Kafkaesque night mare ,I feel I'm going mad

[florrie]

I went to see the psychiatrist, last time was 7 years ago an they did not believe i had asd and i had been struck of gp list after suicide attempt, my suicide attempt was an acucumulation of misunderstandings and also trying to get my son the support he needed and he had a breakdown due to bullying and that was also ignored. I was also tryaing to come off seroxat at the time as I didn't feel it helped, any way 7 years later I have a dx of asd, a test of mixed receptive expressive language disorder, a letter from a famous professo acknowledging my difficulties, and that they are severe but masked,i have a really delayed processing problem and everything comes out jumbled and when i try ot organise it gets even more jumbled. although it makes sense to others it is never quite what i'm attempting to say and it makes me frustrated, and then i sound whingey when i feel i'm cracking up, I also have episodes that are bordering on some kind of borderlline psyhchosis state where the anxiety builds up and i go into melt down, and the last one lasted 7 weeks over christmas, my ex partner can't cope with it or helping me when like this so it is in my best interests not to get like this in order to keep that support, and i try my best by avoiding everything that causes anxiety

 

I have 3 professors acknowledging my difficulties 2 agreed to see me on NHS but they were blocked, so I went to local mental health team, but he tried to exclude my ex partner from interview process when that has gone so wrong in the past, he said i was understanding perfect well and didn't have the comprehension of a 5 year old as i understood him, so i showed him a letter i have from a famous professor explaining this but he was just looking for reasons to discrdiet why i have an an asd, when i=he found out i liked animals he de=cided that definitely wasn't autistic, the fact that i had interests also meant i wasn't autistic, although they are obssessive interests, and i read 2000 text books a year i know an awful lot about a topic including asd, he didn't examine my mental health needs and wouldn't let Ken describe them, reccomended a higher dose of the Seroxat, when i had severe reactions to them in the past. He asked me if I felt miserable but I kind of went of on a tangent cos I;m scared to tell them because last time they struck me off

 

I can't help feeling he may suggest in his report that ken is causing my anxiety, I sensed that was where he was coming from in order to exclude him from process, as all my dx and letters have come from Ken's intervention

 

What is happening I feel as if I'm going mad, this is a kafkaesque nightmare to which there is no end,what can i do I feel that I am being stitched up, and i can't understand why, all i wanted was for my son to have difficulties dealt with and mine to be understood and the trauma i feel ican't describe.

 

A professor who understand my difficulties agreed to see me on NHS but it was turned down due to funds, what can I do they are ignoring all the information they are given and it has taken 7 years to have to corage to go back. can I complain and who too, the problem is one gp said my suicde attempts were because i wanted to harm doctors, and i don't i just want these difficulties acknowledged

Edited February 2, 2007 by florrie

[pumpkinpie]

Hi Florrie last night I SAw a panarama programme about how seroxat can exacerbate suicidal and mental health problems so the fact you are taking it is worrying!

Would the charity mind be able to offer advocacy advice? It seems to me you need someone who will help advce you and complain about the funding probelma - the guy you saw looks like a plonka to me and could easily do more harm than good. In our area I KNOw there is an advocacy service I am sure there is something similar in your area

Take care

[florrie]

Hi Florrie last night I SAw a panarama programme about how seroxat can exacerbate suicidal and mental health problems so the fact you are taking it is worrying!

Would the charity mind be able to offer advocacy advice? It seems to me you need someone who will help advce you and complain about the funding probelma - the guy you saw looks like a plonka to me and could easily do more harm than good. In our area I KNOw there is an advocacy service I am sure there is something similar in your area

Take care

 

Thank you pumpkin pie, for your support, i do have my ex partner on side to a certain degree, so i gues s that is an advocate, i have tried to get an advocate via NAS and MIND and RETHINK and everywhere else i can think of some people don't even reply, although i am grateful for those that do mind being one of the best as well as NAS, RETHINK did not reply and I wrote twice, I Just go round and round in circles and end up where i started , I guess there is nothing ican do except try and understand why people or the system are like this, but thank you it means a lot that you responded to my post

Edited February 3, 2007 by florrie

[pumpkinpie]

It makes me so cross when people dont have the curtosty to ring you back!!!!!!!

Do you have a local asd group or carers resourse centre you maybe able to put you in touch with someone? <'>

[bid]

So sorry to hear of all your difficulties, Florrie

 

Bid <'>

[florrie]

Thanks guys