Behaviour management in special school

[Elly]

My DD14 attends a special school and has a chromosome disorder that has left her with MLD, S&L delay,Dyspraxia,ASD traits + others. I also believe she has ADHD. Her behaviour at school as become increasingly erratic and her hormone problems(caused by turners variant) are not helping. Her latest trick is to kick people at breaktimes

 

The school seem to be focusing an awful lot on her 'bad' behaviour, rather than her good. This goes against everything we do at home; we try to reward good behaviour and, after talking it through, forgetting bad behaviour. We are well aware that if her time is not structured she will do something to gain attention and have frequently asked the school to give her 'little' jobs at breaktimes. Like everything else, they do it for a week and then forget about it She particually loves looking after the smaller children and is very happy when allowed to help in lower playground.

 

Have had another phone call today to say DD has been at it again and they have told her a letter will come home if she does not behave. DD said she would like another chance so they phone and tell us instead Hubby took phone call and he said they gave the impression that, if she misbehaves again, the so called letter we will get is a contract for us all to sign about what will happen next I don't believe in signing these contracts, especially when the child involved has no real control of her actions. My concern is that they will exclude her for a set amount of days. This would be a complete nightmare, as she will have a major meltdown at not being able to go to school(anytime off school causes a storm) It will all be my fault and I will be the punch bag for the days she is stuck at home

 

How do I get the school to see that they are going about this the wrong way? I have had so many meetings with them that I think I might just move in It just makes me so mad that you put your child in a special school and they still don't understand what they are doing wrong Does anyone think getting the ADHA officially confirmed might help? She is already on Risperidone to help her sleep and relax, I cant see what else to do.

 

Rant over.

Keep smilin

Elly

[pumpkinpie]

It sounds like you neeed to be for armed, look at the ipsea website re exclusion.

What in her iep does she have a behaviur plan? It seems to me the school should be signing up to actually follwoing through a course of action rather than doing it half heartedly.

I have already spoken to my mainstream school about a similar thing and told them its just going through the motions as far as my childs concerend and we have agreed together what we will do re certain things

[Karen A]

Elly what sort of special school is your daughter at ? I was just wondering how much awareness and training staff have re your daughter's particular needs.Karen.

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I know this is going to sound blunt, but if a child (irrespective of disability) is kicking other children, then they have to act - they have a duty of care to all the kids. However, it does sound like they need to carefully consider how to stop a child doing this. I agree that they need to focus on the good behaviour so that your daughter gains much more for that ie looking after the younger children. My son is 5 and it has to be said, he didn't have a good start to P1 (mainstream). Basically, this was down to the fact that the staff, despite being forewarned, were unprepared and had no visual timetables, etc in place. I was threatened with possibility of exclusion during his FIRST HOUR! I phoned everyone that I could think of to help and in Edinburgh there's a challenging behaviour team who sat up the back of the classroom for three weeks to observe and advise the staff. I fought and made sure Robert got 1-2-1 support (fact is, they couldn't argue - he clearly needs full-time support!). I have to say he's doing better than I expected and most days comes home filled with pride after earning extra playtime, choosing time, stickers, etc. If he has a bad day, he has a visual chart (as do the other kids), that he gets a warning before going onto the 'sad cloud'. If his behaviour continues, he goes onto the 'sad cloud', if things escalate he's given a warning that he'll lose his playtime (I'm not happy about this as he needs time to run around and let off steam!). Fact is, so far, he's lost his playtime once. It has worked so far. So basically, whilst they do have to concentrate on good behaviour, there does have to be sanctions imposed, but they have to be immediate and they child has to understand what's going on eg through visual timetables. I realise your daughter is older, but sounds like they need to be positive. They also need to consider reasons why your daughter is kicking other children - stress, hormones, etc. Could be that she needs structure at playtime? Giving your daughter reward time ie helping with jobs etc will help. I do think it's worthwhile seeking a diagnosis, purely because it may help to get professional help ie support, medication, recognition, etc. However, as far as the school is concerned, it's a reason for behaviour, but not an excuse - they still need to address how to handle things appropriately.

 

Best wishes.

 

Caroline.

[JsMum]

It looks like she may be having difficulties with Anger and may need to look at stratagies to help her especially with extras like hormones ect,,, as well as possible ADHD, so this may be something they could look into first.

 

Anger management can be effective and can be adapted for children with Special needs because you can use lots of visual aids, and many of the stratagies are practical, so for J he has a punch bag, and punching pads, to get rid of his adrenalin, the stuff that makes us shake when we are mad, using pictures to illistrate what anger does to our bodies, so a picure of a young lady with different responces happening, so the tummy is swirling, our fists are clenched, our hear beat goes faster ect,,,

 

then look at breathing excercises, and some relaxation techneques, relaxing music, art and crafts available for expressive communication, and a safe caring teacher to help reduce the anxities.

 

understanding what happens to our bodies helps because feeling angry is actually a very frightening feeling because our bodies are going into flight or fight response and makes our bodies really geared up ready for either running away or to actually fight and survive.

 

her kicking could be her way of communicating to the other person that she wants something or is upset and wants someone to take her to a safer place.

 

I hate J having to stay in at breaks too because he really needs his release times but like its been said they need to have consequences to their actions and he is learning to have to restrain himself, its a slow process and he misses more breaks than his friends but there is nothing else that they can take away from him, I also think that J sometimes finds the playground too overwhelming and its his inability to control himself that he is actually releaved to be taken inside so sometimes he actually feels more comfortable been inside, though the knock on effect later in the day is really bad.

 

I think there is more the school can do before exclusion but I do also agree that where things have been tried and failed and it continues then exclusion can only be their not to benefit the child but to benefit the children already in the school.

 

I do think an assessment into ADHD may also help towards further understanding to what may be having a contribution into her behaviour and I do know for some that ADHD and hormones are not very nice.

 

JsMum

[Elly]

I'm not suggesting that her kicking people should be ignore, I am only to aware of how much other children can suffer as a result of another childs behaviouR. Since attending the school my daughter has had a child try to stab her, her arm shut in a door, her ankle kicked so badly she could not walk properly for weeks and so on.

 

We sent her to this school because it was supposed to be an MLD school. Unfortunately, like most special schools now,it has becaome a dumping ground for children who's main issue is behavioural. When my DD started there, although she was impulsive, she was never violent towards children/teachers. She also loves school and would never have holidays if she could. Over time, with her hormones going haywire, she has started copying the behaviour and language of others. She thrives on structure and finds breaktimes hard to cope with. I have repeatedly asked for her to be given structure at breaktimes, but, as I said before the school does so for a few days then it slips again.

 

What really annoys me is repeated hearing "she knows better so should not copy other children" She loves adult attention, sees that is how other children get it and goes for it. I have sent in visual aids for her to use and have asked the school to chose 1 adult(how she relates to) who can take DD to a quiet place and discus how she feels and how to deal with those feelings. Again, short lived wonder.

 

I am going to send in a notebook this week and ask for them to keep a detailed record of her behaviour. We see her paed in half-term so can take it and our notes and see what she feels.

 

Thanks for listening to my moan.

Keep smilin

Elly