Could problems at home cause this

[hedders]

Could problems at home or parenting cause these in children

Speech and language delay in early childhood

Social communication diffculties

Diffulties with using correct words in sentences (like dyspraxia of speech traits) unclear speech

Poor visual awareness

Suspected SID and traits of dyspraxia

Obsessions, rituals, routines,

 

The school refuse to accept the above and now trying to indicate that problems at home are the cause, as she seems fine in school, how can i overcome what they are trying to say to certain professionals.

 

I also have a younger dd who displays palila, echolia and making slow progress with language skills

Obsessions, rituals, poor imagination play and repetitive play, poor social interaction, social communication diffculties she been under a slt for a yr who i told a yr ago i knew what she had, and is in a special needs nursery, they have been very supportive.

Edited April 3, 2007 by hedders

[MichelleW]

I believe it is possible that parenting problems "may" cause some of these problems in certain situations. I have seen on a certain TV programme evidence that a mother who insisted on a perfectly clean house and a perfectly clean child (and spends so much time cleaning that she does not play with child) caused the child to exhibit signs, which in my opinion appeared autistic. i.e. would not eat any foods which were not dry finger food - did not like having messy hands and would line up all his cars in rows and became extremely anxious when they were touched or if they were messed up. He would also become extremely anxious during "messy" play. My first though was that he could be autistic.

 

However, I did not see any evidence of dispraxia or social communication difficulties, or lack of imagination which is often seen in autism, and used for diagnosis.

 

I must admit that I do have days myself when I feel guilty about not spending more time in "structured" play with my children. My youngest is not showing all signs of autism but is non verbal and I have had comments like " have you tried talking to him more"!!!.. However, I look at my house and it is a tip - I don't spend all my time doing housework, though I do work. I look at my youngest when he has yoghurt in his hair and all down his clothes and total smothered in food and do not get stressed or rush to clean him. My eldest who is autistic hated having anything on his fingers and wouldn't eat anything that didn't feel right - but I don't believe his symptoms are down to me - I'm not obsessed with him being clean.

 

You know that it not your parenting skills that are the problem - there is an official diagnosis that covers "all" the symptoms and the school is out of order to even suggest that parenting is the problem. Do you have an official diagnosis in writing? If you do then the school have to take notice and should apologise for their comments. I'd be really angry if J's school made any suggestion like that.

 

That's my opinion anyway.

[hedders]

No diagnoses yet, its because she gets restless in unexpected changes which has been observed by pead and ot but she doesnt act this way in school and is very quiet so they say she doesnt have a problem in school so its home life.

They honestly have no knowledge on ASD

There is a boy in dd class and under cahms team he has behavioural and emotional diffculties they tried the same with his mum blaming the fact she was a single parent. Cahms indicating he might have AS school refuse to accept this, i feel sorry for her, her son needs help.

I witnessed him being kept in a playtimes as a punishment for hurting children as he doesnt understand playing, i saw him in school the other day sat facing a wall for doing something wrong in class. And yesterday he was told to stand at the back of a queue at hometime as he opened the door looking for his mum when the bell went.

[MichelleW]

I guess I am very lucky that J is in a good school with staff who have experience with ASD and recognised his needs even before an official diagnosis was obtained when he was 4 and a half. I think if I had observed something like that at J's school I would look into ways of reporting the school to someone (not sure who as I haven't been in this situation) and I would also look into changing schools as soon as possible. I am just thankful that J is in a very good mainstream primary school who recognise the needs of a variety of special needs. I think it doesn't help that it takes so long for child to receive a diagnosis - I knew J was autistic from about 2, but he didn't get what I considered a "correct" diagnosis until he was over 6. I think it is terrible that some teachers still think that there isn't a problem just because a child is passive at school. J has only just started to be disruptive at school with his stimming, but even though they have observed him being "aggresive" to me as soon as he walks out the classroom door, they never suggested it was a parenting problem.

Edited April 3, 2007 by MichelleW

[butterfingersbimbo]

is it just me, but since when did schools become qualified to diagnose children?????????? or able to decide if a parent is causing a child mental harm like your school is inferring???????

[dooday24]

they put all reeces problems down 2 my parenting skills i had 2 go on a 16 week parenting course before they would refer him 2 a psychologist. now hes been diagnosed with a asd behavoural problems and learning difficulties at the end of the day we know our children best, it has been a long fight but it is worth it we r fighting 4 our children, good luck hope u get things sorted soon love donnaxxxx

[carrieq]

I think blaming the parents is a quick knee jerk reaction by schools to pass the blame back and it really annoys me. We have been in the same kind of situation with ds and the root of his behaviour is not me rather the fact he hates school but blaming the parents shifts the focus from them. Sorry it is something that really bugs me that extra stress and guilt is put on us at a time when we least need it. I attended a parenting course and as they said it wasn't aimed at children with ASD so was of no help!!!

 

No help what so ever but just stand your ground, they are not the diagnostic experts,

 

Carrie

[Bullet]

Go back to the school and ask them exactly how your dd is at school. Don't let them get away with "she's fine" or "she has no problems" ask them what she's like. Sometimes teachers can equate "quiet", for example with "therefore, no real troubles for the school to deal with" and consequently "no problems". If your dd is at primary school the signs may be more subtle in a small school environment but they could still be there.

[hedders]

Ive just started a diary about how she is before and after school, this is now becoming there problem too (the phase they use)

2 weeks ago she mentioned about a disagreemnet with her best friend but also said a teacher told her to stop copying others work.

I didnt link it together but she started to get very distressed going into class, crying wanting to go home and chasing after me( out of character) this was happening for over a week.

Today she came out of class moody said teacher told her to stop copying and to prounounce w sounds at table. That all she said, in the car she wanted me to but her some crayons straight away and because i didnt she had a major outburst crying screaming trying to kick the window, i think its because she is finding the work really diffcult she cant remember instructions and tries to copy others work.

No point speaking to teachers they dont understand what i say and says the work isnt diffcult.

So i will keep a diary and present it to pead and ot

Went to the gp today telling him what the school are now doing, told me to take no notice but i need to speed up her next app with pead to record her playskills, said your not abusing or neglating them just a concerned parent said if pead app takes too long he will write to school insisting assessment with ed spy.

Edited April 3, 2007 by hedders

[peppa]

Really feel for you and what a battle you seem to be up against with this school!

It sounds like they are being really neglectful of your childs needs, reading this thread it sounds like they have a really can't be bothered kind of attitude and could therefore be neglecting the needs of other children also.

I would be extremley tempted to contact OFSTED with your concerns, so that any problems can be assesssed and dealt with, as it seems there has been some very unfair treatment of your child and others.

 

To blame your parenting skills sounds like a cop out for their shortfalls, as it sounds like they can be rather unwilling and supportive of strategies you put in place, i.e diary.

 

Have you spoke to the school headteacher or are they equally unsupportive.

 

I hope you have more luck in the future and your child gets the support and understanding she deserves.

 

Sorry if i seem to have got on my soap box (metaphorically) but it really upsets me to hear of a child suffering at others ignorance and highlights the need for schools to have a better understanding of ASD.

 

Loadsa luv peppa x

[hedders]

Headteacher is the worst of them all, i hear so many stories of what she is like and witnessed a few, her attitude is very degrading. Senco hasnt a clue about anything she talks alot of nonsense, her teacher however is a bit better but she wont say anything more as the senco and head have spoken to her about me.

I dont think the proffess believe everything i have said about the school they always seemed quite shocked and the cahms team involved with the boy in dd class have written to the head telling her to stop casting her views as none of them have any training in this field and shouldnt be making judgments.

[LizK]

Are they suggesting an attachment disorder as that can present with pseudoautism?

 

Lx