pingu

LOL. Thanks for your comments so far. We moved into this house to find green striped wallpaper which had been but on slanted, bright green carpets. Hehhe I love your Idea bid So thankyou for that. Please keep anything else comming - Im slowly starting to feel much better about buying the paint tomorrow <'> shaz x

Hello. <'> I am in the process of decorating (have been since christmas) and i now need to decide on a colour scheme. So please will you tell me A) What your own coulor scheme is and What colours you like and which ones look nice together. I am totally useless with this type of thing and we are going to start paining on monday (ONLY I HAVE NO PAINT) We are just going to 2 tone the walls in 2 different type of colours - i wanted Terreccta/cream but am worried it will look too dark. Sorry for my vaugeness, i really am useless. I just want a decorated room in nice colours and have tried looking for ideas online (to no avail) So please tell me what you think. At the moment we have a Green (and brown ish) type sofa which doesnt look as bad as it sounds, and a rustic carpet. i am soooo lost in all this. what do i pick??????? Help gratefully appriciated. shaz x ps love you all - i hope everyone is well

Lol. I was sweating before she got near me, but thanks you have put my mind at rest. <'>

Hi all. Mum has just pricked my finger (she is type 2 diabetes) and tested my blood the result said 6.1. Her blood sugar levels are always around 10-14 (she is on loads of medication for it) but she is unsure if mine was high at 6.1 (second test was 5.9) Does anyone have any idea if this is within the normal range? Thankyou. x

Just thought i would let you know that kieran seems ok this morning, but has been very quiet, im not sure how much of this is shock, as he doesnt seem that fazed by it all, or how much of it is how much he has changed. My friend phoned me this morning to ask if he was ok, she was there when it happened and has been plauged by the same flashback as me. She said he stopped dead the second we shouted and that if it had been a second later it would have been too late. Im struggling of late to get through to him, he seems so distant. i feel like we are on that horrible downward spiral again and i dont want to do all this again. Hubby has barely spoken today, i think im putting to much energy into caring for and making sure that everyone is safe - ive just realised i give him no attention whatsoever - i dont know why he bothers staying. im feeling pretty mashed up in the head department today, my apologies for been negative. Someone stop the world - i want to get off

Hi guys. Ive just picked kieran up from school, where the teacher tells me he has been vauge all day "not really with us" and has been scrunching his face up and rolling his eyes for most of the day. He seems to be having a lot of these type of days recently.. Anyway on the way home without warning he ran out right in front of a car. Me and a friend had just been paising him for waiting at the previous road and then this happens. Like i say the car didnt hit him as kieran stopped dead just in time, but one more footstep would have seen him under the wheels. It all happened so quick but i cant get over how fast he can be - he caught me totally unawaress. Hes been very quiet since comming home and i think he is in shock in his own way. I feel so ###### irresponsible now, although i know there was nothing i could do he appeared to be waiting patiently, but he just ran.... i dont even think he saw the car. And he wont let me give him a hug, but all i want to do is hug him. ARRRrggggggghhhhhhhhhh. shaz

D <'> Keep the giggle material comming. Hehhee. Ive always said it ......and that confirms it....... Im not human - for if i was i would enjoy "mating" but i dont!! so does that mean im not human?? Quite like the idea of that praying mantis though !! hmmmm.

Hi Guys and gals. Kieran went on his first school trip the other day. The nurture group went on a trip to the park on one of the "new" "bendy buses". Not sampled the ride myself, but apparently they are like double single deckers with a bendy bit in the middle. So anyway the class which he is in were full of talk about them so the teacher decided to treat them all and take them out to the park etc. So we spent a restless thursday evening because kieran was so hyped up, and off he went friday morning. I spent the day expecting the phone to ring with disatorous news, but Lo and Behohl when i went to pick him up he had appeared to have a really good day. his teacher said they had stopped him falling into the duckpond (just) and he entertained (unknowengly) the staff with comments like "let the air out, im full" (after their picnic) and "my belly has no breath left" (on the bus home) So i was busy explaining all this to hubby after we got in, and hubby said to kieran (now here comes the reason for this whole topic) He said to him "So kieran, If you were sat at the front of the bendy bus, and Mrs ****** Was sat at the back who would go around the corner first??????? To which kieran replied............. "the Driver" Should have seen that comming shouldnt i !! Take care Guys. shaz (apologies for any mistakes in spelling- kids going wild)

so glad someone else has this problem, One of the very reasons i havent posted for a while is that i have been so emotionally drained and feeling like cracking - what with the increasing hyperactivity (which no one else sees) The increased stimming (which no one sees) the horrendous meltdowns and self harm (which no one sees) In fact No one sees nothing - blind as they are to the reality which is our lives all they see is a quiet shy boy who is a little unique in his mannesarisms. Thus i feel drained, sick and tired of trying to explain to people how bad things have got, and feeling frustrated as their blank expressions and looks of "i dont think its that bad" ! Yesterday for example - we had the occupational therapist here, she is lovely and has already sorted us out with a 6ft gate for the top of the stairs, and a fence so he can play out without dissapering. So yesterday she came to see how things were going and i asked her if there was any way we could put a waterproof (sealed) floor down in the bathroom as kieran keeps getting water on the floor and it comes through the kitchen ceiling. The lady was at a complete loss to understand HOW he got water on the floor at such a level to cause a problem, and no matter how i explained it - it didnt make sense. I ended up saying "look it doesnt matter- it sounds stupid - forget it". And even a family member has been at it, and this really did upset me as i love this woman, and i know shes getting on a bit, but she can be so insensitive. Recently we had a conversation about kieran, it went something like this. Her:- Did you see the jeremy kyle show today Me:- I did ! (it was the episode where they had the insperational kids on) Her:- Well at least your problems arnt as bad as that Me:- What makes you say that? Her:- Well you dont have to look after him 24/7 Me:- I do Her:- Come off it, kieran's no where near as bad as all that Me- You wanna try living with him her:- at least hes not disabled Me- thats exactly what he is Her:- hes not in a wheelchair and at least he can walk and talk, its those other people i feel sorry for, having to care for them "poor" kiddies all the time, getting up every hour to put creams on and feed them through tiubes Me:- I feel for them too, but these are different conditions, and i have to do all the 24/7 stuff just for different reasons, I realised at this point i wasnt getting anywhere and changed the subject, as i was beginning to sound feeble in comparrison to these REAL problems. Things like "well i have to cope with meltdowns" didnt seem to have any relevance what-so-ever to how she classifies the need for extra help. HENCE - Im fed up with the ignorance, Im off to a meeting soon with the psychologist and i have got to try and explain how bad things have got, I have to be his voice - but sometimes i ask myself is it worth it? babble away about the problems his latest routine and obbsessions are causing and it sounds like a weak excuse for not coping. but in reality its not weak its real, and to be honest its tiring, and i dont think we are ever going to make ignorant people understand what goes on. they are too wrapped up in there perfect lives to notice. Note - No offence meant by that- i know some people who have no connections with autism been very concerned for his welfare, its just the people who i would expect to understand - seemingly dont! Shaz

Good point - havent a clue myself but i would also be interested to know why. Been nosey like i am

thanks Kris & lufty and anyone else who made it possible to get back on line. i was saying to hubby i hadnt realised how much i take this site for granted, ireally missed you all and am so with whoever was responsible.. love you all shaz

Jeremy Kyle has some special sories of amazing kids ITV now. just thought i would let you know <'> shaz

Hi folks. Did anyone see big brother (9pm last night - and 8.30am this morning) Where it showed pete going outside with his pillow, Lisa asked him what he was doing and why he was in the garden etc, he just said he wanted to be outside for a minute, she left him to it and he began to "stim" I use this word as it just seemed that he was releasing all the tension from his body as i guess he had had to supress quite a lot. He used his pillow to "dampen" the noises and he was generally himself for about 3 minutes. After he had finished he said "thats better init" and looked calmer and more able to go back into the house. The reason ive mentioned it is because we were watching it and looked at each other and said together "kieran" = this is what we see when kieran gets home from school, only he plays with his plug but all the noises and that are there, this is why i called it "stimming" as its excactly what he does. Ive been trying to explain for ages what kieran does when hes stimming (to my mum/gran/brothers/school/friends etc) and they all just give me a blank look and say "he swings his plug ... and the problem is where????" as though not quite getting the "need" for kieran. Nor the current problems of this going on quite late at night if he feels the need. so i guess what im asking is - is this the sort of things that you see? like the intensity to move/flap/squeak and spin all in one go. Kieran comes in from school picks his plug up goes to my room and does all of the above for about half and hour, only then has he got enough patience to eat his tea. (are you getting what i mean?) I guess as he gets older he will have to try and 'curb' it a bit and this is what pete reminded me of, because he has curbed it so well so far and he felt he needed that 'private moment' to get it all out of his system. Later on may i add, whilst watching the live feed an argument broke out over shabaz and whilst everyone was at logger heads pete was doing star jumps onto the cushions looking totally happy with the situation. I love this guy - i loved eugene last year purely because he was so natural and shared a lot of what was familiar and i must say i love this guy too. I do hope he wins. Please share your views on the stimming, i would love to hear how others deal with there stress shaz

Hi elaine. Yes it was me. Lol. no worries, i had to sign out again anyway as true to form the second i start doing anything "for me" the kids do something which demands my attention, and right at that point kieran decided to draw all over himself with felt tip pens Steve has taken him to the shop right now (peace) But it wont last !!. Hope to speak to you soon. Shaz x

Up to now, and taking in mind we have only seen 8. Germany have my vote. Quite catchy. Edited to say. denmark is quite catchy too

Hi elaine Thank you. I have thought about taking him out of school, this is what i was discussing with his teacher yesterday, but i dont want to jump out of the frying pan into the fire. (so to speak) I completely lost the plot last night, it was 10pm and k was demanding a folder to put a piece of paper in, but i didnt have one. then he was climbing everywhere, and playing in the water, in fact every time i turned around to sort one thing out he was doing another. I just totally lost it. and went to my bed ! Im feeling a bit better today after crying for about 2 hours, I left hubby to deal with it all, only now hes feeling the same today as i did yesterday At present he is getting wound up about the noise/mess/disruption/climbing and behaviuor. And i really cant blame him. You would honestly think i had fed them on raw meat and smarties !! Thanks again, ill probably take you up on that chat. shaz

opppsss. do me and zemanski get to share the wooden spoon? Well done Sarah <'> thanks for the quiz baddad. t'was fun

<'> Thank you for your replies, I thought i would come back and answer some of the things which you have suggested so far. firstly without your support i wouldnt have got through today, and to 'stresshead' last night = <'> you helped me out more than you know, bless you ! Kieran has the run of our bedroom to do his stimming, he likes it in there as no one tends to disturb him, but the problem is recently he has wanted more and more space and the more we tell him "no" the more aggressive and demanding he becomes, but we are working on it. I am seriously considering keeping him off school, i did this last time he became to much and i must admit it did help, so i might try that again. Im scared to talk to my G.P as i dont trust doctors, but i know that it will eventually become inevitable. I got a phone call this afternoon from the psychologist, she totally agrees that things are not perfect and is going to try and arrange a meeting between the school and us to discuss excactly what kierans needs are. I had an emotional chat with his teacher at home time, she feels terrible because she was convinced she could make this work, and she hasnt been able to, i explained that its nothing to do with her, on the contary if it hadnt been for the nurture group and her level of teaching i would have taken kieran out of the school by now, (full credit to her she is lovely) I also found out the 'senco' isnt the senco, i was just made to believe this (for the last 2 years) The senco is actually the head teacher. Thankyou for all your hugs, you really dont know how much that has helped to know you understand. I will try and pick myself up and be there for you when you need me. You are right, we are all in the same boat, so lets sail together. <'> shaz

Having a really bad couple of weeks just now, All of the family have been drawn into this intense situation which has led to my eldest saying he want to leave (hes 13) K's behaviour has gone through the roof, his stimming is so so so intense it now last 5 hours a night, and for that 5 hours we cant walk freely around our own house, if we disturb him he screams and has to start his spinning from the begginning. I know that he is stressed at school which is probably whats causing it, but as usual he is not like this at school so they dont really see what we have to put up with. If he did do it at school the whole class would be unable to learn anything. Its got to the point where we cant hear ourselfs think and everything revolves around him. I couldnt even face getting up this morning but i had to eventually. Hubby been into school today and they admitted that he has learnt very little there in the last couple of years, but the class he has been a part of is not to blame, they have done there best with him and its his "in-attention" and impulsivity that is stopping him from learning, we feel as though we are been pushed into a corner and all of us feel like a pressure cooker waiting to explode. I said something out loud last night and now hate myself for saying it, i feel so guilty that i could have thought in this way. The criminal line was "if parenthood was a paid job - i would quit" How horrible is that ! Just need to get things off my chest whilst i await a call from the pychologist, Im seriously thinking about pulling him from school. on second thoughts, i dont know what to do anymore, everything is so ###### intense im sick of picking up the pieces, we have tried to discuss this in the past with school/docs/senco everyone, and they all play the "wait and see" card. i have waited and i have seen and now im sick of him falling flat on his face in the hope he will recover and learn. Hes not going to recover this is for life and now i realise that im scared for his future. Sorry to whinge - not having the best of days after what seemed like a never ending night ! Trying hard to pull myself together all i ever waanted was to have kids so i could love them and they could love me back, but instead i have a son who seems to resent me (eldest) A daughter who is so empathic the minute i raise my voice she bursts into tears and then there is k, who doesnt get all the emotion stuff, i know they all love us in there own way but i feel that 9 times out of 10 they are unreachable. Now i feel guilty again for saying all that. Im going before i say something i might regret sorry !

Hi there. Thanks for your advice (as always) I did manage to get the darn thing finished, (posted today) the relief is immense. But i am still fretting that i havent explained things as i could have done. But i have taken it on a 'worst day senario' and put about his meltdowns, the way he takes over the whole house to play with his plug (and if anyone disturbs him during this time he has to start from the begginning again) i have tried to answer everything as honestly as possible so i will let you know how it goes. I must say though, After the recent hype on the other topic about the journalist who thinks autism is fashinable i do feel as though im been judged as a money grabber in aid of his condition. this has stopped me from talking about it to my friend as i dont want to be thought about in this way. I keep telling myself that if other people had to live with what we do then they would change their opinions. cr*p situation to be in all round really isnt it. Feeling like im been swallowed up by an inconsolable grief at the moment as everything is a struggle, the school have said he will need at least 15 hours TA in year three and gone on to admit that may not be enough but the solution to this is for him to fall flat on his face without any more help before they will consider him for statemneting. Have you ever felt as though you are trapped in a ball of wool and grabbing the right strand to help you out is impossible?? I do ! Hope you are all ok. You godsends you ! Shaz

Are the results out yet??? Not that i got more than two right anyway As for yorkshire fog Ahemmmmm true to yorkshire form. what the heck is that all about, now have i qualified as been totally and utterly thick !! hehhee. shaz

Words cannot describe how angry i am HOW DARE SHE ? utterly Speechless

who said that was easy?>???? we had fun although we had meltdown moods to cope with half way through. are drinks been served afterwards. ?? Mine is a huge (bottle) of anything !! Love you all shaz

Count us in. OOOOOOOOOOhhhhh i love a quiz. shaz

They make me feel kind of odd too, when i look at them after i have done them i get a feeling similar to da-ja-vu Its more a 'feeling' but the thought or memory is that quick i cant catch it. I know that probably makes no sense, but then what does make sense with me around LOL. Im pretty strange too. But thankyou all for your opinions, its nice to know you understand. shaz