Could this be aspergers???

[chrissie]

Hello,i'm new to this site. I am just wondering what anybody with personal experience thinks to this:

I am a nursery nurse so i know a bit about child development and the'norms'. I worked as a nanny for a little boy with aspergers for a couple of years so i also know a little bit about this to. When my daughter was about 8 mths old i began having concerns that something wasnt right,but i could never put my finger on it and whenever i mentioned it to family they all tought i was mad and that she was perfectly 'normal'. These concerns stayed with me but i just put it down to me being a worryer! Something just nagged at me that she might be very mildly autistic. Once she turned two she seemed to become much more sociable and playful so i put it to the back of my mind. She is now two and a half and the other day our health visitor said she wants to reveiw her development,when i asked why she said she has noticed she is very 'concrete' in the way she plays. She suggested aspergers. The thing is, i can totally see where shes coming from, usually when strangers are around, but when she is around family she is very interactive, spontanious, playful, expressive and emotional. She understands evrything people say to her and has conversations with feeling and good eye contact. When i see her like this i wonder what on earth could make anybody think shes 'concrete' in anyway. But there are those times when i notice shes a bit dreamy i supose. Does anybody think this COULD still be aspergers or not? And if it is and its so mild its this questionable what is the point of diagnosing? Any advice or experience would be very helpful, thankyou. x

[Just Jo]

I would say no...... because she has eye contact and expresses her feelings. Let me know how you get on Jo

[Flora]

Hi Chrissie, welcome to the forum

 

It's impossible to comment on your daughter and I certainly wouldn't presume to! However, I can share with you my experience with my 12yo son with Aspergers.

 

From the day he was born I was convinced there was something not right. This stayed with me all through his babyhood, toddler years and early childhood. I was NEVER able to explain this to anyone else, though I certainly did try with various hv's, doctors and paeds. I hadn't even heard of AS so certainly didn't once think of autism. A close friend who is a health visitor once expressed her concern with his social interaction, but after discussion we both just put it down to immaturity. He always stood out in early years settings as socially and emotionally immature; but apart from that his development was spot on and in some areas advanced (especially speech and language).

 

To cut a long story short he was dx aged 8 (almost 9) with Aspergers and dyspraxia. However, even afterwards I sometimes questioned the dx.

 

Now that he's 12, almost 13, it is glaringly obvious that he's different. Children with AS and HFA can often 'blend' in when they are very young, but the differences are often more apparent as their peers develop and become more sophisticated socially.

 

All I can say to you is, keep an eye on your dd and if you continue to have any concerns discuss them further with your hv or GP. It never hurts to keep an eye on any child's development, whether NT, ASD or not!

 

Hope all goes well with your dd; remember, label or no label does not change who she is.

 

Best wishes

 

Flora

[Bagpuss]

Hi Chrissie,

 

If you have any doubts, then it may be worth having your daughter assessed. I've two daughters, my youngest has autism and my eldest aspergers. They are two totally different girls. My eldest has great eye contact with those she knows but with strangers she struggles to look at them. She expresses her feelings, but finds difficulty understanding that telling on her friends or stating the obvious may sometimes hurt their feelings. Her teachers felt she showed no obvious signs of AS...infact the only points they picked up was sometimes she appeared to daydream/be vacant, she was like an old fashioned girl, and would sometimes become distressed is asked to do anything new, even a simple task and she tended to sit out on group discussions and sit at the back etc. Our daughter is very academic, and continually comes top of her class in tests etc, and she is also on the quieter side and sticks rigidly to rules, so I feel from a teachers point of view she a model pupil. We put our heads in the sand for many years regarding our concerns for her, it was easy to do so. Eventually we felt we were doing her no favours by "hoping" she would be ok and went with our gut instinct. We also felt that the difficulties would increase once she began secondary school. She was dx in Aug aged 8. Whatever you decide, good luck and take care.

[LizK]

The problem is at the age of 2.5 yrs there is such a variation in child development. Many children display autistic tendencies especially of the rigid variety between the age of 2-3yrs as normal development but outgrow these. In some children who are developmentally immature these tendencies may last longer. I have a few friends who worried their child was autistic at this age but it was simply developmental immaturity or quirks as thier children now older do not appear to be autistic.

 

The problem is that children with AS also often start showing subtle signs at this age too and I know from personal experience that my son appears less autistic at home with family in familar surroundings. I don't think it would be helpful to comment upon whether your daughter has AS or not as no-one here is in a position to give a proper opinion but I don't think there is any harm the HV keeping an eye on her. Many parents of autistic children find the opposite that HCPs won't take their concerns seriously so it's good that yours is taking an interest.

 

Hope it all works out well for you

 

Liz x

[Tally]

It can't do any harm to go ahead with the assessment. It might reveal something you'd not even considered.

 

Not everyone with Asperger's has all the symptoms, so I don't think you can rule it out yet. The other possibility is that she has some autistic traits, but doesn't meet the full diagnostic criteria.

[cmuir]

Hi

 

My advice is that if you have a hunch, then it's worth looking into. I think you're extremely lucky to have a supportive health visitor ie one that's actually said the 'Aspergers' word! Mine wouldn't hear of it. Yet, despite my HV, GP and Paediatrician telling me there 'definitely not Aspergers', I was proved right eventually. Difficulty I guess is that normally very little is done pre-3 because of normal development milestones which people tend to look for. Certainly, the older my son (he's 5 now) has become, the more obvious things are. In addition, health care professionals seem fixated on ticking boxes - some insist that a child has to lack empathy, have poor eye contact, line toys up, etc. Fact is, not all ASD children are like that. From what you've detailed in your post, I certainly wouldn't be prepared to comment one way or another as to whether or not your child could have an ASD. What I will say is that you act according to your gut feeling! I also think that time will tell. Even if it turns out that your daughter has a mild ASD, then it's definitely worth seeking a diagnosis for lots of reasons - later on down the line, in terms of education, your daughter may need support. Without a diagnosis, you don't get very far. I found that once I got a diagnosis for my son (up until then it was nightmare), that doors suddenly opened.

 

NB: I'm afraid I disagree with Just Jo - my son has variable eye contact (can range from normal eye contact, no eye contact to a fixed stare). You cannot give a diagnosis based on a child ticking every box. Normal children can act a little odd, but it's a combination of lots of things which can help build up a picture of whether a child has an ASD.

 

Best wishes

 

Caroline.

[Nic m]

Hi chrissie,

At the age your daughter is now my daughter was doing things that were quite 'typical' AS traits and i mentioned this to my doctor the hv andthe nursery ,all said wait and see but i dont thinks so.I trained as a nursery nurse too but had changed career by this point i did feel listened too but even at this age my daughter could 'perform'. She met all her milestones was very bright and placid and engaging.This may not sound like typical AS but when i tell you she walked at 9months for me but no-one else saw her walk until 2 weeks before her 1st birthday and only when her aunt caught her in the act was the game up and she then happily walked for everyone! I could tell you lots of stories like that but that was the very first thing i every really took note of as being very different.As others have already said go with your gut instinct i always felt my daughter had AS but I struggled to come to terms with it and worked with her at home on lots of things she struggled with and i felt that if i helped her she wouldn't need a label or a diagnosis. I struggled on for a long time before my daughters world was bigger than me and that is when things became more evident.The nursey she attended was fabulous and worked in a holistic way that suits most children so she was very settled there. School is a very different matter in our case and is why i finally pushed for a diagnosis.Even with a diagnosis they still dont see it but in other aspects of our lives the diagnosis has made a big difference. You will know your child better than anyone and time will tell either way. Good luck and best wishes,

Nicola

[chrissie]

Thankyou everybody for your thoughts on this. I know that obviously nobody can say yes or no for sure but i was interested as to what poeple with experience thought. My dad is a nurse lecturer and is very high up in the huntingdons association so he knows a lot about brain development etc. But when i talk to him he says there is absolutly no way she is in any way autistic. Obviously i respect his opinion but to hear some of you share your experiences when your lo's where this little is very helpful. I consider myself to be a very 'relaxed ' mother and i dont normally over worry,but i just cannot get this out my head!!! When people ask me to explain exactly 'what it is' i actually cant! I guess time will tell. Thankyou. x

[butterfingersbimbo]

good luck if you go ahead with the assessment.....i knew with el that something was different, but she was my fisrt and only and put it down to me being a worryier.....and no one would listen to me!

[UltraMum]

Does anybody think this COULD still be aspergers or not? And if it is and its so mild its this questionable what is the point of diagnosing? Any advice or experience would be very helpful, thankyou. x

 

It's not really up to us to diagnose here !!!! If the issue has been raised and an assessment offered then it could be a good idea to take it up - it would set your mind at rest one way or the other. If things come more apparent later on you may have to wait a long time for an assessment. If your daughter does have AS but it is not intefering with her life in any way then at least you will be able to keep an informed eye on her progress and ring warning bells if necessary at a later stage.

[Bullet]

I realise everybody is different, but this is what I was like as a baby and toddler:

I was very hyperactive and didn't sleep often during the day. I just used to race round the place and my mum was known as "poor Mrs xx " in the neighbourhood as I was such hard work . I would answer questions and could talk before I was three, in full sentences, but I rarely initiated any talking. I like playing with lego and blocks (the lego lasted until I was about 14) but wasn't too fussed about dolls (I did play with dolls when I was a bit older though). I had a really bad temper. There were times (can't remember how frequent but enough for me to remember them) when someone would speak to me or ask me to do something and I would have perfect understanding and want to reply but be unable to get the words out, or be able to do the action.