Flora Report post Posted October 17, 2007 Just wondering if anyone had experience of counseling for the siblings of children with disabilities? I had a long chat a couple of weeks ago with my dd's head of year explaining how worried my dd is about Bill and how that was affecting her overall wellbeing. She said the school had a counselor who came in once every two weeks and thought it would be a good idea for my dd to have a few sessions. She had her first meeting today and the counselor rang me up today to discuss the issues which my dd had raised (won't go into these as they are private to my dd but none of them were a surprise). My dd is a lovely girl. She's 15 and I've never had a cross word with her, this is not a word of a lie... she's hard working, bright and just lovely... but maybe a little too good I sometimes think. Well the counselor said that dd takes Bill's future on her own shoulders as her responsibility, and the fact that they are so close in age (only 14 months between them) means their relationship is extremely close (which it certainly is) and that she feels inherently guilty and responsible for his well being I've never made her feel responsible, in fact she gets loads of support from me, but she is also very supportive of ME which I took as part of our relationship but maybe that's too much for a 15 year old. Anyway, the counselor said the school have offered to pay for me to have a 1-1 private session with her which we've arranged for the 5th November. She said no problems regarding dd's relationship with me came out in the meeting but thought it would be helpful all round for us to meet and discuss everything Has anyone else had any sort of experience with counseling for siblings? I've never had counseling in my life and I'm really quite nervous about going. she's going to continue with the school based counseling once every couple of weeks with my dd. flora Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KateBall Report post Posted October 17, 2007 No I've not had any experience but I think if I'd have had the opportunity for my dd I would have taken it. My dd was like this with my ds. 11 years between them and she was and is such a help with him. However she does tend to take responsibility and burden in terms of worrying about him. I would like to think counselling would have made things easier for her. Then again does counselling just make you dwell on things more? Now she is an adult she can cope better but I know there were times when she was younger that I felt she had all the worries on her shoulders that only mothers should have and I just couldn't stop her feeling that way. Perhaps counselling would have helped. I agree with you that as with your daughter - it was also the nature of my relationship with her that made her this way. I would have hated her to have been unconcerned and uncaring. She made many sacrifices herself - and still does. Provided you have an idea as to what you hope counselling to achieve and its achievable then it would be worth pursuing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted October 17, 2007 I trained in counselling for 3 years at college and my understanding of counselling is that it give the individual an opportunity to speak freely without judgement, in a safe and confidential environment. Counselling can be benefical as the individual may say things to the counsellor (who should not know the person they are counselling, ie we were told we should not counsel a family member, friend etc) that they may choose not to reveal to those nearest and dearest for fear of hurting them or any other recriminations. I am surprised they discussed with you what your daughter said, though I am not familuar with counselling minors, but guess they sort her permission first. I am all for communication and talking can be the best therapy, I hope your daughter finds it useful. Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scrappyb Report post Posted October 18, 2007 sounds like you've just described my dd (now 16). she had some counselling at school, but I never had contact with the counsellor, or had any idea what they discussed. The counsellor booked an appt for dd during half term (!!!!) which of course didnt happen and no more appts followed. This was going back some years now. My dd also has some of her own health issues, and was later referred to a Psychologist through her own medical team, as we all felt she was struggling to cope, and she's had several appts with this new lady. I was invited to one appt, and had a brief chat but other than that have never spoken to the lady about what is discussed. (do talk to my dd though, and she sometimes talks about the appts). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frangipani Report post Posted October 18, 2007 Just wondering if anyone had experience of counseling for the siblings of children with disabilities? I had a long chat a couple of weeks ago with my dd's head of year explaining how worried my dd is about Bill and how that was affecting her overall wellbeing. She said the school had a counselor who came in once every two weeks and thought it would be a good idea for my dd to have a few sessions. She had her first meeting today and the counselor rang me up today to discuss the issues which my dd had raised (won't go into these as they are private to my dd but none of them were a surprise). My dd is a lovely girl. She's 15 and I've never had a cross word with her, this is not a word of a lie... she's hard working, bright and just lovely... but maybe a little too good I sometimes think. Well the counselor said that dd takes Bill's future on her own shoulders as her responsibility, and the fact that they are so close in age (only 14 months between them) means their relationship is extremely close (which it certainly is) and that she feels inherently guilty and responsible for his well being I've never made her feel responsible, in fact she gets loads of support from me, but she is also very supportive of ME which I took as part of our relationship but maybe that's too much for a 15 year old. Anyway, the counselor said the school have offered to pay for me to have a 1-1 private session with her which we've arranged for the 5th November. She said no problems regarding dd's relationship with me came out in the meeting but thought it would be helpful all round for us to meet and discuss everything Has anyone else had any sort of experience with counseling for siblings? I've never had counseling in my life and I'm really quite nervous about going. she's going to continue with the school based counseling once every couple of weeks with my dd. flora Hi Flora, I can see a lot of similarities with my daughter. We have been shopping most of the day for a Prom dress. Will come on after had a sleep too tired right now. But what you said above describes my daughter and they have always wanted me present at her sessions so I have a lot of positives - on how they are tackling these issue's with her. Classic advise that would benefit siblings in general in these circumstances. <'> <'> sorry my eyes are like this time for some zzzzzzzzzzzz's Fxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted October 18, 2007 Flora, don't be nervous. It sounds like it could be a really positive thing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frangipani Report post Posted October 18, 2007 (edited) Will PM you <'> <'> Edited October 19, 2007 by Frangipani Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
