Mihaela

Hello Justine! The things that are noticeable is that she did take her time to talk and started walking 19months, when she did she walked on her toes all the time, now she does a bit of both. She also started removing clothing even in public from around 8months and now she refuses to wear a coat when we out. She does throw tantrums but given her age they seem normal. All this sounds pretty normal for her age. Do the nursery know you have sons on the autism spectrum? If so, maybe they're just playing safe. I know a lot about girls with Asperger's, and their traits are generally a lot more subtle, and because of this they can be easily overlooked. (Only about 10% of girls show the male traits). I don't know much about girls with classic 'low functioning' autism. The AS girl-boy difference is partly due to differing parental expectations. Girls' special interests appear to be more 'normal' (yet equally intense). Aspie girls are generally better socially, for cultural reasons and because they've been brought up to be so. A big difference - the higher empathy/lower systemising of AS girls, seems to have a stronger neurological basis. However, concern about your daughter's development at this early age wouldn't indicate Asperger's syndrome, but rather a possibilty of 'classic' autism. But, girls with "classic" autism generally have lower nonverbal intelligence than boys: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=%28%28%28Lord[Author]%29%20AND%20Sex%20differences%20in%20autism%29%20AND%20%28Journal%20of%20Autism%20and%20Developmental%20Disorders%29%29%20AND%201982 From what you say, it therefore seems pretty unlikely that your daughter is autistic, and most likely the nursery is just erring on the side of caution. Let's hope her assessment finds nothing amiss.

Welcome Louie! over time I have realised that I don't see things in the same way as others (who I consider normal). I am very emotionally detached but massively logical and see arguments as black or white. This sounds like typical male-type AS. OCD is a common misdiagnosis, and often occurs with AS. You need a proper diagnosis by a specialist in adult AS - nothing less is good enough. I have OC traits, and in the past had full-blown OCD. However, my behaviour / approach to life is now putting strain on my relationship, this exaggerated by the return of our step son home......which has really disrupted my routine and is a constant source for me to point out what should or shouldn't be done (I know I do it but don't seem to be able to help myself) This suggests anankastic personality disorder (F60.5 in the ICD-10) - quite different from OCD, and also known as OCPD. I have a close friend who has it. This too can occur with AS, is harder to treat, but can be reduced by about a third with professional support. My friend had children, and her partner left her, due to her OCPD, and the children had to be take away to live with relatives in another country. She still sees them twice a year in her home country, and she knows it's best for them and that she can't help being the way she is. I find her OCPD difficult but she's fun too, and I'm very fond of her as a person. She's very empathic, and doesn't have AS. Are you sure the 30-minute consultation suggested OCD rather than OCPD? They are often commonly confused but are quite distinct - and their causes very different. - would diagnosis help - ie will i be given coping techniques? It certainly would, and they have a statutory duty under the Autism Act to provide support/therapy. (Yet they seem to flout this far too often where adults are concerned. It seems to be a postcode lottery) - would counselling help for me and my wife - to help her understanding Yes, providing it was done by someone with experience of AS (or OCPD, or both - depending on diagnosis). - anyone have any experience of private diagnosis - I am lucky enough to have private medical cover with mental health cover. I understand a psychologist and a psychiatrist need to be involved along with mother/father or sibling to give full insight in to childhood. On my GP's advice I had a private diagnosis over another issue. I wasn't all that much quicker, but I got it without any great difficulty. It involved a specialist psychiatrist, a general one and a psychotherapist and was quite a prolonged process. Your second post: Problem is I am so picky over the things that get left out, moved, not tidied up or the times that I know what is happening and then suddenly it changes because of his plans....makes me really uncomfortable and I just say it as it is - I read bits of the secret guide to aspergers - you don't need to tell people their wrong even if they are...etc, but it just seems natural to me and if I see something is a problem I should raise it..... Again, classic OCPD. ICD-10: It is characterized by at least three of the following: feelings of excessive doubt and caution; preoccupation with details, rules, lists, order, organization, or schedule; perfectionism that interferes with task completion; excessive conscientiousness, scrupulousness, and undue preoccupation with productivity to the exclusion of pleasure and interpersonal relationships; excessive pedantry and adherence to social conventions; rigidity and stubbornness; unreasonable insistence by the individual that others submit exactly to his or her way of doing things or unreasonable reluctance to allow others to do things; intrusion of insistent and unwelcome thoughts or impulses. Includes: compulsive and obsessional personality (disorder) obsessive-compulsive personality disorder Excludes: obsessive-compulsive disorderTry this test: http://www.psymed.info/default.aspx?m=Test&id=85&l=3 Even if you score high it doesn't mean you don't also have Asperger's. Good luck!

Very good advice, Waterboatman. I ate very well until my mum died. Made ambitious meals, and she liked cooking for me too. I tried to keep this up after she died. At first I lost my appetite but gradually improved. I'd spend my usual amount of money on food. Then all the trouble with solicitors and council started. My stress levels shot up. I realised I had bad executive function (I'd never heard of that term until then) and so I began spending as little as possible on anything. That's when my eating got seriously worse. Now that I've a warning from my GP I'm slowly beginning to eat better, by spending more, and I've even done a little cooking in the past couple of weeks. Tomorrow I'll go out and visit the greengrocery stall at the market. Oops! That reminds me, I must take my folic acid tablet! (I'm very forgetful) Work is hard to get, impossible in my condition, and I became unwanted once I hit 45. I last worked for money in 1976, and soon realised that I could never keep up a 5-day a week job. The social aspect of work put me right off. I also get bored very quickly, but never when I'm alone absorbed in my special interests. If I'd had a diagnosis long ago, I'd have realised that I could have managed part time work with animals or children. Instead, I happily lived off about 20 pounds a week for decades.. (I was a children's gymnastics coach and judge for 20 years - and I needed to be fit for that, and I was! About 12hrs/week but unpaid). I could never be self-employed for I've no interest in making money, and couldn't handle the money side of things. I do not have a massive problem with people, just so long as there are not very many of them. I know of no approach other than avoidance as far as socialising goes. Same here. Not very many and not for more than a hour or two. I find it easier getting with Aspies, especially if we have common interests. (I have so many, that it's often easy to find common ground even with those who have few interests). I was forced 'a condition of employment' to go to the companies Xmas party, they got very drunk. Aaaargh!

Interesting post Laddo. It can be hard sometimes having more 'female' traits sometimes. I'm still very much a bloke in many ways, but I still have people questioning my masculinity and even sexual orientation as a result. I can well believe it. People seem hooked on stereotypes. I think part of it is that a lot of men still think they have to show no emotion to be a 'real man' which I think is quite pathetic. It just suggests they're deeply insecure. Yes. It's a very British/Teutonic thing. Eastern and southern European men openly show emotions. It even shows in their traditional music (known as 'populare' in Romania - because it is, and with all ages) National psyches fascinate me... However I wouldn't say having no empathy is a particularly male thing. True, but it's more likely to be found in males. The vast majority of crime is committed by men, and the most prison inmates have personality disorders where a lack of empathy is key. The woman you mentioned definitely sounds like she's a lot more going on than just Asperger's if she can't wait for her family to die. ... Sadly it sounds like she's become a product of the endless materialism that is flooding our planet and she thinks money is everything. Has she considering a career in politics? She sounds like she fits the role perfectly! I'm sure you're right over the first part, but you're wrong with over second. That's what makes her such a very, very unusual case. She's not really materialistic at all, but is addicted to receiving and never giving - not even a card. Her meanness is pathological and unparallelled. She won't even allow her mother to use the toilet at her home - for it wastes water. She won't even give me a glass of water when I'm dehydrated. She's obsessively mean with herself too. I could go on and on. Yes, it's quite horrific how some people watch these sorts of videos for pleasure. I used to know someone who watched them quite regularly. He's a compulsive liar, steals from his 'friends' and also seems to have very little empathy too. Sounds like a classic criminal profile to me. Much more could be done to prevent PD's by addressing the early traits during childhood. This would drastically reduce crime, but society has a vested interest in maintaining narcissists and sociopaths in business, politics, police forces, etc. It's interesting you comparing this sort of thing to a Victorian freak show. I've always thought programmes like The Jeremy Kyle Show are just like the freak shows, too. You won't belive this, but my odd 'friend' lives for Jeremy Kyle and Big Brother - the high points of her day. Her daily routine hinges on getting back home in time to watch them. Very sad. I could say a lot more about this. That's a good point regarding your cats. Dogs are designed to be carnivorous too yet they will still try and eat anything and everything. Part of meat eating is, as you say, a cultural thing. Cultures don't like to break habits unfortunately, hence the fact that we are still in a very unequal society and the fact that difference people tend to be stigmatised. Yes, we tend not to question why we do the things that we do, especially when everyone else around us is doing the same things. We take so much for granted, assuming that we've chosen what is best. Just because it's always been the way, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's natural or right. It may be highly unnatural and very wrong. There are probably a few people on this forum and elsewhere who are passionate about all these things. It's just a shame that we're all so scattered throughout the UK otherwise it would be great for us all to meet up and discuss what we want to change and how we're going to do it Er...I might be one of them! ...and, yes, that little geographical problem has dogged my life.

Latest update: That meeting with the housing association advisor went far better than I imagined. I never panicked but I did get angry at some of the comments made by the council in a long, jargon-riddled, incomprehensible letter. Even the advisor couldn't understand it. He phoned them and I had to confirm my identity (a silly ritual, for I could have been anybody). I became wary when she attempted to carry on speaking after this ritual had ended. She said her records stated that I'd moved house and my old house was empty and liable to much higher council tax. This made me angry for I haven't moved at all! I couldn't speak any more so I just passed the receiver over to the very assertive advisor. It seems they're making many further mistakes. Even information on their website seriously conflicted with what they were telling him. It turned out that a couple more 'pretend' court summonses were amongst my junk mail. I was to take no notice of them, and he's now trying to sort out this latest mess. All this rigmarole took over two hours, and by the time it had finished I was totally drained. Couldn't face doing shopping, so walked back the long way through the woods to avoid the stress of cars and roads and people. I've eaten nothing since, and it's gone 9pm

That's a purrrfect reply, Kitty! Full of common sense - a rare commodity. This is so important: Celebrate her for what she is, and try listing all the positives

Great news! Thanks, WB. It makes life a lot easier for all of us It's obvious that you get upset about things. We all do. Sometimes my words may sound harsh, but I try to be fair. They're nevr intended to hurt. Sometimes we have to question why we do get so upset, whether it's reasonable and whether there's something deeper causing it. I know it's helped me improve a lot by questioning my negative traits. When we confront them, we're more than half-way to eliminating them altogether. They often originate from things that happened in our childhoods which become blown out of all proportion. @Unusual - On other forums I sometimes used to write long posts on a document page, work on them to get them exactly right - I'm very pedantic, and something of a perfectionist - quite typically Aspie! When I was happy with what I'd written I'd copy and paste into the forum, not needing to edit it. Some forums allow a permanent edit/delete facility for posts, but this one doesn't. Anything posted here stays here, unless edited pretty quickly. @Pan - welcome! Ten minutes must surely be a record diagnosis! I'm envious

PS - Waterboatman, I see you made a another post just before mine - a far more sensible one, but still not all that reasonable. I'll try to explain what I mean: Laddo I keep forgetting that I am communicating with people on the autistic spectrum. This is surely irrelevant. It shouldn't matter whether we're on the spectrum or not. We should all treat other as we would wish to be treated ourselves - in this case by sensible, polite, reasoned discussion. Honestly wether people are vegetarian or not is just an accident of history and really matters not a great deal so long as their health is satisfactory. All that really matters is that they get all their physical requirements from their diet, including supplements as necessary. Very true, but I'll add another little proviso: as long as animals don't suffer in the process. Promoting vegetarianism is another thing, and remain firmly apposed to it. This sounds an extremist approach to me. Are you opposed to freedom of speech and expression? I could equally say that I was 'firmly opposed' to the promotion of the eating of dead animals. It would only be my opinion, and therefore worthless. If you have buddhist leanings, its simple you become a vegan. Or if you simply have a strong empathy for suffering - which is central to Buddhism, isn't it? 'Ahimsa'? A good diet rich in all you need, means that you function in all aspects better than you would otherwise. Poor diet will exaggerate any brain malfunction, including depression. I know very well about that. Yes, yes, YES! I'm so glad we agree on something.

Thanks, Laddo I'm sorry Waterboatman, but your comments do appear hostile, unreasonable and quite uncalled for. I don't know any other aspies who behave like this. You ignored my requests for evidence of your assertions, so I can only assume that you have none. You also ignore the very reason that I am vegetarian - namely, that I don't agree with harming and causing suffering to sentient beings. "Milhaela the best that I can say, is that I do not need to prove anything" Oh yes you do, that's if you're making claims that others question. If that truly is your 'best', then I'm not impressed; it's hardly supporting your assertions is it? I can only assume that you're in denial and can't even provide the basic evidence to support them - otherwise you would surely do so. vegetarianism is a recent invention and all its supporting data is written by the same 'fluffy' type people who came up with it in the first place. Absolutely false!! I've studied the history of vegetarianism in depth, and in Europe it goes at least as far back as the Greek philosophers. The Cathars of France practised it, so does Buddhism, Jainism, Hinduism, etc. It has a long and distinguished ancestry. As for the 'fluffy' types, if you mean irrational New Age type thinking I have nothing to do with it. I'm talking about serious peer-reviewed anthropological, scientific and medical research, as well as serious philosophical and ethical debate. You are a convert to it, albeit when you where young, its about the same age as my grand mothers conversion, she had the sense to eat fish... Please don't compare it to a religion, it is a moral stance. I SIMPLY CARE FOR ANIMALS, and you sidetrack this crucial issue. By saying your grandmother had the 'sense' to eat fish, what on earth do you mean by 'sense'? ...Or is it just your opinion. I see no point in pursuing this further. ...and it's so obvious why - for you can't provide any rational justification for your weak claims. I do not like people going on about vegetarianism That's pretty obvious too, you clearly have a bee in your bonnet about it. Whether you like it or not is irrelevant. I don't like people going on about eating dead animals. It's a pretty disgusting habit, in my opinion - but so what? Opinions are irrelevant - unlike facts. its a stupid compromise between having a broad unlimited diet and being a 'vegan'. Stupid? You're not making sense. Maybe I'm a bit thick... I have been a vegan, its really quite a boring way to eat Boring? How sad! In my experience it's exciting and we eat a far greater range of food that the average (unimaginative) meat-eater. I was young, I saw vegetarianism for what it is. Did you really? Maybe that's where you made your big mistake. I have never been a member of the 'fluffy bunny' brigade, but for a time I was very 'Buddhist'. I'm not a follower of any fashion, group, 'brigade' or religion - never have been. I value and cultivate my independent thinking and reasoning. All life has its value, who can say wether a tree has a soul or not. So living true to life is the best way forward. If you had read my earlier post you'd have noticed me quoting that old chestnut used by meat-eaters trying to justify their habit: "But plants may feel pain". You've virtually said the said the same thing - but in a metaphysical sense - thus proving my point. Actually, I'm more interested in sentience than 'souls' - 'fluffiness' in the extreme. Pain is felt by all sentient beings, and this requires a developed nervous system. Trees lack nervous systems. As for having 'souls' you'd better ask God, for that little matter lies in the realm of religious speculation. I too live 'true to life'; my philosophy is simple: goodness, truth and beauty (the transcendental triad). Ultimately, nothing else matters. "Each transcends the limitations of place and time, and is rooted in being. The transcendentals are not contingent upon cultural diversity, religious doctrine, or personal ideologies, but are the objective properties of all that exists... where there is truth, there is beauty and goodness also" I prefer to call it the existential triad. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transcendentals No offence intended, but you really do need to educate yourself a little more. Please gracefully accept that you're not well informed on this subject, and try to keep any inflammatory opinions to yourself in future. If you wish to pursue this discussion do your homework first - for your own sake.

Labarum In hoc signo vinces - a vision supposedly witnessed by Constantine, which changed the course of history. ...I like making things difficult Actually, this plays an enormously important role in one of my greatest special interests.

Amazing! I can't do anything like this. I think it might be a more male trait, but I'm very good with two dimensional maps. I can read them for hours like books, and visualise the terrain. I have a quite a collection of them - large scale ones too - both of Britain and parts of Europe. I like old maps too, and I'm fascinated by the origins of place-names, farm-names, field & river names, etc. There's a kind of poetry in them. When I was small I'd spend hours drawing maps of imaginary places. I still think a lot of imaginary places and times - idyllic Arcadias and Golden Ages.....

I'd have benefited enormously. My life would have been very different and much happier. My parents would have understood why I was different, and so would I. They would have suffered far less. They'd have known how to support and help me, known what to expect of me, and would have better understood my limitations and strengths. I wouldn't have suffered from years of school bullying - with its lasting scars. In adult life, I'd have found work that I enjoyed - instead of never having had paid work since 1976. I would have been much happier in myself, and far less confused. My life would have been much, much easier. I'd have been persecuted far less. ...I could go on and on thinking of how things could have been so different. I feel cheated out of most of my life, not an easy thing to accept. There are lots of grey areas in psychology and they vary with fashions and cultures. Diagnosis isn't not an absolute science - intuition and discretion play a part. Even professionals who specialise in ASD can have difficulty diagnosing borderline cases. Sometimes they get it wrong - but less so nowadays I expect.

No worries, UnusualPatronus, and welcome! You'll probably notice that I tend to go on a bit especially when discussing my many special interests. You'll also notice that edit my posts a lot - but I'm determined not to edit this one

I'm sorry to hear about the trouble you're having. There must very many of us in similar situations. The 'system' is heartless and hypocritical. If we had true communities in this country, we'd help those of our neighbours who needed it - as people still do in many parts of the world. Modern British 'values' are killing off altruism and community spirit in favour of an "I'm-alright-Jack" attitude. We're all entitled to our opinions, but to have value they need be more than mere statements. I could just as blithely claim the opposite of what you claim, but it would be worthless without supporting it with verifiable facts. I'll listen to carefully reasoned and informed opinions, but mere unsupported assertions get us nowhere. Your dismissive approach in that other post can hardly be called serious debate. I welcome intelligent debate on any subject, but opinions are just that - opinions - and will remain so. Suggesting that those who disagree with our opinions (whether informed or not) should be hung is utterly ridiculous - but quite disturbing too. (By the way, I'm strongly opposed to hanging - an opinion based on much thought and studying of ethics and criminology). Having said all this, I'm still open to learning about how you came to hold this opinion. Especially evidence for this: Where specific extreme diet standards apply, the local populations have 'evolved' to support the diet. ...and this: It is not wise for the general population of these isles to have anything other than a broad unlimited varied diet. I've never heard any such claim made before. However, your following statement sounds reasonable and makes sense. I presume you're talking about Omega-3 and Omega-6 and the virtually inabilty in males to produce long-chain fatty acids from short-chains.

Mihaela, after 23 years of eating meat I think you have finally tipped me over the edge - I am going to become a vegetarian! Haha! I'm always tipping people over edges (not literally, and in the nicest possible way). Congratulations! My father, stepmother and brother are all vegetarian so I know how delicious vegetarian cooking can be! Well. you've no excuse then! Eating habits are addictions just like smoking, drugs, gambling, alcoholism, chocoholism , shopping, watching soaps, hoarding, etc. They can be controlled or stopped if we're determined enough and have support. Some addictions are culturally approved - such as meat eating, but all addictions are harmful to self and/or others. I feel like a rare breed among men, especially aspie men: I'm very empathetic too, almost to point where it is painful at times. It sounds as if you might have dominant female-type aspie traits. I know about 10% of women have the male traits, so it probably applies the other way too. I know an aspie woman who has zero empathy, even for her own family. She can't wait for them to die so that she can inherit their money. Because of this and other extreme traits I certain she has a lot more going on than Asperger's. I had to watch a few animal welfare videos at school and although they made me feel a bit sick, I forced myself to watch every second of them. I've seen many such videos (and also seen it in real life), but I can no longer watch these any more - they are too horrific - like human beheadings, stonings, etc. I know only too well how bad it is, so I don't need educating any more. Many people watch stuff like this, as well as gory accidents, gross deformities, child abuse, extreme pornography, anorexia, etc. out of a morbid voyeuristic curiosity, and it can become compulsive/addictive with some. Some are sadist psychopaths. It's the equivalent of the Victorian freak shows, tourists paying to watch the Bedlam inmates, bear-baiting, etc. It woke me up to a few things - the fragility of life and how quickly it can be extinguished, Yes! How few of us are truly aware of this! the reality of both what is inside us and its relation to what ends up on our plates on a regular basis and the brutality of meat production. Yes! Reality, i.e. truth. We can't escape it. You put this very well Nothing but my own weakness to the taste of some meat has kept me from turning vegetarian since then. Most people try to rationalise their habits and addictions. It's good to see that you don't. Your reason is shared by most meat-eaters who are confronted with the facts, the difference being that they'd rarely admit this, preferring to rationalise it and cite dubious 'research' to support their opinions. They often come up with the inane remark: "But you can't prove plants don't feel pain". That link I posted was just the first one I found. There's much more and in greater detail. it is arguably likely that our common genetic ancestors had a similar diet to a chimp's Of course it is. This is logical - and scientific. The same reasoning applies to all similar species. A lion's DNA is close to a domestic cat's - both are carnivores. My cats behave as if they're omnivores. If my back's turned they'll eat cakes, bread, melon, biscuits, cabbage, potato, etc. simply because they live with me, watch me eating and have adapted. If we suppose all domestic cats do this, anyone who claims that we are omnivores may as well claim the same of cats, but they'd be wrong for there would be no biological basis for this opinion. We domesticated ourselves with the help of fire, weapons and eventually rearing animals for food. I think I'm quite similar to you in that I love learning new facts and seeking truth, I am very compassionate and empathetic and I have a strong aesthetic side to me, hence my love of art. All of those traits combined have been slowly awakening in me a desire to get out there and fight for changes, to try and make a difference - however small - to the world we live in. I am a strong believer in equality and hate injustice. Perhaps fighting for change would help with the ADHD symptoms? After all, many of the symptoms I experience are rooted in frustration. We sound so very similar! I'm passionate about all this too

That's logically... FLAWLESS!

All progress towards a more civilised world has had to be fought for, and many sacrifices have been made. If we don't fight, the wealthy and powerful elites will always try to keep us subdued and subservient. I'm struggling alone to get myself heard - not easy, frustrating and tiring. So what can we do together to get ourselves heard as a group? How do we organise?

Oops, nor did I It must be catching. Hi, Scorpileo!

I just hate the way people are made to stress out by government or council computer system's that aren't written correctly and consistently dish out complete rubbish. Not just the computer systems, Dotmars, but their blind obsession with 'procedure' and pigeon-holing us all, their arrogance, their bare-faced lies, and their unwillingness to accept they have done wrong - as I learnt to my eternal regret when I was naive enough to phone them explaining my situation. I now see them as a prime example of how not to treat customers and of everything that's wrong in this world. And yes, Laddo - they do make it up as they go along, blithely ignoring their own guidelines, twisting them in their favour to suit the occasion, not to mention their statutory duties under the Autism and Equality Acts. I have the written proof of this - many pages of creative dishonesty and meaningless jargon churned out to cover up themselves. The last thing they want is to get caught up in claims for compensation. I suppose volunteering keeps me linked with the NT world in a non-threatening, safer way - and also it's worth doing for its own sake. Without volunteers where we be?

I wonder how many autistic homeless people there are out there? Exactly! There but for the grace of God go I... I bet you can almost hear echoes of the children playing in the old school... Loss and the transience of childhood (and life itself) has always haunted me, and places like that evoke these feelings very strongly. Places where other lives were lived by people I never knew. I found an old tent in the woods that looked like the campers had just abandoned it after it got destroyed or something. Most of the tent pegs and all the tent poles and guy ropes were gone for some reason but everything else was still there: a rusty old camping stove, some food packaging with an expiry date of two years ago and some tattered trousers and a t-shirt. I was amazed no one had found it since it had been abandoned. The whole thing felt kind of ghostly This reminds of when I was about ten and exploring the woods. I found a little abandoned cabin, complete with a little neglected garden, which had once clearly been tended. I later found out that a hermit had lived there who kept several cats, dogs and a pet seagull. Injured animals and birds were taken to him and he'd repair their broken legs and wings, etc. He'd fought in the war and what he experienced made him retreat from the world. Many of his belongings were still there, including an ancient radio from the 1920s (worked off accumulators that he got recharged in the village). His books ended up with the local historian, and I now have one of them. In the same village a woman lived alone in a small wooden house, and was teased by the local children who called her a witch. After she died, it emerged that she was a talented artist whose paintings of European cities and portraits fetch high prices. She'd attended an art school and exhibited her work yet nobody locally ever knew. I wouldn't be surprised if they'd both been aspies. Nowadays there's little opportunity to live like this in England which I think is a shame and a sign of an unhealthy society. We are expected to adapt to fast, modern life, and many of us just can't.

It's not whether I want to believe, for I'd always submit to scientiic proof whether one way or the other. Truth simply is - it's eternal, irrefutable, but often very elusive. (I think it was Plato who said that it lay at the bottom of a well). The uncomfortable facts so far are that science has been unable to disprove the existence of ghosts and other paranormal phenomena. (Parapsychology is one of my interests) It makes feeble attempts to do so, but on close scrutiny they all prove to be flawed and biassed - which is itself unscientific. Academia is good at this kind of 'clever' deception for they have vested interests to maintain. My own experiences all seemed very real at the time. The presence I experienced one night while staying at a friend's was very real. I was wide awake trying to get to sleep in a room normally used as a children's playroom, but had once been their bedroom. The light was off and my eyes closed, when I sensed that very familiar 'coldness' in the core of my body (which always happens at these times). Soon after, I heard distinct heavy footsteps coming slowly and diagonally across the room, from the door to a corner where there was a big box of toys. I instinctively knew that what I could hear wasn't a living person. I heard a lot of rummaging in the toy box and was too terrified to open my eyes. Somehow I managed to reach out and feel for the bedside lamp. As soon as the lamp was on the coldness and noises ceased, and when I opened my eyes there was nothing odd to be seen. For the rest of the night I left the light on. I never stayed there again. The following morning, my host asked if I'd had a good night. I told her about the ghost, and she said: "Oh, so you've heard it too!" It turned out that her children had also heard it and had long refused to sleep in that room. This puts to bed (!) any notion that I'd been dreaming, although I knew 100% that I hadn't. By the way, I also have regular lucid dreams - I can control them and decide to fully wake up at any point within them. My dreams are often so beautiful and interesting that I don't want to wake up. I've never had a nightmare. Is this an aspie thing? As for consecrated ground - an interesting point. I sense that feeling of consecrated ground in all numinous and many liminal places - I don't mean literally in the religious sense, but in some way hallowed by 'good' intent at some time in the distant past. Similarly, we can sense the opposite at places where murders and massacres, etc. took place. A family friend had once survived the horrors of Ravensbrück concentration camp, and I was brought up on her stories. I can imagine such places retain their atmosphere for centuries, yet as far as I know, they don't attract stories of ghosts. Why not?

Yes, good idea, I'll look for some and post it. I've not written much poetry, but recently I was talking to an aspie friend who says she's started a course on creative writing, including poetry, and that's inspired me to do a little more myself. Most of what I write is either very obscure and 'technical' or general essays on just about any aspect of life - including my own life and how I see the world.

Very wise advice, Dotmars - and interesting. "be wary that abandoned places can often become hang outs for the homeless/ squatters/ drug addicts". This applied to a very big old abandoned residential school I visited. Eventually they caused a fire, but the building still exists and has been empty for at least 10 years now. I found all the personal records and photos of the children scattered about when I visited soon after it had closed - many very recent. It doesn't say much for data protection. The place had an atmosphere of pathos - children's paintings crumpled and trodden on, exercise books, abandoned toys, a doll's head, clothes, etc. Quite sad and moving. What would their parents have thought, I wonder?

Waterboatman. I too have no time for 'silly diets', food faddism, etc. and I base this opinion on scientific evidence, so I hope it's a sound and informed opinion. I'm sorry, but I've yet to see any evidence that a vegetarian diet is 'silly' - quite the opposite in fact.. Trendy diets are profit-motivated and exploit our weaknesses. I used to cook quite a lot, and meat-eating friends would enthuse about how delicious my vegetarian cooking was. Now I barely cook at all Tony Attwood recognises that it's a common trait for female aspies to feel more for animals than people (and to have 'remarkable' levels of empathy for both). I feel equally for both and can't bear either to suffer. Let's suppose that eating meat was proven to be healthier than vegetarianism (even though all the research increasingly says otherwise) I would still not eat it - for I don't wish to be complicit in suffering in any way. Can we care too much? I don't think so. I challenge any thinking, feeling person to study this subject deeply and not begin questioning themselves and their relationship with the natural world. In my own family, after I gave up meat, the others all followed over the next 20 years or so. My mother died at 93, and was still working around the house and garden. My father had smoked for most of his life, died at 76, and his colon cancer was almost certainly exacerbated by meat eating. If we were true omnivores we'd eat uncooked carrion, worms and insects - so why don't we?. Unlike true omnivores, we have socially adapted to an omnivorous diet which involves using fire (cooking). We lack the biological attributes of carnivores - claws, speed, canine teeth, short digestive tracts, etc. Example: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/09/are-humans-carnivores-or-herbivores-2/ One of my special interests is learning - seeking truth, i.e. facts. I'm quite open to changing my opinions in the light of new, more convincing or irrefutable information - and often have done, having read up on it, checked sources, agendas, etc. Truth often hurts, but it's persistent, and I either have gracefully to submit to it or deceive myself - put my head in the sand - which I simply can't do. That's my logical thinking/scientific/analytical side at work. Another 'special interest' could be termed compassion or love - my intuitive, feeling, empathic side, and the third one is seeking beauty, my aesthetic side. All are far more 'extreme' than would be found in a typical NT person. These three passions gradually turned me into the polymath-philomath that I now am. They're central to my life, thinking and world-view, and I strive to live and act accordingly. By the way, I once asked a materially-poor Moldovan girl (aged about 17) what her ambitions were. She simply replied that she'd strive to learn as much as she could about the world, do her best in everything she did, help anyone in need and make the world a better place. She had no wish for wealth or fame and not a trace of vanity. I never forgot this. I only wish everyone was like her. PS - You don't have to use comfrey leaves to get that bacon flavour but it helps. Just spread yeast extract on bread and fry it!

I've studied and written on the philosophy, ethics, history and health benefits of veganism. I doubt that there's much that I don't already know about it. Much research has been done on the health benefits over eating animal products. But for me all this pales into insignificance when I consider the deliberate killing of other sentient beings by humans for food. Then there's the whole murky subject of animal husbandry itself. By all means choose the most humanely reared meat if you feel you need to eat meat, but it still has to be killed. That's what I cannot come to terms with. Eating roadkill or animals that have died naturally - yes, but I could never kill a living, breathing, feeling being, so why should I expect someone else to do the dirty work for me? I for one couldn't look an animal in its eyes and then kill it. Few people could. It takes a certain type to do that, and it's long been recognised that these people tend to have low IQs combined with psychopathic personality traits - which stands to reason. Cases of gratuitous cruelty are common in slaughterhouses, just as they were in workhouses, asylums and orphanages - in fact in any place where people can wield power over their defenceless, trapped charges. We don't kill our pets. Why then kill a pig - who is as intelligent as a dog and makes a good pet? What makes a pig or hen any less worthy of living a happy life? By the way, meat rearing is a grossly inefficient use of valuable land, and also causes many environmental problems. Sorry for going off topic, but I feel strongly about exploitation whether of people or animals of the natural environment As for that bacon taste, try spreading yeast extract onto comfrey leaves and frying them until crisp.