Really bad day

[stressedmumto2]

and I lost it.

 

This week has been hell, on and off but today has topped it.

 

My son was meant to go out with his respite worker for 3 hours today in this time my son goes fishing (his obsesssion). About 40 minutes into me and daughter had been to park and shops having a nice chilled time I get phone call from social worker "can you come back, we have an emergency and need respite worker. Get back home son is fine then as soon as worker goes all hell breaks lose. I get agression, throwing, abuse, doors being kicked in etc so I let him call social worker I thought perhaps she could helphim to deal with it and calm him down, nothing I was doing helped. I know deep down I shouldn't of but I thought well let them listen to this now, my god he gave her an ear bashing. Then he demanded I call his respite worker (I tried to explain it wasn't his fault), when i called him my son wouldn't chat to him but respite worker could hear him charging around the house smashing it up. I am so angry at myself social worker my son, arghhhhh.

 

My son was talking so horrible, it made me frightened saying that he wanted to rip out the boys heart who the respite worker had to go and see, it was awfull. I've never heard my son stay stufflike this before and I haven't got a clue where he has got it from but it's the most awfullstuff I have ever heard him say.

 

God I am so annoyed. The worst bit was when I said to son why didn't you tell the respite worker you was upset he said "cos I would of burst into tears, I was nearly crying in the car on the way home (he loves his respite worker but tonight he's worried about going with him tomorrow cos of how much he was shouting)

 

I feel so bad cos I can see how my son felt but I ended up loosing it with him and shouting at him.

 

Mostly I feel so sad for my son that he just can't handle it when he's let down even when it can't be helped, will he ever accept that these things happen sometimes?

 

Also really peed with son that he hid it to respite worker and made out it was all fine and ok and then I got the backlash.

 

Feeling better now i've got it out but stillsad and angry at myself

[rainbow queen]

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[Bagpuss]

Stressedmum <'> <'> Hope tomorrow goes better and your son enjoys his time with the respite worker... <'>

[stressedmumto2]

Thanks,

 

bagpuss I know he will love it, I really do hope they do not let him down. My son loves going out with respite worker and doing his fishing and I know respite worker was angry about having to bring him back

 

I've txt respite worker to say can we chat before tomorrow, so will talk through concerns with him.

 

I've spoken to son tonight but it's so hard, he's been let down alot in the past by family saying they will do things then not bothering so I told them if they couldn't stick to it not to bother. So now he rarely sees family, if I say I will do something with him for reward I will follow through because I have to so now when things do go wrong and things don't happen he can't accept it.

 

He has understanding of it, like now he's just said "oh yeah like when that person said they would give me �15 and they never" who in their right mind would offer a kid �15 for taking tabs, my sister friend did when my sister looked after him and he still brings it up now. That was about 6 months again but to say we had tantrums over that, it was a nightmare.

 

Is this something asd related, lack of understanding because a asd worker who spent alot of time with him once said she thought he had difficulty processing info and understanding, probs with communication. Noone else could see it though

[Bagpuss]

Stressedmum,

 

Same here. I had to have a quiet word with my mum to explain that she could not, under any circumstances, promise our dd anything which she could not carry thru with, because she'd make flippant remarks about taking our dd places or buying her something, without giving it much thourght and our dd would focus solely on this. She would also say things to her in jest......and our dd took her seriously. My mum took what we said on board and has since been as good as her word and also never says anything as a joke. Our dd would become distraught if she had been promised something and it never materialised.......even the most innocent of things, like pickled onions with her tea.

[Platefull of Love]

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[smallworld]

can I tag along ?

My son had a great day at school today, big , then tonight I left him having a bath ( door open) whilst I tidied up upstairs. Whilst I thought he was just splashing around, he managed to empty three full bottles of shampoo and another of conditioner into the bath to 'make bubbles'

Silly me, I should know better just from the amount of washing up liquid we go through downstairs, I didn't think that he'd made the connection with shampoo cos he hates having his hair washed !

Am sticking to buying supermarket own brand stuff from now on, and will just have to look like 'Crystal Tips' or worse, 'Alistair'

 

wac