CarolJ Report post Posted February 1, 2008 Hello folks and peasantry, Well I just wanted to share with you the events of the past week. My little boy who is 8 was identified as needing 1 on 1 support in a specialist autistic school. He has always hit as part of his autism. Its a way of gaining attention and communicating, which has been reinforced into learned beahaviour. I knew that the school had applied to the LEA for funding to put in 1 on 1 support for my son. Last wednesday evening Ihad a phone call from head who said that DS was not to return to the school until fundign had been agreed by the LA He used words like he had assulted his teacher, unacceptable beahviour! I unforutnately did not take the call as I was shopping. so had towait until the next day to call school back. Head was very unhelpful and defensive and refused to meet wit me until a review meeting scheduled for the followign wednesday he told me the exclusion was non-negotiatible and he wold not consider anythign until the LA had approved extra funding so I should get onto them! Well needless to say Idid a bit of homework, contacted the LA and spoke to the chief bod who said they were not happy about being held to ransom for extra funding. In fact he said why I was speaking ot him asthe funding is usually sorted between the LA and school parents were not involved! Needless to say the letter which followed from the head, broke every rule in the bookand also contravened the law under Disability discrimination Act. My son was being excluded because of the way his autism affected his behaviours and the school knew and agreed to this in the meeting we had subsequently. Had the meeting wednesday and i have to say I didnt hold back. I had social worker/ASD adviser from LA and parent partnership rep there. After listening to what the school had to say I listed all the legislation that they had contravened and said they were breaking the law and had even contravened their own SEN policy. I said to them if they continued with the the indefinite exclusion then I would have to pursue legalaction against them. The school is a specialist autistic school. which is part of a group who are growing and gaining a lot of recongition within the field. I asked "how would this look in the papers, autistic child excluded from autistic school because they were exhibiting autistic behaviours" basically I wanted them to know how how it felt to be blackmailed. That afternoon I had a call from the head invitingmy son back to school the next day with 1 on 1 support in place which the school had managed to locate the funding for in lieu of the LA agreeing the funding. So boy is back at school and happy as am I My daughter is now attending a school for moderatelearning difficulties she now has the dx of HFA. she was being picked on at school by an autistic boy - so I had to go to her school yesterday. Its never ending. I have learned that I cant afford to be nice and beat about bush. I have learnedfrom my kids time is precious and I am direct and clear. I know I sometimes upset people but at least they know where I stand. Hope you all are having a good one. weekend is looming. Hugsa all x on a different note my friend has just called me in tears her dd is beign bullied by a kid with autism.... its never ending....I told her to access the schools anti bullying procedures and stick to her guns. I think sometimes schools dont take bullying seriously enough. Anyone got any advice, aside from kicking a few buts? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted February 1, 2008 Hi I dont think we've met. Just wanted to say well done, our kids get one shot at an education & you did the right thing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted February 1, 2008 Blimey - blast from the past! Hi, hun <'> All sounding good (IYKWIM) even if you are still having to fight the fight to keep on top of it all Hope things more settled generally now L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted February 1, 2008 Hi I dont think we've met. try looking around the early posts in the batcave for 'ASM'... or a bit further in for 'sparkledraws' sorry, given away your secret ID Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted February 1, 2008 Tis a scary place that batcave, I have noooo idea what peeps are talking about .... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted February 1, 2008 (edited) Hi I dont think we've met. Just wanted to say well done, our kids get one shot at an education & you did the right thing. hi pearl, and thanks! Oi oi BD hows BD jnr? Yes I blasted in today to let you know I am still alive and still fighting the evil ones at SENCO - All i can say it felt good to say my piece and to fight the injustice against my son. I am getting fiesty in my old age! Edited February 1, 2008 by CarolJ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted February 1, 2008 try looking around the early posts in the batcave for 'ASM'... or a bit further in for 'sparkledraws' sorry, given away your secret ID Pearl neither do 99 per cent. of the people who post there, I certainly never knew what I was talking about... I cant imagine much has changed. Theres enough material in that batcave to keep a convention of psychiatrists busy for a year! Present company excluded of course Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted February 1, 2008 Pearl neither do 99 per cent. of the people who post there, I certainly never knew what I was talking about... I cant imagine much has changed. Theres enough material in that batcave to keep a convention of psychiatrists busy for a year! Present company excluded of course Guess what BD I have a boyfriend now and hes on the spectrum - cant believe it - he scored 87% on the Cambridge ARU test! Hes very geeky, loves, computers, online games, LOTR and collects stuff like he has to have the whole series of DVD in a collection - hes so methodical and finds the chaos of my house hard to bear but hes a diamond. I am the only NT in my house - Problem is he finds it very difficult to express emotion apart from anger he cant put his emotions into words at first Ithought he was cold and didnt really like me very much but one day after he told me about his dad and what his dad used to do the penny dropped and I got him to take an online test! He drives me crazy and I drive him crazy but its good cos we understand each other. Hes not had successful relationships in the past and he could never figure out why. He says some hurtful things sometimes without realisign the impact it has on the listener. Hes totally unaware of the effect of his words! this is what alerted me to the possibility of his being on the spectrum originally! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted February 1, 2008 Guess what BD I have a boyfriend now and hes on the spectrum - cant believe it - he scored 87% on the Cambridge ARU test! Hes very geeky, loves, computers, online games, LOTR and collects stuff like he has to have the whole series of DVD in a collection - hes so methodical and finds the chaos of my house hard to bear but hes a diamond. I am the only NT in my house - Bit of a typo there - you left the U and the TER out I hope he's looking after you, and that you're looking after him and that the both of you are looking after the both of them Your house chaos? I find that soooo hard to believe! L&P (as always) CC Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted February 1, 2008 Hi Carol J, You were one of the people who gave me loads encouragement in the early days when I first joined the forum. Good to see you back - and still fighting! K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 1, 2008 Wow!!! Welcome back, hun <'> Bidx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted February 1, 2008 Brilliant to see you back! Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted February 1, 2008 Bit of a typo there - you left the U and the TER out I hope he's looking after you, and that you're looking after him and that the both of you are looking after the both of them Your house chaos? I find that soooo hard to believe! L&P (as always) CC Hey BD he walks around with a look of shock on his face most of the time lmaof - hes certainly had his eyes opened to a lot of things. Hes happy enough as long as I dont try to rush him he doesnt like being rushed he likes to take his time plod along and and do things just so - he cant jump from one thing to another it really upsets him = whereas I am all over the place! Hes bought some calmness to the chaos of the house, which the kids seem to appreciate. Kaythrn, we always have to fight it never stops. Its good fun the more you fight the tougher you become. I have learned from the adversity I have faced and become a much stronger person. I am much happier now then I have ever been. Yes bid tis me ASM just popped in to let you know I am still alive and kicking!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted February 1, 2008 Brilliant to see you back! Nice to be back Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rocketgob Report post Posted February 1, 2008 Hiya - you don't know me either but thought I would say hello and good on you for sticking to your guns! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elun1 Report post Posted February 1, 2008 <'> I remember you Carol Nice to see you Elun xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted February 1, 2008 hey everyone its good to be back I hope I can share my experiences with you all and give you support. It took a long timebut I really struggled to accept my kids as autistic and stopped wishing them to be NTs. I now love them and accept them the way they are. Its society that still has a problem but hey thats their problem not mine! I always loved my kids but found it difficult to accept their autism. I had to fight social conditioning and really be honest with myself in order to fully accept and love my kids. <'> >< My son is so special I cant even begin to put into words the way i feel about him and the love he shows me even though he cant talk. My daughter has an attitude that would make Kevin and Perry proud. Love her to bits she has a wicked sense of humour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted February 1, 2008 hey everyone its good to be back I hope I can share my experiences with you all and give you support. It took a long timebut I really struggled to accept my kids as autistic and stopped wishing them to be NTs. I now love them and accept them the way they are. Its society that still has a problem but hey thats their problem not mine! I always loved my kids but found it difficult to accept their autism. I had to fight social conditioning and really be honest with myself in order to fully accept and love my kids. <'> >< My son is so special I cant even begin to put into words the way i feel about him and the love he shows me even though he cant talk. My daughter has an attitude that would make Kevin and Perry proud. Love her to bits she has a wicked sense of humour That is such a lovely, honest and inspiring post. JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted February 1, 2008 Hi Carol.I do not know you at all....am much too new around here.Welcome back. <'> <'> Karen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mandyque Report post Posted February 2, 2008 Hi there, I'm shocked and disgusted at your ds's school, that is appalling, good on you for fighting them! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
