Received Assement forms from social services yesterday

[fiorelli]

on the whole, they are pretty good, with the social worker saying that there were no concerns over parenting, but that myself and husband were no longer able to cope with Louis's 'behaviours' (my word), but that we were willing to accept any help, and have asked NAS for befriending, and NCH for mentoring (for siblings). It was also noted that we need to make sure that the others don't copy any of Louis's behaviours, and that we need to make sure that we are giving equal time to the kids (fair points in my opinion).

 

There was only really one bit that has really p'ed me off with the forms, and that is Louis's school's thoughts...basically, they are saying that they have given us strategies to use, but that we haven't followed through with them, that we are really negative towards Louis (don't know where they have got from, other than the meeting we had with them to ask for their help in managing Louis's undesirable behaviours, what with them being and EBsD school, we thought they may have some different strategies), basically they were saying that we are sh!te parents and Louis's problems are because of us.

 

 

I am beginning to hate this school with a passion!

[cmuir]

Hi

 

It really annoys me that schools add to difficulties and stresses instead of trying to help. It's a hard fact that unfortuntely there are some professionals be it health of educations ones who haven't a clue. The thing to remember is that they don't see what goes outwith school! Sounds like you've got a good social worker.

 

Chin up.

 

Caroline.

[fiorelli]

Oh, and another thing they (the school said) They were "surprised to hear the extent of Louis's behaviours at home, because in School, there has been no signs of violence at all". This from a school that TOLD ME in the beginning, that the children that go there are usually fine while in school, and get worse at home!

 

Sorry, this has really got my back up.

 

It may sound absolutely awful, but I really hope that Louis has a meltdown in school soon. Maybe, just maybe, they may start believing what we have been telling them!

[oxgirl]

It may sound absolutely awful, but I really hope that Louis has a meltdown in school soon. Maybe, just maybe, they may start believing what we have been telling them!

 

I can understand exactly why you'd feel that way, it's just so frustrating when you are telling people about something and, because they haven't seen it with their own eyes, they don't believe you! Sometimes the only way is for them to see it for themselves. <'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[Suze]

<'> I can understand why you are angry, I did,nt like the sound of the school when they gave you that parenting questionaire.........................tread carefully hunni <'>

[loulou]

Oh, and another thing they (the school said) They were "surprised to hear the extent of Louis's behaviours at home, because in School, there has been no signs of violence at all". This from a school that TOLD ME in the beginning, that the children that go there are usually fine while in school, and get worse at home!

 

Sorry, this has really got my back up.

 

It may sound absolutely awful, but I really hope that Louis has a meltdown in school soon. Maybe, just maybe, they may start believing what we have been telling them!

 

 

Hi Fiorelli,

 

I can totally understand how you feel about this too. I was so relieved when Kai kicked off in school, because then they knew i wasn't lying. His behaviour is pretty good at school (his teacher calls him Mr Perfect), but thankfully they are well aware that children like him can cope at school but not at home (he goes to an EBD school too).

 

I don't blame you for being annoyed with them. I think they've been pretty two-faced in what they have said. Are you going to talk to them about this? (I think i would).

 

Loulou xx

[CarerQuie]

That ticks me off.SS asked us why,when the School didn't have any problems,we did.

 

I just replied that I don't think the School are in my house when he is climbing the walls at midnight!!!xx

[fiorelli]

Hi all, thanks for replying.

 

I suppose I am really lucky in that because my social worker is a shared carer of a child with 'classic' autism, she knows about the way that children with ASD 'work', so she isn't bothered about what the school have said.

 

I have also been talking with a friend who used to work in a care home, and has knowledge of children on the spectrum, and she has said that she isn't at all surprised, both about what Louis is like in school, and the school's reaction. She said that in ALL the Children that she looked after in the care home, whenever they started a new school, everything was all hunky dory for the first 3/4/5/6 months, and then things let rip. She said that Louis would do this to, - my answer to her? I hope he does it big time!

 

I don't know whether I will speak to the school. I think I should really, especially as they are using the fact that we asked them for help against us. Will definately think twice before doing that again! It's quite 'funny' really, before Christmas, not a day went by without a phonecall about one thing or another from the school. We are now 2 weeks into the term, and I haven't heard from them once, so they can't be that concerned about his welfare now can they?!

 

hmmm, this whole thinks stinks, and I can't wait until it is over...

[Deedee]

Oh, and another thing they (the school said) They were "surprised to hear the extent of Louis's behaviours at home, because in School, there has been no signs of violence at all". This from a school that TOLD ME in the beginning, that the children that go there are usually fine while in school, and get worse at home!

 

Sorry, this has really got my back up.

 

It may sound absolutely awful, but I really hope that Louis has a meltdown in school soon. Maybe, just maybe, they may start believing what we have been telling them!

 

Fiorelli I could have written the exact same thing,sadly our school has the same attitude..My son kicks off the minute he comes out the doors.I wish I could take one of his teachers home with us one day so they can see whats its really like..

I've been following your story and just wanted to say hope things start to look up for you soon <'>

[fiorelli]

That's just it Deedee, they are looking up, since we had the CAMHS appointment and Louis's meds were changed, his anger and aggression is under control. So the problems we were having are no longer as big as they were. So in that respect (the bit that was really getting us down) things are really looking up.

 

It's just this useless school, but they are keeping themselves to themselves so far this term, long may it continue!

[Deedee]

Glad to hear it We always seem to lurch from one crisis to another LOL getting one thing sorted out often triggers a problem with something else but this past year I finally feel things are starting to fall into place.It just annoys me that we all have so much to deal with as it is we often haven't the time or the strength to keep fighting for everything.Don't even start me on the subject of school..