Laddo

Tread on me Crush me Ignore me Hate me For I am nothing Worse than all Full of suffering Further I fall Down I go Sink into your hell I heard your 'no' As to hell I fell What am I to you? What wrong do I do? I am nothing We both know it's true

Deleted comment as was nothing more than a pointless rant

Hmm, it sounds like he could have Asperger's but it also seems likely he's got some kind of personality disorder, too. It sounds like he totally lacks empathy - I know aspies are often cited as having none but from what I've seen and heard from other aspies, this is a lie made up by NTs to make us sound like bad people. With the slobbiness, maybe he suffers from depression, too. My brother is the same in that when I shared a flat with him, he never cleaned. Like I would start cleaning the flat and he would just sit there on his laptop while I unclogged the shower of his hair etc. Or maybe the guy is just chronically lazy. I think he does need to follow up that assessment.

I fear that it's the worst kind of fame - I can't help but feel like I'm constantly being judged negatively by those who 'view from afar'. I'm finding motivation to pursue my interests is slipping day-by-day. The loneliness has broken me, as it were. Thanks society, thanks for making me feel like I can't even be myself. Good job.

That was exactly how I was trying to portray myself but maybe that's just not what the kind of guy most women want. Or maybe I'm just ugly. I wish no one had told me I'm good looking now - so-called 'white lies' like that just make things worse for people. What a horrible, depressing thought. I wish I could enjoy being single. But I feel incomplete without a partner. I feel like half of me is missing and it almost hurts. I get on much better with aspie women than men anyway and basically never seeing women socially makes things all the harder. I don't feel able to let out my (many) more 'feminine' traits around male friends without fear of being bullied for it.

Sorry, I misunderstood. My fault! I'm a great supporter father's rights and of Angry Harry's website and have made comments on there expressing my strong feelings over the raw deal suffered by men in the name of flawed 'feminist' ideology. (Not my idea of feminism at all). It is so refreshing to see someone take this balanced view of things. It seems that usually with the most vocal people on genders issues, we only get people taking things to extremes, with 'feminists' who have a skewed view of all women as intelligent, morally-good members of society who can do no wrong on one end of the scale and chauvinistic, trolling woman haters who view women as little more than cooking, cleaning sex machines at the other end of the scale. At the end of the day men and women are different, and that's a good thing. Men and women should be learning from each other, not constantly fighting. I feel sorry for the people who buy into the 'women are better' mentality as they fail to see the true enemy - it is not men as a whole, but capitalism. A huge number of women still feel uncomfortable with their bodies because advertising tells them that to be acceptable, they must spend huge amounts of money on expensive makeup, dieting supplements and worse, plastic surgery. All too often I have found myself trying and failing to comfort women who are naturally beautiful both inside and outside that they look fine without makeup etc. The female celebrities that promote all this should be ashamed with themselves, but the millions they gain from endorsing such products likely destroy their consciences. If they ever had one to begin with - there is something very narcissistic and psychopathic about the need to be in the media limelight all the time. Having said that, in the past I have found myself thinking I must be more muscular to be considered attractive and have had women trying to comfort me that I look fine as I am. It's no accident that male celebrities tend to be well-muscled, have strong (surgically altered) jawlines etc. Unfortunately, NT society itself tends to identify biophilic traits with femininity, and biophobic traits with masculinity. Society reflects our archetypal tendency towards dualistic black-and-white thinking and loves to generalise, but reality is never that simple. This way of thinking has been caused by the way society encourages sex roles when bringing up children. There happen to be two rather than one or three sexes - ideal material for our dualist ways of thinking. Society links those sex roles to particular traits which are labelled more or less, rightly or wrongly, masculine or feminine. Some of these traits quite rightly have unavoidable moral dimensions. Another good point. Girls are beginning to be allowed to pursue more 'male' careers and lifestyles without discrimination - more and more girls are taking up 'masculine' sport such as football, for example - but rarely are boys allowed to pursue more 'female' lifestyles without heavy bullying from both other boys and girls. In my ideal world, no lifestyle would be regarded as more 'male' or 'female' as all this does is encourage discrimination and make people feel like they're not 'masculine' or 'feminine' enough, which in turn leads to a heavily depressed society. But that is how those in power want us to be, unfortunately - it makes us easier to control. It is a sign of a very sick society that a man can be heavily bullied to the point of committing suicide just because he admits he has emotions and shows vulnerability. We no longer depend on such traits for survival, so why do we still do this? My female Aspie 'friend' of mine (with the 'other issues') has mainly male-type Aspie traits. She's a bully and openly proud of it, but very bad at it (at least with me), and her bullying is very much of the male type. One of the most unusual people I've ever known. She was trying to bully me yesterday, and although she uses the voice and words of a classic male bully, her expression always shows a trace of a smile - possibly due to having AS - as if she's acting out a role and trying to suppress her true feelings. I like her and care for her, despite her many seriously bad personality issues! I do worry about your friendship with this woman, Mihaela. I just hope that she doesn't have some dark motive for all her strange behaviour, like trying to rob you or anything. Obviously you know her and I don't and it's your decision to remain friends with her, but... be careful, okay? You've mentioned women taking advantage of your caring nature in the past in other posts and I'm concerned it may happen again. True, and I really hate this. The British stiff-upper-lip nonsense and the public school tradition have a lot to answer for, and so do traditional religious attitudes towards the sexes. I think there are elements of Americanisation in this attitude, too - the sort of 'big, bold and loud' ideology that seems to make up so much of the USA. It reminds me of a teenage boy who wants everyone to think he's really cool but most people really think he's a bit of a berk.

Thanks Mihaela I didn't even know about Asperger United until now! It sounds like an interesting magazine. Please do come back to it and share some of your writing! I'd love to see some

Definitely feeling the loneliness tonight but haven't had a drop of alcohol! There are apparently around 8500 members on this forum but only about 10 people ever seem to post. I know a lot of people with ASD suffer from really bad social anxiety so are probably too nervous to post but still... it feels a little strange having loads of people read my posts but not even comment on them. It gives me a feeling of being observed, almost. It just adds to the deep loneliness as well.

Leak (teehee)

Okay I know I've already made a couple of threads about finding love and dating sites but hear me out. I just want some honest feedback on my profile description on an aspie dating site I'm part of: Ladies, what would your initial impressions of me be based on this? I'm just getting tired of getting no responses to messages and wondering if it's my description or what. People tell me I'm fairly good looking so surely it can't be just looks alone... unless they're all lying to me to avoid hurting my feelings, of course. (I hate it when people do that.) I probably now sound like a desperate mug but I'm just very tired of being single. Sometimes a guy just wants someone to hold, you know? My ex has said on many occasions that I have a lot to give but what's the point in having a lot to give if you have no one to give it to? Single life is just depressing for me. So, can anyone help me? Please?

Spider

Not all NTs as individuals are bad. I've met many good ones so far and I'm sure I will meet many more, plus I do identify with some NT ways of thinking. This is one reason why I'm so confused about my diagnosis - it's like I'm half aspie, half NT. I'm a hybrid, a mutant. I haven't really heard of that happening before. But mainstream society, a neurotypical product, is very broken. However, quite a few NTs, especially in my generation, are questioning the inequality bestowed on them. This is why I believe there will be change soon - tensions are running high in young people and that will hopefully be passed on to the new generation. Unless of course UKIP gets into power. Then we're all in big trouble and I will be saying goodbye to the United Kingdom.

Joisting

I only found out about yesterday's protest on the day. The mainstream media always seems to attempt to keep things like that hidden

Tectonic

Grahams

Lord it over me because you're neurotypical Correct me when I'm right Be the superior, the pedant, the critical Throw yourself in the limelight You're better than me I am broken Don't let me be The NT has spoken

Calm the rudeness then, please

Oh thanks for clarifying that for me, I would never have guessed otherwise. Really appreciate the rudeness once again. Pretty ironic you saying that considering how often you've gone off topic just to say how much life sucks. Being an actor has nothing to do with being autistic.

I can confirm that grammar schools do still exist in the UK. I went to one for a start. There was a huge drug problem and a lot of students were not encouraged to follow their ambitions, rather being pushed into more academic subjects. It's ridiculous, really - I only went to a grammar school because a fair few of my friends went there and I would have been murdered at the local comprehensive as most of the tormenting, bullying berks at my primary school went there. Needless to say, going to a grammar school stifled my creativity over the years and I lost interest in art after my GCSE art teacher lost my coursework!

Academic qualifications other than maths and English GCSEs seem to be largely ignored by employers these days. They are pretty meaningless to me, too. Having a GCSE in English does make you good at English. Someone I know in my English class when I was doing my GCSEs somehow got an A in both English Literature and English Language despite him having one the worst writing styles I have ever seen and his spelling and grammar being atrocious. I still have no idea how he got As, but it certainly seems as if actual written communication ability has nothing to do with English GCSEs. I totally agree with Waterboatman that education begins once you leave school. I estimate about 5% of everything I learnt at school has actually been useful in real life. Schools also don't teach important life skills, such as managing money, gaining employment, understanding politics etc. There is far too much focus on academic subjects at school, too. In my opinion, kids should be able to choose to do more vocational subjects from a much younger age than they currently do and I definitely think there should be optional social skills lessons as well. After all, they are skills, hence the name 'social skills'. Most people take them for granted but obviously some of us need help with them. Driving lessons would be useful at school, too, considering how important a skill driving is these days. If you don't live in a city, you can't drive and you're looking for a job, you're pretty much up the creek without a paddle in many entry-level jobs.

An interesting thought: I wonder if physical attraction is aspie women is just different in general? I say this because (and not to blow my own trumpet here) I seem to be quite attractive to aspie women but not really to NT women. On another ASD forum I was a member of I got quite a lot of messages from female members after putting a photo up with a couple of them calling me hot and in person I've noticed girls who appear to have aspie traits seem a lot more interested in me than NT girls (who generally act as if I don't exist). Even a lesbian former friend of mine frequently called me sexy, hot and even beautiful. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it all but I just find this all a little too much of a coincidence that NT women act as if I'm invisible but aspie women find me attractive. Thoughts? By the way, I say this about just aspie women because from what I've seen, aspie men find NT women just as attractive as aspie women, as do NT men find aspie women attractive.

Not sure I agree with bullying being a male thing. Men are getting such a bad press these days and decent men are often ignored as they are blanketed as being inherently bad by the media. Notice how men are often suggested to 'get in touch with their feminine side' and romantic fiction often focuses on men having to 'change their ways' for a woman's sake. The whole thing smacks of the notion that women are 'better' than men when really we are just different. A very NT notion, I might add. It feels like apologist culture to me, where an entire group of people is made to feel guilty for the historical actions of people within their group. The same thing happens a lot with white people - for example, calling someone a 'cracker' on TV is generally seen as acceptable but the N word is not. Same goes for portrayal of men - recently the Disney film Frozen got bad press because of its unrealistic depiction of women for the main character being stereotypically pretty but the main male character was also an unrealistic depiction of men - muscular, handsome and generally a bit of a tool. However, this depiction of the man was totally ignored. To me, this is very dangerous towards either sex as one being portrayed as 'better' than the other always causes problems. The way women tend to bully people is usually different from how men tend to bully people. (Having been a regular victim of both types, I became to notice the differences.) Men tend to be quite blunt in their bullying, while female bullying seems to be done in a very 'female' way - unravelling the victim's self esteem slowly but surely, excluding their victims in the workplace and subtly making them feel like they don't belong as part of a social group. Male victims of female bullying are also almost entirely ignored because there is still the assumption (from both other men and women) that men should take it on the chin - there's a good reason why the phrase 'man up' exists.

I've just realised that this post could be seen as offensive to those who have embraced their diagnosis. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone - I really didn't mean to. Maybe I should class myself as Asperger's myself - I certainly can relate in some way or another to almost every aspie I've met, both online and in real life. I agree with The Exodus' view that Asperger's represents a higher, more evolved state of mind. After all, aspies are renowned for their honesty and loyalty and at the end of the day those traits can only be a good thing. So yeah, I take back what I said about rejecting the diagnosis and would like to embrace my fellow aspies as my spiritual brothers and sisters.

That's what is depressing me - people feel helpless and powerless to do anything about inequality and injustice. I believe that with enough people changes can be made, even if they're small, but so many people are made to feel like there is nothing they can do so nothing gets organised. I feel like there's no hope, no future, for both myself and a large portion of the population. My most recent post was a little harsh and I'm sorry for that. I just feel overwhelmed by depression and anxiety at the moment but that's no excuse. Life is so unfair for so much of the world