Jump to content

joybed

Members
  • Content Count

    345
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by joybed

  1. Piers will be starting Beavers on the 9th june. He will be 6 on the 7th and has been waiting to start. I have just spoken to the beaver leader, when i enquired I told them he had ASD and he just discussed it at detail and said it won,t be a problem but he will flag it up with the other leaders. Hopefully he will really enjoy it. Lydia has been going to Rainbows for a year so this gives them something to do on their own without each other. Feel excited but apprehensive for him.
  2. Hi as you know I have 2 boys with ASD and a daughter who has some features of ASD but is coping well generally and just appears very shy. School up until now have had no concerns. She is in year 1 and doing very well with her reading. However her writing and spelling are less good. For the past 3 weeks she has scored 0/5 on spelling tests and appears to be genuinely struggling her scores have been getting less and less over the past 6 weeks or so. For the past 2 weeks she has been refusing to learn her spelling and this week has been genuinely distressed when I have asked her to do them. I spoke to her teacher and they agreed that Lydia would join another spelling group to increase her confidence before she rejoined her present group. However she is upset she has been moved down a group nobody has told her she has moved down she just knows that. She told me she had joined duck group and I said that was good to which she burst into tears and said i didn,t understand as that was the group down and this meant she was stupid. I explained she just needed to increase confidence etc but she wouldn,t have it and said there was no point as she couldn,t possibly get them all right as she was stupid. Obviously much encouragement has been given and much liason with the teacher. We have also noticed that her writng is very untidy and that a lot of her letters are back to front. She often gets B and D mixed up. She is aware her writing is untidy but sayd she can,t write and neater, my writng is also very untidy and I told her this which cheared her up a bit. So my question is can you be dyslexic but stilll read well. There is a strong family history of dyslexia on my side and Piers possibly has it also. How can I encourage a child who has given up. I don,t really care about my children being top of the class so please don,t assume i am concerned she is not clever enough, I just want her to be happy and at the moment this is making her sad.
  3. My sister although not ASD has had agorophobia since she was 16 now 35. As a child she was very anxious was only told we were going on holidays when we were nearly there and then she would start vomiting, she was ill all christmas, hated school and literally clung to my mum and cried all day long. At around 13 she went the opposite way and became a very rebellious teenager drinking, smoking, hanging out with older guys etc she was pregnant at 15 and had my niece at 16. This is when the agoraphobia really kicked in, she became very depressed never went out at all had psychotherapy, hypnotherapy antidepressants the works but nothing worked. My parents tried everything being patient, dragging her out but it was a real fear for her and I will never forget the look on her face when they were trying to make her go out. She knew she owed it to her daughter to go out more but just couldn,t do it. As the big sister I spent hours watching and talking to her, helped her care for Jade and gently persuaded her to go out, it was very distressing. When she was 18 she met her present husband and he has been so patient with her knows when to push and when to leave alone, they now have another daughter who is 7. When Caitling was born she wanted a homebirth but it was refused as she also has chrohns disease, she went into hospital but Cate was a small baby and she had to have an overnight stay it took a while for me to persuade her to stay in hospital and although she loves Cate and is a fantastic mother she nearly walked leaving her with the midwives overnight. My DH doesn,t get it and says she should be pushed but having seen the mental anguish she goes through I can only push her so far. She has never held down a job and my Mum still takes my niece to school as she can,t do it alone although she will go with her in the car. The sad thing is I can see my oldest niece going down the same road she is 19 never had a job and only goes to places she is comfortable at. My sis is a bit better these days although she does rely very heavily on vodka to see her through and has refused medical treatment for her chrohns due to anxiety. I can see she is becoming more ill every time I see her but I can,t get through. I suppose what I am trying to say is really push for help before it gets too deep seated. I havn,t read the other replies and sorry if my reply is either innapropriate or too depressing. Take care of yourself.
  4. Piers has a real problem with his socks I know this topic has been covered before but where can i get seamless socks in the UK. He can,t stand the seams in them and has real tantrums every morning. Another problem is pants. He won,t wear his socks inside out. He is also fussy about colour plain white won,t be good enough for him. Anybody found any that are reasonably priced.
  5. joybed

    movicol

    MY oldest takes this and we mix it in squash has never been a problem getting him to take it like this orange juice also works well. He refused senna though didn,t like the look of it and we mixed it in yoghurt before sticking the lid back down, hated being so deceitful but it had to be done. We also mixed it with coke whlst on holiday and couldn,t get yoghurts, worked well but didn,t like giving coke but Ok in the short term. Marcus has been on meds for his bowels sice aged 2 he is now 14 and it is now a part of life. Piers is the opposite like your oldest, no problems and cleans himself up. My DD has problems and also takes movicol on occasions..
  6. I can,t begin to imagine how you feel but i agree i wouldn,t want him around my child either. It is difficult because he possibly doesn,t realise he has done anything wrong but you need to protect your own child. I agree that it would be better to seek advice from social services yourself that way at least everything is in the open and you are not hiding things. Don,t know how your partner would feel about this though. Hugs to you at this stressful time. Sorry no other advice but just wanted to let you know i am thinking about you.
  7. Hi not been posting for a while have been reading but not posting. Things have been calm here for a change or maybe i have just accepted the way our life is now and chosen to think more positively about things. However Piers has become like forest gump (he ran and he ran and he ran). He runs everywhere to school, in the street whilst shopping. He has no regard for road safety and just runs across them like they don,t exist. This is made worse by the fact that Lydia is a very laid back little girl who likes to take her time so she dawdles to school as she doesn,t really want to go and finds everything else so much more fascinating. It is a relatively safe journey to school until you get to school where there is a lollipop lady she intercepts Piers every morning and waits for me to catch up with Lydia. She doesn,t have a problem with this. Once we have crossed the road he again runs off into school and off to play. This morning his teacher stopped me and said they were concerned about Piers coming to class on his own and said they have had a discussion about his running off all the time. The office staff have complained saying I allow Piers to come into school on his own and they are concerned for his safety. I explained to his teacher that no matter how i play it i will leave a 5 year old unnatended and her response was that I need to stop him running off as it is not safe. She has made me feel like a substandard parent who doesn,t look after her children properly. I can see it from there point of view but I have tried everything I can think off to make Piers walk with me and not run off. We have tried reward charts, social stories, drawings of what would happen if he was hit by a car, discussed stranger danger and the importance of staying with me, we have even tried a wrist strap but he tantrums and refuses to walk, also this makes him different to his school friends.. None of it sinks in he just laughs and runs off. Lydia is fed up of hearing how we must walk faster as Piers is running of and walks all the more slowly. I think school are being a bit unrealistic, Piers and Lydia are in different classes and while i am seeing her into class he runs off but then school complain that i am not waiting to get him into class when the bell goes how can i be in 2 places at once. I can,t take Piers first as Lydia,s classroom door is locked if she doesn,t go in with the rest of the class. Often Piers is asked to go to the office despite the fact it is about 30 seconds after the bell has gone and his LSA opens the door to tell me to take him to the office he then gets a late mark and is unsettled all morning. I have discussed this with them and they said they have to set an example. Any ideas.
  8. I don,t think anybody meant that it was justified that she poured bleach down her childs throat i think any rationale person would stop and think before doing a thing like this but i think the point people were trying to make is that their is a distinct lack of support out there for families and occasionally people feel like their is no way out and so do desperate things. This is very sad but I don,t think we can point the finger without all the facts. Anybody who is deliberately cruel or harms a child is in my view a monster and should be dealt with accordingly and i don,t think anybody was saying it matters less for this child who has difficult behaviour than it does for a smiling toddler, every child deserves love and respect and should be treated equally especially by their parents. I personally never blaim my children for their behaviour I am well aware it is not their fault and they can,t help it but at times due to tiredness or just the sheer volume of incedents that have occured on a set day i find it hard to stay smiley and help them through their issues, sometimes i just need to walk away for a short period of time and come back to it later. I don,t think this makes me a bad mother just human and I can help my children far better by having the ability to back away from a situation and deal with it later. Sometimes this is difficult to do particularly with Marcus who will keep at something until he gets the answer he wants. Sometimes I make mistakes say things i regret again i am human and i am thankful for the back up of my husband and friends. I too have people say to me that i have the patience of a saint and i too say that I just do what I have to do and on the whole the rewards far outweigh the rough times but I know DH doesn,t feel like this and really struggles with the behaviour of all the kids not just the boys the only way he can deal with it is to let me deal with it. I most of the time am happpy he feels confident enough in my abilites to let me deal with it but other times i would appreciate more support.
  9. Following on from my post earlier Lydia did a couple of odd things tonight that I am hoping soemone can shed some light on. I know my feelings but am hoping i am wrong as I don,t feel ready for a fight with DH and the system again. Also a bit concerned i am heading for a diagnosis of munchausens by proxy as i always seem to have my children at the doctors. So at the risk of sounding an oddball (or concerned mother whichever you choose) here goes. She had a friend to play tonight, i picked them up but Piers was at film club so we had to go back to school an hour later. On the way there both girls were pushing pushchairs Lydia insisted she be in the front of the line and all the way there kept saying to me stop trying to push past now you are not in the game, I replied i never was in the game and told her i had no intention of going past her but she kept saying it eventually getting very upset and angry, her friend got bored and ran off ahead with Piers Lydia wasn,t bothered by this. Back at the house her friend asked her something several times and she ignored her and continued watching high school musical i had to go in and tell her Milly was talking to her and persuade her to answer. The third thing is the most bizarre we were doing her key words but she appeared to know them from memory last time we did them so i had mixed them up. She became very upset and couldn,t read a lot of them despite her having read these words lots of times in reading books. I couldn,t figure out whether she was trying to wind me up or genuinely was struggling. I kept my patience but was firm about her finshing them. After she had finished she went to her room and cried upon asking what was wrong she said she didn,t like the words being mixed up they are not meant to be like that and because of that she couldn,t read them. She was very distressed they were mixed up and asked me to put them the way they were in the first place. I explained i couldn,t remember the order they were in and that she needs to learn the words as they are not from memory she didn,t understand this or think it necessary. When we saw the genetics team they asked about Lydia and if we had any concerns i said no as DH was there and is not willing to accept a problem with Lydia. She said she was certain the cause of the ASD in my boys was genetic and she would not be surprised if Lydia was affected but possibly to a lesser degree. When I was concerned over the party the other day and said to DH about it he hit the roof saying that i was not to get her assessed for ASD as he didn,t want her to be and couldn,t cope with it.
  10. That is really terrible though I am inclined to feel that both the mother and children have been let down maybe if more help and support had been available she wouldn,t have been driven to this. I once nursed someone who had drank bleach in an attempt to kill herself and yes she was in agony and needed major surgery. I feel so terribly sad this has happened.
  11. Piers will be 6 in june. He is very small for his age though and i think that is the consultants main worry he said if he was his child he wouldn,t put him on meds because he is short stature anyway and he is worried about further growth delay. He is a lovely boy most of the time but when he is hyper he is really difficult to manage and can be aggressive i don,t want this to get any worse and then it be harder to change. We have enough problems with Marcus at the moment and he had the appropriate level of care from fairly young. He is ASD only though but has very limited social skills. Piers wants to be sociable and is very loving and really cries when he has been out of control he says he doesn,t mean to be naughty but can,t help it and is truly sorry. Marcus has never shown ever remorse for anything he has done, he will apologise in one breath and tell me why it is my fault in the next. I don,t mean this to sound negative towards Marcus but this is the way it is, it has taken me a long time to accept it and it still upsets me.
  12. Someone at school was raving about this her daughter is coeliac and has never taken sandwiches to school as they couldn,t find a bread she liked but is now thrilled to be takning sandwiches for packed lunch instead of crackers, bless her she is only 4.
  13. Hi has anyone read this book I stumbled across it on the green parent forum with a link to a website where you can do a test to see if your child is sensitive or not. The book looks really good and have just ordered it from amazon. It discusses children with sensitivity issues and shyness problems and how you can understand and help them. We have recently had a few worries about Lydia I have posted on here once before about it. Lydia is very shy and at times refuses to talk she becomes very anxious about things and is a very deep thinker. She has a good social network of friends but at times doesn,t intiate playing with them waiting for them to come to her. She went to a party on Sunday and sat in a corner sucking her thumb and wouldn,t join in when asked why she said she was too shy to dance and just preferred to sit quietly and watch. Her teacher said she is unusually quiet but always polite and academically no concerns at all, she causes them no bother. However at home she is stroppy, likes routine and is difficult to tell off as she refuses to listen and goes to her room and sobs for ages. She is also a drama queen the other day she couldn,t find something and cried about it for 1 hour it was the end of the world. I have at times suspected aspergers but then she is very perceptive and extremly loving, she would give her last breath if you asked for it. I think she is just very shy and also am aware she has a very difficult home life for a 5 year old i worry about the things she has seen particularly regarding Marcus. She also thinks she is fat and the other girls have better clothes than her( certainly not got this from us as we tell her constantly how beutiful she is). She seems to suffer from severe underconfidence. Just wondered if anyone else had come across this and wanted your thoughts on the book. I am hoping it will shed some light on Lydia and help me to raise her self esteem a bit.
  14. My niece who is NT still has lots of cuddly toys. Marcus stopped sleeping with his crash bandicoot toy at about 11 but it is still in his room and woe betide me if i move it. Piers carries his favourite bear everywhere with him DH thinks he is too old but it doesn,t bother me. Yes he is 5 but small for his age and it gives him great comfort. Somenights he can barely get into bed for his toys. Both of my boys and another 2 ASD boys I know in Piers school ahve always carried something to school with them which they hand to mum just before going into class I think it is something familiar for them. Lydia always has a little soft toy in her book bag which I know she goes and finds when she is feeling sad or missing me. She has aquick cuddle and then goes back to class, her teacher knows and doesn,t mind.
  15. joybed

    Tourettes

    Trying to decide whether to get Marcus assessed for this he has always shouted out strange words and grimaced a lot as well as hand flapping and biting himself. This has got worse in the last few years, he tends to shout poo a lot but also makes a strange vocailsation as well half way between a scream and a low moan difficult to describe. School have said this is becoming an increasing problem and is very disruptive for the class. I spoke to his consultant when there with Piers the other day and he said to get my GP to refer to a paed neurologist. I have always assumed it is part ASD and part done to annoy us as he does it most frequently when at home and school both times when he is anxious but now not so sure. The ASD team say get him assessed at least to rule it out.
  16. Have just come back from Piers appointment with no diagnosis yet, not surprised though. The docs acknowledged the problems and said that they couldn,t give an ADHD diagnosis but had we been having this conversation when he was aged 7 or 8 he would be diagnosed and we would be talking medication and treatment routes. They also said in other areas they would have had no problems giving a diagnosis but in Doncaster they don,t like to diagnose until aged 7. They did say it was a matter of maturity and possibly his problems could be ASD related but time will tell. We have to go back for another appointment in 1 year and go through it all again. They also want us to have a detailed mental health review to see if their is anything they are missing. So back to CAMHS we go. They di say if things become desperate to get back in touch though.
  17. We have an appointment tomorrow with the externalising behaviour clinic who are assessing Piers for ADHD. We have filled in the connors score as have school and are now waiting for the results. Not sure what will happen he appears a little calmer these days since we have limited him watching certain DVDs. We noticed a direct link between behaviour and watching DVDs such as Power rangers and spiderman. He is at the moment obsessed with scooby doo and alvin and the chipmunks and these seem a more positive roll model. Not sure how i feel about naughty chipminks being a roll model but at least he is no longer running around practising tae kwondo on everyone. He is still aggressive though and very impulsive so we will see, will let you know the results tomorrow.
  18. Hi as you may have read ny my post lack of respect we are in a similar though much position to yoursef. Obcviously i am not tryimg to trivialise wehat you are going through but we were in your situatoion a few years ago didn,t really tackle the problem and now the problems are so much worse. I suppose what I am trying to say is try really hard to work at it now and don,t let it escalate. Marcus attempts to manipulate the whole family and now is using the I don,t belong with this family anymore tactic. We are now in the horrible situation of having to be really tough at a time when he and we feel very vulnerable and this isn,t how i imagined parenting to be. Hope you find a way around it, if so let me know. What meds is J on we were seeing CAMHS a while back Marcus was self harming, depressed and very destructive but they said they wouldn,t consider meds unless he actually attempted suicide. I know nothing about Meds but am wondering if they would help, we are getting no help, CAMHS have discharged us, we have been on the waiting list for art therapy for a year and everyone the paed consultant refers us to turns us down as M doesn,t have learning difficulties. Sorry if this sounds negative.
  19. Hi Sally i am already aware of the sensory issues and have explained this to DS and DH they both accept it but my mum refuses to this as an issue to her Marcus is being punched and she sees it that we are covering up and hushing up Marcus. Last night she was bareley speaking to me and she was obviously not backing me up on the discipline front. M was very rude when he came home from school (to me DH wasn,t there) and I told him off a few times and he just laughed in my face. I mentioned to my mum that i can,t get thorugh to him and he won,t listen to me and she was neither bothered nor told M off, she just shrugged her shoulders in a serves you right attitude. DH says i should have brought M home straight away saying to my Mum that if she wasn,t willing to back us up she can,t have him, but it all seems so negative and would make Ms attitude towards us even worse. I had decided yesterday that i was going to reduce contact with his Nanna with a view to building up a family relationship again. M hasn,t been on holiday with us for 2 years as he causes such trouble and spends all weekends and most school holidyas with his garandparents, this situation has snuck up on us without us realising it. Now M says he doesn,t belong with our family anymore won,t listen to us and doesn,t get on with his siblings. He uses his home as a place to sleep and go to school from, he shows no love or liking of us at all and is reluctant to do anything with us. So as i said I wanted to slowly build up a relationship with my son again but A, my parents will make this difficult as they will demand he keeps going to them as often especially if it makes M upset and B, and more significantly DH says he isn,t really willing to try as M makes life so difficult for everyone it makes family life impossible and Lydia particularly is terrified of him. I really want to try but DH says if the twins suffer he will take them away as they are not suffering for Ms sake. I am torn and can bareley bring myself to look at DH today. I know he shouldn,t be with his Nanna as she is manipulating the situation to her own advantage she has said since M was small she wanted full custody, but Marcus says he will make everyones life hell till he gets to live with his Nanna. Part of me thinks everyone except me would be happier if he went to live with his Nanna, but I know this isn,t true as she lets him do as he likes. I know he wouldn,t go to school but she wouldn,t HE either and he would stay at home with her all day. Or she will get fed up and send him back home and he will be gutted also DH says if he goes he isn,t coming back. Have been close to tears all day but know i have to try i won,t give up on him. My parents have no regard for any rules we set up in the home, we put Marcus on a GF/CF diet they broke it telling him it was stupid, we said no holidays in tern time they book holidays in term time. Piers was lactose intolerant as a baby my Mum fed him a family sized pack of chocolate buttons when he was sick it wasn,t her fault, we have have asked her for the past 2 weeks not to buy P+L a DVD but they get a new one every week. What kind of message is this sending out to the kids but I and DH are the only ones who see this as unreasonable behaviour they are the grandparents and have a say in there upbringing. I have tried to be nice but am on the verge of losing it I suppose i have been a doormat till now but no more. I have kept the peace for my Dad who is a nice man but does anything for a quiet life. I really don,t want to fall out with them but can,t see an alternative as they are not listening. Mum won,t come to CAMHS and I wouldn,t feel comfortable talking about it in front of her anyway as she will deny everything and then make life hell. DH cannot be reasonable in her presense as he says she is just evil. She will be filling M full of poisonous bile as we sit here. I can,t speak to my sister as she will say keep quiet for a peacefull life, the last time we fell out my Sis said if i cut contact with M and Mum I wouldn,t see her or her children either. My niece is 18 now so could make up her own mind but i don,t want to cause trouble for her either.
  20. Have contacted school and spoke to his year tutor he has said that marcus has been very giggly this week and appears to be distancing himself from the rest of the school. i am not surprised as he only really likes to be close to one person his Nanna. School thankfully said that they do not believe for one minute Marcus is being abused and they have noticed he tells stories. So this is arelief. I spent a long time talikng with my friend earlier and we decided that I need to gradually get marcus to spend less time with his nanna and get him to spend more time with us as a family. HE is reluctant to do anything with us but goes everywhere with his Nanna. The last school holiday he spent hardly anytime at home and was very reluctant to even spend christams day with us. My parents seem to be taking control of him and we havn,t even noticed it happening. The only problem is my Mum will see this as something personal now that we have had a row last night and yet again i will be the bad one. Feel physically ill which to be honest i could do without at the moment as i have had enough health worries so i just need to figure out a way of doing this as sensitively as possible.
  21. Hi and thankyou all for your replies. When I said noone had eaten we got a takeaway later although we got an indian not the chinese Marcus wanted, Marcus isn,t keen on indian and complained all the way through it but everyone else was OK with it. Lydia was the most upset as she is very sensitive and tends to go very quiet when Marcus starts it really upsets her. Piers wasn,t really that bothered he said (exact words) "Marcus is such a baby having a tantrum I am autistic and I would never behave like that, I am better behaved than Marcus". This morning M woke saying he felt ill and it was the fault of the takeaway and it was my fault for making him eat it. To be honest and I feel guilty saying this I could barely bring myself to speak to him. HE carried on trying to get a reaction until I told him what I thought, he seems to think I have no control that his Nanna is in charge so I have told him different and that what I say goes in this house and his Nanna has no say in the matter. He has gone to school angry and I feel sure wil tell his LSA,s the story, will ring school and fill them in. Lydia again was upset by the agro this morning and to top it off I realised this morning that she has a spelling test and we have only learned them once due to all the hassle this week. I am seeing my Mum this evening and am dreading it the last time something like this happened we ended up rowing and I left the house with all 3 kids which upset them all, but I am not beeing a doormat anymore. MY Mum is very good at playing the marter and Will twist it to make others believe she is right , she still denies she emotionally abused myself and sister as we were growing up, my sister has mental health problems and won,t admit it as she needs the support of my mum and my Dad denies it for a quiet life. I feel very alone and if truth be told she makes me feel like a little girl in her presense and I start to wonder if i have imagined everything. I am now going to a friends for coffe who is in a similar situation with her 14 year old in Marcus class so will get some much needed support.
  22. Things have stepped up a gear tonight. We went to the hairdressers straight from school on returning it was late and I suggested we either eat out or get a takeaway. DH reminded me that Marcus had destroyed his school jumper the other day so couldn,t have a chinese. He kicked off big style, screaming and wailing, miles asked him calmly to go to his room which he refused, Miles gently pushed him towards the door to which Marcus punched him on the arm. Miles continued to suggest he leave the room and put gentle guidance in the middle of his back to guide him upstairs. HE then threw himself to the floor Miles touched him with his foot and pushed him into his room. HE continued to throw things and tantrum, we closed the door because the twins were scared. I left him to it for 5 minutes and then intended to go and talk to him, just as I stood up the phone rang (my mother) M had rang her on his mobile saying Miles had repeatedly kicked him and punched him in the back and legs and he was in agony. She said she was sick of Miles abusing M and was telephoning socail services (again). I said to her did she really think I would stay with a man who was abusing my son and told her i had been present at all times. She replied I had better go and look at him because he was distraught at the level of abuse he was being subjected to. I amazingly never lost my temper although she says i was shouting and explained about Ms poor attitude towards Miles. After speaking to M he has admitted Miles never kicked him but still maintains he hit him their is no mark on him anywhere and I was present the whole time. Miles admits he grabbed his jumper to get him up the stairs. I have tried to impress upon M the seriousness of his allegations but he says he doesn,t care he wants Miles out of our life. I am deaply concerned because if someone confessed these allegations to me I would be concerned and I know he is making it all up, for what reason i don,t know. M says he prefers to live with his Nanna as she is fun and lets him do as he likes, I have tried to explain if he lived there permanently things wouldn,t be the same. CAMHS have expressed concern about my mums interfering in the past and suggested we cut contact but this would break Marcus although this is breaking my family. WE are now discharged from CAHMS. I am losing him and feel powerless. M is currently in his room playing on his computer like nothing happened DH is at the point where he is sick of the lies and my mothers interference, nobody has yet eaten and the twins are a bit upset and in the bath. Sorry for the rant.
  23. joybed

    Why me

    Just to update you been to the GP today blood tests all normal but have decided to add on thyropid function test just for good measure. Have been told they can find nothing clinically wrong with me which obviously is a relief i am apparently just suffering from exhaustion and have been told to rest more. GP said I must find soemone to have the kids for a few days (she never offered though), they just don,t understand I don,t have anyone to help me. She also asked me several times if i was depressed I have been depressed in the past but am not now have resigned myself to the fact that this is my life and am enjoying it despite everything. I may be stressed and tired but not depressed. I told her this but she still wants to do a depression scoring questionnaire which I have accepted. So I now feel like they can find nothing physical so they are trying to find something mental, sums me up really LOL.
  24. Hi as I type this i am very aware that it may all sound wrong and as if i am blaiming certain people for certain things this is not the intention I am merely trying to find a way for my son and his stepdad to get on, so please bear with me. Marcus at the moment has gone from doing well at school and spending most of his time in his room to being anxious again and causing a lot of difficulties in the house. As far as i am aware nothing has changed at school ditto at home but he is becoming increasingly more giggly, shouting out silly words and destructive. He says he is the same at school and apart from 2 teachers at parents evening saying he disrupted the class by winding people up I havn,t been told this, (one of these teachers only gripe was lack of eye contact which was obviously the reason for his lack of concentration ). The past few days have been particularly bad Marcus has decided his stepdad has no right to tell him off, go into his room, infact have anysay regarding him whatsoever. Marcus has been overheard to be telling his younger siblings to ignore their dad has he is stupid and has no right to tell them off. He has a tantrum if DH even looks at him, will not listen to anything he says and is downright rude and frequently obnoxious. He is like this with me a little but more willing to sit down and listen, the only person he really listens to is his Nanna who hates my DH and thinks Marcus can do no wrong, she is rarely honest about anything DS and herself discuss. Some background so hopefully you can help with this situation, DS1 was nearly 5 when i met DH, from the onset Miles accepted M as his own but I will admit had difficulties coping with ASD. DH had no children of his own and struggled with the transition from single man to father fo ASD child. Too much too soon I think. That being said he has always tried his very best, I will admit as will he that he often speaks before he puts his brain into gear and can say hurtful things. I am fed up with being piggy in the middle. I am concerned that Marcus has no respect for anyone and refuses to listen, I am also very aware he is a teenager. How can i make our home happier.
×
×
  • Create New...