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Posts posted by bid

  1. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    Married for 18 years and with DH for nearly 20 here :hypno:

     

    My dad was identified as having HFA/AS at the end of his life when he had various mental health assessments due to failing health...and my parents were married for over 50 years :thumbs:

     

    And I think it's great to hear positive stories...I get so fed up reading about how rubbish those of us with AS are at relationships and how we make our OH's lives a misery, etc, etc, etc!! :P

     

    Bid :)

  2. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    Hi FD,

     

    Just to go back to your point about stating you thought you had AS on a form, and then feeling this was disregarded...

     

    Rightly or wrongly, I'm afraid that this will most likely happen until you can either say you have been referred for assessment or that you have a formal dx. Even then, I have had the experience in A&E of being quizzed about who diagnosed me (I have an NHS dx).

     

    I can't remember whether you have started the assessment process, but it really is the only way to be taken more seriously I'm afraid. To be honest, I think at college you would have a more positive response if you briefly outlined your specific difficulties rather than saying you think you have AS.

     

    Bid :)

  5. Posted · Report reply

    I agree with Kazzen. Having been in a similar situation to you, we really did 'just know' when we visited the school that was right for my son. You need to go narrow down the field based on all the things that Sally has suggested, then visit your short list and see how you feel about each one.

     

    Good luck! I can remember I felt overwhelmed with the responsibilty of having to make such a choice.

     

    Bid :)

  7. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Misha,

     

    You say your friend is a doctor.

     

    A quick observation would be that if she is working somewhere like a research facility for example, then certain adjustments would be entirely reasonable and practicable (for example, written instructions rather than verbal).

     

    However, if she is working somewhere like A&E, and for example struggles with the fact that everything is chaotic, with no set routine and life and death decisions need to be made very quickly, then I don't think it is a reasonable adjustment to challenge the fundamental nature of the job because of her AS.

     

    I would agree with the others that this is an area that needs specialist legal advice.

     

    Bid :)

  8. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    Hi Tally,

     

    I honestly think it's best to be straightforward and business-like. Just say they MOT'd and serviced your car last week, but now these faults have appeared, plus the key is broken, and you would like things to be sorted out.

     

    TBH, no bloke would ever say they were disappointed. You don't have to be rude or aggressive. But please don't forget you have paid them to do something, and they have messed up...they should be apologising to you!

     

    My advice would be to be business-like, and not use any words like 'disappointed', because that may come across as a bit emotional.

     

    Good luck!

     

    Bid :)

  9. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    We have had 9 or so Meets over the years, a couple 'oop north' I think and the rest in or near London.

     

    Three were large affairs, to which families came, the others tended to be smaller groups of individuals.

     

    It was all very normal: people chatting, having a picnic/pizza lunch, mooching round shops and market stalls, getting to put faces to names.

     

    Bid :D

  10. Posted · Report reply

    Check out her uni's student union webpages (or contact them). They often have some work avaliable which they advertise at the start of the year.

     

    When I was an u/grad I occasioanlly worked on the door of our campus bar when they had special events they charged for, collecting money - sounds horrendous but was actually great. Firstly we were a tiny campus so actually it wasn't a huge thing at all, secondly I got a yummy bouncer either side of me :wub: :wub: (my job was to collect payments - they wanted someone who could do quick mental maths), thirdly it was a perfect excuse not to attend these events as I had to be outside taking the money! :lol:

     

    Oooh, I did that too Mumble...actually one of the yummy student-boucers was my boyfriend at the time :wub::devil: I liked stamping the backs of hands, plus listening to the gig for free!! I also worked in the refectory kitchen, because you got a free evening meal, but that wasn't as much fun... :sick:

     

    Kathryn, I can still remember how excited I was buying the bits and bobs for going off to uni...I still use the tray my mum bought for me :D

     

    Enjoy! >:D<<'>

     

    Bid :)

  12. Posted · Report reply

    Too right, they're dangerous little ######. Sneak up on you when you're least expecting it - and if you get jabbed it comes a close second to the paper cut as the worst possible injury sustainable. :crying: I would expect at least 3 pages of risk assessment on your safety pins - for each size. :devil:

     

    Actually, shouldn't you be using tape or those special bandage clips anyway? :unsure:

     

    Ahh now, that is what we all said during the 'what goes in the first aid box' interactive white board quiz! :rolleyes: But no, legally you have to have 6 safety pins of different sizes in your first aid box, with the proviso that you risk assess for suitability for your chosen service user! :P:lol:

     

    Bid :wacko:

  13. Posted · Report reply

    Just to muddy the waters further... :devil:

     

    Together with my DD's primary school we all agreed a medic alert necklace wasn't a good idea, because of the obvious risks attached to a metal chain, etc. But there was never any suggestion that the nylon strap/velcro sports bracelet version would pose any risk.

     

    Mind you, yesterday at my Emergency First Aid at Work Refresher I learnt that I need to risk assess the safety pins in the Night Room first aid box :blink:

     

    Bid :)

  16. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

     

    My experience with schools is they are always right and can do no wrong!

    They hate for us mere parents to point out their mistakes and can be very petty about this.

     

     

     

    I don't think that's very fair SSS!

     

    Teachers are humans, who can sometimes make mistakes, but the vast majority actually go into teaching because they like kids and are enthusiastic about their subject.

     

    Bid :)

  17. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    We had a bad experience with my eldest son's mainstream secondary school, but we haven't let it colour our opinion of all schools or all teachers.

     

    Logically, you could say that teachers are no more likely to lie than parents or children.

     

    The vast majority of teachers go into teaching because they like kids and are enthusiastic about their subject.

     

    Bid :)

  18. Posted · Report reply

    I think it it were for a life threatening condition then the school would possibly treat it differently than ASD? A medic alert bracelet can mean the difference between life and death for certain conditions - not so with ASD.

     

    I'm with Baddad in that I don't see an issue with signing the release forms to say you've requested that he be allowed to wear one.

     

    My daughters school doesn't allow jewellery in the infant school. They can wear a plain watch when they get to the juniors but that's it, but they would allow medical bracelets for conditions like diabetes/epilepsy etc.

     

    Lynne

     

    Hmmm, good point...hadn't thought about it like that.

     

    Bid :)

  19. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Nathan,

     

    Sorry, but I'm completely confused! I don't understand if you had an NHS referral, why you were then asked to pay??

     

    And in all honesty, I would feel very uncomfortable about any kind of 'diagnosis', NHS or private, that was based on one appointment alone; it should be an assessment process. Were your parent/s involved in this assessment at all, as it is important that a clear picture of your childhood development is part of the whole process.

     

    Bid :)

  20. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    The question of ASD completly aside, I'm a bit surprised at the school's attitude towards the principle of a medic-alert bracelet.

     

    One of my daughters has a life-threatening medical condition, and she wore a medic-alert sports bracelet at primary school, and the school were perfectly happy about this. It may be down to the individual primary school, because hers was happy to carry her E-kit with her as she moved around the school, whereas I have heard of schools who insist on keeping them locked in the office.

     

    Bid :)

  23. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    Hmmm, responding to Tally and Kathryn...

     

    It's a difficult one. I have read about a few cases where teenagers have been so badly cyber-bullied that they have killed themselves. I guess you could look at it and say that if the police can be involved in physical bullying in the real world, and people charged accordingly, then the same should be try of cyber-space?

     

    With regard to the AS angle. I'm sorry, but while I think that people with autism can be 'rude' or 'hurtful' by blurting out a thoughtless comment, I do not accept that calculated, offensive comments are the same thing at all. So I agree with those who have said that in while a dx needs to be common knowledge to explain lack of eye contact, etc, it shouldn't be used as a defense.

     

    Bid :)

  25. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    To be honest, I think it would be wrong to claim DLA in this instance.

     

    DLA is meant to provide extra help for extra needs. My son who is autistic got DLA from the age of 6, but when he was 18 we both decided that he had made so much progress he no longer fulfilled the criteria and didn't renew his claim. My younger daughter was left with a disabled hand after being knocked down by a car. She gets the lowest rate of the care element, because for the past two years she has only had the use of one hand (it has basically paid for the petrol/train fares to her endless hospital and OT appointments and some specialised OT equipment). However, she had major surgery a few months ago, and has got almost all the use back in her hand. When her hand is fully recovered and she no longer needs OT, etc, I shall cancel her claim.

     

    Bid :)

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