Dreading Christmas

[soraya]

Hi Everyone, is anyone else out there dreading christmas as much as me? Nick gets really stressed as people come to the house and upset his routine. He trys to play games but it always ends up with arguments and Nick storming of to his room, shouting that he hates everyone and why do they have to come to his house anyway? We only ever have close family round ie grandparents uncles aunts and cousins, but Nick always ends up getting upset and angry with everyone. I know some people will say dont have anyone round, but l am sick of doing everything in life to suit Nick, and trreading on eggshells all the time. Also this is our first christmas with our new baby grandaughter and l just want it to be ok for once, the only trouble is the babys mum is very anxious as she has seen Nick attack me in the past so understanably she gets nervous when Nick cuddles the baby, but Nick being Nick sences this and trys to hold her all the time!! The good thing is my eldest son is home and he is brilliant with Nick, although he gets a bit cross after playing Halo on the X box a million times!!!!Hope you all have a stress free christmas as possible with our darling AS children!! ( I love Nick to bits and he can be really lovely sometimes !!)

[krystaltps]

I know what you mean, Soraya. We always have the in-laws at some point, and FIL always insists on taking a photograph of all three of them together. C hates getting his photograph taken and it usually ends up with C going into full-blown melt-down and DH getting seriously cheesed-off with C, and me hating FIL for putting C through this every year.

I usually make sure that santa brings C plenty to keep him occupied (DS, playstation and Wii), so he can escape to his room when he needs to - I tell him just to wander upstairs whenever he feels the need. He still gets stressed, but it helps him to know he has an "opt-out clause". And it means I have an excuse to escape too... "Just need to go check on C".

[Cat]

I am sure there has been a topic on here before about parents being all autismed out - (me thinks perhaps Baddad was involved) we all get this way. There are days when I literally stand in the loo and scream beam me up Scottie because I have had enough. I had one of those days on Saturday when I had a ten year old telling me that I knew nothing at all about autism - with me replying 'and you know nothing at all about me'

 

Of course you want to spend time with your granddaughter and without trying to interfere maybe there needs to be some hard and fast ground rules regarding the baby - as in what the babies Mum says goes because the baby is hers. I would be very clear about that. She is not a toy and therefore not to be played with or held on to. I can understand why the babies Mum is concerned I probably would be myself.

 

My sons could not stand grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins especially if they are all there together. They can not take company over a few days. They really do need chill out time. We have to stagger company and yes it is a pain but in the long run it is the best thing for all of us. My eldest found the best thing for him was to stay in his room because Christmas and company were just one too many things for him to cope with. It's not ideal but again it worked for us. We did try socialising with relatives in their homes. I would go to see my family while hubby went to see his but my hubby did not like this at all. So now we are a pair of old anti-social beggers I am afraid.

 

Cat

Edited December 19, 2007 by Cat

[Frangipani]

<'> <'> <'>

 

Keep it simple. Perhaps you could set up a tv and some good dvd's in his room to chill.

Fx

Edited December 19, 2007 by Frangipani

[rainbow queen]

you are not alone <'> <'> <'>

 

im also dreading it,

me and my boys and my mum and dad are having xmas dinner this year in a pub-which will be a nice change for my parents as they have always cooked the xmas dinner-i know its very certain ds will play up -but ive given him loads warnings and told the pub staff.............everyone will just have to put up with it -im going try to enjoy it anyway.

 

i dont have many family round anyway -except my sister comes round and theres always meltdowns when someone comes or goes.

i actually bought some board games in a 3 for 2 offer -yesterday i took them back -dont know what the hell i was thinking there-it would just be another battlefield-ds hates game rules and hates loosing.[it was wishfull thinking]

 

its going be a mamouth task getting him out of house on xmas day for the dinner

 

 

I WOULD LIKE TO WISH EVERYONE A HAPPY CHRISTMAS-AND EVERYONE TAKE CARE OF THEMSELFS XXX

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[Caffeine Junkie]

Christmas is not too bad in our household. We start decorating the house early and slowly, so that there are not too many changes at once. The little man loves lights and anything that shines, so that helps.

 

The day to day routine tends to be the same over Christmas, with the exception of the present opening. On Christmas morning, the little man takes himself straight back to bed upon seeing the pile of presents from father Christmas, and stays there until the other children have opened their presents and all the mess has been cleared away. He will then come back down and rejoin the family, and takes the rest of the day to open his presents.

 

We then have family presents of boxing day (as not to over whelm him too much with presents on chrismas day).

 

We live quite a distance from family, so we don't have anyone popping in. If we see family over Chrismas then they stay with us for a few days.

[Rhianydd]

we only have my step mum who pops in on christmas morning here

most of my family are in wales so dont see them alot

DS is use to step mum poping in so doesnt worry him to much

the problem I will have is DS wont like the change of routine with the tv programes changing

[LizC]

Hi <'> <'> Well for us it is the whole christmas time thing thaqt gets Matthew really worked up, buzzing, hyper can't settle etc. for the weeks running up to christmas it is so horrible and stressful, matthew kicks off all the time and won't settle on a night. he has always been bad on an evening anyway but it so much more at the moment. every christmas is the same. it is horrible he just can't bring himself back down, no matter what we do to try and calm him. he will be running about, jumping on furniture, making loud noises waking his younger bro up on purpose then we have double the problem! it really is difficult at the moment, will be glad when christmas is over, I really wish it didn't have to be like this! I often feel like walking out and never coming back!

Edited December 20, 2007 by LizC

[Karen A]

LizC <'> <'> <'> Karen.

[jo4themo]

Like Krystal we also let DD have "chill-out" time at Christmas - she knows she can go upstairs to her bedroom and read or play on her DS if it all gets too much. We have quite a quiet Xmas (well, as quiet as it can be with 3 children age 9 and under). I have no nieces or nephews on my side and both my parents are sadly no loner with us and we don't see my hubbie's family on Christmas Day as it is just too much for DD (we normally see them just before Xmas or in between Xmas and New Year). Our friend and her two girls (who DD adores and who understand her) will come over for lunch and stay all afternoon but DD can cope with that as we see a lot of them normally. DD can become overwhelmed with the pressies though as she usually just wants to sit and read one of her new books but then has to open more pressies! She also HATES Christmas lunch and only eats the stuffing and the sausages (without the bacon). Mind you, she makes up for it with the amount of trifle, ice-cream, chocolate and apples she will eat.