Laddo
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Posts posted by Laddo
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Are you saying should we beat children again to stop them misbehaving? That obviously has no positive effects either as there were still plenty of bullies back in those days, plus former bullies from those days have since grown up to become psychopaths. If anything it's just going to teach them that if someone wrongs you, it is acceptable to inflict physical pain upon them. This leads to behaviour like spousal abuse later in life. What we need to do is start actually talking to kids and find out why they misbehave and bully other kids. There's always a reason for bullies being the way they are, whether it's coming from a broken family, being bullied themselves or being physically, emotionally and/or sexually abused.
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A few members have expressed interest in an aspie meet up for members in their respective regions. I've always thought this is a brilliant idea to unite aspies around the country and would like to spark some interest. Now this is all just ideas and obviously nothing is concrete yet, but with enough support and planning I see no reason why this couldn't go ahead.
I think meet ups should be organised in a way that requires as little travelling as possible as quite a few aspies find travel stressful. Therefore the meet ups would ideally be organised into county or, in the case of larger, more densely populated counties, organised by county borough. The actual town or city in which a meet up is held would be decided by vote to be as fair as possible. Members within a region would volunteer to organise their meet up - this could be done by just one member or more, depending on how many people volunteer.Of course, a big priority would be on safety of the members. I was thinking that the 'safety in numbers' approach would be best for something like this - I think there would have to be a minimum of four members per meet up to ensure the safety of other members. I'm not saying anyone on this forum is dangerous or anything like that, I just want to ensure that no one gets hurt.Activities-wise, this would be up to the organisers of each local meet up and maybe decided by vote? Ideally the activities would not be somewhere too busy or crowded as this may upset some members.So what does everything think of this idea? Feedback is very welcome, provided it's constructive. I would be up for organising a Kent or southeast meet up if any other members were interested. -
I feel the same way flyingmoccassin. All too often my GP has refused to refer me for psychotherapy in favour of putting me on an antidepressant which I know won't work for me. If you look up how most modern antidepressants work, you find that all they really do is slowly release serotonin. The euphoria produced by serotonin is only really effective if either accompanied by dopamine release (which is dangerous as it can lead to addiction) or if it is released in high doses. If you know exactly what the antidepressant does it makes them pretty ineffective - I'm pretty sure most antidepressants rely on the placebo effect, which is unlikely to work for intelligent, logical aspies. I know that just offloading some of my worries and training myself to think about them in an alternate light is the best way to treat my depression, and yet my doctors will always assume they know best.
I would be very interested to hear a GP give an accurate description of exactly how the antidepressants they always palm off on people actually help with depression. Like every single detail on how the pill stimulates production and release of serotonin in the brain, the half-life of the drug, the other effects it has on the body etc. Also, does anyone find it odd how so many medications are regularly prescribed to people when they are essentially just slightly different versions of various illegal drugs? For example, ritalin, a drug often prescribed for ADHD, is very similar in chemical composition and effects to cocaine and carries all the same risks, including heavy addiction. Yet one is deemed safe while the other is not. It makes you wonder who gets paid off by whom to advocate the so-called 'safe' drugs
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Groans
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Very nice Mihaela, powerful stuff!
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It would be nice to get some more feedback on this... I mean why view the topic if you're not even gonna reply to it?
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I'm not so sure bullies do have high confidence. Sure, they have enough front to appear as if they're confident but I think deep down, a lot of them are actually deeply insecure. It's often the reason why they bully other people - to mask their own insecurities and to direct attention away from it. I've known many bullies in my time and they have usually had issues with family and such
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The Valley of Fear by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
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Whoa, I've really fallen behind in all this! I'm absolutely appalled at how all this has turned out so far. It's sickening that the council and NHS can be so blasé about a vulnerable person struggling like this. I'm actually really angry on your behalf! I'm also very worried about the fact that you're having to walk 8 miles for your appointment. No one should have to do this, especially someone who isn't eating enough.
Have you looked into online shopping? It might ease the stress of going to the supermarket a little, which in turn will help you to make decisions a bit better.I really really want to do something to help you but I feel quite helpless being on the other side of the country.
Just had a thought: if the powers that be keep messing you about like this, maybe the members of this forum can collectively do something like create a petition to make the council and NHS actually start giving you some help?
I seriously hope David Cameron and all his cronies get infected with a horrific, incurable, humiliating and painful disease for all the vulnerable people they have failed like this. It all makes me want to go to the Tory headquarters and smash things up.
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Tread on me
Crush me
Ignore me
Hate me
For I am nothing
Worse than all
Full of suffering
Further I fall
Down I go
Sink into your hell
I heard your 'no'
As to hell I fell
What am I to you?
What wrong do I do?
I am nothing
We both know it's true
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Deleted comment as was nothing more than a pointless rant
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Hmm, it sounds like he could have Asperger's but it also seems likely he's got some kind of personality disorder, too. It sounds like he totally lacks empathy - I know aspies are often cited as having none but from what I've seen and heard from other aspies, this is a lie made up by NTs to make us sound like bad people. With the slobbiness, maybe he suffers from depression, too. My brother is the same in that when I shared a flat with him, he never cleaned. Like I would start cleaning the flat and he would just sit there on his laptop while I unclogged the shower of his hair etc. Or maybe the guy is just chronically lazy. I think he does need to follow up that assessment.
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I fear that it's the worst kind of fame - I can't help but feel like I'm constantly being judged negatively by those who 'view from afar'.
I'm finding motivation to pursue my interests is slipping day-by-day. The loneliness has broken me, as it were. Thanks society, thanks for making me feel like I can't even be myself. Good job.
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That was exactly how I was trying to portray myself but maybe that's just not what the kind of guy most women want. Or maybe I'm just ugly. I wish no one had told me I'm good looking now - so-called 'white lies' like that just make things worse for people. What a horrible, depressing thought.
I wish I could enjoy being single. But I feel incomplete without a partner. I feel like half of me is missing and it almost hurts. I get on much better with aspie women than men anyway and basically never seeing women socially makes things all the harder. I don't feel able to let out my (many) more 'feminine' traits around male friends without fear of being bullied for it.
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Sorry, I misunderstood. My fault!
I'm a great supporter father's rights and of Angry Harry's website and have made comments on there expressing my strong feelings over the raw deal suffered by men in the name of flawed 'feminist' ideology. (Not my idea of feminism at all).
It is so refreshing to see someone take this balanced view of things. It seems that usually with the most vocal people on genders issues, we only get people taking things to extremes, with 'feminists' who have a skewed view of all women as intelligent, morally-good members of society who can do no wrong on one end of the scale and chauvinistic, trolling woman haters who view women as little more than cooking, cleaning sex machines at the other end of the scale. At the end of the day men and women are different, and that's a good thing. Men and women should be learning from each other, not constantly fighting. I feel sorry for the people who buy into the 'women are better' mentality as they fail to see the true enemy - it is not men as a whole, but capitalism. A huge number of women still feel uncomfortable with their bodies because advertising tells them that to be acceptable, they must spend huge amounts of money on expensive makeup, dieting supplements and worse, plastic surgery. All too often I have found myself trying and failing to comfort women who are naturally beautiful both inside and outside that they look fine without makeup etc. The female celebrities that promote all this should be ashamed with themselves, but the millions they gain from endorsing such products likely destroy their consciences. If they ever had one to begin with - there is something very narcissistic and psychopathic about the need to be in the media limelight all the time. Having said that, in the past I have found myself thinking I must be more muscular to be considered attractive and have had women trying to comfort me that I look fine as I am. It's no accident that male celebrities tend to be well-muscled, have strong (surgically altered) jawlines etc.
Unfortunately, NT society itself tends to identify biophilic traits with femininity, and biophobic traits with masculinity. Society reflects our archetypal tendency towards dualistic black-and-white thinking and loves to generalise, but reality is never that simple. This way of thinking has been caused by the way society encourages sex roles when bringing up children. There happen to be two rather than one or three sexes - ideal material for our dualist ways of thinking. Society links those sex roles to particular traits which are labelled more or less, rightly or wrongly, masculine or feminine. Some of these traits quite rightly have unavoidable moral dimensions.
Another good point. Girls are beginning to be allowed to pursue more 'male' careers and lifestyles without discrimination - more and more girls are taking up 'masculine' sport such as football, for example - but rarely are boys allowed to pursue more 'female' lifestyles without heavy bullying from both other boys and girls. In my ideal world, no lifestyle would be regarded as more 'male' or 'female' as all this does is encourage discrimination and make people feel like they're not 'masculine' or 'feminine' enough, which in turn leads to a heavily depressed society. But that is how those in power want us to be, unfortunately - it makes us easier to control. It is a sign of a very sick society that a man can be heavily bullied to the point of committing suicide just because he admits he has emotions and shows vulnerability. We no longer depend on such traits for survival, so why do we still do this?
My female Aspie 'friend' of mine (with the 'other issues') has mainly male-type Aspie traits. She's a bully and openly proud of it, but very bad at it (at least with me), and her bullying is very much of the male type. One of the most unusual people I've ever known. She was trying to bully me yesterday, and although she uses the voice and words of a classic male bully, her expression always shows a trace of a smile - possibly due to having AS - as if she's acting out a role and trying to suppress her true feelings. I like her and care for her, despite her many seriously bad personality issues!
I do worry about your friendship with this woman, Mihaela. I just hope that she doesn't have some dark motive for all her strange behaviour, like trying to rob you or anything. Obviously you know her and I don't and it's your decision to remain friends with her, but... be careful, okay? You've mentioned women taking advantage of your caring nature in the past in other posts and I'm concerned it may happen again.
True, and I really hate this. The British stiff-upper-lip nonsense and the public school tradition have a lot to answer for, and so do traditional religious attitudes towards the sexes.
I think there are elements of Americanisation in this attitude, too - the sort of 'big, bold and loud' ideology that seems to make up so much of the USA. It reminds me of a teenage boy who wants everyone to think he's really cool but most people really think he's a bit of a berk.
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Thanks Mihaela
I didn't even know about Asperger United until now! It sounds like an interesting magazine.Please do come back to it and share some of your writing! I'd love to see some
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Definitely feeling the loneliness tonight but haven't had a drop of alcohol! There are apparently around 8500 members on this forum but only about 10 people ever seem to post. I know a lot of people with ASD suffer from really bad social anxiety so are probably too nervous to post but still... it feels a little strange having loads of people read my posts but not even comment on them. It gives me a feeling of being observed, almost. It just adds to the deep loneliness as well.
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Leak (teehee)
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Okay I know I've already made a couple of threads about finding love and dating sites but hear me out. I just want some honest feedback on my profile description on an aspie dating site I'm part of:
Creative, understanding, fun-loving type of
guy looking for friendship and possibly more.
I have a good sense of humour, am a good
listener and pretty laid back. Looking for a
woman with similar personality and interests.
A love of art is a big plus!Ladies, what would your initial impressions of me be based on this? I'm just getting tired of getting no responses to messages and wondering if it's my description or what. People tell me I'm fairly good looking so surely it can't be just looks alone... unless they're all lying to me to avoid hurting my feelings, of course. (I hate it when people do that.)
I probably now sound like a desperate mug but I'm just very tired of being single. Sometimes a guy just wants someone to hold, you know? My ex has said on many occasions that I have a lot to give but what's the point in having a lot to give if you have no one to give it to? Single life is just depressing for me.
So, can anyone help me? Please?
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Spider
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Not all NTs as individuals are bad. I've met many good ones so far and I'm sure I will meet many more, plus I do identify with some NT ways of thinking. This is one reason why I'm so confused about my diagnosis - it's like I'm half aspie, half NT. I'm a hybrid, a mutant. I haven't really heard of that happening before. But mainstream society, a neurotypical product, is very broken. However, quite a few NTs, especially in my generation, are questioning the inequality bestowed on them. This is why I believe there will be change soon - tensions are running high in young people and that will hopefully be passed on to the new generation.
Unless of course UKIP gets into power. Then we're all in big trouble and I will be saying goodbye to the United Kingdom.
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Joisting
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I only found out about yesterday's protest on the day. The mainstream media always seems to attempt to keep things like that hidden
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Tectonic
our children being bullied
in Education
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Liberalism is a good thing! I really don't understand how treating each other with respect and dignity can be considered a bad thing. It just fits in with the 'anything different must be destroyed' mentality that starts the majority of wars and led to the extinction of all human species apart from homo sapiens. (Unless autism is a branch-off from a former species of human - personally I think this could be likely.) To me, strong conservatism is so narrow-minded. The whole concept is based on refusing to acknowledge or accept that everyone is different and tries to make everyone conform to the same views. It's essentially watered-down fascism. Liberalism is the only way to stop autistic people being mistreated as they are, not conservatism that teaches children that violence is the answer.