minerva Report post Posted February 11, 2007 So...Cameron was away this weekend at Grandads (thank goodness) I was just tidying up their room as I was putting my youngest to bed & I noticed that Cameron had snuck some money from his bank account and bought himself a mic for his laptop.... It's his bday next week so above all else he knows he isn't to buy anything even if for that purpose only! But he knows he isn't to take money out until he's told me what he wants to buy & i;ve agreed. So, he gets home from Grandads & I said..... "Cameron, While I was tidying up your bedroom I had to pack your laptop away. Do you have any idea what I might have found that I shouldnt have" His head goes down & he says "The Videos" OMG my 12 yo kid has been dl'ing porn!! I don't even know where to start on this one! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted February 11, 2007 Ditto Minerva I'm pretty open minded, but was really surprised to discover what our ds 13 had been viewing online. He has shown no interest in girls, and is happy covered in muck playing footie, so it came abit of a shock. We had a "chat" with him, and bless him, he was so embarrassed. I think the thought that we had seen what he'd been viewing was enough to nip it in the bud, and the fact we were very open and honest about it, without making it seem something to be ashamed of. We were more concerned about his age, and made that clear. TBH if the internet had been about when I was that age, I'd of had a sneaky look, but he doesn't know that! You can get parental controls to bar certain sites etc, HTH and take care. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loupin Report post Posted February 11, 2007 I think you should smile first of all as this is perfectley normal behaviour for a lad that age!!! Have a chat and then put more security on his laptop!!! I have 3 sons and i dread this day coming!!!! their father assures me that all boys do it so we have to keep an eye on what they are doing but give them the space to "normally" develop!( don't very often get the opportunity to use the word NORMAL)!!!!!!!! Good luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lynyona Report post Posted February 11, 2007 This is a problem i have also had with our son but he is now approaching 21 but i still find it unacceptable as the desktop is a family computer,we have passworded both the desk top and laptop and he can only go on them supervised now.He always gave it away what he was watching by either shutting the door or turning the screen off and seeing our computers in the hall where people pass through all the time this wasnt very wise.We had a parental control on but we found that it blocked to many sites so we took it off.I know its only natural for a boy of his age but i think he isnt really mature enough to understand about these sites and also theyre are a virus paradise.But it is a worry. lynn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Katiebell Report post Posted February 12, 2007 This issue cropped up in our house too just this weekend! My 13 year old didn't realise that even if he cleared his internet searches, his dad could still tell what he had been looking at!! We just smiled. I'm more concerned about computer viruses and stumbling across child porn accidently. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted February 12, 2007 I had a similar problem with my son when I noticed the sites he had been watching on the PC. He was embarrassed and didn't want to talk about it. I tried not to make a fuss and avoided causing him feelings of guilt as it is part of a boy's normal development, but I tried to explain to him that there's also a lot of rubbish in the internet which is really not worth looking at and that it can be easy to get unwanted (and even illegal) pictures in the PC. He understands that pretty well, but he's very curious about sex like all boys at that age. Parental controls don't work on the other hand, I've tried them but because he likes to search a lot on the internet he keeps getting a sign saying "You're not allowed to watch this page" every time he clicks on a new link, and then he screams asking for my permission. So I just have to be "open minded" about this, but keeping an eye on what he's been watching... Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paula Report post Posted February 12, 2007 (edited) Had to smaile also at this one My 13 year od aspie son was viewing pornography on the internet and we knew sod all about it we thought he was on cbbc coz he seams so innocent................ His dad found him out and we said hey up yer mucky begger.his sister said he was a perveret...shes 15......we just kinda laughed it of after all we were kinda gratefull coz its normal teenage boy behaviour we even joked and thought least its hetrosexual coulda been blokes in dress or animal........ I put a block on the sites and lowered his age limit thingy it did the trick Recently i upped him to a mature teen and said i hope yer aint gonna be viewing women and bare bodies and had to laugh when he said dead straight faced......."rest assured im a reformed charector" Aspies yer gotta love em. I hope youre son reforms himsen also Edited February 12, 2007 by Paula Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
minerva Report post Posted February 12, 2007 well we kinda had a lil chat about it in the car on the way home from school..... I asked him what it feels like to think about his mum having Sex....... he said "OMG EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" and I told him thats how it feels to think of him looking at that stuff on the net, we had a lil laugh about it lol had to tell him its even worse than imagining my parents at it! I think he wanted to throw up LOL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paula Report post Posted February 12, 2007 Hell be scared for life minerva.................... I tell yer what makes mind boggling reading me Nt teenage daughters msm conversations to her mates.bloomeing heck she once didnt realise all chats were being logged i stumbled upon them and had a nose it were all sex,lads privates and what theyd like to do to blokes they fancied on the tv.this was a 15 year old.all i said to her were make sure yer switch of yer chat log thingy.should have seen the look on her face when she knew id sticky beaked............Yer get yer little bit of fun and revenge any way yer can mines to cause maximum embarresment for the kids.......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
witsend Report post Posted February 12, 2007 Ooh, what a relief to read these posts! Thought my son was the only one doing this! Think we've stopped it for now, because as others have said viruses are a big problem and now we've explained that (and he knows we know what he's been looking at!) he seems to have stopped it. It's funny because in one way I do smile to myself thinking he's acting like a "normal" boy of that age but also I worry about what he may see /stumble across on the internet that is not within "the norm"! I must admit at first I was a bit shocked thinking he was a bit young (12) to be interested in this sort of thing, but then when I cast my mind back to when I was that age I realized he isn't! I suppose it's nothing new just a newer more accessible format? Still all a bit scary though knowing they are growing up eh? Luv Witsend. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
minerva Report post Posted February 13, 2007 All I was interested in at 12 was erm, nothing! lol After 13 it was Ice Skating or nothing, and I never did understand the facsination in boys (that hasnt changed too much either lol) So to think of him ewwwwwwwwww cant even say it LOL He's been banned from the laptop since so as soon as I'm able to talk about it with him without puking I'll get the laptop back out & I guess i'm gonna need to clean it up. He'll have to help me so he can see what he's done to his �400 piece of machinery!! I'm kinda hoping that will do it, for now at least lol Thanks for all your replies, I really did think he was too young but it seems its the norm. As said before, i'm not used to having the norm with him lol Nicke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lucas Report post Posted February 14, 2007 What I found most strange about porn was that it didn't appear to do what it is physically supposed to, I was actually 'turned off' whenever I've seen it. For a while I thought I was supposed to like it because school friends talked like they did and I thought there was something wrong with me. I was glad to hear from a friend it was more morbid curiosity than physical attraction, which also explains how short ugly middle-aged porn stars like Ron Jeremy become rich. The big worry about internet porn is that even on free-access websites, there is firstly the slight risk of being exposed to illegal and corrupting images of child porn and the *huge* risk of viruses, spyware, adware and malware downloading to your computer as it is those websites which are littered with them. Con-men and fraudsters that use technology to extort money on the internet do so mainly through free porn downloads containing trojans. Firewalls don't stop trojans and anti-virus service providers can take weeks before identifying and applying a solution to new trojans. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted February 16, 2007 If you search for "anti porn software" there are lots of programmes that one can download and try out for some time before registering. Or take a look at this one which only filters porn and you can adjust the settings: http://www.tueagles.com/anti-porn/ (hope it's OK to post the link ) Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
