Wrestling and horror films

[openyoureyes]

Well I have not been here for some time, but feeling down and out today, probably the after shock of Christmas.

 

Just a question, my 13yr old aspie son has been obsessive about WWE wrestling for 5 years now (as he pointed out the other day) so much so he sets my mobile alarm (only alarm he trusts) to wake him up in the middle of the night to record it. Its never bothered me before all the violence etc in WWE as he has always said that he knows its not real, however, over the past year he has got more into horror films.

 

I now most teenage boys love horror & death etc and the more goory the better, but I find myself questioning my parent responsiblity. Should I be letting him watch this really terrible films??? will it have an affect on him when he is older??? He is totally obsessed with buying the latest dvd to come out (as he is too young for these films at the cinema) and spends all his paper money each week on them. I counted the other day how many films of wrestling and horror films he has and he has over 200!!!!

 

When I watched a film with him the other night (not very often I can stomach it) I was terrified and he said he dosn;'t know why I get so frighted as its only a film and the outside world is a much scarier place, this did sort of put it into perspective for me, but I want to know other peoples thoughts on this. Are any of there children this obsessed.

 

thanks for listening, made me feel slightly better getting it off my chest

[Suze]

<'> ........hi hun hope your o.k. , sorry your feelin a bit low, hope the boys are alright.Sorry I,ve not been about, laying low for a while .I saw tony attwood give a talk on adolescence a few years back, one thing he touched on was violent video/games that our kids can get obsessed with.(not the same as these horror films I know but the only thing I could think of that related to your situation)There,s a link to his site via the resources section on the forum, it might be worth a look.hugs suzex Edited January 9, 2008 by Suze

[pearl]

Hello

My lad isnt into horror but is v into stuff like Worlds Strongest Man, martial arts etc.

I think if I was in your position I would be concerned if the films were rated above his age group, & use that as a reason for him not to watch them, but if he's already been watching them I expect you'll have a fight on your hands. Not sure what else to suggest, but good luck.

[Bard]

B and I both enjoy action/adventure /horror and fantasy, but he's almost 13, and I vet what he sees. I have been to films before I took him if I wasn't sure, and I preview DVDs. Some things he manages, some he doesn't, and I know which is which. He has seen some 15s, but he came back with a couple from the charity shop and gave them to me to preview. I've seen them, and he's going to have to wait a year or so. He won't argue or get angry, because that's the way it's always been. In the same way that I have my DVDs of Blade, The Crow, Kill Bill etc, and he never touches them or tries to persuade me to let him see them. I'll let him when I think he's old enough.

 

I think the problem you might have is that he bought the DVDs and so they're his, and 200 is a huge collection. It would be hard to try and alter things, especially if he's got his own copies of 15 or 18s, and had them uncontested for a while.

[Cat]

This is something that I hear a great deal from parents who have teenage aspies. It's not easy to avoid this type of game and film because they are everywhere.

 

My 20 year old son has always been a WWF fanatic and like your son would wake to tape it - well that is not true he would stay awake to tape it. He was also hooked on Street Fighter and I hated the game. He sat me down (yes really) when he was about 16 and asked me what I would rather he did. Would I rather that he took any of his frustrations and agressions out in person or on a computer screen. He said that he was well aware that it was a game, was not real life and that in real life you don't get an extra life to start all over again He assured me that he does know the difference between what he is viewing/playing and reality. I know this to be true so I stopped worrying as much and lo and behold a couple of years ago he changed direction and we now live in an Ice Hockey obsessed environment. No more WWF no more beat em up's well not as many.

 

He has actually started doing games reviews for a forum that he helps to moderate and they are so good - the forum is saying this not me - that they are now on You Tube. I decided that I had to view them to see what he was posting onto the WWW. I was quite amazed. As well as reviewing the games he was saying that he would far rather see a young lad playing a WWF game than see him beating the stuffing out of someone in real life. He said that in real life punching someone in the mouth can result in them loosing their teeth and you loosing your freedom.

 

Can I rest now? I think so. It is a very fine line indeed and I think you are best place to know if your son is 100% sure that these games films etc are not real and that he is not viewing them thinking that they are.

 

Cat

[baddad]

Hiya -

 

I agree with pearl, especially if it's 18 rated material he's viewing...

given the huge advances in special effects, even 15 rated stuff these days makes the old 'slash horror' xxx nasties of our day look like a picnic in the park.

It's not as simple as 'monkey see/monkey do' as many of the moral brigade would argue, but I do think that overexposure to any sort of 'extreme' material goes hand in glove with issues of desensitisation and normalisation even for those who do view it in a 'healthy' way...

 

complex issue, but in a nutshell i think at thirteen 15 rated should be the upper limit, and even here it's probably prudent to pre-view personally beforehand

 

Hope that helps

 

L&P

 

BD

[Kathryn]

Should I be letting him watch this really terrible films??? will it have an affect on him when he is older??? He is totally obsessed with buying the latest dvd to come out (as he is too young for these films at the cinema) and spends all his paper money each week on them. I counted the other day how many films of wrestling and horror films he has and he has over 200!!!!

 

Hi openyoureyes

 

Whether you let him watch them is up to you, and I know children have different tolerance levels and there's a lot of debate about how much they are influenced by scenes of violence, horror etc. My 10 year old son can watch fairly graphic violence and be completely unmoved, but can be deeply affected by an emotional scene in a family film: eg in the tv version of Oliver Twist the other week where Sykes kills Nancy, he got really upset and left the room while it was shown - although there was no explicit violence. So I think films have to be judged on their own merits. That said, I would usually not let my son see films which were rated more than two years above his actual age: eg he is 10 now so he sees most 12 restricted films. A 15 I would have to make a decision on, preferably after seeing the film myself. I doubt whether I would let him see an 18 at all.

 

As far as buying them is concerned - it's illegal to sell an age restricted DVD/video to someone who is underage, with a fine and/or prison term for the retailer - how is your son getting them?

 

K x

Edited January 10, 2008 by Kathryn

[krystaltps]

I agree with Cat... I think it boils down to the child's comprehension of what is real and what is not. Sometimes that comes with maturity, sometimes with pragmatism. Attitude is important too.

A year or so ago, someone gave us a bunch of old PS1 games for the boys to play or their PS2s... and one of them was wrestling. Well, lo and behold, within half an hour of playing the game, C was chucking his brother to the ground and jumping on him! The game went straight into the bin. Now, C does have a good understanding of what's real and what's not... but it's his attitude that's the problem. He's prone to violent outbursts and these things simply give him ideas on how to go about doing it better! So we have to carefully monitor what he's choosing by way of games and DVDs, but that's not to say we go strictly by age limit... sometimes he's allowed to buy a 12 (Harry Potter, for example, because any violence is minimum and purely of a magical nature, therefore it cannot be reinacted, and because he isn't frightened by these things).

It's a difficult one, as so many factors are involved, and if it's his obsession - that makes it even more complicated. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

Edit: just have to add, by way of comparison - while C is able to watch Harry Potter films comfortably, E (DD) was totally freaked out tonight by the Bounty advert. She cried for over an hour and is currently sleeping in my bedroom. Men dressed as women really scare her. Therefore, for her, films such as Mrs. Doubtfire constitute as horror films. It's an example of how different things affect different people with different ideas and tolerance levels.

Edited January 10, 2008 by krystaltps

[openyoureyes]

thanks for all the comments, I agree with Cat as my son does say that he knows its not real but when he watches anything to do with Aliens or the weather this really scares him where a horror film does not move him at all. Also the agression seems to be taken out of him when he has had a dose of WWE and he always seems a lot calmer once hes watched a few matches. Think I will see how it goes and monitor him more. As to the question where is he buying them, he gets lots from car boots and charity shops as they seem to sell anything to anyone!!!!

 

Oh well, thanks again and Hi Suze hope you are well must catch up with you soon, try and get over to one of our meetings soon would be great to see you again

[Suze]

<'> ...........still can,t access e-mail...whens the next meet?

[darky]

I think it is down to parent discretion. My daughter has a real problem seperating reality from fantasy, and even her dreams, her perception is so bad. My eldest almost 14 is a sensible lad and I am far more leniant with him than I am with my daughter because he can seperate the two. I let him play some 18 games, but never anything like grand theft auto.

 

My daughter can get upset at the most obscure things so even age appropriate material can be wrong. In the film meet the fockers, my daughter went balistic about the dog getting flushed down the toilet by the cat. She is terrified of Harry potter because of the writing on the wall in the chamber of secrets. As a child I was petrified of Tom Baker in Dr Who because of his eyes! I was even scared of Laurel and Hardey lol.

 

My youngest son (11), it "seems" like nothing phases him, but I did get a reality check when I discovered he took a knife into school, and he is the one who I would have least expected to do such a thing. He thought it might protect him from bullies He is the one I worry about most now because he keeps everything internal and never discusses his feelings or even tries to.