elbows had a lot more flexibility. Outcome; referral to physio and referral to paediatrics because he was concerned about the joint pains our son was experiencing without any signs of swelling so possible blood tests to rule out any underpinning issues. Insoles and exercises to stretch the calf muscle which our son really isn't happy about. I have contacted the OT (I did ponder that maybe she should of picked up on this??) to just update and she will use this additional info when she goes in to observe and suggest other strategies.
  6. OT appointment

    Yes, Sally NHS OT. She couldn't make it any more clear that she was here for our son and us as a family and nobody else. Don't worry Sally, I (think I) remember what you said about fine/gross motor development delay and some not committing by not naming it as dyspraxia (I think that was what you said..that's off the top of my head so sorry if I got it wrong!) so once I get the report I will query further if needs be.
  7. What a difference a year makes

    That's good to hear! I'm happy for the both of you and the rest of you family, Onwards and upwards as they say. x
  8. My son has forgotten to bring home his reading book and homework etc from school for a whole week, how can I help him to be organized without actually being there?
  9. How to help my son to be organised at school?

    The difference in his reading and writing are put down to the fact that he doesn't want to! He has been repeatedly punished at school now for 3 YEARS for the same reason...his writing, now he can be stubborn but 3 years!!. I see absolutely NO evidence what so ever of it ever being over a 1b anywhere so for the reason to be he is capable but doesn't want to is rubbish in my eyes there is nothing to back this up...and I know him a dam sight better than they do, if that doesn't send alarm bells ringing I don't know what will.
  10. How to help my son to be organised at school?

    Sally, it was the decision not to assess because it is very rare to have a child with extreme complex difficulties which warrant further assessments and I am to contact the SENCO to discuss what support they have in place. We have 2 months to appeal and an OT app right bang in the middle. We will be appealing. No Speech and language. NHS SALT did an assessment and discharged as all ok and anything which was noted was just noted as 'typical of asperger's'....pretty much suggested everything in place any ways. SULP is used in the classroom he had 12 wks on a SULP program last year and his old TA was trained up to supply SULP but she is no longer in his class. When CAMHS became involved and he was given a diagnosis the outreach team disappeared. Not tested for dyslexia although I see symptoms on a regular basis....school however do not he is a 3a for reading but 1b for writing, can spell orally but can't put it on paper correctly. Working memory was his lowest score from the 4 categories when tested by the EP although it was still in the average bracket. Sensory issues; yes I included all of these in the request letter for SA Again I see fine/gross motor difficulties but the school don't. It's so hard not to try and help him when I know he is struggling with something for the sake of others wanting to be awkward. In all honesty I am waiting to see if the key ring is stopped too.
  11. How to help my son to be organised at school?

    Hi Sally, No statement SA has just been turned down because the school are providing everything they need to from their resources. The only problem is my son is forgetting everything which in theory would be classed as my 'duty of care' to make sure he remembers e.g his homework being brought home-completed and handed back in, his reading book to bring home, hand in every morning and bring home every evening..this was one of my arguments in YR 2 he wasn't handing his reading book in in the morning so ended up with the same reading book for weeks even though he had read it within the first 2 days of having it...when I mentioned this of course it was MY duty of care! So I spoke to the TA at the time...he still forgot, I reminded him in a morning..he still forgot, so I started sending him in to change it at the end of the day and he was told it was to stop he has to remember to hand it in in a morning! so how on earth? from outside the school am I supposed to help?...unless that is the idea...to make me look like I am not?? I have got a hold of a keyring for him so will see how he goes on with that.
  12. How to help my son to be organised at school?

    Special Talent that sounds like a good idea....I'm going to have a look into that. Thank you Sally he did have a newly started diary with everything in what he needed to remember and the TA was going to 'train' him to use it every morning and at the end of school but the headteacher has stopped it. It was stopped Tuesday last week (we found out on Wednesday just gone) and low and behold he has forgot everything he needed ever since. It's a shame it really is the TA is the first person to actually noticed that he struggles even more so than other children in her group with his organization and she was going to try and tackle that to make everything a little less stressful for him. I could do a list myself that's not a problem, but getting him to remember to check his list without me prompting him will be difficult.
  13. Just that really...my son is 8 recently diagnosed with Asperger's. He said he gets distracted because he can't stop telling himself stories (his own words), he does tend to talk under his breath and I can never quite hear what he is saying so now I'm guessing this is what he is doing. Does anyone elses child mention/do this?
  14. Statutory Assessment

    I have had a letter from the LEA to acknowledge a request for SA. When I sent the application letter it was very very long and I included any paper work I already had e.g. Diagnosis report, IEP's, and also documented any difficulties at home which would also have an impact in school etc. In the letter I have received it is asking me for copies of any reports I have, and details of my sons difficulties. Should I resend everything I have already sent? Also my son broke his arm last week and has been referred to pediatrics because it is an unusual break for a child (it would of taken a fall from a great height to sustain his injury but he did it by tripping over while running and landing on grass) should I mention this as supporting evidence re. possible Dyspraxia? Thanks
  15. Statutory Assessment

    OK Thank you for the replies. I did add a list of what had been sent along with the request letter but not as you have put it sally44, just wrote that I had included all reports from professionals involved with my son. I will re-send the info and put more details of what has been sent. What about a copy of a letter from the peadiatrician to the OT department outlining my sons anxiety towards written work and requesting an assessment for dyspraxia? I wasn't sure whether to include this first time. Sorry I have been given a date to send the info in and I just want to make sure I include everything I need to.
  16. Dyspraxia and Asperger's overlap.

    Hi, my son has been referred to the OT for assessments for possible dyspraxia, as the title says may be overlapping his AS. I have just had a phone call from the EP (she was copied in the referral letter by the paediatrician) she has briefly observed my son in class today and he has really good pencil grip, was writing very small numbers at the time, his written work is a bit big that's all, and he didn't seem anxious. Therefore she does not believe he has any problems with his fine motor skills, and has made a note of it on his file. My son can't do up his buttons he will attempt but get very frustrated and I end up doing it, Will not even attempt to do his zips, he can tie a shoe lace. He struggles with written work. Can write neatly but it takes him a long time, very upset at mistakes. The faster he tries to write the messier it gets and the more upset he gets over his mistakes. These are but a few difficulties. The question is can dyspraxia be ruled out purely because of what the EP has said? Can his ability to do these things change from day to day? today being a good day? I didn't go through all the difficulties I see with my son with the EP because I am sick of repeating myself. So I will be saving this for the OT appointment. Feeling rather annoyed right now.
  17. Dyspraxia and Asperger's overlap.

    Thanks, will do. I will ring the OT department and see how long the waiting times are, I think the sooner this is done the better.
  18. Dyspraxia and Asperger's overlap.

    Thanks, I can't sleep because I'm so annoyed (that's really bad isn't it, not sleeping due to something so miniscule). Just wish someone would listen. It's not like I've only known my son for 12 months like they have. Oh well the answers that I gave to the peadiatrician's questions were enough for her to refer to OT. I will just wait to see what the OT has to say. Just can't believe the EP ruled it out after a 2 minute observation.
  19. Dyspraxia and Asperger's overlap.

    forgot to mention he is 8 now.
  20. Dyspraxia and Asperger's overlap.

    Hello, Special_talent Thanks for the reply. My son falls all of the time. Trips over his own feet. Has actually fallen face first and hurt his nose just from turning around. Never seems to get his hands out quick enough to catch his fall. Struggles to catch a ball. Avoids football or riding a bike because he said it is dangerous but he only decided this because he falls over the football when he tries to kick it, and he just tips to one side if he is on his bike....even manages to tip his bike with stabilizers on. When he was smaller we always thought he was clumsy (sorry) when he turned 5 he ended up with glasses because one of his eyes were very weak so this made sense as to why he was clumsy. He always misjudges picking up his drinks we realized that we have to remind him to concentrate and use both hands every time he has a drink. Won't use cutlery...never has but then he has always said it's because he likes to feel the texture of his food so not too sure about that. Drops his drinks, pencils and gets very frustrated with himself. Needed lots of encouragement to reach his milestones even though he did at the very end of the average bracket. And that is just the half of it!
  21. Statement application

    Hi, I posted on here before about filing out an application letter for a statement for my son (long story as to why I am still doing it!). I am really struggling with the section on what my sons needs are? Could someone cast their eye over this and tell me if it is rubbish? XXXX was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (ASD) in Jan 2013. His difficulties revolve around social, emotional, and communication areas and he also has some sensory sensitivities. Below is a list of difficulties from my own knowledge of XXXX (and from observations of XXXX completing his homework) which I believe cause significant problems within the classroom. Difficulties with concentration skills, XXXX needs to be constantly re-focused onto the task at hand if it is not of interest. Concrete, literal thinking. Overly fidgety. Difficulty differentiating relevant, irrelevant information. Difficulty generalising and applying learned knowledge and skills across different situations, settings and people. Difficulties interpreting others non verbal communication cues, or others intentions be that good or bad, socially naïve. Poor organisational skills (also in terms of organising his own thoughts), extremely poor concept of time and difficulties with personal care. Difficulty with changes of routine, this could be something as simple as a line being read out wrong during a concert. Very low frustration levels, especially where written work is involved. Sensory sensitivities, causing difficulties with learning in large groups. Fine motor difficulties. XXXX is currently awaiting an appointment with the Occupational therapist (referred by the paediatrician) due to symptoms of Dyspraxia. Unable to make and keep friends due to his communication skills.I have a habbit of waffling on (as you may of read in previous posts) and I want to be sure this will be enough for now, I can gather the evidence for a later date.
  22. Statement application

    Hello, Thanks sally. I have taken a look at the link, very intersting thank you. Will take on board your other suggestions. This is what confuses me...will my own information (which his school never seem to agree with) be enough? The dyspraxia in all honesty I had come across when looking at my sons symptoms while waiting for a CAMHS referral, which did read similar to my son in many ways but at the same time I was also looking up asperger's which pointed out similar symptoms so that was put to one side. I will give you a litle more background.Since my sons troubles began and I was constantly being called into to school I started to try and make sense of the same reasons he was giving me for not completeing his written work (excluding "I don't want too" and "I'm lazy" because I think this was him repeating what he had been told.) and also what I was seeing when he was reading/writing. Long story but he has a bad squint..his right eye was close to shutting off...had patch therapy...improved greatly...I thought it may be down to his prescription not being strong enough...was told it shouldn't make a difference. so that kind of put an end to that. He had assessments by the educational psychologist last year his working memory was low average, processing speed average (thats from the top of my head so if I have written it on another post and it's different...sorry I distinctly remember the working memory being lower than everything else) so in a nut shell I was told he was capable just lacked motivation...which I have said so many times before I believe is rubblish my son loves to make people happy in any way he can so for him to get into so much trouble just didn't/doesn't make sense. Shortly after the assessement I still had a gut feeling that something was still amiss so I looked at his reasons again and came across dyslexia (did an online parent questionnaire which came up as moderate-severe for all areas affected by dyslexia)...I emailed the school everything I had noted and asked if he had been tested for dyslexia and again I was told they did not see a problem. So that went to one side too. Now he has been referred to an OT with poss dyspraxia and this seems to have the same symptoms as dyslexia?? I feel like I am going around in circles, I really do, although now I do feel like others (bar school) are taking note of what I am saying, I have spent the best part of 3 years unpicking info my son has given me because noone else seems to take any notice.
  23. Hello all! I have recently joined this forum to see if anyone has any advice on how I can help my son 8 (AS) at school. It has been a real rollercoaster ride for him over the past few years and one of the difficulties seems to stem from his writing. He has gone through various stages with his writing from producing very little, to refusing to write anything, to producing very little again. The attitude from the school is that he can't be bothered but after sitting and observing my sons reactions to his homework I believe that he is really struggling getting the words from his brain to his paper. He is using other lessons ( which I believe he would do really well in, such as computers,art, design and technology) to complete his English work. He also ends up completing his English (or anything involving a lot of writing) during remove...which I should imagine has happened due to the writing anyway. Does anyone else have any experience of this and what helped? or what suggestions were made by the school? my sons SENCO is a class teacher and quite new to the job and I would very much like to help her to help my son.
  24. Hi trekster Thanks I will take a look at the EDS thread. She checked his knees, elbows, ankles and his back but this was only due to me mentioning he complains about pains in these especially when he has walked a small distance. 2 months ago I also witnessed his knees give way as we were walking along (not enough for him to fall but enough for him to do a kind of swift stoop as he was walking along), he said it happens all the time???...saying this we also have to bare in mind that my son constantly jumps and flaps and in all honesty when ever he mentioned these I automatically thought it was due to this, but this was before I did lots of reading up. Would the OT not check anything to do with his hands when assessing his fine motor skills? I'm not sure. It's crazy 4 years ago I didn't see any difficulties, now he has been diagnosed with AS....possibly has dyspraxia.......it just seems to be spiraling from one thing to another...I kind of feel like I'm turning into a mum that "wants" there to be something wrong (guess I look like that to outsiders anyway) but in reality I don't.
  25. Hello, Just wanted to update everyone who commented. My son went to see a peadiatrician, after mentioning his issues with writing at school, she suggested a scribe to help him and referred him to an OT to have his fine motor skills assessed. I think I will take along all the info I have proved to other proffessionals to make sure I don't miss anything out. She also checked his joints to rule out any problems with hypermobility, which was fine. I have managed to get him referred to speech and language, although not sure how long this will take. Hopefully this will highlight or rule out other issues then I can go from there. Thanks for your help so far, it really is appreciated.
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