Mumble

Yes, because all people on the spectrum are rude, contentious, cantankerous individuals. We can't help it. I'm looking forward to being an awesome aunt. And handing the kiddies back once I've filled them full of sugar and wound them up nicely. :lol:

I just love the fact he's doing a history degree but did not realise "the Whitehall monument commemorated Britain's war dead". D'oh.

I'm listening to the idiot across the road who's just bought a drum kit and thinks he can play...

I think a good way of understanding this is to use something someone used to describe how a doctor recently gave me an incorrect diagnosis (not ASD, something medical, but the same process fits here). This doctor tried to make the evidence fit the diagnosis, rather than the diagnosis fit the evidence. It might seem like semantics, but it has profound implications. She took the bits of my symptoms and extenuated those that fitted the dx she had in mind, whilst ignoring all the bits of my symptoms that didn't fit. Hey presto she had the evidence needed for my dx. What she should have done was found a dx/diagnoses that fitted all of the presenting symptoms. I believe that the above may be attributable to some of the rise in dx - especially home dx and private dx - where people fit what they see to what they believe they have. I wouldn't say that this is (necessarily) a conscious process even and people may not be aware of how they are focusing on only some aspects and ignoring things that don't fit. That's why I think it's so important to go through a full dx procedure that does look at what else might be going on and is able to pull out all the symptoms, not just those the individual is focusing on.

But how can you know what you are/can be unless you challenge who you currently are?

Please don't be sad or feel you have high expectations. What the heck is wrong with high expectations? We'll never get anywhere if we just accept what is as what is and never strive to improve. I know I have made massive changes and improvements in the 4 years since my dx. It hasn't always been easy, there's still a heck of a lot to learn/change/find ways round, but I have made some really significant changes in my thinking and behaviours, I think, generally for the positive. I'm doing things now I never thought I would be able to do. I'm doing things I wrote off within myself when first given the dx. But looking at it as a way of identifying need rather than an end in ityself has enabled me to progress and develop. I don't care if that sounds all evengelical or others are reading and thinking 'well sucks to you Mumble it ain't that easy for everyone' I've been in the 'not easy' phase and I've come out the other side. I have and will continue to have high expectations for myself and for those around me. It might seem overly simplistic, but if you accept a position of failure, that's what you'll be. There's an awful lot of people who have things far harder in this world. We all owe it to ourselves to make the most we can of who we are. Sermon on the Mount over. It's a cow's point of view. Joey says so. :lol:

What on earth would make you think it's serious??? There's clearly nothing serious within this thread at all. I don't do serious, it's far too boring. :lol: Please don't stop a little light-hearted banter by (purposely?) taking offence and wildly mis-interpreting the stance of the thread. Been there, done that, you know how it'll end.

Most terribly sorry for any offence and upset caused. Please accept my most humbelestest apologies. It would be perfectly acceptable for you to take out this distress on those nearest to you now - in your home where you feel safe of course - and I shall include that in my diagnostic report. However, I do have to make you aware that having brought up your mangle experience I am required to conduct further investigations which will incur an additional charge. Reverse mangle treatment can also be a painful experience for some but it is the only proven cure in undoing the damage done.

If I'm involved, assume the default position of 'joke'. :lol: It's the way I tend to cope with life. Some people don't agree with that approach; I don't really care if it works for me. I'm looking forward to seeing Ms Frost deal with the stroppy Daddy - hopefully she'll use the same no-nonsense approach she used with Custard Creame Boy. There's a programme on tonight (BBC1, 10:35pm I think) about disruption in primary classrooms and asking where the blame lies - will be really interested to see where they go with this one and the stance they take.

Special Talent, I think you have completely missed the point of this thread. It is a joke, nothing more, nothing less, hence being in off-topic. It is based on Baddad's responses within a more serious thread: http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/Index.php?/topic/26953-emotional-retard/ If you want to discuss multiple personalities perhaps you should start a discussion elsewhere where more people are likely to see it and take it seriously? Otherwise you'll risk feeling that your concerns are being trivialised when that's just the 'jokey' nature of a thread such as this. Now, anyone else think that BD would benefit from a hot cycle in the washing machine - clean his mouth out with a little soap and shrink him down to size.

There's a reason this is posted in Well elsewhere BD did discuss the wires that are controlling his mouth,so perhaps he's a puppet?

Award the boy with a chocolate brownie for Breakfast. Unless he's part of your figment and is also not real...

Oh look, it was the parents that needed the discipline. Now there is a surprise. Next week's looks fun - more parent tantrum training.

But WHO comes with the premise that you already exist. I'm not sure that has yet been established, hence the option (a rather popular option I might add) of you being a figment of your (an?) imagination. If you're not real, then we need to ask WHAT you are, not WHO you are. I know, I know, NLASA.

Most people on this forum are parents of children on the spectrum (some of those parents are on the spectrum themselves). Until recently there were fairly few adults on the spectrum. There are also a splattering of others: partners, grand/step-parents, professionals, researchers, teachers, etc. There was a thread with poll somewhere asking who people were. As long as people are genuinely interested and not selling snake-oils, I don't mind what their backgrounds are.

Now what was this thread about? Ah yes. Still on-topic.

Ah ha, so he identifies with those able to hoist their skirts, hence suggesting the wearing of a skirt himself... Extra evidence for my 'professional' dx I'm preparing.

I'm sure you won't have anything to say on that, BD...

I'm looking forward to tonight's show. I always thought there was one giant custard creame factory that wrapped up their biccies for all the different shops, but they actually all taste different (been doing some important research ) and I'm yet to find one I could live on, so hoping the boy's mother will be able to impart some shopping tips.

Nowt wrong with that! The docs already think I must be drinking when I shouldn't just cause I'm a student, so I could start to live up to my unfair reputation. Some extra chocolate would have been nice, then I would have bought two properties (greedy, I know) - a cute little (but with all mod cons!) cottage on a Scottish island and a really nice penthouse type apartment somewhere nice in London, preferably with a swimming pool. Who said those on the spectrum only think about themselves!! :lol: Actually, I'm glad the big jackpot's been won, cause it sucked me in to playing, and now I can go back to 'winning' £4 a week by not playing.

Well he(?) asked for it Once fully dx'ed through this highly scientific poll, I shall print out your label/certificate for the competitive sum of £850 plus a month's supply of Dairy Milk I have lots of letters after my name and I'm nearly almost a doc, so this is totally legit and legally binding. For a further small sum I can help you use it to access benefits and services.

That suggests that there exists only a dichotomy of experience. I really don't like the idea that as someone on the spectrum I'm thought of as an 'insider'. I don't believe it gives my any special insight into the lives and experiences of others on the spectrum, any more than I'm assuming being NT gives individuals access to the lives and experiences of other NTs. In fact, I find it very difficult to identify with the experiences/perceptions/beliefs of many on the spectrum and don't feel that that's where I fit or representative of my identity. I believe we can only ever be an full insider to ourselves (and even then we're likely to make incorrect judgements about what's going on in our heads - that's human nature) and that in trying to understand anyone else we will always be an outsider, whatever attributes - gender, spectrumness, age, etc - that we share. But that doesn't mean we can't know and experience anything that others do as we can make a judgement between interpretations and work out rationally which is more likely to be the case and we can to various degrees use sympathy/empathy in combination with own own life experiences to try and understand what someone else is experiencing/feeling. I feel it is far too simplistic though to say that those who fit a particular category 'get it' and those who don't, don't.

:lol: Sorry, couldn't help laughing at that. Prospects refuse to help me until I am unemployed. They won't help me as I finsih my course and begin to look for work to aim for a seamless transition between uni and work which would reduce stress and associated issues greatly. I have to fail to find work and struggle with being unemployed before they step in. Very disappointed because surely anyone that works with people with Autism would realise that a proactive rather than reactive response is needed.

Why not? If he's living in your house, then he should still be following your rules. So draw up a timetable with him including chores, job seeking, going for a walk/gym/exercise/etc, and that can be his routine. It gives him what he needs, gives him a reason to get out and be out of his room, and provides a way forwards. By saying there aren't many jobs, you're giving him the perfect excuse not to try and find work.

Forgive me if I've misunderstood, but those two sentences do appear quite contradictory. The first suggests all the change has to come from her with no room for manoeuver on your part, but the second suggests that you're not saying you can't change? One of the most positive things to come out of my dx (and this certainly hasn't been an overnight thing - it's taken years of work and is still ongoing) is an understanding of myself, where I struggle, how I come across in different circumstances, how others may be interpreting my behaviours, etc. Some of it hasn't been nice to find out. What it has done is enable me to see where I have to change if I want others to react positively towards me. I do believe I have changed, for the better, in the last few years (but still lots to do!!) and having the understanding that comes with the dx has enabled that. Of course there have been times over the past 4+ years where I've said "I can't, I'm Autistic" or words to the same effect, but I've also come to understand that if I take that perspective then hey presto, that's generally the outcome - no change. I've also had other people who have since my dx said "you can't, you're Autistic"; sometimes I've fought against that but, especially soon after dx, there were times I'd just agree and sink really low. I would say that in your situation, work needs to be done by both of you, equally, with no excuses on either side. Yes, deal with the 'retard' comment, but I think it goes deeper than that. You're still the same person you were prior to dx, but having a label invariably changes how we and others react - that's quite normal and part of the post-dx adjustment. What is really upsetting your partner about your behaviour, get examples, then work on what you can do to change that, or shift things back to how they were pre-dx.