dont know where to put this

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

we dont have them too much now thank god, but when we do they are really really bad and violent

our last one has left both me and hubs ( brick sh%thouse size) pretty beat up.

a mate came to try and help and she called out of hours docs, who told us to call police

i think she wanted something like valium just to calm place down ( not for me lol!)

so in the aftermath debrief, we have worked out that we can call on no one in situations like that, cahms shuts at 5 gps are scared ( fair enough cos i was) gp knew very quickly what had happened lol

would ss have helped?

at this point i feel the need to be on the phych out of hours books,

what do you do how do u deal

cos i am scared, one cos i not want to call police on my 12 year old, but if hubs had not been here would i be typin this?

and what for the rest of life?

sorry to seem so grim, but this is really getting me down nows

x

[dooday24]

i have no advice sorry but sending u loads of these <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> that is something that allways worries me about reece at the moment hes only 6 but has lots of melt downs, can just about cope with it but end up battered and bruised, but dont know wat i will do as he gets older, it is unfair that the support is not there. hope u get the help he needs soon good luck love donnaxxxxxxxxx

[curra]

Hi Lya,

 

I know where you're coming from. When M gets meltdowns or anger fits they usually happen at weekends or in the night so there's no one I can ask for help. Like you I prefer not to call the police so I just have to deal with the situation on my own the best I can. But if things got too violent, I think I'd have no other choice than phoning the police of course mentioning on the phone that the young person in question has an ASD. This should make a difference in the way the police handle the situation.

 

These are some of the things I do to calm him down:

- avoid confrontation and let him have his way as much as possible during the meltdown. Once the meltdown is over I talk to him in a calm way and if he did something bad and he understands why it was bad, then there's a sanction like getting less allowance or doing a chore.

- during the tantrum if he accepts it , I give him melatonin (that usually calms him down in a few minutes)

- I try to divert his attention to something that he likes, for example a PC game

- I don't use physical restrain (anymore) because he's much taller and stronger than me, but as soon as he's calming down I give him a hug to reassure him that I love him and it's only the behaviour that I dislike.

 

Surgeries have emergency phone numbers and it's also possible to ask for medical advice in such cases. I called them once and they said that they could send an emergency psychiatrist who would sedate my son but I prefered not to. So far I've been able to deal with it somehow, but the option is there. Whether it's better than the police I don't know.

 

The NAS has very good information on strategies for anger management in their website which I think might help you.:

 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp...amp;Submit=+Go+

 

If it's a consolation it does get better as they grow and mature.

 

Curra XX

[hev]

ive realised theres no one i can call on to help when steve gets violent,called cahms once but they said they dont do emergency visits!!steve called the police on me last time god,i felt awful,so ive realised theres no one to call

[smiley]

<'>

 

Scary isn't it.... .

M's only eight, but he's a big lad and when he's in a complete meltdown, i can't manage him - god knows what i will do when he's older.

I don't know the answer

 

<'>

[curra]

Lya,

 

I've sent you a PM.

Here's the link to the Help! 2 seminars run by the NAS:

 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=217&a=10897

 

 

I've been to 2 of them and they give useful information and practical strategies.

 

Curra

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

thanx for info

nowt round here

sorry Hev <'>

[Bambi]

Awww hun <'> ><

 

I can understand and yes its very scarey, i am very scared of my son (age 6) and i have told professionals this for a long time but they dont have no answers or help for me. Is ur son on medication? T is now on risperidone and is a lot better but his anger and violence is still there and what worries me is when he is bigger and older, will he do me some real harm or himself? who knows and then we ask who cares?

 

Hope u get some help.

 

Bambi x

[purplegail]

Hi

 

I know exactly how you feel. It doesn't happen as often now but when Laura has a meltdown it's a bad one and she is now 15 and much bigger than me!!!

 

GP never wants to know

SS never want to know

Police? - like you, I can,t bring myself to call them. I did actually ring to speak to them once to discuss what would happen if I did. They would arrest her and take her to the cells!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

So - there is nothing and no one to help. How can that be right???

 

They are children who need medical help and we are families who need respite and useful advice on how to deal with them.

 

I would love to hear from anyone who has recieved this.

 

Thinking of us all. Gail

[Elefan]

Hi all,

 

I can completely relate to this. Who do we call when things have got sooooo bad????

 

My 10 yr old is out of control. Her rages are the worste we have ever seen. She bites herself constantly the rest of the time to punish herself for what she has done during them. Nothing and no-one is out of limits when she blows and they last literally for hours.

 

She has been out of school for almost 4 months now and has had Generalised Anxiety Disorder added to her ASD, ODD, OCD,...

 

There is no respite and the situation takes a huge toll on her twin and the rest of the family.

 

I feel we are reaching a crunch time and decisions will be made for us regarding her future. It is desperate when we are powerless to halt the path of self-destruction she seems to be on.

 

She refuses all attempts to help her from Psychologists who try to see her weekly, and Psychiatrists. The trouble is, everyone says the right things and are frustrated they can't 'reach' her,... but inside I am screaming for someone to do something, before someone/something snaps!!!

 

Would love to hear if anyone has had any success getting sedation from a professional for an extreme rage,...

 

Good luck and you are not alone.

 

Elefan

[curra]

Hi,

 

I don't know if this would help, but if you get a Carer's assessment with an action plan, one of the needs that is discussed in the questionnaire is what to do and who to contact in a crisis. I contacted the disability team in my council a few weeks ago and they have assigned me a key worker. Maybe this is something that can also be done in other councils. According to the NAS, we have a right to get a carer's assessment. I've just received the questionnaire and will meet my key worker next week, so I can't tell right now how useful this would be, but I will let you know in a few days.

 

Yesterday my son had another 3-4 hours of anger as a result of me taking him to a support group (which he hated). I had to put up with his aggression and abuse until late in the night. He calmed down a bit with Risperdal. He takes a very small dose but his paediatrician said that I can give him another small dose if he can't control his rage. I don't like having to give him this medication, but it's the only help I have at the moment. I don't think that I would use another sedative.

 

Hope you can get help.

 

CurraXX

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

thank you all for replies

it helps to know i am not alone, but not we are living with this alone

i have app with cons soon so will ask what the options are

elefan i am soo sorry you are still having this problem too,

x