sams mum

Kaz, I'm really glad you're son has a group to go to, here's to a great time for him. :) Lisa, I'm sorry I don't have time to answer your post, me and mine have just survived cylone gonu and things are rather hectic here. A kind friend has given me 10 mins of his computer to send mails to those I need to re-assure as i'm still without water or electricity, but me being me had to have a wee peek at my autism groups. I really just can't help myself

I just wanted to add something else, anytime I've approached someone with a view to them having any kind of contact with my son I've always mentioned the autism first and not as an incidental, I usually say something along the lines of.........hi there, I've been told you teach horse riding and I was wondering if you'd like to try and make a difference in the life of an autistic child. It never fails to work and even if the person can't help I'm usually told why very nicely.

kaz, I'm glad you're feeling better even though you're still unhappy with the situation and I know only too well just how much it hurts when we think our children are being treated badly. It can be very difficult to think with our head instead of our heart, especially when we feel as if our heart will break. I still think you should talk to the lady again, she may have been rude and unhelpful first time round but like us she is probably just human and could have been having a bad day. I'm sure there have been times over the last 16 years when people have described me as a right witch simply because the day they met me I was being one. I know you're now going to look around for another pack but if he was offered a place at the original one you would probably be able to do a lot of good as a volunteer....even if its just teaching the leader etiquette

Lisa I think kaz mentioned there is a child with AS in the pack so I still fail to see how discrimination is taking place here. and its great your son was integratrated into the his pack so well but can you recall how many other children with ASD were in the pack or was he the only one, because I think more than one child would make a huge difference to how things can be managed. As would there abilities in general. you said, ASD is a wide spectrum and there are many ASD 'special needs' kids in school who don't get any help at all, jeez, there's me with a 16 year old profoundly autistic son and I swear I didn't know this kind of thing happened. the majority of scout leaders welcome kids of all shape, size, colour and creed, disabled or not. I couldn't agree more but as the brown owl of a non-uk based multinational/mulitfaith/mulitsized/multishaped pack I can't recall every having to provide the help to these children that a special needs child requires, especially one with the difficulties our children can have. I think its great your son did so well at beavers etc but lets not forget that just because it worked so well for your son without very much intervention doesn't mean it will work for others the same way.

Kaz, you said, but i am not talking about an animal his behaviour is not too bad. I'm sorry but I really fail to see how the above came about, but your sons difficulties probably mean he does need extra attention and as parents we can't have it both ways. We can't fight for the extra attention our children need at school and beyond then say they don't need it when it suits us. You mentioned one other ASd child being in the pack and I think we have to look at the bigger picture here , could it be possible that this child has rather complex needs and there is just no way the pack leader really can take on another asd child given the first childs needs. Could it possibly be that the lady and her probably very few helpers really are already working flat out at running the pack as it is. I think the most this lady is guilty of is not taking time to explain to you why she couldn't take your son, I suspect if you called her and asked her to elaborate on why she said no, you may at least understand why she did even if you don't agree with her saying it. I forgot to add that my 18 year old daughter is a young leader at Rainbows, they have two Aspie children in the pack, one diagnosed and one who isn't, she tries her best with them drawing on the experience she's gained with her brother but is the first to admit that even with the best of intentions from everyone involived, the children just do not get out of rainbows what the should be getting. Also, the pack leader is the lady who works with my son, for 6 hours a week, on a one-to-one basis and has done for 4 years. hth

there's a family in scotland with 5 or 6 children and I suspect mum to be on the spectrum as well. and i personally know of another american family with 5 children on the spectrum.

Never a truer word spoken. It never ceases to amaze me that its the parents who expect most from brownies who are usually the first in the door at the start of a session and last out the door at the end of one. I disgress, sorry

I'm a brown owl and couldn't cope with more than one special needs child in my pack, its not because I don't want to be able to cope, I simply don't have enough help to go round. I can understand a parent being upset when told a child can't join a pack but I fail to see how being practical can be classed as discrimination. I think this is one occasion where we have to think with our heads and not our heart. So as a brown owl and the mother of a child with profound autism can I suggest a couple of things that may make it possible for your son to be absorbed into the pack. perhaps get a relative to go along to the pack as an additional helper, maybe you could even do it yourself if time allows, as the mother of a special needs child you would be a great asset in an organisation where volunteer help of any kind is really hard to get. try for direct payments and employ someone to accompany your son, ask if there is a scout or cub in the local pack who would be willing to be at beavers with your son, he might be working for an ward and this could help with it. I honestly believe there's a way round this disapointment

anyone considering using melatonin, a naturally occuring substance within the body therefore its not accurate to liken it to drugging the children, may want to use a normal tablet as well as a time release tablet. The normal tablet gets the child to sleep, the time-release one keeps them asleeep. And as the children can get used to the dose they are given its far better to stop using it for a while rather than increase the dose, even a few days off would help with this. much research has now been done into "autism and melatonin" and a quick google search will find you some very good info relevent to those on the spectrum. here's one for starters http://www.autism.org/melatonin.html hth

what is it about the germans and disneyland paris? we've been once and it was great apart from a german bloke who started to pretend cry at the top of his voice when my son was having a meltdown whilst waiting to go on a ride. we had the exit pass but were forgotten about for one round, that was ok and a genuine mistake, but my son was distraught and got really upset. Over the top of the racket I could hear someone taking the mickey by imitating my son, he was even yelling boo, boo...when we eventually got on the ride. I was seething and didn't know whether to go for his throat or burst into tears when all of a sudden I saw him topple backwards off the wall he was sitting on....he went down like humpty dumpty, to this day i don't know whetehr he was pushed by one of the others in line or wether he toppled over all by himself. Mind you I don't really care becaue 5 years after the event it still ranks as one of the funniests moments I've had since my son was born 16 years ago. I can still see the look of shock on his face as he toppled over backwards We're going back again in august, hopefully we won't have any bother but if we do I'll let everyone around know what is going on and shame the person into shutting up. I might even see if there is a wall to shove someone off.

David, another lover of kenya here My husband grew up in Mombassa and used to cycle to football matches in Milindi on one of those bikes you mentioned. It must have been some journey As for matatu's.........I only lasted about 2 stops in one a few years back and jumped out of a window rather than go any further in it.

My son was a slilent child, no babbling, no crying for the boobie, no chuckling, no nothing except for the dreadful screams when having a meltdown. In his baby days he was often described as the perfect child..............but his perfectness scared the bejesus out of me. He didn't gesture either, he would use our hand as an extension of himself and would take us to what he wanted and put our hand on it, if he wanted to go to another room etc he would get behind us and push us along. Now he is older my son can manage his day for himself, his independent within the house but needs round the clock care, has a great sense of humour, cares for his wee neice, does his own shopping when we go to the shops, phones us when we're out and tells us to come home becasue its late, cooks a few simple meals for himself and others if they're lucky, helps cleans the cars, picks the litter up in the garden, is totally independent when it comes to bathing and toiletting etc, and pinches his dad aftershave/belts/hairbrush just the way his big brothers did. Oh and he likes a good fight with his siblings, I never thought I would have seen the day. 8>) We've done home ed since day one as we felt his needs were so very great that had he been sent to school much would have been missed out on in his development, as it is we have gone at his pace. If it took him 3 hours to dress himself then so be it because we didn't have to worry about the transport being at the door. Well, it worked for us. 8>0 hth 8>)

My son is almost 16 and has a diagnosis of classic kanners autism, he was for the most part a silent child except for when he would have the most awful meltdowns due to the immense frustration he experienced in his day to day life. We thought he would never talk but at the grand old age of 9 years and 3 months he started to speak, his first word was "doobiedecoom" and it meant anything he wanted it to mean. <'> When he wasn't having meltdowns he could be very calm and would sit for hours just drawing, drawing, drawing, I think he used up quite a few rainforests in those early days. Drawing was his way of expressing himself, it was never anything he'd imagined for himself, it was always something he'd seen on the tv or outside. He had a fantastic memory and could capture the most intricate detail, he was like a baby steven wiltshire, I know that sounds conceited but it's true. As his speech developed his art work dried up and now that we have up to 8 words in a sentence, along with a few sentences at a time, he will occasionaly colour in the most basic of pictures, usually thomas, and that's very rarely. He really doesn't need his drawing now. Years ago I spoke to a teacher who'dspent her life teaching our children, she was of the opinion that 8 was about the cut off age for speech developing and that after that there was very little chance it would. As it happens I also know of a boy on another list who started to speak at 8, he is also profoundly autistic, more so than my son. hth