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paulfoel

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About paulfoel

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    Norfolk Broads

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  1. thanks. Alas, it seems every single "disagreement" results in him going from 0 to 1000 in literally 2 seconds. There is no in between. In the past, hes assaulted me 3 or 4 times and has put his mother in hospital once (shoved her over and broke her arm). Yes non-glass cups would be one less thing to break and throw of course. BUT it'll be something else. In the past we;ve had office chairs thrown at the wall, walls punched, glass doors smashed, etc etc.
  2. Always a problem with this - determining whats bad teenage behaviour and whats aspergers.... He plays on his PC a lot. More than we'd like but its his safe zone and calms him down - mostly. In the past, hes got very annoyed and smashed cupboards, thrown chairs etc in his bedroom. We moved the PC downstairs so we could keep an eye on. Hes been good for about a year so we let him move back upstairs to his bedroom. HOWEVER, he told us a few weeks ago (before he moved) he'd broken a glass. Theres more to it. We found pieces of glass the other side of the room, all in his little sisters (whos 6) toy box. Also, there is a strange dent on the wall. There is more to this glass breakage and 99.9% certain hes thrown it. If hes lost his temper thats fine. But he's left glass everywhere. Also we asked him about it and he immediately started getting VERY VERY aggressive. Thats his way. He feigns indignation that "no-one ever believes me" and then tries to front it out - but if I had a pound for every time we'd had this and hes later been found out I'd be a zillionaire. Of course, hes made it 10 times worse now by not only continuing to lie about it but get aggressive (this is a big NO in our house - we've had VERY bad experiences with him getting violent in the past) Thing is what do we do? Speak to him again and it WILL escalate. Let it go and it WILL happen again. He'll know he can "front it out" by denying all knowledge because he knows if he kicks off we'll back down.
  3. Of course it was DLA not PIP because he was under 16... Wow its been a long road. Two years after initial claim the triubunal has OKed it. The tribunal agreed to pay DLA for three years from December 2017 to December 2020. Trouble is son turned 16 in October 2019 just gone. Wasn't aware that you could get past your 16th birthday and that it changed to PIP? Well anyway, DWP have paid the backdated money (YAY!!!!) to October 2019 but thats it. No mention of anything past his birthday. What do I need to do? Will they pay DLA until December 2020? I was hoping they would until we sorted out PIP claim....
  4. Son is 15 now. Hes had "issues" for around two years but only got formally diagnosed last october (I guess we all know what CAMHS are like). CAMHS at the time sent the letter to school also. We've had various conversations over the years with the school with various head of years etc. For instance, he has a bit of a toilet thing so they let him use disabled toilets. They did also sort out counselling with a person that came to the school. Fast forward to last week. School parents evening. NONE of his teachers knew he had been diagnosed. Had a chat with the Special Needs teacher. Sat next to her was a lady who I remembered. So I mentioned son to her - never heard of him, not aware. Her assistant had and had arranged the counselling sessions (but obviously had not told her colleague). I asked why they hadn't informed his teachers - not seen the letter. Turns out the letter arrived at the school last October and has only now been seen by the Special Needs lady. Nice one. Even then only because I mentioned it at parents evening. She phoned today and was really rude. Not her fault apparently and, anyway, we should be grateful that a meeting has now been sorted in MAY between CAMHS and the school. This should all have happened 18 months ago! Surely a Special Needs teachers job is to read letters from CAMHS about the pupils? Otherwise I can't see the point. They have been useless. Whats the best way to complain? To the governors? MP? Council?
  5. Posted about him many times I'm sure....15 now, big lad. Got a diagnosis of Aspergers.Not sure if its related to Aspergers or just general bad teenager behaviour. Like most he doesn't listen, makes a mess, is moody and stroppy. Normal I guess. One thing is he generally believes hes so hard done by and thinks we pick on him. In all honestly, he gets away with murder.We try not to get into arguments with him. We warn him then we remove PC priveleges. But he wont take and gets VERY aggressive. He just cannot control himself. In the past, hes been violent towards me.Today, after some typical lazy behaviour that he'd been warned for, he got a 1 day ban. Then he got in my wifes face in a very threatening way. Thing is he would have been back on there by tommorow but hes made it 1000x times worse now.Hes a big lad. What do I do here? Yes understand teenagers can be a nightmare but surely being aggressive towards your mother is just a bit too far.Ultimately, I can see me calling the Police one day and getting him arrested. How to deal?
  6. Got turned down for PIP for son then got turned down again at mandatory reconsideration phase so decided to appeal to tribunal. Got turned down - now waiting for date. Both the initial form and rejection seemed to focus a lot on the physical aspects more than anything which is why it got turned down. What am I doing wrong? BTW son has now finally got a formal diagnosis. Will this help? Or is it too late for that now?
  7. 3rd time in about 6 months now. This time he really went for it. First two times hes thrown things at me - albeit 2nd time a large battery. This time he decided to dig me in the stomach because he didnt agree with me telling him off for something. We went outside and I did grab him and tell him to cut it out (probably not best idea thinking about). But then he started swinging, hit me a few times cut my lip etc. One thing I didnt hit him back although I felt like it. Really don't know what to do. I could have phoned the police I guess and got him taken to the cells (this is what CAMHS are telling us to do). Dont know what to do. For now, we;ve removed his PC, his mobile, his bedroom door. Hes all sorry but this is not the first time. With a wife whos smaller than him and a 4 year old sister (hes lost his temper with her in the past) I just dont know what to do.
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