peppa Report post Posted February 19, 2007 Im so wound up and confused one minite dp supports my concerns and agrees that dd has difficulties/ impairments in areas the next minite he says that she's just been a 3 1/2 yr old and that im looking into things to much! Its really getting me down as i dont know if i have his support or not. Think he may be doing it as a coping mechanism, as he is in denial. He also keeps saying that she is capable of the behaviours that myself and school have highlighted significant deficits in! Im concerned that if he behaves like this at peadiatrician appointment they won't take us seriously and will just think im a neurotic mum!!!!! School and the portage team have seen enough evidence to warrant refering her to SALT, ED psyc, O.T so surely he can't deny there is issues. Feeling utterly confused as now im starting to doubt myself, then i go back and look at the lists of concerns i made ( 4 A4 pages) and the list school have made and i know im right to be concerned and push for what i know my dd needs. This forum has been a godsend as i feel you cant often understand unless you live it 24/7. DP only spends max of 1hr a day with dd due to work. Ive had concerns of something not quite right since dd was approx 18mnth but she did show behaviour that was odd before then which i have later found to be relevant to asd. Any advice on how to explain to dp and help him understand and come to terms with dd's potential disabilities would be greatly recieved. x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mbrown Report post Posted February 20, 2007 Peppa, you are right to be concerned if that is what you believe. I hoep that you do get your partner on board and fully behind you. I know of partners that do not accept that there is anything wrong, even after diagnosis, and continue to feel that way as their child goes from childhood into adulthood. No one wants their child to have a problem but wishing that doesn't make it go away. Your partner should be backing you 100%. Let the doctor make the diagnosis and take it from there. Good Luck MB Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted February 20, 2007 peppa,i think we know our children better than anyone,we know if theres a problem,go with how you feel,i wish i had gone with my feelings years ago instead of me listening to people who said steven was ok. <'> <'> good luck love hev xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bullet Report post Posted February 20, 2007 Any good assessor will realise that your child needs to be seen several times, in different environments to get an accurate description. Ask your dp if he can provide examples of when your dd has done things he says she can do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peppa Report post Posted February 21, 2007 Thanks for the replies guys, xxx Dp is still undecided but im sticking with my gut instincts. Hev, like you say we know our kids best. Were having a meeting at school on tuesday, a chance for everybody involved to get together and share concerns and strategies. Im hoping when dp hears it from someone other than myself he may take things on board. Still waiting for appointment date with peadiatrician, but trying to get as much evidence together as possible, people have suggested video recording, so going to scour old recordings and leave camera on standby!! Just wondered how many others children line things up, and what age it began? Dd now does this, but i've only noticed it within last couple of months, she's now 3yrs 8mnths. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted February 21, 2007 Peppa, my lad is 13 now, but I remember very well being in exactly the same position as you are in now. I just KNEW there was something not right, but my hub just was too afraid to face it and would not discuss it or even entertain the idea. When I got the Attwood book, he refused to read it and when I finally confronted him he ran upstairs crying and admitted that he was terrified to find out the truth and what it would mean for our son and also what he might find out about himself. I think it might just take your partner some extra time to accept the possibility and to come to terms with it and admit it to himself, but once he takes it on board I hope that he turns out to be as understanding a dad as my hub has. <'> <'> Good luck with your appointments. <'> <'> ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peppa Report post Posted February 21, 2007 Thanks loads oxgirl. Ive also got books, tried to get him to look on the net etc, but he refuses to look until she is given a diagnosis. He adores dd and i think its took him by suprise, as with her being so intelligent he didn't think it feasible. There are concerns about his sisters son (5), who displays more behaviours than dd, but as of yet his sister is also refusing to accept things,despite proffesionals mentioning asd, luckily his mum is begining to realise the relevance to asd and is fighting his corner and being very supportive with my dd also. Glad your dh came round, its so frustrating aint it when you feel made to look like a neurotic mum! Thanks again for your support, sending loads of hugs your way x <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted February 21, 2007 My DH was the same - what made him realise was when J went to a birthday party when he was in reception - it was one of those who invited the whole class - all the other children were watching the entertainer and listening to him while J was crawling up and down a shaft of sunlight on the floor. He will come round ... just takes time - perhaps he just feels that he needs to hear it 'officially' - we're all different. <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
