Hectorshouse

How and have just had my first of the day. You must be sooooo proud, well done L. HHxx

Thanks everyone fo adding your comments. I totally agree with you Phasmid that it is particularly the last comment that is so offensive, but what a beauty to get it in a quote from the LEA and published. I really hoping to name and shame them, not only have they let T down in his right to an education, but they have actually told people not to move here if your child has SEN, this discrimination is appalling and has been forwarded to the DRC as well, also I'm emailing the local government ombudsman the story and the DfES ... I am also hoping that by doing all this maybe the people in Devon in the powers that be will start acknowledging the fact that ASD is real, its not EBD, its not naughty children, and our children need the appropriate support to access education ... anyway I'm preaching to the converted here! Thanks again to everyone, HHxx

I'm just giving this thread a *bump* I would really appreciate your help in raising the awareness, this is a golden opportunity (not one too troll obviously) but I'm hoping this is going to be picked up by one of the leading papers ... 10 comments so far ... lets see how many we can actually get. Thanks again, HHxx on a mission.

I would really appreciate it if anyone (or everyone .. just slightly ambitious I know) would add their comments to T's story, I would like to really put a rocket up the LEA's ar*e and shake the paper up a bit ... parent power and all that heres the link .... http://www.thisisexeter.co.uk/displayNode....&folderPk=79877 Your support is greatly appreciated, HHxx

When I first came into contact with the SEN system for T I totally trusted the school thinking that they knew best and they were the professionals etc .. which is some ways they are, but when it comes to the statementing process schools are under huge pressure from LEA's not to go for it because of budgetary requirements. They try to make the system inaccessible and confusing, this puts many off at the first hurdle and also saves them huge amounts of money. It is not a mystical system and once you get your head around it you can get it to work for you. Apply for statutory assessment yourself, don't wait for the school, like you said you could be waiting months, there is loads of support here to help you through the process. HHxx

tez, phas & annie have said it all ... Hi and welcome as well Don't let people like this intimidate you they are working to their own agenda (a budget) its people like this that flomux parents and that is why this forum is soooo fantastic. Good luck, there is loads of help and advice here, HHxx

blimey didn't know that about the charges I got charged �16.20 in Cornwall ... !! for 60 pages ... never quite knew how they worked it out, but didn't mind because they photocopied soooo much stuff that I don't think they meant to HHxx

what a fantastic idea Phas! Go get 'em Tez, don't take any prisoners, you know your stuff ... big up for informed parents! HHxx

Clarkie this is the best news, it just goes to show what you can do. I really hope that your brilliant R has as better time from here on in, all my best to you and your family. True respect & love to you and yours, HHxx

Minxygal, I couldn't have put it better. HHxx

I've added an edited bit of my email to the editor to the website as well, so as those that read the article on their can see directly what its purpose was meant to be. Am loving the comments already on there, I'm seriously hoping that DCC will come into a bit of stick now HHxx

My comments to the editor ... Dear Sir, thank you for publishing T's story in todays paper, but unfortunately there are several inaccuracies in it. It was not just my feelings that the Exeter schools would not be able to cope, it was the opinion of every SENCO that I spoke to. I never missed the deadline for xxxx school, I was never allowed the opportunity by the LEA to consider it as all alternative, yes I do have grave concerns about EBD being combined with ASD children there is huge evidence of how detrimental this can be as staff are trained to deal with EBD children and then apply the same methodology to ASD children, which does not work, ASD children then become in danger of being seen as 'naughty' children. ASD is a disability EBD is not. I do not necessarily agree with the statement that there is not enough SEN provision in Exeter secondary schools, but I do insist that there is not enough ASD provision in secondary schools. ASD is not just a SEN issue, it is a disability issue, and without appropriatly trained and educated educators this particularly vulnerable group of children are disadvantaged. With 100 millions pounds spent on the new schools in Exeter where is the area resource base? Exeter is after all the county town, a centre of excellence etc ... then where is this provision, it is not good enough just to abandon children like T to a mainstream system that is poorly equipped to deal with what is a hidden disability. Finally, DCC state I had always expressed a preference for xxxx, this is not true, I never made a preference, none of the Exeter schools were willing to consider T as a prospective pupil, xxxx was the only one that would, and even that is on a temporary basis for one term. After that they will decide whether they can meet his needs, no provision has been put in place for T if xxxx feel they cannot meet his needs. xxxx has an exemplorary record for SEN children and those with ASD, this I did not know until I visited them. The Panel did recommend a mainstream school, but not which one, my designated school was full anyway. I would like it to be known that there was no preference in T's placement, and I was only fortunate to get xxxx to consider a trial period. Also DCC say that reassessment was not complete ... he had a full reassessment earlier this year and enough paperwork to support this to fill a small office, if he needed appropriate paperwork then why wasn't this discussed with me. A statement is a legally binding document, and this is what the LEA have agreed to when we moved here. I particularly enjoyed the DCC comment about choosing where you move to according to what provision is available locally to you, I thought that Exeter was the premier town of Devon, isn't this a rather irrelevant comment? Does this mean if I was to move to London I shouldn't expect provision either, or is provision only available to those in the outer regions of mongolia? HHxx Ok so I got my ar*e in my hand a bit but ... !!!!

T's story finally made it into the local rag, its not brilliant and there is quite a bit of stuff that I don't agree with and somehow the paper missed the point about there being no specific ASD provision in any of the bright and shiny new schools, and the HT's were obviously defensive. Also the LEA have said that T's assessment wasn't complete so SENCO's wouldn't have had the full information, well he had had a full assessment and they had the paperwork, anyway thats me pulling hairs .. but atleast its in the paper. http://www.thisisexeter.co.uk/displayNode....&folderPk=79877 HHxx

.... aww bless you guys .... there was me having a terrible mother day, feeling to hard to T but actually he needed this time out day, have had a great chat with him over lunch about what was troubling him ... and guess what ... he even said that because he was given a 'yellow slip' for refusing point blank and swearing about his spellings that he thought that was it ... oh my little drama queen. I've just spent this morning drafting a couple of social stories for him, which he seems to have enjoyed and we are sending them to school as well ... lots of positive reinforcement, some of them have been borrowed from others that I have read be interested in what anyone else thinks .. Trying to do my work ? The teacher or TA comes into class and I am given my work to do. I don?t like this work but it is what I have to do. All the children have work to do and they probably don?t like having to do it either. Sometimes the work is boring. I have to go into class with my TA, I have to get my stuff ready and listen to what I am being asked to do. I have to react to this quietly and in a way that doesn?t disturb anyone around me. When the TA gives me my work to do, she explains it and is there to try and help me. The teachers and TA?s really like it when I try and do some work, it doesn?t matter if I get it wrong or if it?s messy. The teachers and TA?s are very pleased when I haven?t sworn because I got frustrated, and are even more happy when I use my special word .. FUDGEY DONKEY .. Its so much nicer than when I swear and no-one gets upset. I remember that the TA?s are there to help me and they care for me. I know that if I try and do some work, I will feel happy and so will they, this is a good thing and the more I do the happier I will feel. Knowing that I have controlled my frustration makes me feel better and I can be proud of myself. Trying to do my work is more important than getting it right. Each day is a new day, if I try to control my temper I will feel better and everyone around me will feel happier. and Being Angry is OK ?. But ? it?s important what I do and say. It?s ok to feel angry, everyone does now and then, everyone has bad days, but as we grow older we need to know how to learn ways to handle this anger, as this keeps everyone safe and happy. It?s important to keep thinking when I?m angry. Some people may forget to do the right thing when they are angry and make mistakes, but it is a good thing to try and make the right choices when I?m angry which is something I must try and remember. If I can learn to keep thinking and that will help me make good choices. Here are things I can think when I am angry ? 1. I will not be angry for long, actually I spend more time happy than I do angry, and I will feel happy again. 2. There is a solution, and talking to others is a really good way to find the solution. 3. It?s possible to have a bad time during a good day, but this doesn?t mean that the whole day has been bad and that if I make good choices I can be having a good day again. When I am angry if I keep thinking I can make good choices, here are some I can think about ? 1. Take deep breaths or a break, relaxing by breathing does help and going for a brief walk might also make me feel better, making it easier to think calmly. 2. I can tell people I am feeling angry, and I don?t have to swear to do this, it can just be a ?FUDGEY DONKEY? moment. 3. I can keep other people and things safe, this means that if I keep my hands, feet and fingers under my control no-one will get hurt or cross. More and more I will be able to stay calm and I know I have to learn to do this, but this is a very grown up and intelligent thing to do, and I know I will feel happier for this. HHxx

Thanks again for all your advice. Have been scouring the internet for social stories and am biting the bullet and having a go myself at drafting one for T, have been to Carol Grays website and found loads of really helpful things there. First Story is going to be on Anger/Frustration Second is going to be on Perfectionism Also have been onto the CIDs bod, and have asked her for some help/advice. Spoke to SENCO today about why T is at home, she is also very concerned about T, and that although they think he is fab that unfortunately isn't the issue. The problem for them is that if he keeps disrupting learning for others then this temporary placement will be just that! and they will not be able to meet his needs, saying that she doesn't want this to be the case, and really does want things to work out for T. Will post my stories on here to see what people think ... wish me luck, HHxx

Thanks Vv and Z anything helps. I felt really mean writing that he was acting spoilt, I know its not really what I mean but trying to find the right words for it I suppose to others it appears spoilt or non-compliant or just down right irritating. I suppose this is where the social skills are really presenting problems ... I don't know where he gets his stubborness from or determination T has such a level of perfectionism that he aspires too but is also unable to deliver (ie. with his written work/drawing etc ) due to his dyspraxia etc, that he ends up being his own worst critic, this usually ends up in the ripping work up etc, then he moves on to all the usual avoidance tactics that disruption allows for ... my little performing maestro. The school genuinely care for him and want him to do well, which of course so do I, but it is so sad to see him using the controlling tactics he used before that caused him so much trouble. He has such a fear of failure that he won't risk doing something in case its wrong, if he has choices he is so worried that he is going to make the wrong choice, all these anxieties have increased with him going back to school, obviously when he was at home with me these things weren't a worry and could help him with his choices, the school do try to do this but its not the same as mum is it? When I consider his perfectionism to my own, I understand where he is coming from but I don't have the problems in accessing learning that T has, I have rages when I am not in control, but as I have become older have learnt (probably the hard way) how to minimise this, although I do still lash out verbally at my long suffering partner when I am in one of these, fortunately he's still here and does understand. But back to perfectionism ... for me I aspire to it and also push myself towards it in what I do, I do get frustrated but become tenacious as opposed to T's way. I gain control by doing it, T gains control by avoiding it, if that makes sense ... each to their own I suppose. I didn't want for today to be a punative measure, its a time out episode, time to reflect take stock and dig out the social stories ... T can experience success but he's so afraid he won't that he doesn't ... making any sense? I love my little boy to bits, but the return to avoidance tactics and manipulation is very sad, as I also know this isn't really T. HHxx

... T's new school have been nothing less than fantastic, they seem to face so much of what T does with a sense of humour and understanding that this is early days. ... Me however, I am reading his home/school book and slowly watching unfold T acting in exactly the same way he was before - swearing, complete oppositional defiance, derupting lessons, destroying his work, etc etc ... This is not due to the way the school are handling him, his TA's are absolutely superb, his SENCO is worth her weight in gold, but T is pushing and pushing. ... He wouldn't swear in front of me or his nan, he does know what he is doing in this department, its like a return of an old T that wasn't very pleasant, only before I knew why he was like this ... or maybe I had my tinted specs on before, only I do know that the new school are currently bending over backwards, sideways and every which way but wednesday to help him, but he is becoming like some spoilt oik that will only do what 'he' wants. ... I'm so sad, I feel that everything has been put in place for him support, understanding etc ... and yet he still reverts to behaviour that he does know caused so many problems before. Had he behaved like he is now is Cornwall he would've been excluded by now. I became a mean Mummy today, I excluded him from school today, saying that if he felt that this was an appropriate way to act in school then he would stay at home with me, you can imagine the screaming abdabs, but I can see the placement slipping away day by day. I am being terribly mean or should I just let his behaviour escalate, I have seen this so many times before, I don't know whether it is a control thing for him even though it goes against what he wants which is to go to school or whether it is just an inability to cope in school. Have I been an evil mum? HHxx

Clarkie, I'm keeping everything corssed for you at the moment, until you know what decisions have been made you can't really move on, but we are all here for you. Is Ben Bradshaw your MP? I have been to see him and he has so far been very helpful, it was his phonecall to the LEA that caused the U-Turn in the transport issue I had with them. I'd be tempted to email him and let him know your story anyway, it takes him a couple of weeks to get back to you, also if you do run into trouble with funding I have a contact at the Express & Echo who would be very interested in your story. This kind of pressure does pay off. HHxx <'> <'>

Hiya Clarkie, my older son A is into BMXing big style, lives it breathes it internets it magazines it and dvds it .... he has started going on a forum about BMXing as well below is the link. http://www.4130community.co.uk/phpbbride/ HTH, hope your Ok, keeping my fingers crossed for your ratification news. HHxx

If you go to my blog (link at the bottom) T's draft statement is on there, there is a lot about behavioural problems in it that are associated to his AS, but T also has significant co-morbidities that also impacts on his learning. T's statement isn't top dollar, but its brilliant compared to his original one, and meant that have been able to access top level funding for him in mainstream. HTH. HHxx

Good Luck for the 5th, <'> <'> HHxx

... after consideration, HH gingerly removes thong and tosses lycra outfit off in place of her other personna ... grabs super human mum and barmaid outfit, heads for the shower and to work at her local. All her customers are completely unaware of her secret double life of krism addiction and bat cave lurking, beneath the benign exterior lurks the truly barking individual that consider sharing cyber curry, wearing lycra, and secretly planning darstadly accidents to members of the LEA .... Have a good night all, just remember next time you venture to your local, that seemingly nice barmaid might be HH ...

HH gingerly treads into the cave ... having been lurking for sometime, and considering the thought of wearing lycra ( ... and pants on the outside .... is this a necessary acompliment to the superhero outfit ... stretches her legs uncomfortably ... deciding maybe a thong was the wrong idea ) having considered the necessary requirements .. confuse, bemuse and amuse decides maybe she can atleast join in with the curry and hoping that some hot totty might come her way ... just remembered it was 'hot toddy' .. oh well, sod it .... reaches for the wine bottle slugs a bigun, belches and reaches for the naan bread ... and you thought HH was such a lady

Hi Nix, what a tricky position you are in, firstly IPSEA's advice is correct if you move boroughs before finalising the statement, the new LEA will make you go through the whole assessment process again. This is why I settled with a less than brilliant statement for T when we were in Cornwall, so as I had something concrete to take to the new LEA, even with this though it has been difficult, but through dogged determination we have managed to get extremely good provision for T, albeit until his AR in January, but I am ready for that battle. Having said this though, T's first statement was about as much use as sun tan cream is to a chronic agrophobic. I didn't know this the first time round, was just so pleased to get it, once I knew more and T was having so many problems, we then went for reassessment, which my EP actually thought was unecessary, when in the end the LEA doubled his provision, and increased loads of information in the statement that had been omitted first time round. EP's are good for their reports, that is their job - to provide advice and recommendations for the LEA, not to try and sabotage you. I would be tempted to not get panicked by the EP's comments, try and remember he is also working for the LEA and therefore is under pressure from another agenda (i.e LEA budgetary requirements). What I can't understand is that if your son already recieves 9000 funding how can be getting the same amount be detrimental to other children with SEN. Money from the statement is paid to the school from the LEA for your child, at the moment it looks like your school are already contributing hugely to his SEN needs from their school action+ budget, infact with designated funds from the LEA they would be better off. The EP should not have said any of this to you, you are entitled to have the statement written in the best and most appriopriate way, and the LEA cannot force you name a school in your area, this is a scaremongering tactic, a ploy to baffle parents and scare them into ignorant compliance. Fortunately, you have here and IPSEA to sound out your concerns, don't let them hood wink you. Also, as your son attends a school with another sibling, this a another strong ground for admission. Your proposed statement should be quantified and hopefully IPSEA will help you through this process, as your son already attends the school which you are going to name this gives you a very strong argumemt for maintaining the placement, and the LEA would have to have extremely good reasons for this move, schedule 27 of the Education Act 1996 supports you with this. Sorry for going on a bit, hope your OK, stick with your instincts and sound it out one here, I'm sure other people with give you some sound advice. HHxx

Was interested in anyones opinion on this sometimes independent service that is meant to be available to parents. I have personally had 2 very different experiences with PPS the first was great and she really did go the extra mile for me, and the second has been terrible, unconfidential, patronising and about as much use as a chocolate teacosy! HHxx