Ivan McIn

Hi, Trekster. Of course there are things which can be done to make life better, that's partly what I meant by learning to live with it. Ivan.

My parents totally ignored my disabilities. They really seemed to think that if I did well at school and passed exams everything would be alright. They didn't think beyond that, about what sort of career I might have taken up. They only cared about academic stuff and failed to see that the education I really needed was in social areas. Thinking about it afterwards I concluded that they behaved in this way because they were teachers and couldn't think beyond what they'd been brainwashed with in university. I passed a few O-levels, which have never been of the slightest use to me. I had no intentions of carrying out my parents' dreams of further education as that just smacked of more school and I'd had enough of that. My first job was a disaster. I couldn't get on with the other staff. The boss was very kind and tried really hard to understand me but couldn't. I drifted round various other jobs before I realised that I did best working by myself. Even then, I had problems with time management etc. Because I seemed to be "bright" I was completely let down both by my parents and by the educational system. It was life skills I needed, not algebra. Ivan

I wouldn't have thought that the army culture would be appropriate for many aspies, little scope for individuality, huge pressure to comform, crude humour etc. Probably even worse than mainstream school. However I'm sure that many aspies gave their lives for their country in various wars. Ivan

Asperger's can be utterly disabling, far more than some people think, and the only "cure" is to learn to live with it.

Hello. Thank you for letting me join your forum. I am 68 years old and I had never even heard of asperger's till I was 50. I had a terrible time at High School and always had trouble socialising. As I got older my socialising improved in familiar situations purely through experience but I could still get it horribly wrong in unfamiliar circumstances. Mostly by myself I succeeded in some ways and really struggled in others. I had at least two breakdowns caused by stress and socialising problems. I saw a psychiatric nurse, a hypnotherapist and an alcohol counsellor. None of them were much help. Eventually, when I was 50 I went to see another counsellor. He listened to all my woes and then lent me a book on Asperger Syndrome and told me to go and read it. It was a revelation. As I read it I kept saying "that's me". At last I knew what was wrong and that I wasn't the only one in the world. I've never had an official diagnosis and don't want one but so much of what I've read about Asperger's and observed in other sufferers applies to me. Now in old age I feel much more adapted to my condition although there is no 'cure' and you never grow out of it. I'm hoping that I may be of some help to others on this forum. Ivan

I'm a 68 year-old aspie who's been driving since I was 17. I think my driving was pretty terrible back then but the test was easy then and I seem to have improved over the years. I remember my driving instructor saying things like "keep in" and I just didn't understand what he meant. Recently I gave a young friend of mine some driving lessons with mixed success. I gave instructions in a way which made sense to me but, apparently not to him. For example, I said "Stay close to the middle of the roundabout" and he thought I meant to drive in the middle of the two lanes. To him, the middle of the roundabout was the middle of the road, to me it was the grass thing that the road goes around. We just see things different ways. So my advice to the driving instructor who started this thread is try to make sure that you use terminology that your student will understand.