school

[venus]

Just have to get this off my chest, went to school as normal today,when the bell went I took my son to his classroom as normal where I always go in with him(as most of the parents do) and was stopped at the door by his teacher saying that he had to go in on his own today, so as you can imagine total mayhem then proceeded and my little son was dragged away from me.I was so stunned by it all that I just let him be taken off me,Ifeel like an awful mother.The teacher then asked me was he alright today and I just said it was because he didn't want to go in on his own.Iwas so cross ,why didn't they tell me yesterday they were going to be doing this and then I could have told him last night that he would have to go in on his own.I thught his teacher understood about his autism but obviously not! I am so upset about all of this especially as last night he did a little show for me about his christmas play, he sung the songs beautifully . Do you think I should say something to his teacher or just let it be - any replies appreciated thanks

[anita81]

i would tell thhem your not happy.things like this needs to be done gradually.

[butterfingersbimbo]

tell them, otherwise you will start to feel resentful, and if your son is getting upset you need to be able to discuss this.

[Stephanie]

Tell them! Your son needed to know in advance ... and an explanation from yourself of why he was going in on his own to reassure his anxiety.

 

I would have been livid because I would have wanted to know in advance too! Even a days notice would have been fine.

 

If your son is coping well with going in on his own, I wouldn't make a special effort to phone the school about this problem but I would certainly mention it as his next review or the next time a similar incident occurs. If he isn't coping however, I would make sure you tell them straight away and insist on taking him in.

[oxgirl]

I agree with the others, Venus. Have a quiet word with the teacher, maybe try to keep it low key and just explain that if there are changes like that in future you'd appreciate being warned about them in advance so that you can prepare your son because it was a bit of a shock for you both.

 

Good luck.

 

~ Mel ~

[venus]

Thanks for replies, after I had calmed down I decided not to say anything to the teacher this time.If she mentions it I will just explain how hard he finds it to suddenly have to do something different at such short notice. He was okay today as the classroom has two doors and we went in the door were she wasn't standing- I noticed quite a few other parents doing this also so I am not the only one.

[Cat]

If you were trying to park your car and someone made you get out while they parked it for you would you 1) get out in the first place or 2) just say nothing get out and let them park your car?

 

Clearly they have no understanding about the condition and need to be challenged now and not when all trust in them - as far as your son in concerned has gone. What they did this morning is cruel and I would not condone it. Unless of course the other parents all have children with ASD to.

 

Cat

Edited November 30, 2006 by Cat

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I think if this was going to happen you should have been forewarned. May seem trivial to her (because she knows nothing of autism), but the simplest of changes can result in a full blown tantrum which is upsetting for everyone mainly your son. She needs to be made aware of this - you're not nit picking just educating! Would it have really 'hurt' to have allowed you to accompany your son to his classroom. Sounds like your little fella is a little star for singing his little heart out.

 

C.

[venus]

hi everyone, you have all changed my mind and I will have a nice but quiet word with the teacher. Teachers and some other parents probably do think it is a trivial thing to get worked up about but to me and my son it is certainly not trivial. I am so new to all of this (autism and dealing with school) that I think I am going to have to learn pretty quickly. This was also the teacher who put in his IEP that we should make Owen choose what he wants to eat for tea and expect him to eat it ! HA HA very funny I thought, I've been trying for 5 years to get him to eat more , anyway the EP came to school the next day and told her to take it off the IEP!

[loupin]

Definately have a word, maybe go armed with some reading material about autism and kindly say that it has helped you to understand about autism and you thought they may be interested!! I've done that in the past and my sons teachers have been very responsive. I think a lot of teachers proclaim to have a good knowledge of autism but really they know the very basics which is not enough when they deal with our children all day.

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