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  1. Heya, first time poster here. I'm a 25 year old American chick who's married to a 28 year old British guy with Aspergers. Ours is a really interesting story; we met online in a chat room when I was 12 and he was 15. We hit it off straight away and were best friends for a couple of years before he came to visit me for the first time. Since then, we've hardly ever been apart - together for over 10 years and married for 5. It's meant me relocating to England, which has been a challenge in itself, and everything was pretty good until he started struggling even more with his AS in recent years... Funnily enough, I didn't even know he had AS until we were engaged, but it's become really, really clear over the years of living together that it's there. Lately, he's struggling in particular with over-sensitivity to noise. Three years ago, we moved out of his parents' house (we'd been living there while I worked on getting my residency visa) because they made too much noise and he felt it was crowded and trapped. We moved into a flat in the city centre of Birmingham, and he was so happy to be independent - until the noises started here too. It started with people playing music, which he complained about and got stopped, but now even people walking around upstairs and the occasional slamming of the communal doors has him acting like a caged animal at times. We argue a lot. When he is unhappy, he makes it very difficult for people around him to be happy, and ironically, I can't even ask him if he's okay because it REALLY bothers him to be asked all the time. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells a lot of the time, and have told him as much, but rather than try to work on the problem with me, he just internalizes all of the blame and closes himself away from me even more because he's a "horrible person" and I "deserve better." Needless to say, his stress is rubbing off on me. I've even started shaking a bit or dropping things a lot, and on top of the social isolation after leaving everything behind in America, I'm finding it more and more difficult to cope as time goes on. It's not ALL bad, and I do love him loads. We're both big kids and have all of the same interests for the most part, and when he's not stressed, he's so much fun to be around. Anyway, I'll leave it there for now. I'm hoping posting here will help me cope with some of my own stress, and maybe get me some much needed advice for the husband. In the meantime, it's nice to meet you all.
  2. I signed in using Facebook which promptly put my full name everywhere, not good.
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