FlorenceD

I forgot my password so had issues signing in. The reset password thing didn't work as I never received the email and when I tried to email the moderators, it failed to send to them. (Moderators, not sure if you might want to check this out?) Anyways, back in April I received my 'official' diagnosis of HFA (apparently they don't diagnose Aspergers anymore) although I was told that Aspergers is where my level of deficits lie. I also have elements of ADHD especially inattentiveness. Receiving my diagnosis at the age of 28 has helped me to make alot of sense of my life so far, however with it has come the realisation that I'm always going to struggle which is really affecting my anxiety, depression and OCD. I had some CBT a while ago for my OCD but I really struggled with it as I have quite rigid thought patterns and to be told that the way I think is wrong and to think in another way was really hard to put into practice so the therapy helped a bit but not as much as I was hoping. Does anyone else here struggle with this? I'm also finding work hard atm as I'm realising just how socially inept I am ( a couple of incidents at work have just added to this), I just feel like every day is a struggle. Do others on here struggle too? What advice does anyone have? Also my GP has changed my antidepressants as my depression has gotten so bad, the thing I don't understand is why is there no NHS autism specific counselling/talking therapy considering that autism and mental health issues go hand in hand? My GP is constantly looking for something suitable for me but atm there is nothing so if things don't improve soon or get worse then I'm going to have to be referred to Adult Mental Health. Does anyone else have experience of this? Just wanting to share this with you all so that maybe those of us affected can help guide each other. Look forward to hearing from you all again. Thanks

I haven't been on here for a while so just catching up with everything. Well done for finally getting your much needed diagnosis. Sounds like its come as a relief. I finally received a letter from the local nhs partnership trust to say they have added me to their waiting list for assessment. That was about 2 months ago. I'm really getting anxious about having to wait as its really affecting me. I've been off work sick since the beginning of september as I had surgery on my leg for an ongoing problem. I'm due back at work next week and im really getting stressed out and worrying that I won't cope being back in the busy social environment. I am now having CBT once a week for my OCD which helps. My therapist is really good and we are approaching my treatment as though I have ASD so he has been really understanding. I just worry that its going to take a long time to get my appointment. What exactly happens at assessment?

I was wondering what books anybody has found useful and can relate to in regards to ASD? I have read a book by Tony Attwood which was good but I would like to gain more info on the condition and other related issues that go with it especially from a female point of view. Any suggestions would be great. Thanks

The GP I saw said that she recently referred another adult for assessment and that the funding and appointment all came through fairly quickly. I hope this is the case as the wait is making me anxious. I'm questioning everything right now. I keep thinking what if its not ASC? What else could it be? Why am I the way I am? Why don't I feel I fit in anywhere or have a sense of who I am? It's just all really stressful and I have to know the answers to all my questions. I discussed it with my manager at work as I didn't want to go for diagnosis if it would affect my job. My manager was amazing about it all and really understanding. She said I should definately go for diagnosis as it would answer alot of questions. It would explain my whole life. My manager asked if there was anything she can do at work to make things easier for me. We came up with a few solutions and she told me to keep a diary of any incidences or things at work that stress me out and then we're going to sit down and try and come up with solutions to reduce my stress and anxiety. I really want some answers. If I do have ASC it would explain my entire life and how I view myself but at the same time, I don't want to have autism, I'm scared that it's going to define me and I'm going to have that label for the rest of my life. Aaagghhh it's just all so overwhelming and confusing.

I've now finally been referred by a dr who actually believed me and was really understanding. She said they may have to apply for funding but that shes happy to apply for it and I should get it no problems. I have many questions about the whole assessment process. What are your experiences of it and what things are you asked or have to do etc? My heads in a bit of a spin right now with it all but I do feel a sense of relief. Thanks

Thanks for the links. I've been on Sertraline for nearly 3 weeks I think. I'm wondering whether the change in my mood is a side effect or not. A few days after initially taking it, my mood was amazing. I felt happier than I have for a long time and my mood wasn't up and down. Now I'm feeling rubbish again, though not as bad as the other day. I have an appointment at the wellbeing centre next week to start my sessions with a wellbeing practitioner. I also have an appointment with a doctor at the end of the month so hopefully will start sorting out all this mess and chaos in my head. I'm considering going private for an initial assessment/ possible diagnosis. Does anyone have experience of this or is better to wait for the NHS? Nobody seems to be taking me seriously and my mental health is suffering because of it. I have heard that if a private diagnosis is sought then you may not be able to access certain NHS services, is this true? Thanks

I've felt really stressed out the last few days. Its got so bad that I've started self harming again which I haven't done since december. I hate the feeling of being so out of control but being unable to express myself to others. I was sick saturday night and my dad had to pick me up from my sisters house. I'd told my mum on the phone already that I wasn't sure if I was sick due to my sertraline. Dad comes to pick me up and in the car casually asked what meds it was that made me sick. When I told him they are antidepressants, he told me that I need to stop taking them and get my act together. I told him that the dr insisted I had them and he said that the dr will only give them to you if you tell them theres something wrong. He doesn't get it. There is something wrong. He keeps asking me if my nephew will grow out of his aspergers or asks me if he will ever be 'normal'. Sometimes I want to scream "look at me, I'm the same as him. Thats why I get him" I'm struggling at work. Today a child had just woken up so I gave them a cuddle. They then began crying but wouldn't stop so I said (as everybody I work with does) if uou don't stop im going to put you down. I had other babies sleeping and this was a slightly older child who understands. I put him down and explained that he would wake the others up as he wouldn't stop and sent him back through to his room. I could then hear a colleague talking about me saying that I put him down near the door and hes really upset and that hes not long moved up rooms and that I just expect him to cope with it. That wasn't the case at all and then I found myself feeling like I had to justify myself to them. I explained and they all said they do the same with him. I didnt understand the problem then if what I did was the same as them? 10 mins later, I walked into the kitchen and 2 of my colleagues were in there clearly talking about me as when I walked in, they both went "oh" looked at each other and suddenly went silent. The thing that hurts most is that one of those colleagues, I confided in last week about how much I struggle and how low I get sometimes. She was really understanding and supportive and told me to talk more about my feelings so I don't do anything stupid. Sometimes I really feel like I'm rubbish at my job and today I'm questioning everything I do and am. I had a really bad day yesterday and felt so low. I was worried I might try something stupid I felt that bad. Then I finally managed to sleep and woke up this morning feeling a little more postive but not much. I thought I was doing a good job of hiding it at work but obviously not. I then felt angry at myself for not doing a good enough job at hiding it. I went for an assessment at the wellbeing centre and she didnt even acknowledge the fact I think I may have asd. The thing I find hard to explain is that all my depression, stress, anxiety, ocd and sensitivites come from asd. I worry that I'll never get referred to the right people who will be able to asess and diagnose me as nobody ever seems to take me seriously.

Well things are getting a little better for me at the moment. I don't really mention it at home except on occasion and I haven't spoken to my mum about it since our last conversation but I get the impression that she may be coming round to the idea that I may have ASD. Both my sisters seem to have accepted it so thats good I guess. My younger sister even seems to be showing some concern towards me which never happens.

I managed to work all week and actually enjoyed getting back into my usual routine. I definately feel as though the medication is helping. My anxiety is not as bad as it had been and I've managed to get a bit more control over my OCD. I have an appointment at the wellbeing centre tomorrow after work and I'm starting to feel really stressed out about it. I'm not very good at articulating my feelings and emotions and I'm going to be seeing a stranger whom I have not met before. I don't know what to expect or what they will ask me. I've only got an initial assessment tomorrow and last time I went I left my list with them to put with my notes so I'm hoping that helps to get the conversation about my difficulties going. Has anyone got any advice they could offer?

Yes, I'm doing much better thanks. The Sertraline has given me minimal side effects and has really helped to stabilise my mood. I had a long chat with a friend the other night and she helped me to realise that the way I think isn't neccessarily a bad thing, just different. I'm starting to accept myself a little more I guess. Although I'm reminded of my struggles all the time at work when I give facts or statements in conversations. Nobody else seems to know alot of the useless info I seem to take in, I always thought everybody knew pointless stuff, turns out I know more than most! I managed to drag my backside (just) back to work today. It was a struggle and I did feel pretty detached and out of my depth despite knowing my job inside out and back to front. I work with young children and I find myself more and more just observing them rather than interacting with them. I find it fascinating watching them learning so much about the world, themselves and each other. I find myself really having to make an effort to interact because I've just realised that it doesn't come naturally to me. I watch my colleagues at work and how they all interact with the children and each other and realise that I'm an observer. Anyways hope all of you guys are doing ok atm.

I was prescribed Sertraline just to help take the edge off everything. I'm obviously still on the waiting list for CBT so hopefully by the time I'm having therapy, the meds will have helped a little. I know theres no quick fix and I've got a long way to go. This time last year, I was probably the happiest I've been for a long time. I don't know why, just like I don't know why I feel so low now. I just don't want to feel like this anymore. Thanks as usual for all your advice and wisdom. Much appreciated. Have any of you been on sertraline? What side effects did you have and how long did they last? I've researched it and the side effects don't sound pleasant. My younger sister had to come off them as they caused her to feel sick all the time and fatigued.

Well I rang and spoke to a doctor just now. She was brilliant, very understanding and couldn't believe how long I've waited for CBT. She also believes I could be on the spectrum and also said it is a good idea to get the CBT pychologists input first before going forward for autism assessments. She has prescribed me some antidepressants which should help with my anxiety, low mood and OCD. She said they should take the edge off a bit which will help me function better day to day. I need to make an appointment to see her in a few weeks time to discuss how I'm doing. Hopefully it should lift my mood and I'll start feeling better soon.

Went to the wellbeing centre. It wasn't very private, for one you have to be buzzed in so you're standing in the high street for all to see whilst you wait fir them to open door. Secondly there's no private rooms just a few chairs with screens round them. I found this a bit difficult to explain myself so in the end I kind of just threw the list at her and siad its all in there. Shes booked me in for an initial assessment with somebody but its not until 3 weeks time. I need help now, I've waited 6 months for CBT and now have to wait 3 weeks for this. Not sure what type of therapy they will recommend to me either. Now feel like I have to keep explaining myself to my family to justify why I'm off work this week. Not sure whether to make an emergency appointment with a doctor for today or to just keep waiting for therapy???

Thanks guys. I've asked my younger sister ( the one I don't really get on with) to go with me to our local Wellbeing Centre, its run by Mind the mental health charity so I'm hoping they can give some advice as to where to begin with everything. My younger sister is currently on antidepressants and since she has been shes been more understanding and dare I say 'nice'. Its complicated my relationship with her but I don't want to burden my older sister anymore than I already have. Shes got a tough ride ahead of her in her personal life and I don't want to add to it. I will let you know later how I get on at the wellbeing centre. I've still not had any contact from CBT and I can't wait any longer else I might lose my mind.

I struggle with OCD too. My colleagues at work always joke with each other about OCD as others I work with are a but anal about things. It stresses me out when they laugh about it because for me it is a real struggle. The last few days have been especially hard for me to keep it under control. I have a fear of germs and contamination. I wash my hands several times a day even if they're not dirty (I think they are). I have to wash with soap then rinse again at least twice but often 3 times in one go. I don't touch doors or walls when I'm out, I don't use public toilets, I hate touching stuff in shops (clothes, food etc) I won't touch raw meat at all when shopping, I hate touching trolley handles, I don't like touching chip and pin machines or cash points. I use alcohol gel several times a day when out and about. The list is endless as to what I won't touch or where I won't go for fear of germs. I went to a theme park at the weekend with my sister, her 3 kids and her friend and 2 kids (who I'm comfortble with). I couldn't enjoy myself because after every ride, I was using alcohol gel, I felt dirty. I wouldn't touch the animals (I love animals) because they looked dirty. I wouldn't put stuff in the bin because the bins dirty. It goes on and on and on. I can't stop it. I shower twice a day, I change my clothes if I think they're remotely dirty and put them in to wash. Its ridiculous I know but I can't seem to stop it or reign it in. I'm glad others on here have OCD too and that its not just me.

I'm going through a really low period again. It's always been something that happens sporadically and usually only lasts a few weeks. I've felt low since september 2014, things got really bad in december and I was signed off work for 3 weeks. Since then I've been back to work full time I've had periods of feeling better but never 100%. Since the weekend, I've been really stressed out again. My OCD has been out of control and is worsening, I'm anxious all the time, I'm not sleeping well, I'm stressed to the max and I feel like I'm falling apart. I don't show emotions, I don't understand them, but it doesn't mean I don't feel them. I do, I just can't explain them or deal with them. I can't face going to work, I took yesterday off sick I told them I had a migraine which is true but it was because I'm so stressed out. My mum doesn't believe me with the whole aspie thing and my dad doesn't know yet. If I tell them I'm not going to work, they lecture me and tell me I'll lose my job etc. I like my job, I used to love my job but right now, it's just one more thing I can't deal with. How many of you have had trouble with this? Are these feelings normal for ASD or is it just depression, stress or whatever?

Thanks guys. It helps to make me feel a little better being able to make sense of things here. I'm still struggling alot with everything. I feel guilty as my sister said to me the other day that as mum isn't willing to accept there's anything wrong then she (my sister) feels responsible for me. We were talking about going on holiday abroad next year, I said I wasn't sure (fear of the unknown/lack of usual routine etc), she then said that she won't let me live my life like that and that shes going to help me get through life. I guess if I went for diagnosis at least I know I can count on her for support. I feel so awful though relying on her as she has got so much to deal with in her own life. I just hope that mum comes round eventually and realises that im not making this up and that my struggles are very real and that I need support. Sorry for ranting. Just need to get it all out there!

I first discussed the possibility of me having an ASD with my GP over 2 years ago. Now things are getting out of control for me and I'm struggling more and more. I went back to the doctors last week and now might be getting somewhere with regards to getting a diagnosis. So I was having a conversation with mum last night about my nephew who has Aspergers, this led nicely into me being able to tell mum whats been going on with me lately. I also discussed with her the possibility of me having ASD and that the doctors happy to go for diagnosis as it means I will get help and support which is much needed. Well my mums response was pretty hurtful tbh. She said that the child pyschologist we saw when I was 6 said that its 'middle child syndrome' and that they said theres nothing wrong with me. She then ignored what I was saying and changed the subject completely. I wasn't expecting a great reaction from her but I at least thought she might be interested. Just feels as though she doesn't care, I also now know for sure that she's never going to understand me because she doesn't want to. My sister said that for mum to admit to something would mean to admit she failed and she will never do that. It doesn't make me feel any better. It took me 2 years to say that out loud to her which was a huge deal for me and thats how she takes it. How did the people around you take it? Were they supportive or in denial?

A quick update. So I went and spoke to the doctor on Friday. I was so anxious by the time I got in to see her (she was 40 mins late and I had to get back to work) that I found it difficult to say all I needed to. Luckily I had my list to give her which she has scanned onto my notes. She said that for now the best thing to do is to wait for the CBT which she's going to chase up and get their pyschologists input first. If it is personality disorder then they would refer me to Mental Health but if it's ASD then she's happy to push for diagnosis but wants the CBT therapists input as she said it would be helpful with going forward for diagnosis and it's more likely that I will get assessed if we have their input first. Hopefully I will now hear from the CBT service soon and then start to finally move forward with everything. I spoke to my younger sister (the one I don't always get on with) and just kind of mentioned it all and she said she reckons I could have ASD. She said it would explain a lot! She also said that if I got a diagnosis, it would help our parents to understand why I do certain things and maybe they wouldn't nag me so much or get annoyed at me all the time. I hadn't even thought of that. She also said that it would be good to learn some strategies that would help and support me. Feeling a little better now that the doctor has acknowledged that yes I may well be on the spectrum and not just fobbed me off again. Thanks once again

Thanks for all the advice you have given. I'm still unsure of how to talk to the dr on friday about my difficulties. I found out today that my younger sister (the one mums obsessed with) saw her dr the other day and because she cried and her notes state suicidal thoughts and self harm from when she was a teenager (shes 24), she was given anti depressants, offered counselling and advice and given info for the wellbeing centre. I on the other hand have a history of suicidal thoughts, self harm, anxiety, stress, depression and OCD and told the dr I thought I could have ASD and got told to self refer to CBT ( still haven't heard from them) and told to go the local Wellbeing centre (which I can't as it's all during my working hours). Basically I feel as if I don't matter. I'm not one for crying (I struggle to express my emotions) but my sister cries over little things and because she cries to the dr, they take her seriously. My behaviours have been with me since childhood but the drs don't seem to care. Do you think I should talk to the dr friday or wait for CBT and discuss it with them? Who's more likely to take me seriously and listen? How did you go about starting the conversation with the dr when you suspected you had ASD? I'm just really getting anxious now about friday's appointment.

Thanks for your responses. I do think for me it will help massively to get a diagnosis (even if it isn't ASD) I have no sense of identity, I notice that I'm not like other people my own age and I'm struggling more and more to fit in with society trying to act 'normal'. I do think it's quite likely my mum is on the spectrum and her dad too (my grandad). Both are very set in their ways, neither have social lives as such and both say inappropriate things all the time. My mum also goes on and on about the same things, shes not very understanding if you've got things going on unless it's my younger sister who shes obsessed with. Every conversation goes back to her, shes at our house constantly and mum looks after her 4 year old daughter pretty much all the time. My younger sister is stressful to be around, she's very loud, verbally agressive, argues about everything and is never wrong. My older sister and I have a difficult relationship with my mum. Shes only ever interested in my younger sister and her life and problems and never us 3. I also have a brother who is nearly 40, still lives at home as do I, he can't manage his money, needs reminding to do his laundry, argues at the slightest thing, is severly dyslexic and hates too many people being around. He works nights at tesco stacking shelves and has done for 15 years. He refuses to change to days as he doesn't like change and wouldn't cope with the amount of people he would have to interact with. The problem is my mum treats him like hes an idiot most of the time. She really panders to him and babies him but also tells him off as though he's still a child. His problems are more apparent than mine but he doesn't seem to struggle as much as I do. I don't know if this is just because I try so hard to hide my behaviours whereas he doesn't. He's just who he is. Take him as he comes. My older sister has had serious issues at home. My dad tries his best to support her and does what he can, mum however was there to begin with but now has lost interest. She moans if she has to help out with her 3 kids and any help she does give will always be used against my sister eventually in one way or another. I feel alot of pressure on me right now to try and help my sister and have become the kids 2nd parent. My nephew and I have a good relationship because we understand each other he calls us 'the weirdos'! I stay at hers every other weekend which helps me as I can get away from home. I feel accepted at my sisters and fit in there ( the only place I do). She confides in me and I find it too much sometimes as I don't know how to deal with emotions. I have looked at the NAS website, I emailed them last year to get some advice and have emailed them again to ask about approaching the drs. I have downloaded their guide for GPs so will take this on friday to my appointment as well as my list. I have alot going on right mow with everything and I just really need some support and advice. My deputy manager at work has been brilliant and I'm able to confide in her (though I find getting whats in my head out very difficult). Shes been very supportive with everything and has allowed me time off to go to appointments with my sister. Shes also the only other person apart from my sister that I've discussed my possible ASD with. She really 'gets' me and says she finds me funny. She says she likes me how I am and if anyones got issues with that then its their problem not mine. I think if I did get a diagnosis it wouldn't be an issue at work. It may even help my collegues understand me better. It won't affect my ability to work, if anything it may improve it once I have some answers and support from those around me.

I'm a 27 year old female currently working full time in childcare. I find being at work for so long in a day (up to 10 hrs) very stressful. I posted in the greetings forum already introducing myself properly and explaining my 'issues'. I have made a drs appointment for this Friday and am really anxious as to whether or not to take my list with me and discuss my struggles again. I'm seeing a different dr this time in the hopes of getting a new perspective on things. The thing I'm most worried about is that maybe they will say there's nothing wrong with me or that its all in my head. I haven't discussed any of the things on my list with my parents. I have a difficult relationship with my mum (although I do still live at home) and I don't trust her enough to talk to. I was signed off work due to stress in december and as soon as I went back to work, my mum acted as if everything was fine again and that there's nothing wrong with me. She tells me sometimes to 'just get over it'. She's really not understanding at all and I don't think I could rely on her if I did go for diagnosis and they needed a parents point of view. I get on well with my dad but again he doesn't understand me at all. Hes always commenting on my behaviours especially my OCD ones and it makes me self conscious although obviously he doesn't realise this. My 8 year old nephew has Asperger's among other things and neither of my parents get him which means that they really don't get me either. I do have some support from my older sister as she has my nephew and recognises alot of his behaviours in me. She has alot going on at the moment in her own life so I don't like to offload on her too much as I know how tough shes got things right now. Should I discuss things with the dr friday or not? What made you go for diagnosis or not? What have you found to be the pros and cons of this? Thanks

Thank you so much for your replies. I really appreciate your different perspectives on things. I have a lot to consider and I know its not simple. For me, I think the main reason I would want to pursue diagnosis is because I've always felt different my whole life. I've never felt as though I fit in anywhere even within my own family. I have no sense of identity and it's something I'm struggling with more and more. For those of you that are interested here is the beginning part of the list that I made of my behaviours. Childhood behaviours aged 1-12 years mood swings very aggressive often with the slightest trigger low mood/ depressed attention seeking behaviours by being naughty didn’t sleep well, waking several times a night self- harm behaviours: banged head on walls, pinching, punching, slapping, biting, scratching until bleeding, kicking heels against the wall repeatedly until my heels bled from carpet burn often felt I wanted to die and used to say to Mum I was going to run in front of a bus/ traffic, jump out of windows ran away for a few hours at a time to nearby woods aged 7 attempted to stab older sister with a kitchen knife with the intentions of hurting her, Mum stopped me Mum describes me as a true Jekyll and Hyde, child psychologist said it was ‘middle child syndrome’ and attention seeking. No report that my parents are aware of Had a lot of energy and was a real ‘tom boy’, and was very loud and hectic at times Teenage behaviours aged 12-18 years Bullied at school, became very introverted, quiet, shy Mood swings Depressed most of the time Self- harmed by cutting, scratching Very angry Aggressive: kicked and punched holes in walls at home, trashed my room, beat up my sister when she was pregnant, I knew it was wrong but couldn’t control myself Had no friends at school except 2 Suicidal Made plans to run away Very anxious most of the time Verbally aggressive Found the social aspects of school very difficult to deal with, didn’t like being around a lot of people and found the noise and busy environment challenging and confusing Left school at 16 and became a recluse: I didn’t leave the house for around 4 months, didn’t go to college as I was convinced it would be hell like school was for me. Aged 17 began secretly abusing alcohol at home when everybody else was at school/ work Had compulsive feelings to just get out of the house, I would only do this if I had been drinking and I would walk out in front of traffic and wouldn’t care Had compulsions to go outside whenever it rained Thanks again for your responses.

I'm a 27 year old female. I have always had problems with behaviour since around 1 year old. I was very unpredictable with my moods, I hurt myself intentionally a lot, I was very aggressive, full of energy and didn't sleep much. All my teenaged and adult life, I have had periods of low mood which normally pass but this ones been going on since September last year. My 8 year old nephew (my older sisters son) has Asperger's, hypermobility and other sensory issues. My sister suggested to me one day that maybe I have AS too. I have thought a lot about this and it would explain a few things for me. Here is a list of my behaviours Adult behaviours aged 18-now Find working a real challenge as I struggle with the social aspects and having to be around so many people all day Prefer being alone Only have 2 friends who I went to school with. I struggle to make new friends and maintain friendships Become very anxious and stressed in social situations Struggle going to new places and hate being spontaneous, I like to know where I’m going beforehand, who with and when Can’t cope with busy, noisy environments and become increasingly stressed and anxious I like routine, disturbances to general routine causes me to feel anxious and stressed Struggled to fit in at work and find the work environment stressful most of the time especially if the routine changes suddenly Sometimes I feel quite ‘lost’ at work. I know what I’m meant to be doing but find it hard at times to keep up and get on with things and focus I’m very easily distracted and can find focussing on particular tasks a challenge. Once distracted I find it difficult to get back on track and re-focus myself which causes anxiety Lack confidence and self-esteem Work colleagues notice my ‘odd’ habits and comment on them though I’m not always sure if they’re being friendly or not Colleagues noticing my ‘odd’ habits makes me really self- conscious and I have to work really hard at being like everybody else Colleagues ‘joke’ about my anti-social behaviour as I never want to socialise with them outside of work or have friends whom I see regularly Struggle to tell if people are being sarcastic or serious People always tell me I have a very dry sense of humour. I don’t intend on being funny which is why I can get confused at times when people laugh at me Social cues are confusing to me. I feel very awkward in social situations and don’t know how to act/ react appropriately Struggle to express my own emotions and if something is bothering me, I just become very quiet I can’t handle other people’s emotions and don’t know how I should react OCD: compulsive hand-washing, fear of germs, have to feel clean and am obsessed with my clothes being clean. I feel highly anxious if I feel dirty I notice sounds all the time that others don’t seem to pay attention to but I just can’t ignore Find it difficult to focus and concentrate if somebody is talking to me in a noisy environment. I find it disorientating Certain smells really bother me and I obsess about ‘clean’ smells such as washing powders and softeners, shampoo’s, soaps, cleaning products Sensitive to labels in my clothing and usually have to cut them out. I’m funny about certain materials and their textures I notice patterns in things all the time and count things in my head constantly to the point of irritating myself and becoming angry at myself Don’t feel comfortable giving too much eye contact and I like my personal space, I feel uncomfortable if somebody sits or stands too close to me Find it difficult to retain certain information especially if it is given to me verbally People tell me I repeat myself a lot Struggle with low mood a lot of the time Very sensitive to sunlight and glare, I have to have transition lenses in my glasses as this helps unless it is very bright Feel exhausted a lot of the time and at times can need quite a lot of sleep (between 9/12 hours) Sorry it's so long! To cut a long story short, I saw my GP back in December about my depression, anxiety and OCD getting out of control as I was really struggling. I took this list with me (the full version has all my childhood and teenaged behaviours on it too) and mentioned ASD to her. She photocopied the list said it's too difficult to get an Adult Diagnosed and said it could just be a personality disorder. She referred me for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and that was that. Anyways, I'm still struggling and still haven't had an appointment for CBT yet. The more time goes on the more I'm struggling with everything. I've been back to the GP and they just keep saying I have to wait for the CBT appointment, it's been 5 months since I was first referred. I just don't know what to do anymore. Could I have ASD? How would I go about asking to be referred to somebody who knows a bit about ASD and mental health? What does the adult diagnosis involve and is it worth going private for it? I can always post the list in it's entirety if anybody is interested as I know it may help to have the bigger picture before advice can be offered. Well anyway, that's a bit about me. I'd be pleased to hear from any of you on here and look forward to getting to know you. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Flo